


The Winter Chill

by Steph_R94



Category: Vampire Knight
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 95,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5525942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph_R94/pseuds/Steph_R94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Change was inevitable; all beings went through it, but none expected the changes this winter would bring. None more so than Yuuki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Approaching Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

The winter holidays were upon Cross Academy. The Night Class students and most of the Day Class students had already departed for their homes. The only ones remaining now were the Headmaster, his “children”, and one caramel headed girl standing at the gates of the academy. This girl’s name was Sayori Wakaba; and she was Yuuki’s best friend. Yuuki, of course, was the Headmaster’s adopted daughter. Yori didn’t really want to leave her best friend, but she knew the girl would be fine. Zero Kiryuu, Yuuki’s other best friend, lived with her at the Headmaster’s house. Yuuki wouldn’t be lonely. So, with a slightly light heart, Yori waved one last time to her best friend and climbed into her father’s car.

Yuuki continued to wave at her friend until the car was out of sight. Once the car was round the corner, she let her hand fall back to her side and her smile slipped from her lips. Her friendship with Yori—while still as strong as the day they had met—was strained on her end. There were so many things—more now than there were before—that she was keeping from her.

At first, it had simply been the existence of vampires and her sketchy past, but now…now it was Zero’s vampirism along with the Night Class and the reasons behind her lightheadedness when they were together. It was the reasons behind the heaviness in her steps, the sudden darkness in her eyes. She sighed and looked upward as small flake hit her on the nose. It melted the minute it touched her skin. She raised a hand and wiped it off. _‘How long until I can no longer call her my best friend?’_ Yuuki wondered. _‘We used to talk to one another about everything. Zero’s mood swings, Kaname’s distance and my feelings for him…her feelings about her father and her stress over school…but now…now we don’t even talk about that anymore. I know she senses my distance, senses the dark thoughts in my mind…but she knows better than to ask. She thinks I’ll come to her about it in time, but how can I?’_ Her heart sunk violently in her chest; she swallowed back tears. _‘It sucks. I really need someone to talk too…’_ She admitted mentally. Her whole world felt like it had been tilted off its axis in the last few months. _‘And my only choices are Zero—an emotionally constipated yet kind hearted vampire or Kaname—another emotional constipated vampire that doesn’t need to know about all of the conflicted emotions bubbling around in my heart. Really…neither of them do since it has everything to do with them…’_ She sighed and started back toward the house. She caught sight of Zero in the second story window. He looked away whenever she looked up at him. Her heart tugged as she took him in. _‘Zero…’_

She’d seen him every day for the past four years; wherever he was, she was. That was just the way it was. Lately though she had realized something else. When he wasn’t around, she felt like something vital was missing; but her world wasn’t darker at his absence. Zero was a cherished person to her, but his presence in her life paled in comparison with Kaname. Her eyes stung. She hated this time of year for many, many reasons; lately though she hated herself even more.

_“Will you become a vampire…Yuuki? Will you become a monster that devours blood…and live the long flow of time…with me?”_ She recalled the day before with a flush of shame.

_“Yes…”_ Yes, she had said. Yet she had still cried. She tried to pass off her tears as feeling too much, but deep inside she knew the truth. And now…hardly twelve hours later, she acknowledged that truth.

_“Do you think…my heart will grow stronger…if I become a vampire?”_ She had asked Zero quietly, _selfishly and inconsiderately._ She had seen his expression of pain and shock and instantly she felt remorseful; yet, she had continued to twist that knife. _“Kaname asked me if I would become a vampire. ‘Yes’ was all I could say to him.”_ She hadn’t been able to look Zero in the eye as she spoke those words. She knew what his expression was be and she wanted so strongly to stop speaking, but the words kept pouring. In that hallway, she laid her shame on him. _“Oh, but,”_ she tried to dismiss it as silly, _“Kaname wasn’t serious.”_ She had said. Yuuki scoffed. What bull. She knew he had been serious. Kaname’s eyes had glowed; he had been on the edge of his control. She knew that she herself had been serious. When she had looked up, her heart stopped. Zero’s eyes were distant, angry, and filled with hatred.

_“You’re saying you want to become a vampire?”_ Yuuki rubbed her arms as she walked toward her house. _“I will never allow that to happen…even if it makes Kuran my enemy…and even if you hate me for it.”_ She sighed deeply and stopped. She didn’t want to go in the house anymore. Zero had been avoiding her since she had said those things. She wanted to explain, but to speak the truth aloud would somehow make it more real.

Yuuki had said yes not just because it had felt right—and it had felt right, _god,_ _how right_ _it had felt_ —but also because she was so tired of trying to force herself to remember her past; she was tired of the bone-chilling fear that filled her when she watched a horror movie that centered around parents sacrificing themselves for their children; she was tired of crying herself to sleep at night as the memories once again alluded her, leaving horrifying nightmares in their place. She knew that vampirism would remove any block in her mind. Her heart tinged at the next thought that rose unbidden in her mind, _‘unless Kaname was the one who placed the block in the first place.’_ Her eyes stung as she wrapped her arms around her waist in an effort not to cry.

_‘What is happening to me? Kaname…what has happened to us?’_ She mourned. _‘Years ago, months ago even, I would have never doubted you. I would have never thought you capable of manipulating me like I was one of your chess pieces, but I’m just as much a pawn on your board as any other piece, aren’t I? You removed my memories of that night when I followed Zero…and if he hadn’t known I was there, I would have never known you had done it.’_ She bit deep into her lip as she started shaking with repressed emotions. _‘You knew how much I cherish the memories I’ve made. After witnessing my fear when we were younger, why would you do such a thing—knowing it would hurt me?’_ What made her hurt worse? All she wanted was to throw herself in his arms and cry like she had when they were children—like she had when she was six and the thunderstorm outside had frightened her. She wanted to seek comfort in the person that had harmed her, but she _couldn’t_. She wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to him or to her to take comfort in him when she would just push him away later. A small sardonic smile crossed her lips. _‘We are becoming the same, Kaname…Used to, it was only you that would push me away. I wonder…how does it feel now that I am returning the favor?’_ Her eyes widened as she realized the darkness in her thoughts. Her body shook despite her attempts to stop it. She didn’t know if she liked the person she was becoming. Her smiles were fake most of the time; she was becoming meaner and having violent thoughts she wouldn’t have entertained previously. (Just the other night, she had thought about taking out Aido’s kneecaps if he kept running from her in such a silly game. And she had wanted Zero’s gun to do it.)

She wanted comfort. She wanted someone to hold her as she fell apart right now. She wanted to throw herself into Zero’s arms and tell him everything that bothered her no matter how confusing. She wanted to break down in front him, but she was so afraid of hurting him. He had suffered enough; he shouldn’t shoulder her problems too. (Even though she was secretly certain it would make him happy to hear that she was doubting Kaname, that she was purposely distancing herself from him no matter how much it hurt her to do.)

She could go to her father, but he would demand to know why she was hurting, why she was sobbing so heavily. How could she tell him? He would be so disappointed in her; he would go on a warpath and the fragile balance their academy had achieved would be destroyed. She couldn’t do that to him. His ideals meant so much to him.

So, Yuuki stood in the snow, simply shivering underneath the on slant of her emotions and the cold—both inner and outer—until the Headmaster called her inside.

“Yuuki?” She heard him call; his voice was low and soft as if speaking to a spooked animal. That same, cursed sardonic smile pulled at her lips before she wiped it away and looked up at him. “Dinner’s ready.” He continued; his amber eyes were filled with worry. She forced yet another smile and prayed that he wouldn’t see the emotions in her eyes.

“What are we having?” She asked pleasantly to distract him. He smiled; it was just as fake a smile as the one Yuuki was sporting.

“Oden,” he said softly. Yuuki smiled-a tiny true smile-as she walked into the house alongside him. _‘Zero’s favorite,’_ she acknowledged.

Kaien Cross gave no indication that he noticed the darkness growing in Yuuki’s heart. He acted as though he didn’t see her eyes darkening with negative emotion. She wouldn’t talk to him. She wouldn’t reach out to him because he wasn’t supposed to know all of her secrets. He wasn’t supposed to know that Zero had been drinking from her since that first bite; he wasn’t supposed to know that her relationship with Kaname was becoming distant and strained. He wasn’t supposed to know that she was no longer the same girl she had been months ago. He looked away from her as they entered the kitchen. All of these things he wasn’t supposed to know weighed heavily on him. Almost as heavily as the things he wasn’t able to say.

Every winter the sadness tinted Yuuki’s eyes, but this winter there was more. The sadness that used to just scratch the surface of her eyes now seemed bone-deep. Her shoulders slumped underneath her exhaustion; and the sparkle that used to still exist was dampened to a low gleam. Kaien feared that this winter would prove to be the worst for her. Winter, instead of fall, would bring about a change; and Kaien wasn’t too prideful to admit that he was terrified of it.

The past months and the growing chill in her own heart was forcing Yuuki to mature and harden; Kaien had never mourned more for the loss of innocence. That dark, cynical twist to her lips haunted him even as he laid down for bed.

X

            _The throbbing pain in her throat had awoken her from sleep and sent her stumbling into the bathroom. The moment cool water touched her throat, the pain scorched brighter. Dear God, the pain…it rippled down her throat like barbed, razor wire and burned in equal measure. With every dry swallow, the burning increased. She was sure she would die of it. Nothing she could think to do—massaging it, swallowing, wetting a warm wash rag and draping it over her throat—helped. A pitiful whimper escaped her lips as she fell away from the sink and slid down the wall. She buried her head in her hands and clenched her eyes as tightly as she could. Even the tears sliding down her cheeks burned. ‘This is hell,’ she thought, ‘what did I do to-’_

“Will you become a vampire, Yuuki?” _She heard his voice, beautiful and smooth as it had always been and she heard her answer. Then, she felt it: the painful slice of fangs through the soft skin of her neck. The puncture wounds flared as if responding to her thought. She yelped and dropped her hands to her neck. The bite—though gentle—had hurt worse…a thousand times worse than Zero’s. It had felt as though molten lava had been forced through her blood. And, apparently, it hadn’t stopped. She curled tightly in a ball and begged:_

_“Make it stop. Make it stop. Dear God…please make it stop…” Her words froze in her throat as she picked up the sound of feet coming toward the bathroom door._

_“Yuuki?” Yori called through the gap, but it was overshadowed by the sound of her heartbeat. B-bump…B-bump…B-bump. Her blood flowed steadily through her veins. She wasn’t afraid. The burn in Yuuki’s throat increased. She felt her teeth—her **fangs** —slice through her bottom lip and realized with a freezing rush of fear what would alieve the thirst. The twisted and dark part of her heart whispered that Yori would soon be terrified. _

_The doorknob turned; the door cracked open; a pale hand slipped in and pushed the door open. Yuuki swallowed and breathed through her mouth as she tried to get back in control. She could do this. She could do this. Yori kneeled in front of her. Just inches away. Her short hair barred her neck incitingly. Yuuki scrunched her eyes shut and bit deep into her cheek. She could do this. Friends don’t eat friends. She wouldn’t hurt Yori. A slender hand touched hers and-through the sound of her blood rushing through her ears—she heard Yori ask what was wrong. Yuuki could resist. Yori was not food. She would never be food. She could—her thought froze as the smell of cherries and something…intoxicating reached her nose. Her eyes snapped open. Yori had pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, unintentionally sending a whiff of her scent toward Yuuki. Unintentionally taunting the beast. Unbidden, Yuuki leaned forward and brushed her nose against her friend’s neck; the motion hid her glowing red eyes from Yori. Her caramel colored hair tickled her nose as she took in the smell that accompanied cherries. Chocolate._

_B-bump, b-bump, b-bump. A small growl escaped her lips as her heart sped up. This close she could feel the heat from her blood. She leaned closer, as if in a trance, and brushed her lips against Yori’s carotid artery. “Y…Yuuki?” Yori stuttered; an attractive blush stole across her cheeks and down her neck. That blush shredded the last of Yuuki’s frayed control. She spread her lips over Yori’s neck, letting her feel the brush of her fangs, and before the girl could jerk away—she sank her teeth in her neck._

X

            “NO!” Zero jerked awake at the scream that made its way through his bedroom wall. It was filled with pain and fear; it was Yuuki’s voice. And like always, it spurred him into movement. He leapt from bed and jerked his door open before the echo of her scream died. He was at her door not a minute later. He threw himself against it as he turned the handle, not taking the chance of common courtesy. The door gave easily. He froze in the doorway. Yuuki was curled up as tight as she could be in the middle of her bed. Her head snapped up at his entrance. Wide, frightened, and impossibly sad rust colored eyes locked on him. The fear in her eyes dimmed just a little, but the sadness took over. Her lower lip quivered and before he could ask anything, Yuuki lunged off of the bed and darted into his arms. Her hands clenched tightly at the waistband of his sleep pants; her arms felt like steel around his ribs; and the force of the collision nearly knocked him off his feet.

            “Yu…Yuuki?” He muttered; her behavior worried him. The desperation in which she clung to him and the way she shook so violently chilled him to the bone. She wasn’t just scared and she had passed terrified. Her head burrowed hard against his sternum. She was pressed so closely that he felt her lips move against him before she cried:

            “I’m so sorry!” She sobbed brokenly and clutched him tighter. “I don’t wanna—don’t let me—Yori!” She moaned; her hand tightened in his waistband, drawing the fabric tighter around his hips. Zero couldn’t understand her frightened rambles, but he could certainly guess. He had had nightmares for months of draining Yuuki dry or going on a killing spree. If her nightmare had been anything like his…He crossed his arms over her back and held her. He could feel her lips moving against his chest, but he couldn’t make out the words. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and sighed.

            Yeah, he’d been angry at her for saying she wanted to become a vampire, but more than that—he’d been hurt. Moment of weakness or not, Yuuki should never want this. Didn’t she see him struggle? Didn’t she see the pain the thirst imposed on him? Had Kuran swayed her into believing that it would be different? He tightened his arms around her. He had meant what he said: he would never let her become a vampire. He would kill Kuran first.

Yuuki may think she wants a life with Kuran; she may think it will be filled with love and adoration, but the life she would get with him would be filled with blood and thirst. She would have to fight everyday…whether it was the right to be by Kuran’s side or the thirst. It was not a life he wanted for her.

But what life would Yuuki have with him? He would descend, eventually, into a mindless monster that wanted nothing but blood. She would have to kill him and that…that would destroy her. Asking her to kill him…he knew it had been selfish. He knew she would suffer for doing it; that she would die inside just a little. He closed his eyes and grit his teeth.

Then there was the option that killed him worse than Kuran…watching her with a human man. Someone who could give her all of the things in life she deserved, all of the things that he and Kuran couldn’t. Someone who could be with her without strings dangling over them; someone who could kiss her on the neck without wanting to take a bite.

The loosening of his pants pulled his attention back to the girl in his arms. She had let go of the waistband of his sleep pants. He tensed and his heart jumped into his throat as she slid her hands around his hips. Heat from her hands scorched him, leaving an emotional imprint. She pushed gently against his stomach, but still stood in the circle of his arms as she looked up at him. A becoming blush stained her cheeks as she looked over his shoulder. He wondered, idly in the back of his mind, if she knew just how that touch, her closeness affected him. He doubted she did; Yuuki was never purposely cruel.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized again. Zero could hear it in her voice; she was going to try and brush off her reaction as nothing. He clenched his jaw as she pushed out of his arms and walked back toward her bed. He didn’t want to let her, but he knew…how he knew there was nothing he could do to stop her. She sank down on the edge. Her rust colored eyes fixed on the floor. Zero tsked and moved to sit beside her.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asked awkwardly. He wasn’t accustom the walls she had thrown up lately. Up until a few months ago, Yuuki had honored their system set up four years ago. Neither would suffer the aftermath of a nightmare alone. Even he, who hated opening up, would talk to her about his nightmares so that she could lay his demons to rest if just for a night; he had thought he would be the one to dishonor the system first, never Yuuki.

He knew she had been having nightmares more frequently; the bags underneath her eyes and the increased paleness of her skin told him of her sleepless nights. His stomach rolled uncomfortably when he thought of just when these nightmares had started—the night he first sunk his teeth into her.

“I…” Yuuki started to talk to him, but her throat closed up. “I…I don’t know where to start.” Zero was silent, waiting for her to gather her thoughts. She sighed. “I think…Kaname bit me after I said yes—in my dream. The pain…was so intense that I thought I would die.” Zero grimaced as he unwillingly reminisced Hio’s bite. How he had felt…how it had _burned_. “I wanted too,” Yuuki’s quiet whisper brought him back to her, “but never much so as when I woke up. The thirst…it burned like lava and cut my throat like razors…nothing would help. I drank water…but it only made it burn worse…like my body rejected it.” Zero tensed completely; shock pulsed through his body. What Yuuki was describing…was truly the thirst. He looked over at her. His lavender eyes narrowed. He studied her completely as she spoke. She raised a hand to cover the side of her throat. Her hand rested over the scars of his marks. “I didn’t realize what my body truly wanted until…until Yori came in.” Tears leaked from her eyes again. “She was so concerned…and I was doing well. I was ignoring the sound of her heartbeat as long as it was steady…Really, I was resisting, but then…she pushed her hair behind her ear and...Her scent…then…I guess she got scared…her heart started to race…” Yuuki started shaking heavily. Her arms crossed over her stomach. The area around her mouth was green. “I bit her, Zero, and…I think if I hadn’t woken up…I would have drained her. I wouldn’t have stopped.” She looked over at him. “That’s your greatest fear, isn’t it? That one day you’ll bite me and you won’t be able to stop.” Zero didn’t answer, but his silence was enough. She looked away from him and up toward the ceiling. They sat in silence, both lost in their thoughts.

“I can’t say it won’t happen,” Yuuki’s soft statement broke the silence. Zero flinched at the honest statement. “But I trust you.” She promised as she looked over at him again. Her rust colored eyes weren’t tortured anymore—at least, no more than they were nowadays; but they were filled with trust and a soft emotion that Zero couldn’t identify. It wasn’t quite love, but it was close. “You have such control…you would make yourself stop.”

Zero wanted to do many things then. He wanted to scoff at her faith in him; and yet he wanted to thank her for her trust in him, but his throat had closed up at her words. He couldn’t speak so he settled for placing his hand over hers and squeezing.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Yuuki asked after many minutes of silence. His eyes widened in shock; his thoughts stuttered. She flushed and rubbed the back of her neck before adding, “Like we used to?” Zero blinked, suddenly understanding and flushing himself. He didn’t answer vocally; instead, he stood up and approached her closet.

X

Yuuki slipped her feet underneath her covers and pulled them up to her nose, hiding completely underneath the off white covers. She heard Zero settle into his pallet and smiled. Relief swelled within her heart so strongly that she felt tears stinging her eyes again. She bit into her bottom lip. She was tired of crying; she had cried too much tonight as it was, but for the first time in months—she felt lighter. She knew the weight would descend again in a few hours.

“Thank you, Zero,” she whispered. He didn’t say anything, but he never had too. She scooted down lower in her covers and relaxed as the heat seeped into her body. In minutes, she was asleep. Nightmares of blood and thirst had been left behind.

Relief filled Zero’s heart as well, but for a different reason. For the past few months, he had been scared that the Yuuki he had known was gone. Her confiding in him tonight had given him hope. Maybe his Yuuki wasn’t so gone; maybe she was just lost in the darkness. As Zero closed his eyes, he vowed to not let that darkness claim her.


	2. Evasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaien misdirects Zero’s suspicions, but a desperate phone call to Kaname brings them back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

Yuuki awoke slowly the next morning. The sun had barely made its way over the horizon when she opened her eyes. She was instantly aware of a draft on her torso and looked down. The cover was bunched at her hips and tangled haphazardly around her legs. She had apparently had a very active night though she couldn’t remember any dreams. She sat up slowly, aware of the aches and pains in her body and looked over the edge of the bed to see if Zero was still there. He wasn’t. She frowned. _‘He must have left some time during the night…’_ She flushed as she recalled asking him to stay. _‘It would be very awkward for the Headmaster to find Zero coming out of my room. It wouldn’t matter to him that nothing had happened; it still would look bad.’_ She would have to remember to thank Zero later. She bent and began the meticulous task of getting her legs free from their entrapment. She gave a small triumphant sound as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

She stood up from the bed. The warmth underneath her feet brought about the realization that Zero had only just left. She wiggled her toes and dreaded walking past the spot, but she needed to get to her closet. She took a deep breath and stepped away from the warm spot. Instantly, her feet prickled at the cold. She grit her teeth and opened the closet quickly. She pulled out a pair of thick, dark black leggings, a white skirt, and one of her sweaters: a black turtleneck with white butterflies lining the hem. It was one of her favorites and, today, she let it bring her comfort.

As she dressed, her mind wandered back to the nightmare. _‘If Kaname did change me…I doubt he would leave me with Yori or any other human,’_ she knew. _‘If Kaname did change me…’_ She repeated in her head as she walked down the hall. ‘ _Am I truly still thinking about it after last night?_ ’ She thought, shocked. _‘After all of the horror I had felt…do I truly still want to be a vampire?’_

Kaname’s face flashed through her mind. His dark hair blowing with an imaginary wind; his dark rust-colored eyes filled with warm and the usual heart-breaking loneliness. His lips were curved in that gentle smile he reserved just for her. Her heart skipped a tiny beat and she flushed.

_‘I don’t…want him to be lonely anymore…’_ She acknowledged as she laced her hands together in front of her hips. She dismounted the stairs. She could hear the quiet conversation of Zero and the Headmaster along with the clink of plates. She stopped outside the kitchen and leaned against the wall. _‘I don’t want him to go through the rest of his years alone, but…can I really leave all of this behind?’_ She closed her eyes.

_‘Who says I’d have to?’_ Chimed in the back of her mind. _‘Kaname wouldn’t make me leave them, not for good. I’d still be able to talk to them every now and then. It wouldn’t be like I’d died.’_ She felt the prickle along her spine before she saw him. She looked over her shoulder to see Zero looking at her. Concern was written in his lavender orbs. She forced a reassuring smile onto her lips and walked on inside the kitchen.

“There’s my lovely daughter! Zero and I thought you weren’t going to come down!” The Headmaster greeted her energetically. “Breakfast is cinnamon buns!” He smiled as he saw light enter her eyes. Last night had been Zero’s favorite; this morning was Yuuki’s. He was happy to see that sparkle back. He leaned forward and departed in a quiet whisper, “Zero made them.” Her eyes lit up even brighter. Kaien couldn’t stop the chuckle. He looked back toward the stove to see Zero watching her. A rare warmth was in his lavender eyes that froze the man’s heart. His mind unwillingly turned to the secret Kaname had forced him to keep; and his heart shattered just a little bit more for the boy. Zero loved Yuuki; it was plain for even the densest of man to see. He loved Yuuki, but in the end he would lose her. ‘And so,’ Kaien mourned, ‘will I.’ It was why he tried to make the most out of these days he had with them. Both Kaien and Zero, though the love they held for Yuuki was _very_ different in nature, were in too deep to back out. Kaien had been lost the moment he saw the adorable child.  

He pushed his sad thoughts away and settled down with his “children” to eat. Where there would usually be idle chatter, there was none. Both of his charges seemed lost in thought; still, Kaien kept up a steady stream of nonsensical, one-sided conversation.

After breakfast, Yuuki disappeared as she always did this time of year. But unlike every year before, Zero did not follow her. He stayed at the dinner table, wearing an extremely worried expression in his lavender eyes. Kaien tilted his head and waited for the young man to stay something.

“Headmaster,” he was not disappointed, “do you know anything of Yuuki’s past?” Zero watched the man closely, but if he knew anything his body gave nothing away. Kaien looked down into his coffee mug.

“I know as much now as I knew back then, Zero,” he answered cryptically; technically, he was not lying. He knew no more now than he had the night Juri and Haruka perished. Kaien knew that Zero would take his answer as meaning he knew nothing; when in reality, Kaien knew nearly everything. What he hadn’t known of that night, Kaname had graciously filled in the blanks. Zero sighed. “Why do you ask?” Kaien distracted him before he could think on his answer. The silver headed boy’s brows furrowed.

“Yuuki perfectly described the way thirst feels to me last night…as if she were personally feeling it.” Kaien’s heart skipped a fearful beat; his head snapped up from the mug. Zero, surprisingly, did not notice the Headmaster’s reaction. He was too lost in his own thoughts to hear the increase in Kaien’s heart rate.

The question dangled from Zero’s tongue, but he couldn’t speak it. Common sense raged against the question. As a hunter, he would have been able to sense it if she were a vampire. As a fellow Level D—disgust vibrated down his spine—he would have recognized her. He frowned.

“Maybe,” the Headmaster’s voice pulled him back out of his thoughts, “by watching you suffer, her subconscious mind got a vague idea of what the thirst was.” Zero blinked. He hadn’t thought about it that way.

“It…is possible,” he admitted, but he was reluctant to believe it. His gut was telling him not to let this go. That this was important.

Kaien sensed a close on the conversation. His stomach dropped as the realization that Zero wasn’t going to let this go sank in. He sighed.

“Don’t go getting any strange ideas in your head, Zero,” Kaien warned in his usually cheerful manner—as if nothing about this bothered him, as if it were a normal everyday conversation.

X

            In a way, Yuuki couldn’t believe that she had never noticed Kaien’s past a hunter. If only one were to look close enough at the school, the signs were all there. The gym was practically a gymnast’s wet dream; it was equipped with balance beams, parallel bars, pommel horses, vaults, horizontal bars, rings, and the uneven parallel bars. (The Headmaster had made certain that Yuuki could do them all. He gave Zero the choice to participate.) The basement of the school contained more dangerous, more frowned upon things. Students were allowed down. Well, most students. It was here that the prefect students trained. In the first room was the shooting range; the second, across from the shooting range, was a room tailored especially for scythe, sword, or boa users.

            It was in this room that Yuuki stood now. She had changed into a pair of sneakers, a pair of sweatpants, and a thickly strapped tank top. She was working at pulling her hair up as she looked around the room.

The room itself was bare and white. The challenges lay in hidden panels the same color of white as the large tiles. Wooden beams dropped from the ceiling, beams swung from the walls and hard tennis balls were launched from the slots in the walls, surprise holes opened up in the floor, pillars exploded from the floor; the Headmaster had created a top notch training facility fit for superheroes or…in their case…vampires and hunters.

            Yuuki stepped up to the panel mounted by the door. There were two modes to the training room: avoidance and weapons training. She selected avoidance and entered in her settings. Zero was at a ten: the fastest the course allowed you to go; Yuuki usually was at an eight, but today she was going to try and beat that by setting it at nine. She needed the challenge; she needed the distraction of screaming muscles and future bruises. She just…needed _not_ _to think,_ not to ponder on her nightmares, or wallow in her doubts _._

            She pressed the button that started the machines behind her. Long wooden bars dropped from the ceiling; they swung back and forth like a pendulum at brisk pace. Yuuki took a deep breath and dove between the first two. The third was swinging down before she fully straightened; she rolled out of the way and weaved to avoid the fourth. A startled gasp escaped her lips at a hole opened up right where her foot tapped down; she shoved away from the opening just in time, but didn’t avoid the pillar that shot up at an angle from the edge of the course. It rammed into her side and sent her sprawling. Instantly, the course stopped. She hissed and stood up gingerly, poking at her ribs the entire way. She knew nothing was broken, but god it hurt.

The current score 0 to 1 glowed up at her in green numbers when she approached the panel again. A frowny face rested beside the numbers. Yuuki rolled her eyes at the headmaster. The suggestion to try again glowed underneath it. Yuuki tapped yes. Immediately, the course started up again behind her.

Each time the course was beaten, the positions of the obstacles would move and pick up speed. Yuuki’s usual score at eight was 4 to 1. If it had been 5 to 0, the Headmaster would have already bumped her up to eight. She knew he would frown on her trying level nine when she hadn’t even beaten level eight, but he wasn’t here. So, she didn’t care. She _needed_ this.

Yuuki could try to beat the machine a total of five times before it stopped completely. It would only shut down for her; Zero could come in and use it behind her, but she couldn’t try again until the next day. She needed to make each one count.    

            She weaved, jumped, dodged, and rolled. The only thoughts that moved through her head were how to better get through the course. Nothing happened…until she reached the edge of the course.

            Long tendrils of whips shot out from the walls, striking out toward her and curling back inward. She ducked the first one, but something happened as the second swung toward her. Logically, she knew that the whip was made up of mechanical joints wrapped in treated, black leather, but in that moment…all she saw was deep red. _‘Blood…’_ Whips arching toward her. She could hear a slight gurgling in her ears and a dark laugh. Her heart leapt into her throat; the sudden urge to get away, to _run,_ filled her. Her freeze had cost her precious seconds. She shifted her foot back, intending fully to launch away from it, but the whip caught her smartly across the chest and pinned her quite smoothly to the wall. Just like before, the machine powered down. The delusion vanished slowly as the mechanical whip clicked back into the wall. Yuuki, frightened and shaking, sank to the floor without it pinning her up. She was vaguely aware that she was hyperventilating, that she would pass out if she didn’t calm down, but she couldn’t slow her breathing. _‘That’s why it’s called panicking.’_

            She tried…she really tried to encourage herself to stop and focus on breathing correctly, but…

The lights around her suddenly dimmed. It was dark. So dark. And she was scared. More frightened than she had ever been. A woman suddenly appeared in her line of vision. She was beautiful. That much Yuuki could see even through the darkness, but for some reason Yuuki couldn’t see her eyes. A kind smile stretched across her full lips…lips that were moving, forming words Yuuki couldn’t hear. And then…blood. It leaked from an invisible wound near her hairline and dyed her already reddish hair a deeper red. Yuuki watched in complete horror as it spread down her forehead and trickled around her nose. Before Yuuki could even scream, the darkness around the woman spread. She slumped back against the wall in a faint. Gravity eventually pulled her down to lay on her side.

**X**

The first thing Yuuki became aware of was the throbbing in her head. As she came to, that throbbing morphed into harsh pounding. A quiet whimper escaped her lips at the pain as she sat up. The moment she was upright, nausea threatened to send her back down. She leaned against the wall again and focused on breathing slowly. While the nausea did pass, the headache seemed to worsen. She rubbed at her temple as she slowly stood up.

She didn’t know how long she had been unconscious; she wasn’t completely certain that the Headmaster and Zero weren’t out there looking for her now, but at the moment the only thing that concerned her was her splitting headache. She didn’t bother changing back into her clothes completely; she simply shrugged her sweater on over the tank top and gathered the rest underneath her arm.

She walked slowly down the hall and grasped the railing that lead upstairs tightly just in case. It wasn’t until she exited the main building that she realized just how late it was. She had left the Headmaster’s around lunch and had stayed gone well past dinner. She frowned, but couldn’t find it in herself right now to be truly remorseful.

When she stumbled into the house, the Headmaster had the phone at his ear. His eyes widened when he saw her. Before waiting to see if anyone picked up, he dropped the phone back onto the hook and rushed to her.

“Yuuki!” He cried out loudly; Yuuki flinched at the loud noise and recoiled slightly. She didn’t move this time as the Headmaster engulfed her in a hug. “I was just about to call Kaname!”

“Why?” Yuuki whispered against his shoulder. His arm was hurting her side, but she wasn’t going to push him off. The warmth of his shoulder felt good against her aching head. Yuuki fought off a whimper when he moved back.

“You’ve been gone for hours!” He cried. “I thought something had happen--” It was then that he got a good look at the girl he thought of as his own. Her face was pasty white and a slight sweat had broken out on her forehead. She looked just as unsteady on her feet as a newborn fawn. Worry slammed into him harder than it had when Zero came back without her hours earlier. Gently, he grasped her arms and led her back to the couch so that she could sit. She didn’t even fight him. At the movement, however, green broke out over her top lip.

“Where have you been?” He asked gently. If she’d been outside in the cold, it would explain her current state, but she didn’t feel any colder than Zero did when he came in from the stables. He furrowed his brows.

“I was in the training room,” she muttered as she gingerly laid her head back against the top of the couch. “I must have lost track of time…” Yuuki closed her eyes. The pain in her head was threatening to make her eyes cross.

“Have you been feeling bad?” She had seemed fine at breakfast this morning; well, she had been a little down, but that was normal this time of year.

“It’s just a headache…” Yuuki whispered as if a sound louder than a whisper would cause her more pain.

“ _Just_ a headache?” Kaien gaped. She looked about ready to collapse.

“Have you found her?!” Zero shouted as he blew in through the door. Yuuki flinched at the sudden noise and seemed to whimper as the door slammed behind him. Zero froze at the pain-filled noise. “Yuuki?” He whispered. “What’s wrong with her?” He demanded of the Headmaster without looking. His eyes scanned her over quickly.

“Just a headache,” Yuuki slurred without picking her head up. Zero shared an incredulous look with Kaien. He had insight Kaien did not; he could hear the racing of her heart and see the fluttering of her pulse. She looked and sounded inches from passing out.

“Zero, go get the Tylenol from the medicine cabinet,” Kaien whispered to the young man. Zero nodded and immediately moved to do as he was asked. “I’ll go make you some soup,” Kaien told her as he pushed out of his kneeling position. Yuuki muttered a quiet thanks, but that was the only reaction he got out of her. He worried the inside of his cheek as he moved toward the kitchen.

Zero came back as the Headmaster left. “Here,” he called Yuuki’s attention gently. She lifted her head up and took the pills from him gratefully. He handed her the glass of water next and watched her swallow it down. He startled when she grabbed his arm and pulled him down onto the couch beside her. Before his bottom had fully hit the seat, she was fitting her head neatly in the crook of his neck. She gave a quiet sigh as his warmth surrounded her forehead. “Yuuki?” Zero muttered, shocked.

“You’re warm. It helps my head…” She grouched and as if to prove her point she wiggled her head deeper into the crook. He felt her eyelashes fluttering against his throat as she closed her eyes; her soft breathing ghosted over his collarbone. He swallowed and wondered once again just what he was to Yuuki, but that wondering didn’t last long. Worry for her quickly took its place.

Even when she had gotten the flu that one year, he had never seen her like this. He didn’t think headaches were supposed to make you act this way. Yuuki wouldn’t usually curl up beside him like this; she wouldn’t be so forward. The only time she was like this was when she was sick. Bad sick. He furrowed his brows.

“How bad is it on a scale of one to ten?” He asked as he brought his arm up around her shoulders so that she would be more comfortable.

“Twenty,” she muttered from around a curtain of hair. “Now, shut up.” She tacked on at the end. He couldn’t stop the slight curl of his lips as he did as she demanded and quieted.

Zero knew the precise moment she fell asleep. Her breathing evened out and her heart rate evened. Even though his arm was about to fall asleep, he didn’t want to move. He reasoned that she needed it, that sleep would give her a brief reprieve from the headache.

It wasn’t until his arm was thoroughly asleep and she was shivering on the couch that he decided to move her. Very gently, very slowly, he twisted and slipped her head better in the crook of his neck. He stood up slowly, careful to keep her head where it was, and tugged his hands underneath her knees. He lifted her from the couch. She gave a quiet noise of protest, but she stayed asleep. Zero let out a quiet sigh of relief and started walking as gently as he could.

Kaien watched him leave from the kitchen; he saw the way Zero held her so tenderly and his heart ached for him. He covered Yuuki’s finished soup and tucked it in the microwave for later. He wiped his hands off on his apron and approached the phone again. He lifted it and dialed the same number he had earlier.

A servant at one of the many vacation houses the Aido family had picked up at the third ring. She sounded out of breathe and hassled as she said _“hello?”_

“This is Kaien Cross. I’m calling for Kaname Kuran-sama. Tell him it’s about Yuuki….”

_“Please wait a moment while I get him,”_ the servant vampire breathed. Kaien heard the shuffling as the phone was shifted to the tabletop and the dull thump as it met the wood.

**X**

            Kaname sat on the couch, reading a book while the nobles around him conversed between themselves. He could hear Ichijou and Rima playing some sort of game while Aido and Ruka bickered in the corner over something. Kain reclined on the couch opposite him; more than likely he was debating when to break up the argument happening between Aido and Ruka.

            They all froze when they heard hurrying steps coming down the corridor. A frazzled looking vampire with hay colored hair and green eyes peaked around the corner. She took a moment to catch her breathe before saying:

            “There’s a call for you, Kaname-sama. He says his name is Kaien Cross and that it’s about someone called Yuuki.” The servant girl startled as wind broke her hair from the tight bun. She stood blinking at the couch Kaname had occupied before, its cushion empty except for the closed book he had been reading.

            Kaname picked the phone up and said, “This had better not be a joke, Kaien.”

            _“It’s not, it’s not,”_ Kaien promised. Kaname could tell simply by the worried tint in his voice; a stone dropped in his stomach. He swallowed.

            “What is it?” He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. In the seconds it took Kaien to form his thoughts, Kaname went through a thousand scenarios. He swallowed.

            _“She vanished for a few hours; she says that she was in the training room….but when she came back, she was pasty white; her eyes were glassy; and she could hardly stand on her feet. Yuuki said that it was simply a headache, but…”_ Kaien seemed to hesitate. Kaname furrowed his brows.

            “But what?” He encouraged.

            _“Zero brought up something to me that concerns me. He says that Yuuki described the thirst perfectly to him last night.”_ Kaname’s heart gave a slight skip. _“I know as well as you do that no one could describe the thirst that perfectly unless they had felt it. There’s just no comprehending it for a human.”_

            “Thank you for telling me this, Kaien.” Kaname knew what it cost him. Each time Kaien gave him information about her, he knew that the former hunter worried tonight would be the night that he took her from him. Each time, it was tempting to do so, but he refrained for her. “Is there anything else?”

            _“It’s made Zero very suspicious. You may come under some scrutiny when you return.”_

            “I was preparing for that anyway,” Kaname said drily. Kaien chuckled.

_“Yes. Well.”_ There was a slight silence on the line. Kaname could hear all of the questions that Kaien dared not ask.

            “I can’t do anything about a headache, Kaien. I’m sorry my dear girl is hurting, but there is nothing I can do for her…” He wished there was. He wished his lips could erase aches that existed on the inside just as easily as they did surface wounds; if that were so, Yuuki would never hurt again so as long as he could kiss her.

_“And you won’t…”_ Kaien trailed off as if the very question scared him, but Kaname didn’t have to read his mind to know what that question would be. _‘And you won’t come for her tonight? You won’t take her from me? Tonight’s not the night?’_ Kaname gave a small dark smile. He smiled not out of amusement, but out of sympathy and pain. There was no way this situation would end painlessly. He would have to take Yuuki from the man who raised her and the boy who loved her; in doing that, it would hurt her as well.  

            “I won’t,” he promised in a sigh. No matter how much he wanted to whisk her away from her little sandbox, he wouldn’t. Not yet.

            _“Thank you,”_ Kaien’s words were packed with gratefulness. Kaname nodded even though the man could not see him.

            “Goodnight, Kaien.”

            _“Goodnight, Kaname.”_

            Kaien was unaware of the audience he had had during the phone call. Zero had been coming downstairs to refill Yuuki’s glass, but the conversation he had overheard between Kaname and Kaien had frozen him. He leaned against the wall, thoroughly confused and shocked by what he had heard.

 


	3. Slipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In light of the conversation Zero overheard, he tries to find anomalies in Yuuki’s being. While studying her, he neglects himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

Zero walked back down the hall slowly. Because of his nature, he had been able to hear both sides of the conversation and what he had heard circled in his head as he walked slowly down the hall.

_“I know as well as you do that no one could describe the thirst that perfectly unless they had felt it. There’s just no comprehending it for a human.”_ Sure, Zero had wondered that too, but…the Headmaster had sounded so sure…he didn’t sound curious as to how she would have known. He just sounded concerned. Zero’s lips pulled down in a deep frown.

_“It’s made Zero very suspicious. You may come under some scrutiny when you return.”_ The Headmaster had gone out of his way to warn Kuran, to tell him that he was becoming suspicious. That meant…Zero had a reason to be. He rolled his jaw. That meant…the Headmaster had lied to him this morning. He had been purposely cryptic to throw him off from his line of questioning. Kaien knew something of Yuuki’s past, but for some reason he was keeping it to himself; he was keeping it from everyone but Kuran. Zero had noticed that Kuran was the first one the Headmaster ran to when something was going on with Yuuki. The Headmaster had passed it off as Yuuki listening to him better, but…what if it was something else?

_‘It never made sense for Kuran to have been out in the snow with her. Not even to her.’_ Zero stopped in front of Yuuki’s room and leaned against the door. _‘Yuuki had confessed to me one night that she hadn’t been able to see any smoke that would indicate houses. Where she had woken up was dark, the only light had been the moon. And somehow, that vampire had found her and seconds later, so had Kuran. It’s possible that Kuran had been following the Level E, but...it doesn’t make sense for him to just follow one. Yuuki had said that the Level E was completely capable of speech, meaning he had recently fallen. He would have been on some hunter’s hit list. Kuran would have known that.’_ Zero felt as though he had been going around in circles. He wasn’t like Yuuki; he didn’t believe Kuran had been passing by and out of the goodness of his heart decided to save her. He hadn’t believed that even before he overheard that conversation. Purebloods never did anything that wouldn’t profit them. Kuran was no different despite what Yuuki thought. _‘Yuuki was someone to him before she woke up in the snow.’_ It had been a suspicion that Zero had had many times before, but now…it felt more concrete and it shook his world just a little harder.

_‘But who was she? Was she a pet?’_ He burned in rage at the very thought, but he grudgingly dismissed it. _‘Kuran has proven that he does care about her. He’s never bitten her…not…not like I have.’_ Sickness and rage hammered him in spades. _‘If he were truly wanting her as his pet, he would have locked her away instead of taking her to the Headmaster. He wouldn’t abstain from taking her blood. He would have fed from her damn the consequences on her. So…if not a pet, who was she? Why did he go out of his way to save her? Why does he only treat her with such reverence?’_ Zero didn’t know the answer to any of these questions. He couldn’t even begin to think of them. He sighed and thunked his head back onto the door.

_“There’s just no comprehending it for a human.” ‘That’s what the Headmaster said. Then…does that mean Yuuki isn’t human? But how could she not be? Her blood…tastes undeniably human.’_ The memory of her taste caused a sharp stab of hunger to pass through him. He gripped the doorknob tight as he fought against the wave. In the reflection of the picture frame across from him, he could see his eyes glowing an eerie red. Before Zero was even aware of it, he had stepped into Yuuki’s room. His red eyes were locked on the prominent vein in her neck. On either side, he could see the faint scar that his initial bite had left on her. It made his eyes burn brighter; a part of him whispered that he make it darker, make it real. He moved closer to her bed and raised his hand to brush the few hairs off of her neck.

She gave a quiet moan and rolled over. Her hair fell across her neck, making a convenient curtain to hide her pulse from his eyes. It was surprisingly enough for him to regain control over himself. He grimaced and bit deeply into his bottom lip. After a few grueling seconds, the pain passed. All the while, Yuuki was still asleep. She had turned to face him. Her innocent face still held traces of the pain she had felt earlier. Shame filled him. His earlier thoughts of looking for signs she was something other than human vanished in the wake of his self-hate. He bowed his head and clenched his fists. His nails broke through the skin of his hand as he raised back up jerkily.

She shivered and snuggled deeper into her blanket as Zero stirred up cold air in his departure.

X

_Yuuki sat on a comfortable white couch, surrounded by warmth. She closed the thick book she had been reading and set it on the coffee table across from her. She resigned herself to looking around since the book didn’t give her the entertainment she wanted. She jumped as she saw a woman on one side. Her eyes were a blank space underneath her bangs. Her lips were peeled back into a smile. She seemed to be saying something, but Yuuki couldn’t read her lips or hear her. Her attention seemed to be focused somewhere just over Yuuki’s head. She looked to follow the woman’s line of “sight” and saw a man. His eyes were also hidden from her. She sighed. He laughed at whatever the woman had said. A sense of loss knocked Yuuki’s breathe from her. She found that she wanted to hear this man’s laughter; she wanted to hear this woman’s voice. She wanted to see their eyes. Her eyes prickled with tears. She swallowed and looked up toward the elaborate ceiling. Before the loss could swallow her, the door to the room opened. Her eyes bounced back to the door and her breathe caught in her chest._

_Kaname Kuran stood at the doorway in all his glory. He was dressed in that pale double button-up trench coat and a pair of dark brown khakis. She could see his cream colored button up peeking from the opening. He was giving her such a gentle smile. Her heart gave a small skip at the familiar sight._

_“Kaname,” she breathed. “Welcome home,” the words came out of her mouth automatically and—while she knew it was her voice speaking them—they didn’t feel like her own. She wouldn’t have said that. She blushed. “I---I mean um…” She tried to cover._

_“I’m glad to be back, Yuuki,” he said warmly, cutting off her awkward stuttering. She looked back up to him to see that smile still in place. Her heart hammered as he walked toward her. It wasn’t just her nerves around him; it was the strangeness of this situation. Who were these people sitting beside her? Why did she say ‘welcome home’ to Kaname? Was this his home? Why was she in it? Why did she feel so comfortable on this couch? Why did this room feel so familiar? “Where has your mind wandered, my dear girl?” He was standing in front of her now, easing himself down onto the couch. She parted her lips slightly as she tried to form the words, the questions. He leaned closer to her, “were you thinking of me?” he teased. Her eyes widened; a blush spread over her cheeks._

_“Wha-? No! Well, kinda…” She stuttered. Yuuki shook away her embarrassment and looked him the eye, “where am I, Kaname?”_

_“Silly girl,” he reached out and brushed her cheek as he had a thousand times before with his fingertips, “you’re home.” She was distracted for a moment by the way he slid his fingertips down to her chin before going along her jaw and jumping her cheek with his hand._

_“Yeah,” Yuuki muttered; her lips tingled from where they brushed his palm, but she continued despite it. “You’ve already said that. But where is home?” Before he could answer, there was a flash of a large white house with dark wood paneled windows. The roof of the house was covered in snow. It was a blurry image, as if she hadn’t been fully awake when she saw the house, but she knew it was true._

_“Yuuki.” She looked up at Kaname, thinking it was him voicing her name, but he was still giving her that same look. He was looking at her as if he had no answer. It would make sense that he had no answer to give her; he was, after all, a figment of her dreams. No matter how real he looked, sounded, and felt, it wasn’t really Kaname; it was merely a shade of him. She marveled at the utter closeness to the Kaname of her waking hours. She had even cataloged the small things. ‘Do I really look at him so much that I’ve memorized his face?’_

_“Yuuki.” She pulled her attention away from Kaname to the man sitting in the armchair across from them. His lips hadn’t moved and he didn’t seem to be looking at her. It was a man’s voice calling her._

_“Yuuki.” She looked around the room, bewildered. ‘Who’s calling me?’_

_“Yuuki.” A frightening flash of two differently colored eyes—one red like Kaname’s and one blue like Shiki’s—flashed in front of her eyes. His lips curled in a dark smile before the beginnings of an evil laugh erupted from his lips._ Fear caused her to jerk awake; she recoiled away from the touch on her shoulder. Before she was fully aware, her hand had curled around Artemis. She brought it with her into the corner. With an even sharper pang of fear, she realized she could see. The room was blurry. She blinked twice in the direction the touch had been. Something warm and wet dripped down her cheek. She reached up and dabbed at her cheek. She was crying. She blinked. More tears broke free of her eyelashes. As she cleared the tears from her eyes, she saw Zero. His hand was still in the air; he slowly lowered it to the bedspread. Horror filled her as she realized she had Artemis rod extended; the base of it was just underneath his chin.

“Zero!” She gasped as she jerked it away from him and tossed it onto the end of her bed. “I’m so sorry!” She apologized. Zero stared at her closely. Yuuki clamored closer to him on his hands and knees; she bent and peered underneath his chin, trying to see if she had hurt him. Zero gave a quiet chuckle and pressed his hands to her shoulders; gently, he pushed her back.

“I’m fine,” he reassured her. “You barely scrapped me.” He dropped his hands from her shoulders and moved back off the bed. He stood at her bedside. She craned her neck so that she could look in his eyes.

“You’re sure?” She asked. He nodded. She rolled her lips together and bit into her bottom lip just a little before she glanced back up at him. “Um…” Yuuki muttered, “Is there something you need?”

“The Headmaster wanted me to come check on you. Dinner will be ready soon….He wanted to know if you were well enough to eat.” Yuuki smiled slightly. She could tell by the way he spoke and the worry in his eyes that the headmaster wasn’t the only one concerned.

“I am kind of peckish,” she lied to reassure him as she got off the bed. She smiled. “I’ll be down in a minute.” She hinted. Zero stared at her for a few, long minutes before he conceded and moved toward the door.

Zero worried his cheek as he walked down the stairs. His mind was stuck on Yuuki’s reaction. She had been fine; she hadn’t been afraid until he had touched her. The moment his hand touched her shoulder she had jerked away so violently, moved so quickly, that it had startled him. Before he could even blink, she’d had Artemis underneath his chin, grazing his flesh. He raised his hand and poked gingerly around the slight burn underneath his chin. She slept with Artemis underneath her pillow. She was so frightened by whatever she had seen in her dreams… _had been_ seeing in her dreams…that she would sleep with Artemis underneath her pillow even in the Headmaster’s home.

Yuuki knew the Headmaster was a hunter, that he had been one of the best. She had overheard him confronting the Headmaster when he found out about his past. Why would he talk about peace between humans and vampires when long ago, he was one of the best hunters in the association? He knew what vampires were capable of. Why would he condone having them around humans? This was the arguments Zero had brought to the table while Yuuki sat at the table with them. At the time, he had thought Yuuki already knew. That her knowledge was the reason she felt so safe here. He had been wrong.

_‘But she knows now,’_ he thought as he walked into the kitchen. _‘Nothing will make it past the Headmaster and if something does manage to, it won’t make it past me. Yuuki is safe here…But she clearly no longer feels that way. Why? When she was younger, she believed nothing would harm her here. What changed?’_ He frowned. _‘Was it me? Did she find out about me and start fearing for herself?’_ He hated the idea, but he knew it was logical. After all, out of all the threats in her life, he was the greatest. A part of him railed against those thoughts. It screamed that this was Yuuki; she would never fear him. The logical part of him, however, disagreed. _‘Drinking blood is an intimate thing,’_ he thought. _‘It allows a vampire to see into the thoughts and taste the emotions of their victims. Yuuki rarely thinks of me, but her mind does wander from time to time. She worries for me and she fears for me, but I have never sensed that she was afraid of me. While her lips can lie to me, her blood cannot. If not me, then who or what does she fear? What could put such a horrible look on her face?’_

“Zero?” Kaien brought him out of his thoughts. He glanced up. The moment his eyes locked on Kaien, the conversation he had overheard came rushing back. He frowned and looked away from him. Zero wasn’t going to deny his anger or his disgust. The Headmaster was keeping something from Yuuki and him. He had deliberately redirected him when he’d asked; and, most heinous in Zero’s mind, he watched Yuuki suffer every winter with the lack of knowledge. Whatever respect Zero held for the man withered a little further with the knowledge.

Kaien shrunk away from Zero’s heated glare. “Ne, Zero-kun, what’s that awful look for?” He whined as he moved away from the young man’s dangerous aura. Zero sniffed and looked away from the older man. The Headmaster tilted his head, thoroughly confused by the young man’s behavior. Before he could fully think on it, Yuuki came into the room. He brightened instantly with a happy shout of her name.

X

Zero took the time to study her at dinner. First, he took in her features. Hers was a face he looked at multiple times a day; he had it memorized by now. So, his first thought wasn’t earth-shattered and it didn’t reveal anything he didn’t already know. And that was quiet simply one fact: Yuuki was beautiful. But there were things that struck him as odd now that he thought of them.

Yuuki, in all the time he had known her, had never had a single blemish. She’d burned in the sun, of course, but she’d never had acne or even a freckle. Aside from that, Yuuki was beautiful with her wide doe-like eyes, her straight nose, and her full, pink lips. All of this was framed by a heart-shaped face. Her hair was thick, soft, and straight; it never seemed to look flat. Even frazzled Yuuki still managed to look beautiful. _‘But maybe I am biased,’_ Zero realized. To him, Yuuki would be beautiful no matter what. Other girls paled in comparison. Even Ruka of the Night Class held little appeal to him compared to her. So, right now, her looks weren’t much for him to go on. He moved past her face to look at her hands.

Despite their hard work and rigorous training, her hands never calloused. Yes, they were scarred in places from deep cuts, but even those scars were smooth. Her nails were cut close to her fingertips. She kept them short to avoid breakage; but, in the few times she had left them to grow, her nails had been sharper than average. He frowned and remembered his own nails. They were just as tough as Yuuki’s, so he hadn’t thought anything on it. He hadn’t realized that it was abnormal, but he had also been thinking of himself as human. But the harsh reality was, he wasn’t human. His nails were stronger than an average human’s. Which meant…Yuuki’s nails were also abnormal. But the strength of her nails didn’t seem enough to get any more suspicious over. Nail strength varied from person to person.

His eyes moved slowly over her, looking for signs. When he reached her neck, his eyes fixed on that scar his teeth had left. He could remember the rate at which it had healed because he had focused on it a lot after he had done it. He had felt such guilt over it that he hadn’t been able to look away. He had been so worried that it would get infected or something. When he tracked the days it had taken for it to heal, he was reassured slightly. She hadn’t healed any faster than a normal human. His gaze jerked as Yuuki shifted.  

“Um….Zero?” She muttered quietly, careful not to get the Headmaster’s attention. Zero blinked and looked up at her face, meeting her eyes. “Are you, you know, thirsty?” The question caused his heart to drop and a certain sickness to swirl in his stomach. He shook his head and looked back down into his bowl. Yuuki chewed her bottom lip; Zero watched as the blood rushed up to the surface. He was unaware that his eyes had turned red until he heard Yuuki’s breathe catch. “Zero,” Yuuki whispered sharply. He blinked and the red vanished for a moment.

Zero could see the wheels turning in Yuuki’s mind. He knew that she was trying to figure out a way to get him away from the dinner table without the Headmaster getting suspicious. She looked away from him and his eerie red eyes to the Headmaster. Suddenly, Kaien stood up with flourish and exclaimed:

“Oh! I forgot the sauce!” He was referring to the soy sauce that he uses on his rice. Yuuki seized the opportunity and drug Zero up from the table; the young man gave a quiet noise of protest, but he followed easily enough. She pulled him quickly into the closet in the foyer. Both knew the Headmaster wouldn’t look for them there. She shoved him inside before following and closing the door quickly behind her.

Kaien turned back toward the table with a small sigh and set the sauce down on the table. He sank down into his seat and put his head in his hands. Kaien wasn’t daft to Zero’s issues; he also wasn’t oblivious to the fact that Yuuki was letting him feed from her. He supposed he should stop her. If he were still a hunter, he would be obligated by duty to do so; but there was a conflict of interest here. He knew and loved Zero like his own son even if the boy did sometimes make it difficult to show it. He didn’t know him to fall to Level E, but Yuuki’s blood could only sustain him for so long. That brought him to another matter. Yuuki. His little girl couldn’t keep letting him drink her blood. There would come a time when Zero found himself unable to stop. When that happened, one of them would have to put down Zero. Thinking realistically, Kaien knew it would be Kaname to put him down. There wouldn’t be a soul in the world that would keep Kaname from exacting his vengeance.

The moment they were in such a tight space, Zero’s thirst made him bow. “Hang on, Zero,” Yuuki plead as she shrugged her sweater off from over her head to bare her neck to him. The moment the skin was exposed, Zero was on her. His fangs sank into her neck roughly, causing her to cry out quickly. Zero reached up with his free hand and covered her mouth.

_‘He’s being really rough,’_ she complained mentally as tears gathered in her eyes _. ‘How long has he gone without feeding?’_ Yuuki asked herself as she brought her hands up to his shoulders. She grasped his shirt tightly against the pain. She opened her eyes slowly and looked up toward the ceiling. Her eyes fixed on the still light as she tried to focus on something other than the pain. Unwillingly, her mind went back to the dream she’d had. As Zero drank from her, she dissected the dream.

When she reached the memory, she pondered on it. She didn’t really know if it was a memory, but there was this feeling that it was. That beautiful house felt familiar to her, but it didn’t elicit any emotions out of her like that bare room had. It was as if she had never seen it but in that quick glimpse. _‘It couldn’t hurt to see if that place was real, but where would I start?_ ’ She wondered. _‘It’s not like I have a picture of it. I don’t even know if that place exists anymore.’_

Her thoughts were brought to a screeching halt as Zero grasped her tighter and bit deeper. Pain lanced from her neck down her shoulder. It was only now that she noticed how much blood she had lost. “Zero!” She cried out to the best of her ability around his hand. He tightened his fingers around her cheeks as if to muffle the noise. Yuuki cried out and tried to wiggle away from him, but his arms were wrapped so tightly around her waist that she couldn’t get away. It only made her fight harder. She brought her hands up and pushed hard against his chest. He budged only a little, but he managed to pull himself back. She screamed as he bit down even deeper; she felt her skin tear underneath his teeth. “Zero! Stop! No!” She yelped as she began to beat his chest. She hit him as hard as she could in the center of his chest. Finally, he recoiled, but it was clear that it wasn’t of his own choosing. His body slammed back into the wall of the closet. Yuuki heaved herself against the opposite wall, holding her throat with her hand. She was aware of the tears streaming down her cheeks. She stared at Zero; his glowing red eyes stared back at her. He acted as though he was going to move toward her. She jerked up one of the storage boxes on the shelf and flung it at him. “Snap out of it, you idiot!” She screamed as she threw another one. The force of the boxes, filled with various knickknacks and other things, knocked him back each time. Yuuki screamed again, “SNAP OUT OF IT!”

Kaien jerked away from the table as his mind registered the scream. Before his chair even hit the floor, he was out into the foyer. He lunged for the doorknob and what he found when he threw open the door caused his breathe to freeze in his lungs. Yuuki was slumped against the wall, holding her steadily bleeding neck. Blood had stained her tank top and moved down to her stomach. It didn’t take much thought to figure out what had happened. Yuuki rushed toward him the moment the door was opened. Zero, however, was faster. He grabbed ahold of her and, promptly, sank his teeth into her again. Yuuki cried out along with Kaien. The former hunter immediately launched into action and tore Zero free from her and jerked Yuuki behind him. She could hardly stand and had to resort to clinging to his back. He reached back and steadied her with one hand.

“Zero!” He boomed. “STOP!” Zero’s body seemed to be at war. In fact, he seemed to be fighting every step forward his body took. Kaien backed up with Yuuki, keeping distance.

“Head…master…” Kaien heard Yuuki whisper; he felt her fingers tighten around his shirt and then abruptly loosen. Kaien’s heart skipped. He felt her knees brush the back of his jeans. Kaien disregarded Zero to catch her before she could hit the ground. He caught her in his arms and immediately moved her hair to search for a pulse; despite this distraction, this panic, his senses remained aware of Zero’s movements. There was a loud thump. Kaien gathered his young girl in his arms and cradled her to his chest. He turned back to check on Zero.

He had slammed himself back into the wall in a desperate effort to keep from getting to her again. The thump the Headmaster had heard was the sound of Zero’s head meeting the shelf behind him. The hard knock had brought the boy out of his blood-induced haze. Now he seemed to be frozen in horror; his eyes were locked on Yuuki’s slumped and pale frame. One hand was covering his mouth, palm up. His fingers splayed around his nose. The look of pain and pure self-hatred painted on his face was hard for the former hunter to look at. He looked away from the broken boy and walked up the stairs with his precious cargo. Yuuki stayed unconscious even as he maneuvered her up the stairs and into her bedroom. Gently, he laid her on to the bed and took this time to survey her.

The first pressing issue was the wound on her neck. It was still sluggishly bleeding. Kaien tilted her head to the side gently to better examine the wound and hissed sympathetically. “Zero was quite rough with you this time, wasn’t he, Yuuki?” He asked rhetorically; it was clear to anyone how violent this feeding had been. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint where the original bite marks. Trapped in his blood filled haze, Zero had bitten down hard enough to rip her skin. Kaien frowned. “What will the fallout from this be?” Kaien sighed as he stood up. Though he dreaded leaving her like this, he had to get the first aid kit from the library. As he walked down the hall, he closed his eyes and thought back to the wound.

If he didn’t do something, it would scar. The wound was so bad, so deep that it would still be obvious once classes started again. ‘Meaning…I won’t be able to hide it from Kaname.’ He pressed his hand to his forehead and sighed. “You really did it this time, Zero-kun,” he muttered. Of course, Kaien knew Zero knew that. The poor boy was probably beating himself up harder than the Pureblood ever could. Still, the Headmaster couldn’t find it in himself to feel deeply sorry for the boy; the part of him that thought of himself as Yuuki’s father raged against him; but the part of him that loved Zero was saddened and felt guilty. If he had seen the signs sooner than Yuuki, if he had slipped blood tablets into the boy’s drink like he had thought of doing many times…maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

X

Zero leaned against the wall, right where the headmaster had left him. His eyes peered unseeingly at a photo in front of the closet door. It was of Yuuki and Kaname, cruelly enough. Yuuki was staring up at the Pureblood, free of fear and filled with adoration. Kaname returned the look tenfold. Normally, he tried to avoid looking at this particular photo. It made him nauseated to see Yuuki gazing so adoring up at a vampire able to rip her throat out or control her every move within seconds; but now, he found he couldn’t look away. Kaname was no longer the largest danger to her. That was him. Zero. Bile scorched at the back of his throat.

He didn’t know what had happened. One minute, he was completely in control…and in that next second, he was lost it. He leaned his head back and looked up at the dusty bottom of the shelf unseeingly. He tried to search his mind for those seconds before he lost it. Yuuki had been thinking of something, a dream or a memory. Zero furrowed his brows. In those few seconds in between that lapse, her blood had tasted sweeter. Zero gasped as his throat twanged angrily at the memory of the taste. He wrapped a hand around his throat tightly and dug his nails in to the skin. The smell of his own blood overpowered the memory of Yuuki’s taste. Zero glanced back at the picture as confusion filled him. _‘Why would that memory make her blood sweeter?’_ He wondered. _‘It was just a house…a blurry house.’_

Zero focused on his confusion; he wasn’t ready to face Yuuki just yet. He wasn’t prepared to face the results of his lapse in control. He closed his eyes, but his eyes immediately snapped back open as Yuuki’s frightened scream of his name filled his mind. He didn’t remember much from the incident, but he could remember that last scream. His eyes watered. Zero gave an angry snort and raised his hand to cover his eyes. He pressed hard on his eyelids as if trying to shove the tears he felt gathering back in their ducts. The discomfort only made the tears fall. He bowed his head and covered his eyes with both hands. And for the first time in years, he cried. He cried until he couldn’t cry anymore; he cried until he was exhausted. Once he was completely spent, he collapsed back against the wall and stared.

He was empty of everything but this overwhelming sense of dread. The fallout from this loomed over him like an ominous shadow. The Headmaster was unpredictable. He could report the incident to the Association or he could report it to Kaname. Either way, Zero acknowledged he was dead; and, despite him being no coward, he knew which he would prefer. At least the Association would make it quick.

With a heavy sigh, Zero stood from the closet floor. It was time for him to face his painful reality. He would not hide from the consequences.

X

Kaname Kuran rested in the room prepared for him by the Aidou family. He lay with one leg bent at the knee and other stretched out. He raised a hand, palm up and facing the ceiling, to his forehead. He closed his eyes. This was, needlessly, one of the best room in the house, but Kaname had come to accept such treatment as being a part of his station. His station...the Last of the Kuran family, the strongest Pureblood….he felt suffocated by those titles. He tired easily of the adoring looks, the simpering nobles, and the factitious Senate members who wanted nothing more than to make him their puppet. It was made even more oppressing by the knowledge that he wasn’t the last Kuran. His sister was out there, living a happy little life away from all of the shackles; but, he noted with deep sadness, that her happy life was about to come crumbling down. The Headmaster’s conversation filtered back into the forefront of his mind again.

_“She vanished for a few hours; she says that she was in the training room….but when she came back, she was pasty white; her eyes were glassy; and she could hardly stand on her feet. Yuuki said that it was simply a headache, but…Zero brought up something to me that concerns me. He says that Yuuki described the thirst perfectly to him last night. I know as well as you do that no one could describe the thirst that perfectly unless they had felt it. There’s just no comprehending it for a human.”_

Behind his eyelids, Kaname saw Yuuki: safe, light, and happy; and then, he saw her as she was when he left the school: sheepish and embarrassed with something darker lingering around the edges of her eyes. That something darker had spoken to him loudly because he recognized it. For the darkness he saw there was mirrored in his own heart. The vampire inside Yuuki was wreaking havoc on the human. Unknowingly, Yuuki was expressing signs of vampirism, but it wasn’t enough of a sign for Kaname. He didn’t want to wreck the little sandbox so soon…not until he knew more. Were her memories surfacing? Was the spell Juri had sacrificed her life to create weakening?

He wasn’t ignoring that she knew of the thirst; he was taking that into account. He wasn’t ignoring the darkness he saw growing in her heart; he knew it wouldn’t be enough to truly change her. Yuuki would still be his light.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a timid tap against the door. He lifted his hand away from his forehead and opened his eyes. “Yes?”

“Kaname-sama, Kaien Cross is on the phone again.” He furrowed his brows and stood from the bed.

“Thank you. I will be there shortly.”

The little maid kept her eyes on the floor as Kaname stepped out of the room. She led him to the phone without a word. Once they reached it, she turned and curtsied to him. He nodded politely in return and smiled slightly as a small flush stole across her cheeks. She turned and walked away, back to whatever business she had been attending to whenever the phone had rang. Kaname waited until she was out of sight before he picked up the receiver.

“Kaname,” Kaien didn’t even wait for him to greet the man this time. Instantly, Kaname tensed. There was something wrong. He could hear it in the way the former hunter said his name. Kaien Cross was afraid and beyond worried. “Yuuki’s been hurt.” It was a short statement, but it had the power to get him moving. Kaname was gone from the hallway before the receiver clicked down onto the hook.

X

Kaien put the receiver back onto the wall mount. His entire body was numb. It was more than just his fear for his daughter but it was also his fear for Zero. Kaien knew Kaname would be able to tell what had caused the injuries, but he had been left with no choice. The bleeding wouldn’t stop. Zero must have severed an artery during his desperate feeding. Kaien took his glasses off and took the bridge of his nose between two fingers. He squeezed and let out a quiet sigh. He knew how Kaname would react…but he needed the Pureblood. Right now, the only thing that would save Yuuki would be Kaname’s healing abilities.

“Zero,” Kaien called, knowing the boy would hear him. “Leave Yuuki for a moment and come here. There are some things I need to discuss with you.” After a few seconds of waiting, Zero came down the stairs. Normally, his “meeting-the-executioner” walk would have amused Kaien, but he found nothing funny right now. Zero didn’t meet his eyes as he came to a stop in front of him. He kept his head bowed as he waited for the words he was certain Kaien was going to say. The Headmaster sighed. “I’ve known about what you and Yuuki were doing for a while now.” Zero’s head snapped up. Kaien could read the questions in his eyes. “I only let it continue because, no matter how hard you try to fight it, I do care for you as a son.” A small look of pain flitted over his face. Kaien continued, “I knew that if I brought it to your attention and Yuuki’s that I knew…she would only try to be sneakier about it, but I didn’t call you down here to talk about that. What I wanted to tell you was this: I called Kaname.” Zero showed no reaction, but Kaien saw acceptance move through his eyes. The Headmaster sighed. “I didn’t call him to exact punishment, Zero, though it would be in his right. I called him because I can’t stop the bleeding. During your…feeding…you must have severed an artery.” Zero’s face, already white, seemed to leech of all color. Kaien sighed. “Go back upstairs, take a shower, and change clothes.” Zero opened his mouth to protest; Kaien held up a hand. He wanted no argument in this. “Then take the clothes you are wearing and burn them outside. It would only agitate him further to see you covered in my daughter’s blood.”

Zero didn’t really care about Kuran’s sensibilities, but he moved do as the Headmaster said anyway. Just as he turned back toward the stairs, he heard Kaien say, “I’ll speak to you later about what happened this evening.” The young man didn’t understand how such a simple, lightly said statement could sound so threatening. What the Headmaster didn’t say floated in the air between them. They would talk if Kuran didn’t kill him first.

Kaien waited until Zero was fully up the stairs before he returned to Yuuki’s side. The blood had already leeched through the tightly wrapped bandage. Kaien unwound that one and replaced it with another, making certain it was it was tight against her neck, but not enough to choke her. He sat at her bedside, putting pressure on the artery. He knew Kaname would let himself in when he arrived. Yuuki was paler than she had been; after Zero’s feeding, she hadn’t had much to lose, but it was her stillness that worried him more than her pallor. Her breathing was shallow. Even after Kaname sealed the wound, they would need blood transfusions.

_‘I failed her,’_ Kaien grieved, _‘she trusted me to protect her and I have failed her. By allowing Zero to continue feeding from her, I constantly put her in danger. That which I feared came to pass. Zero lost himself even if only for a few seconds. He lost himself. And now my baby girl is paying the price.’_ Downstairs, he heard the front door open. He closed his eyes.

Kaname was here. 


	4. A Strangely Informative Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Kaname, Zero, and Kaien deal with the aftermath of Zero’s lapse in control, Yuuki must deal with an encounter unexplainable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

Yuuki was back in that bare room again…only this time she was alone. There were no smiling figures and no Kaname. She was by herself on that beautiful couch. _‘Alone,’_ Yuuki thought, looking up at the beautifully decorated ceiling. It wasn’t difficult for Yuuki to remember how much she hated the feeling. She had never had many friends, but she’d made certain that she was never completely alone. For the last ten years, she’d had Zero, Kaname, Yori, and the Headmaster to keep her fear of being alone at bay. It was a strange experience to be alone now. She tensed when she registered a quiet sob from behind the door. _‘Or maybe not so alone…’_ She realized as she stood from the couch and made her way to the door. The being inside continued to cry. _‘It sounds…like a child,’_ she realized. Recalling the Level E child that had been in town square, she reached automatically for Artemis. She brushed the thick fabric of her grey sweats. She sighed. ‘ _Right._ ’ She was still in her sweats and her tank top. This was a dream. _‘Whatever is beyond this door…I can’t control it.’_ With that thought in mind, she grasped the doorknob and opened it.

The little child inside gasped and jumped back against the wall. Yuuki blinked down at the girl who was barring her fangs defensively. The girl’s wide reddish brown eyes blinked back up at her. Yuuki’s lips fell open. It wasn’t hard for Yuuki to recognize the little girl. She had seen that tiny face in the mirror over a hundred times. The child huddled in the corner of the closet was herself. _‘But…why do I have fangs?’_ A look of confusion washed over the little girl’s face. She loosened her tense body and straightened up. Her mouth closed; her fangs went back into hiding. Yuuki crouched down in front of the girl and simply stared for a moment. _‘Is it simply an act of my subconscious? Am I channeling my recent thoughts of becoming a vampire onto the littler version of myself? No. That would be so messed up! I know if certain that I wouldn’t do that…So…what is this?’_ Yuuki was startled out of her thoughts by a touch on her chin. She blinked and brought the young child back into the focus. Child Yuuki lifted herself up onto her tiptoes and moved her hand upward to her lips.

“You are me,” the little girl acknowledged. Child Yuuki parted her lips with her tiny finger. Despite having a finger in her mouth, Yuuki’s eyes widened in shock. In all of the dreams she’d had, none of the figments had been able to talk to her like this. There was a sense of awareness about the young girl. It was as if she were really here with Yuuki instead of a figment of her imagination, but that was impossible. Yuuki was certain that she was asleep. “But you don’t have fangs,” she continued as she poked around in Yuuki’s mouth. Yuuki gently grasped the little girl’s wrist and guided it down between them. Child Yuuki tilted her head cutely and asked, “Why don’t you have fangs?”

“Because I’m human,” Yuuki answered. _‘Such a strange question from myself,’_ Yuuki thought. Child Yuuki pursed her lips. A look of pure confusion swept across her pretty face. Yuuki once again noticed the tears on her cheeks. “Why were you crying? Did something happen?” At the question, the little girl furrowed her brows. She seemed to be wracking her brain in an effort to remember.

“Something bad happened…” Yuuki froze as a feeling of fear swept through her. “A scary man came...he made mother and father angry…he hurt father…” Little Yuuki began to shake. Yuuki reached out and opened her arms to the smaller version of herself. The smaller version stepped into the circle of her arms. Yuuki gave a quiet gasp as the little girl’s memories translated into her own mind. She saw the buttons on someone’s shirt as he cradled her to his chest. “And my Onii-sama left me to go help father. He…left me with mother…” Yuuki’s heart froze as she saw Kaname. She saw Kaname walked away. She reached for him despite the arm around her waist and screamed for him, but she didn’t scream his name. She screamed brother. “But mother isn’t here…” Yuuki saw a familiar flash. It was the woman with dark red hair. Yuuki could see her eyes now. They were the same shade as her own. Yuuki swallowed.

“Wha…What was that?” Yuuki whispered. The child version of her was quiet as if she were trying to process it too.

**X**

Kaname blew in through the front door. Immediately, he was assaulted by the overwhelming smell of his dear girl’s blood. For a moment, he was completely staggered by it. His eyes, immediately reddened by the scent of her blood spilt, locked on the closet door. He could sense that the blood had been split inside that little room. He narrowed his eyes as his mind quickly put the pieces together. Even in his panic, he had sensed no intruder. Yuuki was attacked by someone in the home. The door to the closet was demolished as his powers lashed out in his anger. _‘Kiryuu.’_

“Kaname!” He heard Kaien call urgently from upstairs. Kaname forced his rage down for the moment and ran upstairs. The door to Yuuki’s room was opened a crack; he pushed it open the rest of the way and stepped inside. What he saw almost brought him to his knees. If it weren’t for the sound of Yuuki’s heartbeat; he would have thought she were dead. He moved immediately to her side, ignoring Kaien speaking. He peeled the bloody bandage around her throat back. A lamp in Yuuki’s room exploded as he looked down at the vicious tearing. He hissed angrily as he looked at the still bleeding wounds. _‘He will pay for this,’_ Kaname promised as he tenderly brushed the hair surrounding the wound away. He leaned down. Being so close to her open, bleeding wound caused his eyes to flash red with hunger, but he pushed it aside. His dear girl had been hurt enough today. He would _not_ make it worse. He was no _animal._

He pressed his lips to the wound. Yuuki gave a quiet noise and tilted her head a little more to the side. Kaname glanced up at her jaw. It made his heart skip slightly to see her baring herself so vulnerably; he hadn’t even began to heal her yet and already his lips gave her comfort. He pushed that little enjoyment aside and focused on making her better. She sighed as the wound closed. _‘Even in sleep, it gave her pain.’_ He realized. He didn’t remove his lips until the wound was closed. Then, glaring down at the scar it left, he pressed his lips to her neck again. He heard Kaien’s heart give a small jump. Kaname kept his lips on her neck until the memory of Zero’s teeth were erased from his precious girl’s neck. He stood up stiffly.

“Kaname….you’ve got…” Kaien trailed off. He didn’t want to say that Kaname had Yuuki’s blood on his lips. That would make Zero edgy and he wanted to keep the two vampires apart for as long as he could. Kaien could see the rage burning just underneath the surface. Kaname would kill Zero if they encountered one another right now.

Kaname closed his eyes. He could smell Yuuki’s blood against his lips; he was sorely tempted to dart his tongue out to taste it, but he knew what a horrible idea that would be. Just a little taste wasn’t enough to satisfy him. He wanted to be able to drink from her properly, to share in her memories, and taste her feelings; he wanted her to be awake when he did it. He wanted her to be _her._ So, he simply removed the handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the blood away. He held it between his fingers once he was certain he had cleaned the blood away. The handkerchief went up in flames not a second later. Kaien was, wisely, silent. He turned his eyes to Kaien and asked:

“What happened?” Though the question was voiced calmly, the room suddenly felt many degrees cooler. Kaien drew in a sorrowful breath.

“May we go downstairs?” Kaien delayed respectfully. Kaname allowed it and nodded. Kaien tried not to shiver as the angry Pureblood followed him out of Yuuki’s room and down the stairs. For Zero’s sake, he hoped burning his clothes took longer.

**X**

Yuuki and Child Yuuki had moved to the couch after that experience. The child had yet to let go of her as they eased down onto the couch. Yuuki noted that this younger, stranger version of herself held the same fear of being alone that she did. They sat on the couch in silence for a little bit. Both lost in their thoughts and both unknowingly transmitting their thoughts to their other versions. Young Yuuki knew that older Yuuki was trying to figure out what those visions were. Older Yuuki knew that younger Yuuki was perplexed by her line of thinking.

“Don’t you know?” The child Yuuki chimed in, “they were your memories. Our memories. _You are me_.” Yuuki sighed.

“I can’t know that,” she told the younger version of herself as she absentmindedly ran her fingers through her hair. It seemed to calm the girl further. Yuuki heard a whisper of thought, _‘momma used to do this all the time…’_ Yuuki pushed the thought away. “I don’t remember anything before age five.”

“I’m five,” child Yuuki told her as she leaned up.

“I know,” Yuuki smiled. The child didn’t smile back; instead she frowned.

  “Mommy must have done something…” She trailed off; it looked so strange to see such a thoughtful expression on one so young. The little girl looked up at her and said, “I’ve been here all along. Inside your head. I’m not a figment of your imagination.”

“What do you mean?” Yuuki asked. What child Yuuki was telling her was beyond her understanding. She couldn’t deal with this, but still the little version of herself continued:

“Mommy sealed me away.” Yuuki blinked. It was confusing. For a moment, she hadn’t seemed to know just what had happened to her; but now, she seemed to know. “I don’t know how and I’m not sure why…but she sealed me away. I’ve been here all along, learning with you, interacting with people with you. I know all about you…but you don’t know a single thing about me.” She sounded so sad. Yuuki took a deep breath and prepared to doom herself to confusion.

“Would you tell me?” She asked.

“I’ve been trying. Those flashes…that was me trying to talk to you. To let you know.”

“Oh…” Yuuki trailed off.

“I’m sorry it hurt you.” Yuuki put her hand on little Yuuki’s head and rubbed her hair.

“It’s okay,” she reassured the child.

“Are you going to forgive Zero?” Child Yuuki asked in the way all children do. Yuuki furrowed her brows.

“What?” Before the question even came out the memory assaulted her.    

 _“Zero!” She cried out to the best of her ability around his hand. He tightened his fingers around her cheeks as if to muffle the noise. Yuuki cried out and tried to wiggle away from him, but his arms were wrapped so tightly around her waist that she couldn’t get away. It only made her fight harder. She brought her hands up and pushed hard against his chest. He budged only a little, but he managed to pull himself back. She screamed as he bit down even deeper; she felt her skin tear underneath his teeth. “Zero! Stop! No!” She yelped as she began to beat his chest._ Yuuki unknowingly pulled the child closer as if to guard her from the memory. The child snuggled deeper into her chest, glad not to be alone in this room anymore and saddened by what the older version of her went through.

“I…” Yuuki realized with sadness that the answer the question was an immediate yes. She had been so scared and it had hurt _so much_. She closed her eyes and sunk deeper into the couch. Her answer defeated her, “I don’t know…” She admitted quietly. The child hummed.

“I understand, better than anyone, your reasons. You want to cherish him, take care of him…and protect him. So, you give him our blood. It is the only way. But…”

“But?” Yuuki pressed the child. Young Yuuki hid her face in Yuuki’s chest as she muttered:

“I’m angry with you. Our blood belongs to Onii-sama. He should be the first to take it and yet you give it away.” Yuuki opened her mouth to protest, to defend herself, but she realized she had nothing to argue with. What the child said was true. So, Yuuki was silent. She knew her blood belonged to Kaname; and she knew how it hurt him to know that she was letting Zero feed from her.

“I can’t accept all of this right now,” Yuuki sighed, thumping her head back onto the couch. “I can’t process it.”

“I know, but you’ll remember it. That’s enough.”

“Why did you sound so perplexed when you found out I didn’t have fangs?” Yuuki asked after a moment of silence.

“Because…when you look in the mirror, I see you how you should be. I see you as me.”

“So, you see me with fangs.”

“Yes.”

“That’s strange.”

“Indeed.” Yuuki couldn’t stop the giggle at such an old term coming from a small child. Younger Yuuki giggled too. Suddenly, a somber expression washed over the child’s face.

“You may want to wake up now,” it was such a simple statement, but it was enough to stir her to consciousness.

Yuuki blinked up at the blurry, white ceiling. She could hear voices downstairs and she could feel the warmth of someone next to her. She blinked a few times to clear her vision before she looked toward the source of the heat. She immediately recognized the stock of silver hair. It was Zero. He was half-lying on her bed. His head was resting on his crossed arms and his shoulders were shaking almost violently. It was then that Yuuki realized Zero was crying. Not just crying, he was sobbing. Yuuki’s heart almost broke in her chest. In all of her years with him, she had never seen him cry. Yet, it was Yuuki who had caused him to cry. She frowned.

“No,” it came out as a quiet puff, too quiet for him to hear. Her throat repelled against her attempt at speech. She swallowed in a desperate attempt to wet it. It helped only a little. She parted her lips to say his name, but nothing would come out. Her throat was too dry and too sore from her earlier screams.

“Zero,” they both heard the muffled call from downstairs. “Come down here.” Yuuki, cowardly, closed her eyes as he raised his head up. She felt his touch, gentle and feather light on her head.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered before he left. Yuuki’s eyes filled with tears. She wanted so badly to tell him it was okay, but she knew it wasn’t. Zero had made her afraid. For the first time in her life, she was afraid of Zero. He had lost control; he had nearly drained her. She was still afraid. She waited to open her eyes until she heard the first creak of the stairs. Slowly, she tried to sit up. Immediately, the dizziness forced her back down. She clenched her jaw angrily and used that to force herself back up. She clenched her jaw harder as nausea tried to force her back down.

 _‘I am not just going to sit here!’_ She growled as she swung her legs around to the edge of the bed. Vertigo slammed into her, but she fought against it. _‘I’m not going to leave Zero to face the Headmaster by himself. This was not something he decided alone.’_ She stood up and immediately grabbed for the nightstand as her knees threatened to buckle. She tightened her fingers around the nightstand and glared in the mirror at the weak girl struggling to stand. She saw how pale she was; she saw how her arms and legs were shaking; she could feel her body screaming out at her to stop, to lay back down, but she didn’t care. _‘We decided together.’_ She pushed herself up and used the nightstand to propel herself in the direction of the door. _‘So, we will take the punishment together.’_

**X**

Zero walked down the stairs with the speed of a man moving toward his own execution, slow and heavy. He had slipped in through the window once he knew Kuran had arrived. It wasn’t that he was afraid of Kuran; he wasn’t afraid of the beating or of death; he was afraid of and for Yuuki. It was his worry for the girl that pushed him to climb in through her bedroom window instead of going through the front door like a normal person. He needed the immediate reassurance that her heart was still beating. He hadn’t been disappointed. Since Kuran had healed her, she had gained a little of her color back but not enough; she was still so white. But she wasn’t bleeding anymore. It would take some time for her to regain what he had selfishly taken, but she would eventually be okay. He was so lost in his worry for her that he didn’t notice when he had reached the bottom of the stairs. He gasped as he was violently brought out of it. Pain sheered through his shoulder as he was slammed back into the wall. Through the ringing in his ears, he heard the headmaster yell:

“Kaname!” Even knowing who had him, he denied his instincts and didn’t strike out. He knew that he deserved whatever punishment the Pureblood dealt him. He had nearly killed Yuuki and that was the most heinous of crime to them both. It was the one thing they could agree on. So, he locked eyes with the angry Pureblood and resigned himself to his punishment.

Upstairs, Yuuki heard the thud and the yell. Yuuki’s heart froze. As terrified as she was of Zero right now, she didn’t want him hurt. She would never want that. She forced herself to move faster. She shoved away from her post against the wall and forced her feet clumsy down the stairs. Her knees gave out completely on the fourth step. She grabbed desperately for the banister. It was as she held herself up that she saw just what she was about to run into. Kaname had Zero pinned to the wall with one hand. One hand, that Yuuki noted with sickness, through his shoulder was all that kept Zero on the wall. Blood dripped from around Kaname’s hand and down Zero’s chest. She swallowed her horrified scream. Kaien was busy trying to pull them apart while Zero and Kaname were having some sort of stare off in the middle of the room; but Yuuki somehow understood what was happening. Zero gave a small grimace of pain as Kaname’s eyes flashed red. She paled. She knew she didn’t have long. She used her arm strength to propel herself over the last three steps. She landed shakily on her feet and scrambled to them. Her entire body ached; she felt as though her limbs were made of lead, but somehow she made it to him before Kaname could do anything.

“Stop, Kaname, please!” She plead as she forced herself into the small space between them. The red in Kaname’s eyes faltered as he registered the tiny girl between them, pushing against his chest. Yuuki could feel the sickening warmth of Zero’s blood against her bare shoulder and channeled her earlier rage to get Kaname off of him. She used Zero’s stomach as leverage to shove them apart. She heard him give a quiet oomph as her back slammed into his ribs, but she heard nothing else from him until she pushed Kaname away completely. She was profoundly surprised when Kaname moved easily. There was a sickening noise as Kaname’s hand left the hole in Zero’s shoulder. His blood coated hand crossed her peripherals as he stumbled backward. The force of her shove made her go with him a few steps. She stumbled forward and nearly fell to her knees in front of him, but she managed to save herself just in time. Behind her, Zero crumbled to the floor. His foot knocked into her ankles accidentally. She wobbled slightly as the jar to her ankles knocked her further off balance. She tried to step away from his foot, but her knee gave out before she could fully put her other foot down. The Headmaster caught her around the waist before she could fall. She leaned her full weight against the Headmaster, confident that he could take it, as she kept her eyes on Kaname. “Thank you for healing me, but please…don’t kill him. We were both at fault. I knew it was dangerous. So, if you want to punish him, then you should punish me also.” A look of pure disgust, no doubt at the idea of hurting her, passed through Kaname’s eyes.

“Yuuki,” she heard Zero croak from behind her, but she didn’t look. The Headmaster couldn’t ignore the way her body tensed. “Don’t defend me. I nearly killed you…if it hadn’t been for the Headmaster intervening…or for Kuran…I would have.” Yuuki couldn’t say anything to that; she knew he would have. Instead, she simply sighed.

“I won’t kill him, Yuuki,” Kaname promised, “but he does need to be punished.” The question why was on the tip of her tongue, but that little voice chimed in, _‘because he hurt us. He nearly killed us. Onii-sama needs to do this. If you don’t step aside, it’ll only be worse on Zero.’_ Yuuki rolled her lips together and tried to step aside, but her legs wouldn’t cooperate. They weren’t strong enough to hold her up. The Headmaster helped her aside. “Yuuki,” Kaname spoke up again as Kaien helped her out of the way, “don’t think I am not angry with you as well.” She tensed, but didn’t look away from him. Though she hated that he was disappointed in her, she couldn’t find it in herself to be sorry for helping Zero. Even with the scariness of almost being drained, she still didn’t regret trying. Something in his statement however made her angry.

“I understand,” Yuuki nodded. Her lips ached to form a word, but she wouldn’t let it fall. She still didn’t believe it. She stared at Kaname as he approached Zero. _‘He can’t be my brother. He just can’t. I can’t have fallen in love with my older brother. That’s just…’_

 _“We’ll be like mother and father someday,” Kaname promised as he lay beside her on the pillow. His hand was warm against her cheek as his eyes glowed with love for her. She could feel her lips smiling back at him in joy._ Yuuki gasped as the child forced yet another memory onto her. They were clearer now that she knew, but that didn’t make them hurt less. She closed her eyes at the pain radiating through her head in sharp stabs. The light and the sounds suddenly hurt. She was unaware of the area around her mouth turning green. Kaname’s voice caused her eyes to open again as he said:

“I will not deal out his punishment in front of you, Yuuki. Go back upstairs.” Yuuki looked at him through blurry eyes. He wasn’t look at her, but down at Zero’s crumpled form. He was trying to rise, Yuuki could hear. One hand was on the wall behind him, aiding him in standing up. _‘Zero,’_ she thought fondly, ‘ _always so proud.’_ She knew what was going through her best friend’s head. He refused to take his punishment sitting down. It was too close to being on his knees like a subject. He would not and never would be one of Kaname’s vampires. So, despite the pain he was going through, he would rise. Yuuki couldn’t even begin to phantom the amount of strength Zero had. Yuuki realized Kaname was waiting for her to move, but she didn’t want too; and then she realized the gem he had given her. In his want to protect her from the darkness of his world, Kaname had given her the opening she needed. Maybe she could still save Zero from Kaname’s brand of punishment.

“No.” She rebelled. “If you are going to punish him, then I will stay and watch. It’s not like I can make it upstairs anyway.” She saw the shock on Kaname, Zero, and Kaien’s face at her blatant defiance. Despite the weakness in her body, the strength of her spirit was conveyed through her eyes as she stared at Kaname. She pushed off of the Headmaster slightly and stood in front of Kaname. She knew that there was nothing remotely intimidating or dignified about the way her knees were knocking together like a newborn fowl, but she squared her shoulders anyway and kept eye contact with Kaname despite the vicious vibrating her body was doing. “Let that be my punishment, if you are so angry at me. There is nothing else you could do or would be willing to do that would hurt me more.” Kaname flinched. “I told you,” she reminded him with slight gentleness, “if you punish him, you have to punish me too.”

“Yuuki…” Zero and Kaien breathed, both stared at her in identical surprise, but she didn’t look at either of them. Her eyes were on Kaname; she wanted to see what he would do. Would he be the Pureblood King exacting out his vengeance for her pain? Or would he let Yuuki handle it on her own? She could feel her knees beginning to give so she leaned back against Kaien once more, content to take solace in his steady strength.

Kaname’s jaw jumped repeatedly as he fought with himself. The beast in him demanded that Zero bleed for hurting Yuuki in such a way, but the man in him told him not too. He knew Yuuki was serious. She was stand and watch him through everything if she had too. She would stand and watch him become something he never wanted her to see. He dug his claws into his hand and looked down at the ex-human. Kiryuu’s eyes weren’t even on him, but on Yuuki. He looked back toward his dear girl. Her knees were knocking together with the effort it was taking her to remain standing; she was slumped on the Headmaster’s chest completely, grasping his arms for support; but her eyes burned, oh how they burned, with her fire. He sighed. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t punish him in front of her.

“Very well, Yuuki. You win,” he conceded as he held his hands up. The fire in her eyes dimmed slightly and filled instead with her tiredness. Sadness filled him at the look. He wanted nothing more than to take it away. Kiryuu stood beside him; Kaname spared him only a little glance and knew immediately that as bad as he was bothered, it bothered the ex-human twenty times worse. ‘ _You will be his punishment. Just seeing you like this and knowing he is the cause hurts him more than I ever could.’_ He was very aware of Yuuki’s eyes on him as he thought. They seemed to burn into him, study him in a way she never had before. He looked up and met her eyes. She didn’t blush or look away; she kept staring, peering into his very soul. _‘What are you looking for?’_ He wondered. _‘And what will you do if you find it?’_ As if hearing his message, Yuuki looked away, but not before he saw a flash of something move of her face.

He knew that little something would haunt him for the rest of the night; for even in all his years, he had never seen an expression quite like it. It was a mixture of fight and curiosity; it was anger and longing; it was love and sadness. All of these emotions had been mixed into one on her beautiful face. For someone who prided himself in knowing what each of her expressions meant, that one expression stumped him and frightened him.

X

Yuuki accepted the awkward silence as she reclined on a pillow in her bed. The Headmaster gently held her arm in his hands as he inserted a needle into her forearm. She didn’t look down at it, instead she chose to look at the ceiling. She grimaced as she felt the cold blood trickling into her veins. It felt incredibly weird to be given blood. She looked back toward the Headmaster.

“Why do you have blood in the house?” She regretted asking the moment the words left her lips. The normally goofy man gifted her with a strangely serious look from over the rim of his glasses. He gave a quiet sigh and pushed his glasses up his nose before he answered her:

“I have known all along about what you and Zero were up to,” Yuuki flinched. “I had hoped that I wouldn’t need it, but the cynic in me knew that it would be possible.”

“Yeah, but how did you get it?” She asked, hoping to delay the conversation she knew was coming as long as possible. The look in his eyes told her that she didn’t fool him at all, but he still humored her.

“The Hunter’s Association has wide connections. Giving my standing in that world, it was relatively easy for me to get enough blood. They know that I have Zero Kiryuu in my care. They just believe that I was giving him this blood instead of keeping it for the day you might need it,” he said. It was strange to hear the Headmaster speak of his past. He never had before. When Yuuki asked, he always said that it was in the past, that it didn’t matter anymore.

“But it does matter,” Yuuki spoke her thoughts aloud. The Headmaster stared at her in confusion, but he said nothing. “People always say that the past doesn’t matter anymore because it’s the past, but if that was true, people wouldn’t study history. It matters because in the end…the past always matters. It always comes back around. You can never escape it.” Kaien filed her statements away in his mind with a deep sadness.

“You know,” he started, acting as though her thoughts had stayed inside her head, “you can’t feed him anymore. You can’t give Zero your blood.” Zero’s red eyes and his blood covered mouth flashed into her mind. Yuuki grimaced and shut her eyes tightly as if she could shut out the images. It didn’t work. Instead, she felt the phantom imprint of his fingers, his nails, digging into her cheeks as he tried to suppress her screams. She snapped her eyes open; maybe if she found something to look at, something to hold her attention, she wouldn’t think of it anymore. A vicious shudder of fear stole down her spine despite herself.

“I know,” she distracted herself with speaking. “But…what will he eat? Blood tablets don’t work for him; his body rejects them.”

“This,” the Headmaster tapped the bag suspended in the air by the long hook. “I’ll start using the blood as the Association believes I am.” Yuuki knew it wouldn’t be as good as her blood; it would work as well, but she couldn’t…she couldn’t give it to him anymore. Not at the rate he needed anyway. He would drain her before he drank his fill. She rolled her lips together as despair slammed into her. The Headmaster must have seen the emotional trauma on her face because he rose from the chair across her bed and said, “I’ll be right downstairs. Get some rest, Yuuki,” he told her gently before he turned away. Yuuki watched him leave; but the minute the door closed, she gave in. She was so tired, so angry, so confused, and so, so very drained. She just…she couldn’t take it anymore. She crumbled forward and gave in to the torrent of emotions ripping through her. She cried without care for her volume. She cried until her eyes ached; she cried until she couldn’t breathe. She cried herself to sleep.

Zero sat outside her door and listened. He let each sob cut through him. He had done this to her. So, he would listen. He understood now why Kaname had given in so easily. He had let _Yuuki_ be his punishment. Zero gave a sad, suffering snort as he rested his chin on his knees. _‘I have to admit the bastard knew what he was doing.’_


	5. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki deals with the aftermath of Zero’s attack and that strange dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

Around noon the next day, a completely fed up Yuuki climbed out of bed. Her bed, which she had once rejoiced in so much, had become intolerable. She wasn’t used to being idle so long. She walked downstairs and into the kitchen to get yet another bottle of water. The Headmaster made certain to inform her that just one blood transfusion—while helping significantly—wouldn’t be enough to get her feeling better; she would have to drink a lot of water as well. So far, Yuuki was on her tenth bottle since last night. She sighed and unscrewed the bottle. Just as she lifted it to her lips, she noticed the note on the counter. She approached it to see the Headmaster’s writing.

_Yuuki,_

_We’ve gone to a meeting at the Hunter’s Association. We should be back in an hour or so, but if you get lonely just call Kaname._

There was a silly smiley face beside Kaname’s name as if the Headmaster were trying to tease her. She rolled her eyes and set the note down. She leaned against the counter for a moment as she thought on what he had said. _‘A meeting at the Hunter’s Association? Is it really that time again?’_ She wondered.

Every month around Christmas that Yuuki could remember, Kaien had always disappeared somewhere. It wasn’t until Zero came along that Yuuki found out just where and what he did. Zero said that every month a new list was created. This list was for the dangerous vampires only, ones that were considered a threat by the Association. Even hunters out of the business were required to attend, just in case this particular vampire stumbled upon the area they resided.

Yuuki raised the bottle to her lips again and took a long swallow. _‘What will I do today?’_ She wondered. For some reason not immediately apparent, she thought of the envelope Kaname had handed her before they left for the holidays. Inside, he said, was the key to the Moon Dormitory. She furrowed her brows. Could she really breech their trust like that and enter without them there? It would certainly be the safest time to go take a peek…but there were rules against that kind of thing. On the other hand, there were no cameras around the Moon Dormitory. It would be incredibly easy to sneak in and out without them ever knowing. Her scent would already be gone by the time they returned. _‘I’ve been in Kaname’s room before…when the Academy first opened. I’m sure I could find it again.’_ Despite her reservations against snooping, the plan had already formed in her head. She would sneak into Kaname’s bedroom and snoop around for some sign that what her younger self said was true. Somehow, she knew she wasn’t going to get a straight answer from the Pureblood if she even tried to ask these questions _. ‘Yeah, I could completely imagine it now. Are you my brother? If you are, isn’t it weird for me to be in love with you?’_ She thought sarcastically as she took another swallow from her water bottle.

She tossed her empty water bottle into the trash and immediately walked upstairs to change from her nightgown. She tore it over her head as soon as she stepped into her bedroom and hipped the door closed. She dug a grey skirt and a grey long-sleeved T-shirt with black sleeves that once belonged to Zero from her closet and slipped both of them on. Then, she moved to her dresser and pulled out a pair of dark blue, thick leggings. She slid them on underneath her skirt and pulled on a pair of white socks. Before she walked down the stairs, she took a sharp turn to the Headmaster’s office. She had been in the room when he had hidden the key; so, it wouldn’t take her long at all to find it.

Minutes later, Yuuki walked back out of the Headmaster’s office, key in hand. She grabbed another water before she embarked on her journey to the Moon Dormitory. She slipped her boots on at the door; and she was off. She was half-way when she was struck by the thought of the creepy gate-keeper to the moon dorm. It was an irrational fear; the Headmaster always sent that guy home for the holidays (though Yuuki doubted he had any family to speak of), but she remembered him all the same. He needed to be scary, she guessed, to keep some of the other students away from the Moon Dormitory. ‘Though not many students know about the back gate…the Headmaster made certain that it wasn’t common knowledge. The gatekeeper could be overwhelmed, after all.’ Yuuki walked leisurely along the path until she reached the massive building that was the Moon Dormitory. She slid the key into the lock and twisted. The lock hardly made a scrapping noise as it popped free. She stepped inside and locked it back behind her. She turned and looked around at the extravagant, dark living room. She dug her flashlight out of her pocket and clicked it on.

No dust had yet to settle on this place yet which was good because that meant Yuuki could leave even less of a trace in this place. She moved up one set of stairs and walked slowly past the open rooms. Every room was extravagant, but there would be one that was better than the rest. This room, she knew, would be Kaname’s. She found it near the very end of the hall. She stepped inside but didn’t bother closing the door. It had been so long since she had here. She stood in the doorway and tapped her bottom lip with her index finger. “Where to look, where to look…” She muttered as she flashed her light around the room. “Kaname wouldn’t have any pictures up of his home life; those would make him seem vulnerable…” she muttered as she moved further into the room. “So, if he does have any, they would be hidden somewhere.” Her eyes landed on the desk in the center of the room. She moved toward it and opened the first drawer. All she could see were papers. She gently pushed them aside and rifled through the door. Her fingers brushed a lamented surface. She pulled it out and found herself staring at herself. Her lips tilted up in amusement at Kaname’s expense. He had cut Zero out of the photo. She giggled and put the picture back into the drawer, right where she had found it. She closed the drawer, having found all of the pictures she could in that one, and opened the next. This drawer was deeper and most notably empty. She frowned and moved to the next smaller drawer on the other side of the desk. Inside this one was one photo. It wasn’t of her, but of a family that instantly jarred her memory.

The beautiful woman she kept seeing covered in blood stood beside the man she always saw as well. He had his arm around her waist; she was smiling up at him. No children were in the picture, but just the existence of this photo was enough. They were standing in front of the house Yuuki had “seen” all those years ago. It was real. Now, where was it? She rolled her lips together. _‘Do vampires keep records of the houses that moved through their community or do they go through real estate like everyone else?_ ’ She doubted Kaname had the deed sitting around in one of these drawers. She flipped the photo over, hoping against hope that someone had written the address on the back. Her heart skipped as she spotted faded handwriting. Her heart leapt as she made out an address, a date, and the name of the people in the photo.

She scribbled the address down on her wrist with a pen Kaname had left behind and quickly set it back in its holder. As she waited for the ink to dry on her skin, she traced the names of the people with her fingertip _. ‘Haruka and Juri Kuran,’_ the names were familiar to her, but she couldn’t place them. She couldn’t blame her knowing their faces on a memory from before age five because she had never seen them before her hallucinations started. It scared her that the two individuals showing up in her hallucinations were Kaname’s parents. She didn’t want to think about it. Yuuki stuck the picture back into the drawer and closed it. Suddenly, she couldn’t stay in that room anymore. She darted out of his bedroom, down the stairs, and hit the door. She fell on the door handle and found that it wouldn’t move. In her panic, she had forgotten that she had locked it behind her. She twisted the lock and got out. She leaned against the door for a moment and tried to catch her breathe. She closed her eyes against the sun and focused on calming down.

 _‘Finding that picture…I’d never seen them before my hallucinations started…does that mean she was right? Is Kaname really my brother?’_ Just the idea made her eyes sting with fresh tears. She had always felt the distance between them, but…to know that they were brother and sister would destroy her. It meant that she couldn’t be with him, that her love for him was _wrong_ when everything about it felt so right. Finding that photo meant…It meant that she wasn’t human. She couldn’t accept that. The very thought threatened to send her back into hyperventilation. _‘I could have been adopted,’_ she lied to herself, _‘they could have adopted me and that’s why she called him brother.’_ It worked enough to calm her down. She pushed away from the door and locked it back with her trembling hands. The address on her wrist stood out. She studied it again as she walked down the pathway. It wasn’t very, very far from the Headmaster’s place. It would take a while to walk there on foot, especially for a human, but if she went by car…

 _‘Do I really want to see the house? If the picture affected me that way, how much will the house affect me? What will I do if just being inside triggers some sort of memory?’_ Yuuki sighed _, ‘on the other hand, I’m already in this. Why not see it all the way through? I’ve already broke one of the codes the Headmaster told Zero and I to uphold. I’ve ‘broken’ into the Moon Dormitory and violated the trust of one of its most valued students. Why not take it a little further and break the law? Trespass on what I’m sure is private property…’_ She gave a quiet sad laugh as she passed through the back gate once again.

 _‘Or…you could talk to Onii-sama,’_ that little voice chimed in again. _‘You don’t have to search for all of the answers on your own. You don’t believe me; fine, I get that. I did, after all, appear to you in a dream. I am a voice in your head. But you’ll have to listen to him because Onii-sama may be many things, but he had never blatantly lied to us.’_

 _‘Are you going to be a regular now?’_ Yuuki sighed.

_‘Pretty much. Mother’s seal has been weakening for some time now. Soon, you won’t be able to hear me because I’ll have merged with you.’_

_‘Why does that sound threatening?’_

_‘Because it is. If Onii-sama doesn’t make his move soon, I could drive you mad.’_

_‘I’m talking to a voice in my head. I’ve been having visions for the past few days of blood and random people. I’m pretty sure I’m already there.’_

_‘No. It could be worse.’_

_‘Oh, aren’t you a gem…’_ Yuuki didn’t want to see worse. _‘Wait, what did you mean the seal is weakening?’_ Yuuki stopped in the middle of the path as she processed exactly what the young girl had said before. It certainly didn’t sound good for her anyway.

_‘Exactly as it sounded, silly. I can talk to you now outside of your sleeping hours. Pretty soon, you’ll probably be able to tap into some of our powers.’_

_‘You have powers? And you’re five?’_

_‘No.’_ Yuuki’s lip twitched at how exasperated the childlike voice sounded, but she didn’t laugh. _‘My physical appearance, my fangs, and my control on my powers are severely weak. Everything that makes me a vampire was sealed away so I didn’t age, but you—the human form—did. You were able to age, to grow, and when I wake up fully, I will merge with you.’_

_‘Why did you say if Kaname doesn’t make his move soon then?’_

_‘Onii-sama needs to bite you and change you back in order for me to fully awaken. If he waits too long, you will be human with a vampire’s urges.’_ That sounded horrifying. _‘Being able to use my powers as a human might actually help us when we do merge completely.’_

_‘How?’_

_‘I never learned to use my powers or my fangs. When I awaken, we will technically be set back to age five.’_

_‘Oh.’_

_‘Yeah. Oh.’_

_‘That sounds dangerous.’_

_‘It will be. Onii-sama will have to take us away from the populous until we get in control.’_

_‘So, assuming I accept everything you have said, how long do I have until we completely merge?’_ Silence fell between them, but Yuuki could strangely hear the girl calculating. Yuuki used that time to start walking. Her feet were beginning to get cold. She still needed to beat the Headmaster and Zero home. She was already halfway past the Sun Dormitory when Child Yuuki chimed up again.

 _‘I’d estimate three months.’_ Yuuki blinked both at the sudden statement and at the answer.

 _‘Wow. That’s more time than I thought.’_ Yuuki acknowledged as she walked into the Headmaster’s house. The warmth from the heating unit made her sigh almost dreamily as she took off her boots again. She had managed to beat Zero and the Headmaster home. Now all that remained was getting that address written down onto a piece of paper and cleaning the evidence off of her arm.

After writing the address down, Yuuki ran herself a bath to warm her up a little further. She left it for a moment to set up her candles and get her toiletries. She opened her bag and dug out her small bottle of orange blossoms and ginger bubble bath. Yuuki flushed a little as she remembered what had made her begin using it. Kaname had informed her one day during their many unsupervised visits before Zero arrived that she smelled like those two scents. She couldn’t tell herself, but she trusted his judgment. So, she’d started using it; even when she’d tried to cut her affection for him away by shedding her long hair, she’d continued using the bath items and the body lotion. She pushed those thoughts away and watched as the bubbles immediately began to rise on the surface of the water. The smell of orange blossoms and ginger filled the quiet bathroom. She basked in the scent as she waited for the water to reach a suitable level.

After a few minutes, she shut off the water. Before she undressed, she took an extra towel and draped it over the handle. She closed the door and shed her clothes onto the floor. She folded the skirt and the T-shirt, since neither were dirty and laid it beside her change of underwear. Finally satisfied that there were no clothes on the floor, she slipped into the bubble bath up to her nose. She closed her eyes and let the warm water and the smell of orange blossoms and ginger soothe away the tension of the last few days.

**X**

Kaname lay underneath his very comfortable covers, unable to sleep. Instead, his mind raced. As it was most days, he thought of Yuuki. To be more precise, he thought of Zero Kiryuu and Yuuki. Since the day Kiryuu came to live with the Headmaster, the two of them had been a packaged deal. It was rare that he spent time with Yuuki without Kiryuu somewhere in the room, glaring. Right now, just the thought of their closeness burned him. He ached to exact punishment on the foolish hunter for daring to scar his dear girl in such a manner…for treating her with such brutality. His eyes flashed red in the darkness of his loaned bedroom. He reigned in his temper before an object in the room or the house could suffer his rage. He breathed in and out as he tried to calm the storm inside of him. The punishment he had dealt Kiryuu felt insufficient. Yuuki was not a good catalyst. She was too forgiving. And he knew, without a single doubt, that Yuuki would find a way to forgive Kiryuu for his barbaric treatment. It was simply in her nature. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. Despite his exasperation with that side of her, Kaname would never wish for Yuuki to change. _‘If I don’t move now regarding Kiryuu, she will try to feed him her blood again. She would never give up on helping him, no matter the danger to herself. No matter how badly that bothers me, she had proven time and time again that when it comes to Kiryuu, my opinion matters only a little._ ’ Her love for Zero—yes, Kaname knew even if Yuuki didn’t—hurt him more than he could say, but he would suffer it in silence. As long as she loved him too, Kaname could deal with sharing the space in her heart. After all, it certainly was big enough.

 _‘How I long for the day I have her all to myself again.’_ It was easy for him to fall into imagines of that day. His daydreams soothed him just enough for sleep to claim him. His daydreams simply transitioned to actual dreams instead. He would wake up grumpy and lonely when he realized that she wasn’t beside him, but these few moments when she was with him in his dreams were worth it. To Kaname, Yuuki was worth it all.

**X**

“Ah…” The Headmaster sounded his enjoyment at the heating unit as he stepped into the foyer. Zero simply rolled his eyes at the man and shed his shoes. Kaien took off his shoes with unnecessary flourish. Without a word to the other man, Zero walked toward the stairs. His only thought was to check on Yuuki for what felt like the fifth time that morning. He never went inside; he simply stood at her door and asked if she needed anything. He was too afraid to see her face if he were to enter. He didn’t want to see the fear in her eyes. Muted it may be, it was still there. She was afraid of him now. The first bite he had ever given her hadn’t been enough, but this time...he had lost complete control. He hadn’t stopped trying to get to her when she moved away. He closed his eyes and grit his fangs together tightly. He forced himself to start walking back up the stairs.

The only thing that kept Zero going or kept him from confessing everything to the Hunter’s Association was Yuuki. He needed her to forgive him. He acknowledged without shame that he was desperate for it. He had hurt the one person in the world who mattered the most to him. He had brutalized her in a way he had always said Kuran was capable of.

He reached the top of the stairs and pushed those thoughts away as if mind filled with checking on Yuuki. She could be hungry. She hadn’t eaten much since yesterday. She only wanted water. His mind moved through all of the soups he could cook for her as he approached her door. As he raised his hand to knock, he noticed the towel hanging on the handle of the bathroom door. Aside from that, he could feel the humidity in the air and smell Yuuki’s bubble bath filtered out from underneath the door. He lowered his hand, put it into his pocket, and departed to his room.

Kaien remained downstairs, simply listening to the noises upstairs. He shook his head sadly and filled up a kettle for tea. “It’s impossible to rush this kind of thing, Zero,” Kaien spoke at a volume he knew the ex-human vampire could hear. “You want her forgiveness,” he put the kettle on the gas stove and turned the knob, “but you have to let her _heal_. You’ve never had a problem with exercising patience before; so, exercise it now. Don’t try and push yourself on her. She will come to you when _she is ready_.”

Zero leaned against his door; the Headmaster’s words circled in his head as he sank down to the floor and sat. He knew all of that, but he wanted…he wanted to see her smile at him again without fear. He wanted her to be able to look him in the eye. He knew he couldn’t rush it, but…but he needed to know that she didn’t hate him. Sure, she had protected him last night, but…he still needed to hear the words from her.

X

The hot water combined with such a familiar smell threatened to soothe Yuuki to sleep. She shifted her feet and sank her head down into the water in an attempt to wake herself up. When she reemerged she rubbed her eyes with her wrist to clear the soap from them. She rested her head back against the rim of the tub and closed her eyes again. For the first time in days, months even, her mind was blissfully blank. The heavy weight of sleep pulled at her eyelids again. Yuuki gave a quiet whine as she realized if she didn’t want to fall asleep and inevitably drown in a bubble bath, she was going to have to get out. With a depressed sigh, she pulled the plug out and stood from the bubbles. She toweled off enough to keep from dripping across the floor and moved to the shower. With a lazy fall of her hand, she turned on the hot water. She stepped underneath the downpour and rinsed all of the bubbles off of herself.

She toweled off again once she stepped out and ran the towel aggressively through her hair. She slipped the towel around her neck and draped it over her shoulders so that none of the loose strands would linger on her back when she got dressed. She pulled on her underwear before stepping up the counter and grabbing her hairdryer out from underneath the sink. The hum of the purple dryer filled the air hardly a minute later. She concentrating on drying her hair completely.

She admitted to taking longer than she normally would with all of her routines. She knew by the sounds of the house that the Headmaster and Zero were home. It wasn’t as if she was actively trying to avoid Zero. This morning she had truly been tired; and this afternoon, when she finally emerged from her bedroom, he had happened to be gone. _‘So, why am I like this now?’_ She wondered as she turned off the blow dryer and tucked it back underneath the sink. _‘Why am I drawing out my routine just to stay in the bathroom for a little while longer? Why am I behaving like a frightened child?’_ It was an easy answer; she was hiding like this because she was afraid. She hated it, but she knew it was true.

Her heart and mind both screamed that this was Zero she was fearing. Zero had been a steady rock in her life since his appearance four years ago; he was always there, silently supporting her and sometimes openly judging her. The point was, it was Zero. Her Zero. He was one of her very best friends in the whole world; and she was terrified of him. Rationally, she knew the fear would pass and they would be them again; but, right now, the light at the end of the tunnel was incredibly dim. She couldn’t look at him without remembering his frantic grabs and his attempts at silencing her. Her eyes stung with her sadness and inner rage, but she held the tears back and stiffened her upper lip. She _would_ get over this and she was going to start now. She wasn’t going to hide in the bathroom like some silly child. She was going to go outside and confront her fears. She curled her hand around the handle and opened the door.

Zero didn’t appear at the door like smoke; she knew that he would wait for her to come to him. It’s what he always did after he’d done something that hurt her feelings or made him question himself. So, instead of retiring to her room, she approached Zero’s bedroom door. She could feel the heat of his body from underneath the door. She knew he was sitting against it. With a small smile, she stuck her toes underneath the door and prodded his back.

“Get up, lazy bones,” she felt Zero swat her toes gently as he moved to stand up. Light filled the small space at the bottom of the door since Zero’s body was no longer blocking it. “I’m hungry. It’s only fair that you cook me something since I fed you last,” she joked morbidly before he could open the door. It made her heart skip slightly to refer to the incident in such a light way. It was easy to be brave, she knew, when Zero was separated from her by a closed door. The door opened as soon as the last syllable exited her lips. The look in Zero’s eyes stole her breathe away.

He looked as though she had just given him the best gift of all time; and she knew that no matter how many Christmases they shared from this moment on, she would never be able to replicate it. Zero looked as though he was going to hug her, but something in her face must have convinced him not too. Normally, she would have done anything to get Zero to hug her, but for right now all she could say was, “baby steps?”

Zero gave a slight smile at her extension of the olive branch. “Baby steps,” he agreed in a gruff voice. He still couldn’t believe that she was at his door, that she had sought him out so soon after. He had expected it to take weeks, no months, before she could even look him in eye; but here she was, standing at his doorway, smiling at him with that gentle, timid smile that she gifted people when she was uncertain. “You know,” he commented as they moved toward the stairs, “you don’t have to try to be around me so soon….if I still scare you. Don’t try to force yourself for my benefit.” She smiled like she always did and shook her head, but her eyes gave him no hint into her mind. He sighed and accepted her silence and her stubbornness. Still, the heaviness that had lingered around his heart was lifted. He was no fool; he knew that they weren’t in the clear yet. She meant it when she requested baby steps. If he wanted to regain her trust, he would have to take it slow. He would have to feed from the medical bags filled with cold blood; he would have to try and force down blood tablets; he would do all those things and so much more if it meant that she trusted him again.

Yuuki smiled as she noticed the slight bounce in Zero’s step as he made his way down the stairs. She felt a little better knowing that he wasn’t hurting anymore. She was still afraid. She knew they would have a long way to go before they were back to normal again, but she still felt accomplished. Now, if only she could convince herself to tackle her situation with Kaname in the same manner. Somehow that thought filled her with more fear than the idea of seeing Zero again. It was one thing to confront Zero, it was another thing to have all of her confusions remedied.

This thing with Zero, Yuuki knew she could handle. She had overcome a particular fear like this before. The situation with Kaname however was completely new and uncharted; and she was unprepared to wade it.

 _‘I’ve got three months,’_ she told herself. She paused. _‘Well, to be safe, let’s say two.’_


	6. Stop Pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero faces the things he’s been running from just as Yuuki is forced to deal with a devastating blow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

That night Yuuki couldn’t sleep. She had given it a herculean effort, but sleep still managed to elude her. Her body was simply too awake to even want to sleep. Yuuki knew without communicating to the little voice inside her head that this sleeplessness was a part of the merging she had been warned about. She gave a quiet groan and flopped her head back onto the pillow. _‘I already have bad luck in my classes as it is! How in the world am I going to pass next semester if I can’t even stay awake for them?!’_ She waited for a few minutes to see if she would respond. Nothing. _‘You’d better help me then,’_ she pouted. She tossed her feet from over the bed and stood up. Yuuki stretched out the kinks in her shoulders and back. The sudden movement caused a piece of paper to flutter off of her nightstand. The address scrawled quickly on the paper stared up at her. She bent down and picked it back up.

_‘Come to think of it, how come I’ve never heard Kaname mention this place or his family? Is it because it’s too painful for him to think about? He kept the picture in a drawer, on top of some papers, so he must think about them from time to time. Wouldn’t talking about it help? Did he have anyone to talk about it too back then?’_ A small, sad smile curved over her lips as she realized the answer to her question, _‘no. Kaname wouldn’t want to bother anyone with his problems. He would keep it all inside until he was certain he was completely alone.’_

_‘So, where is he living now? Where does he go when the holidays are over? He was too young back then to be able to live on his own. So, who took him in? Whoever it was probably has rights over the property until Kaname is old enough to resume his place as Head of the House. So…it’s not Kaname I’ll need to be afraid of seeing…but whomever has the rights to it right now.’_ She furrowed her brows. She didn’t have enough information to simply show up at the manor. _‘What if it has security posted around it? What if whoever has the rights is protecting Kaname’s assets? Ohh….maybe I should just confront Kaname!’_ Just the thought of encountering some form of vampire security made her nervous, but she would prefer that over facing Kaname right now.

_“No. If you are going to punish him, then I will stay and watch. It’s not like I can make it upstairs anyway. Let that be my punishment, if you are so angry at me. There is nothing else you could do or would be willing to do that would hurt me more. I told you. If you punish him, you have to punish me too.”_ Yuuki flinched at the memory. While she was proud of it, she knew that Kaname was probably furious.

_‘It was Onii-sama’s job to protect you, not only as our brother but as our fiancé, when you forced that choice on him, you rejected that. You rejected him.’_ The voice had told her; rage had filled the tiny voice. Yuuki flinched at the memory of that statement. It had echoed in her head more than she cared to admit. Unknowingly or not, she had rejected Kaname. She put her face in her hand and sighed. She still had so much to learn and no idea where to start. A dry chuckle escaped her lips as awareness of her situation washed over her.

_‘I’m a human…trying to figure out how to think like a vampire. By the end of this…I’ll probably have driven myself mad.’_ She opened the drawer on her nightstand and slipped the piece of paper inside. She didn’t need Zero or the Headmaster finding it and asking questions.

Suddenly, one of her own memories assaulted her. It was night Kaname brought her to the Headmaster’s front doorstep. She had been so confused and half out of it, but—for a reason she now understood—her attention had still been focused on her surroundings. She had overheard what the headmaster had said, _“You are the surviving son of the person I owe a lot too.”_ She hadn’t thought anything of it until now. Her heart froze.

_‘Does…does that mean the Headmaster’s known all along where I came from?’_ Her eyes stung at the thought. _‘And he never told me?’_ Her lower lip wobbled at the hurt that surged through her. _‘He watched me suffer all these winters…heard me cry into my pillow at night because I was so afraid of what I didn’t know…and he never said anything…’_ Her hurt gave way to anger. In the mirror, she saw her eyes glow a violent red. She gasped and jerked back, but it was too late to stop it. The powers the small child had been talking about lashed out at the mirror. Glass exploded around her. Yuuki couldn’t stop the shriek that escaped her lips; she threw her arms up over her face and ducked her head down. She flinched when she felt the glass slice her bare legs and her arms. She lowered them and looked down. Glass was trapped in her arms and in her legs. She groaned, “Great…”

Before she could start to take care of it herself, her bedroom door burst open. She froze her hand half way to the nightstand where she kept her nail kit. (It had a pair of tweezers in it). She looked up at them; they looked down at her. Yuuki slowly straightened, careful not to aggravate any of the cuts. She watched Zero’s and Kaien’s eyes move from her sliced skin to the completely empty mirror frame. The Headmaster opened his lips and closed them a few times before he asked, in the most shocked tone she had ever heard from him:

“What happened?” Yuuki didn’t know what to say. She knew it looked like the mirror had broken, not from the outside like one would expect, but it had shattered from the inside of the frame. The powers must have transferred inside the mirror frame instead of simply cracking it. So, she settled for the easiest answer she could find.

“Temper tantrum,” she said honestly. The Headmaster sighed while Zero shook his head. She fully expected Zero to step forward and try to pull her away from the glass like he normally would have; and for a moment, he looked as if he was going to, but then he stopped. He look on his face was uncertain and timid; her heart cried out to him, but she decided that his indecision on that was probably for the best. She didn’t know how she would react if he suddenly grabbed her. Gingerly, she tiptoed past the shards of glass and stood in front of beside the Headmaster. A few of the slices had brought up blood. “We have tweezers in the bathroom right?” She asked. The Headmaster nodded. Yuuki avoided looking directly at him. She was still too hurt and probably too angry. If the mirror had suffered that sudden burst, she could only imagine what it would to a human. A shiver rippled down her spine. _‘Hey, I don’t know if you’re awake or if you can even hear me right now, but that whole side effect? I think it started early.’_

_‘I know. I saw.’_ The voice answered as Yuuki closed the bathroom door behind her.

_‘So, does this mean your calculation was wrong?’_ She asked as she opened the medicine cabinet. She grabbed the tweezers and a couple of cotton swabs out of the holder.

_‘No. I’m far enough along in your consciousness for you to use my abilities. I did warn you,’_ the childlike version of herself answered as Yuuki grabbed the first aid kit from underneath the sink. Yuuki set it the first aid down on the counter and dug underneath the sink for the hydrogen peroxide.

_‘No, you said…oh.’_ Yuuki raised up with the bottle in her hand. _‘Soon.’_

_‘See?’_

_‘Well, I didn’t think you meant **this** soon!’_ Yuuki slammed the antiseptic down on the counter to vent for her annoyance.

_‘Sorry,’_ the voice drawled sarcastically, _‘I’ll try to be more precise next time.’_ Yuuki blinked. It was surprising to hear a childlike version of her voice mocking her in a manner. The tone, and the way she said it, only drove home what the child had been saying.

_‘Oh my god…you really are me.’_ She muttered mentally. The little girl made Yuuki throw her hands up. Yuuki jumped and stared down her hands. _‘You…You can make my body do things?’_

_‘Well, technically, it’s my body too.’_ The child reminded her with an eye roll that translated itself onto Yuuki. She saw herself do it in the mirror. Her heart raced with panic. She didn’t like the idea of her body no longer being hers to control.

_‘Stop it!’_ Yuuki demanded, unaware of her eyes flashing red as the powers reacted to her panic. _‘It’s freaking me out!’_

_‘Calm down!’_ The little voice shouted, sounding just as panicked as Yuuki felt. _‘You’ll explode something else. Powers are linked to emotions. The more powerful your rage, the more powerful the attack.’_ Yuuki tried to force herself to calm down, but she was having issues. She was still so frightened by the knowledge that the vampire inside of her could control her movements. _‘If she could make my arms move, what else could she make me do?’_ There was a flash of her attacking an unknown person in the way Zero had attacked her. She gasped and paled; bile rose up in her throat at the thought. The toilet began to shake.

_‘I won’t make you do anything again!’_ The voice promised. _‘Just please calm down! The more you use our powers, the more it will affect you later!’_

_‘Affect me?’_ Yuuki squeaked as she tried to calm down. _‘What does that mean?!’_ The toilet lid popped free of its fastening and made a loud clattering noise against the rim before the jerking inevitably tossed it to the floor. She still wasn’t calming down. The water inside started to bubble. She heard the pipes start to groan. _‘Oh, hell no.’_ She thought before the girl could answer, _‘I am not getting toilet water in these cuts.’_ The thought must have done something because the toilet stopped vibrating. Yuuki picked up the toilet lid and stuck it back onto the rim. She found the screws and managed to get them in with the back end of the tweezers. The little girl she shared her mindscape with was silent as Yuuki washed off the tweezers and then washed her hands. She eased herself down onto the fixed toilet lid and worked at gingerly pulled out the shards.

_‘Each time you use our powers,’_ the voice sounded weak as if she were being suffocated, _‘it makes us...’_ Yuuki furrowed her brows as she grabbed the first tiny shard with the end of the tweezers.

_‘Makes us what?’_ The little shard gave way. Her blood beaded up once the little obstruction was clear. Yuuki gasped. It was as if her throat had suddenly caught on fire. The pain in her throat reminded her frightfully of her nightmare. “Ah!” Yuuki cried out quietly as she raised the hand with the tweezers to her throat. Her eyes watered. It hurt so much. What was this? The answer came to her easily. It was the thirst, just as she had described to Zero. So, the question was…why was she feeling it? She was a human. Was her body already craving blood? How could she stop it?

_‘Blood tablets,’_ the idea came to her. She scrambled from her seat and tossed the tweezers in the sink as she dashed down the hall. Running only seemed to make the pain in her throat worse. She slumped against the archway to the Headmaster’s study to catch her breath, but every breathe she took only made it so much worse. She stumbled off of the archway and toward the drawer. She had seen the Headmaster stick a few boxes of blood tablets into the top drawer a few hours after Kaname had left. She opened the door and took out one box of the tablets. She slid the box open and grabbed one small white pill. She didn’t stop to contemplate if she was really doing this; she didn’t stop to wonder if her body would actually accept it, she just popped the pill in her mouth and forced it down dry. Just to be certain, she grabbed another and swallowed it. The pain in her throat persisted until she swallowed down four.

Yuuki leaned against the Headmaster’s desk, panting. _‘Was this how Zero felt all those years? Was this how he felt…that desperate thirst…when he lost control in the closet?’_ Her eyes stung with fresh tears at the thought of her friend in so much pain. She looked down at the blood tablets in her hand. Her body hadn’t rejected them and the tablets had soothed the pain. _‘Does this mean…I’m becoming more vampire than human?’_ She didn’t need the little girl to tell her that the answer was yes. She closed her eyes. _‘She says merge…but what she really means is I’ll disappear…’_ She stuck the blood tablets into the pocket of her nightgown and moved back toward the bathroom. No matter how hollowed out she felt by the revelation, she had to get the rest of the glass out.

**X**

Sleep alluded Kaien. His active mind wouldn’t let him seek the rest he so desperately needed. Something about that mirror wouldn’t leave him alone. He wasn’t particularly upset that it had broken, but he felt like there was something about it that he was missing. He just couldn’t put his finger on it right now. It was too late at night; he was too exhausted to properly think about it, but sleep still managed to escape him. He closed his eyes and tried counting sheep. He was asleep before he reached one hundred.

**X**

A few minutes after the Headmaster had retired and Yuuki had closed the bathroom door, Zero stood in the doorway, staring down at the shards of broken glass. Zero was so disgusted with himself. Even now, the smell of her blood made him hungry. After he had attacked her so, he would have thought the very idea of her blood would make him sick; but he had forgotten how the thirst worked. It didn’t care that he was disgusted with the idea; it had developed a taste for Yuuki. He swallowed back against the burn and forced his feet to carry him away from her bedroom. Every muscle in his body screamed at him to turn back, to partake in her blood again, but he forced himself to keep moving toward the Headmaster’s office.

The former hunter had shown him where he kept the cold blood bags earlier that day and informed him that from now on he would be drinking out of those when he got hungry. It had been humiliating to learn, but he understood. The blood tablets didn’t work for him; his thirst was getting too dangerous for him to keep using Yuuki as he was. He would lose control and kill her if he ever tried again.

He bent down and opened the small refrigerator. He pulled out one of the blood packets and curled up his nose at the unappealing smell. He forced himself to bite into the bag. The blood poured down in throat and threatened to make him gag. _‘Oh god…’_ He thought disgustedly. _‘It tastes like cough syrup mixed with bitter coffee.’_ His stomach turned, but he forced himself to drink it down. No matter how awful, it would satisfy his thirst.

After he had thrown the drained bag away and wiped his mouth of the ruminants, he returned back to his room to sleep the nausea away.

As he laid down to sleep, something occurred to him. The shattered mirror occurred to him. It had been completely broken out of the frame, not a trace of glass had remained. How could she have managed that without them hearing? And another thing…how had she broken the glass away from her? If she had just shattered the mirror with her shoe, why would her arms and legs be cut up like that? He furrowed his brows. The only explanation his tired, nauseated mind would think of was that she had jerked it off the wall and slammed it down repeatedly onto the floor, but had fallen when she tried to put it back up. The falling part certainly seemed like something Yuuki would do…but the smashing of the mirror? That would take an amount of anger that Zero had never seen in her. The mirror had been long and heavy. It would take more strength than he thought she had in her to smash it repeatedly on the ground. Then again…she was typically angry this time of year. It wasn’t always this obvious though. Usually, she tried to hide her negative emotions behind a smile; and usually, none of the household items suffered her rage.

Zero conceded. He was too tried; his mind was going around in circles. _‘I’ll think on it more tomorrow…’_ he thought as he closed his eyes to rest.

A few minutes later, he opened his eyes again. He just couldn’t let it go. ‘Well, since I’m not going to be able to sleep,’ he grumbled mentally as he stood from bed, ‘I may as well get it out of the way now.’ He walked out of his bedroom and down the hall to Yuuki’s room. Before he could worry about her being asleep, he saw the light shining threw her partially cracked door. He raised his hand and knocked before pushing it open the rest of the way. Yuuki looked over at him and gave him a slight smile. “Can’t sleep?” She greeted. He blinked; she sounded entirely too cheerful for it to be so late at night.

“You are going to be exhausted in the morning,” Zero commented as he sat down on her bed. She shrugged.

“I can’t sleep either,” she commented as she swept the pile of shards into the dustbin. Zero studied her while she wasn’t looking. First, his eyes moved over the slight cuts on her arms and legs. He found at least four Band-Aids where she thought the cuts had been deep enough for it to be necessary. The scent of her blood was overpowered by the smell of the antiseptic. He moved his eyes away from her slight injuries and to study her face. What stood out to him most were her eyes. She clearly wasn’t as bright as her attitude suggested. Her eyes were hollow; her smiles didn’t reach them. He frowned.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Hmm?” She drawled as she looked over at him, then she looked down at her arms and gave a quiet laugh. She brought a hand to the back of her head as she said, still with that false brightness, “yeah, I’m fine. Just a few scraps. They’ll be better before you know it!” She then smiled at him. Zero grit his fangs together and narrowed his eyes on her.

“Stop,” he barked. She jumped and lowered her hand to her side. She opened her mouth to say something, but Zero didn’t want to hear it. He couldn’t stand to hear more empty things. “Stop trying to pretend you’re okay. Stop trying to act like you aren’t afraid of me and stop trying to pretend that what happened in your past doesn’t bother you!” Yuuki blinked at his impassioned words. The look she gave him after his tirade stopped his heart. It was as if the walls she had erected had fallen. In this moment, she was baring her soul to him; he didn’t know if he could handle it. There was so much pain, so much fear, and so much anger in her eyes….and she hid it all behind a smile. She hid it in a cheerful laugh and unintentional comedy. Her soul had been suffering for years…probably longer than he had known her…and he had never known.

“Is that all you came in here to say?” She asked; that annoying false brightness was gone. It had been replaced by something much more cutting: nothingness. She sounded…she sounded exactly like Kaname Kuran. There was no emotion in her voice. Zero only shook his head in response. “Then get on with it. What else is there? What else would you like me to do for you?”

“Stop,” he whispered. Yuuki tilted her head.

“Stop? But I thought you wanted this, Zero? I thought you wanted to see what I looked like underneath all of my _pretending_.” Her lips curved into a frighteningly mocking smile. It was the kind of smile he frequently saw on Kuran’s face. It sent chills down his spine to see it emulated so perfectly on Yuuki’s sweet countenance. “Are you saying you want me to go back to-” Her words cut off in a gasp as Zero lurched forward and grabbed her hand. He jerked her into the circle of his arms and held her there.

 “Stop…” He whispered again; the sadness, the pure hurt in his voice caused Yuuki’s eyes to water anew. “Stop trying to deal with it all by yourself…” He plead. Yuuki buried her head into his shoulder and hid her face as if she were ashamed that the wall could witness her tears. “You’ve shouldered my burden for so long…let me return the favor,” he said softly as he raised a hand to her hair. He tangled his fingers through the soft strands and stroked her hair as she soaked his shirt with her tears.

 Yuuki curled her fingers into the back of Zero’s shirt as she sobbed. She cried not only for him, but for herself too. No matter how badly she wanted to share this “burden” with him, she knew she couldn’t. Her burden would suffocate him. _‘How can I share it with him…when it is his worst nightmare?’_ So, she ruined his shirt with her tears and kept silent; she let Zero continue to think that she couldn’t talk through her tears.

“Yuuki?” Zero called after a thirty minutes of listening to her cry. She had fallen silent; her shoulders had stopped shaking. He listened to her breathing and realized that she had fallen asleep. Gently and as carefully as he possible could, he tipped her back onto her bed. As he leaned her back, something fell out of the pocket of her nightgown and clunked to the floor. For the moment, he dismissed it; he would pick it up and put it on her nightstand later. Right now, he was only concerned with making her comfortable. As he covered her up, his foot knocked the square underneath the bed. He gave a quiet curse and bent down to find it. His hand closed around the square. His heart froze as he felt the familiar rising and dipping. He couldn’t unlock his hand from around it; he pulled it out from underneath the bed and stared numbly down at the pill box.

It took a few minutes for his mind to convince himself of what he was seeing. He blinked a few times as if willing the image on the box to change, but it didn’t. _‘Why does she have a box of blood tablets?’_ He wondered numbly as he looked up toward Yuuki’s sleeping form. No matter how hard he worked to put the pieces together, they just wouldn’t lock together. His mind was too horrified, too confused. Why? Why? Why did she have these in her pocket? Did she plan on throwing them at him the next time he lost control or seemed hungry? No, that didn’t sound like something she could do. But he couldn’t wrap his mind around the next option: that she had them for herself. Even though he couldn’t wrap his mind around it, he still wondered, _‘Has she been taking them?’_

There was only one sure way he knew to tell. The blood tablets left a slight taste behind on the taker’s lips. Zero stared at her lips and rolled his own together. _‘And do I really want to know?’_ He wondered as he watched her lips part with her gentle breathing. His own words came back to bite him as he stared at her. He had told Yuuki to stop pretending, but isn’t that what he was doing? He was pretending that he didn’t have suspicions; he was pretending that he wasn’t curious; and he was pretending that he wasn’t scared of the outcome. It was why he had been pushing back finding answer to the mystery that was Yuuki; he had simply used his attack against her person as an excuse.

Zero clenched his jaw and came to a conclusion. He had told Yuuki to stop pretending, so he would too. He wasn’t going to run from the answers anymore. He reached up and set the blood tablets onto her nightstand before pushing himself up onto his knees. For a moment, he recalled that almost kiss in the infirmary. He found it ironic that his first kiss with her would be while she was sleeping. If her lips were clean, it would be strange; but if her lips were bitter…the kiss would forever be tainted in his memory, stained with a heartbreaking realization. He braced himself for either possibility and leaned forward. He was struck instantly by the smoothness of her lips against his and how easily they molded to one another. He could feel her still steady breathing tickling his cheek. For a second, he savored the gentle press before pulling away. Once he was settled back onto his ankles, he ran his tongue over his lips. He clenched his eyes closed as if that would stop the truth from hitting him.

_Her lips were bitter._

Zero rose slowly from the floor, moved out of her bedroom, and down the hall. His mind was completely blank. He was too shocked. Suddenly, everything made sense; and then…nothing did. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it; his heart was in complete denial. He slowly closed the door to his bedroom and collapsed in front of it. He leaned his head back against the door and stared up at the ceiling as he tried in vain to process it.

All of his senses screamed that Yuuki was human. She smelled human; her blood tasted human. But those blood tablets suggested otherwise. Why would she take them? If she was human, she wouldn’t need them; and he couldn’t convince himself that she had been curious enough to try them.

He closed his eyes and fought for a way to look at this from all sides. He violently shoved his feelings for her aside and locked his perception of her as a human away as he forced himself to look at it from a hunter’s point of view.

He compiled a list of questions in his head that he knew any vampire hunter would ask:

_What made him think Yuuki could possibly be anything other than human?_ He picked apart the conversation he had overheard between Kaien and Kuran. Kaien’s statement about it being impossible for a human to know what the thirst was like would have tipped off any experienced hunter. Yuuki had described it in perfect detail. She had experienced it…even in only in a dream. It was a pain that couldn’t be passed off as anything usual. No sore throat could compare; no torture could come close; and no surgery could ever have such side effects. No human would ever be able to comprehend it.

_Why would a human suddenly experience the thirst?_ They wouldn’t. As he had said before, the thirst was vampire exclusive.

_Why would a human suddenly need blood tablets when they hadn’t previously?_ The answer doused him with cold water and electrocuted him. Horror filled him so potently that for a moment he couldn’t breathe. The only reason a human would ever need blood tablets was if they had been _bitten_ by a Pureblood vampire.

The conclusion any vampire hunter would come to was simple. Yuuki had been bitten by a Pureblood vampire; and the only one around for miles was Kaname Kuran. He had a special attachment to the girl. Any vampire hunter would assume that it was grooming. He had waited until she was old enough, until the blood was ripe, to partake.

Zero shook his head. _‘No,’_ he dismissed, _‘Kuran wouldn’t do that. He is a symbol of peace in the vampire community. He helped found the Academy. He wouldn’t jeopardize that.’_ Even though he told himself that, he still wondered, _‘what if it’s a cover? What if Kuran placed Yuuki in this house so that she would be protected until she was of age? He would make himself appear to be a good vampire, gain the trust of the Headmaster and Yuuki, so that when he did bite her…she would think she wanted it?’_

_“Kaname asked me if I would become a vampire. ‘Yes’ was all I could say to him.”_ Yuuki words came back to him. He paled, but then shook it away. He had searched her neck, smelled her. She hadn’t been bitten. Kuran hadn’t done it… _‘But it wouldn’t have left any evidence if he had healed the bite mark after he was finished…’_

Zero thumped his head back onto the door hard. He was running around in circles. His entire being was fighting against one another. The part of him that saw how Kuran cherished Yuuki rallied against the idea that the vampire would ever do anything like that to her; but the part of him that a vampire hunter and that hated Kuran with every cell in his body wanted to believe that he would. Zero thumped his head against the door again.

He needed to talk to Yuuki again.

If Kuran had truly bitten her, they would deal with that together. He knew what it meant to fall to Level E…and if she was starting…if she was starting she would need him.


	7. The Kuran Mansion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki finds herself in a spot of trouble when she sneaks out to go to the Kuran Mansion; meanwhile, Zero confronts the Headmaster about Yuuki’s past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Vampire Knight.

Yuuki had no idea where she was. She knew it wasn’t the bare room that she had normally appeared in. The room was still just as gorgeous. She looked around and saw red carpet, red curtains, and a darkly colored wall. It wasn’t quite black, but it wasn’t quite any other color either. The room was charming in design, still high quality. She jumped as a desk materialized into the corner of the room. She tilted her head and quietly called out:

“Um…younger version of me? Vampire me? Yuuki?” She had no idea what to call her. She heard a quiet giggle. Yuuki looked toward the giggle to find her on a couch in the middle of the room. The black leather couch somehow made the room. The leather shined in the low lighting of the room.  

“Where are we?” She asked as she walked toward the young girl and eased down on the couch beside her. The room was familiar; Yuuki knew she had been in it before, but she couldn’t place her finger on where she was.

“Onii-sama’s room,” she said as she kicked her feet gently against the couch. Yuuki’s eyes widened; her mouth fell open slightly. That was why this room was familiar. It was Kaname’s room at the Moon Dormitory.

“Um…why?” Yuuki questioned. She flushed and looked away from the child, but everywhere her eyes landed, they bounced away from. She was embarrassed, but…there was no reason for her to be. She was sitting on the couch with a younger version of herself; and they weren’t really in the room. Just a shade. Just a memory of the room. Granted, it was a perfect recreation of the room.

“I wanted it,” she shrugged. Yuuki looked back toward her younger version. A sad look filled her eyes as she muttered, “I’ve missed him.”

“But…”

“You’ve seen him almost every day since I was sealed?” The smaller version finished with a sad smile. Yuuki nodded. “It’s not the same. He looks at you…and he’s sad because he doesn’t see me. Things are difficult for him since you are a human. He can’t do all of the things he wants to do because he fears that he will freak you out.”

“Freak me out? Like what?”

“Remember how you reacted when you touched his fangs all those years ago? Or the way you reacted just only recently when he healed your elbow?” Yuuki nodded.

“I wouldn’t have reacted like that…and he knows that. He’s afraid of your reactions when he shows you the vampire side of him. He fears that you will fear him.”

“But…I…” Yuuki wanted to protest, but she found that she couldn’t. Because the younger version of herself was right. She had told Kaname that she was afraid of him. ‘Oh…how badly that must have hurt him,’ her eyes prickled with the sting of tears. ‘How could I have feared him?’ She questioned as she tried to wipe the tears away. The younger Yuuki clicked her tongue and touched her older self’s face; her small thumbs swept the tears away as she said softly:

“I do not blame you. For a human, Onii-sama is terrifying…” Yuuki swallowed. The words weren’t making her feel any better. Younger Yuuki smiled gently and asked, “do you still fear him, knowing what you do now?” Yuuki shook her head.

“How could I?”

“Exactly. Now that you know about me, now that you know who you are—even if you are still trying to fight it, you don’t fear him like you did. You fear what he has to _say,_ but you don’t fear _him._ ” She reassured her. Yuuki nodded, gifting her tinier self a small smile. “You are going to have to confront him soon.” Yuuki furrowed her brows and slightly tilted her head at the statement. Child Yuuki gave an exasperated sigh and an amused smile. She stood from the couch. “You really haven’t looked at me since you walked in, have you?” She giggled at the expression on her older self’s face.           

“You’ve grown!” Yuuki exclaimed as she looked at her other self. The girl that had once stood at her thigh now stood at her stomach. Yuuki estimated her age to be about seven years old. The young girl nodded in response to Yuuki’s surprise.

“I have,” she smiled happily.

“But why?” Yuuki asked.

“I’m not as constrained as I was before. Through you my powers are being implemented—though unintentionally. I think the more you accept me, the more I will grow.”

“What happens when you are the same age as me?” Yuuki asked, even though she already knew the answer. Still, her younger version humored her with a slightly sad smile.

“We will merge,” the young girl stared at her as she looked down at her hands. She jumped as a soft hand came up over hers. “You don’t need to fear it,” she told her reassuringly. “You won’t be written over or buried. I mean it when I say we will merge and simply that. I will simply awaken, but you will still be you…because, as you keep forgetting, I am you.”

“You seem so different from me though…” Yuuki muttered. “More mature.”

“I’m not,” the younger Yuuki disagreed. “I’ve spent this entire time watching. Watching your interactions with people around you, living them with you. I am just as attached to Zero as you; I’m just as attached to Yori as you. I am you. Your relationships are mine. Your experiences are mine. The only separation is that I am a vampire and you are human.” The smaller version looked up toward the ceiling. Yuuki’s eyes widened as the ceiling disappeared, opening up into the morning sky. Beautiful shades of orange, pink, and blue arched across the sky. Yuuki’s lips parted. “I had never seen this beauty before. I’d never seen the snow. I’d never been outside, but mother gave me that when she turned us human. She gave us the chance to experience the world as it should be. Tell me, in all the years since, have you been truly afraid?”

Yuuki stared at a painting mounted on the wall. Slowly, as she stared, it changed. Her experiences with that Level E in the snow—her first memory—and then the Level E’s she’d encountered since then flashed across the canvas, but she dismissed them. Those had been frightening, but nothing…absolutely nothing had beaten the fear that had swallowed her when she was in that basement, smelling her father’s blood and feeling her parents’ anger. Nothing had beaten the fear of watching Kaname walk toward the bad people. Yuuki blinked. ‘Huh?’ She looked toward her younger version. She was smiling.

“You _are_ accepting me; you’re accepting _your past_.” She sounded so relieved; Yuuki looked back toward the frozen painting. Now stilled on Kaname’s back as he walked away. Yuuki frowned. The panic she had felt as seeing that sight was still so fresh for her. She rewound the memory and stopped him at that gentle smile she had seen before. That gentle smile that she found in her memories that lit his face and touched his eyes. It was something the human Yuuki had never seen. Kaname had never smiled like that for her; it was always tinted with that deep loneliness. Both smiles were beautiful, but the smiles he had gifted vampire Yuuki were by far the best. Child Yuuki giggled. “You are cherishing our memories, but you are still viewing me as a stranger.”

“It will take some time...” Yuuki muttered. “For me to see our situation as you do.”

“I know. I am happy with what you have given me tonight.”

“Huh?”

“As I said, you are on your way.” She looked toward the frozen memory of Kaname’s smile. “You aren’t fighting our memories, our past. That is enough. Eventually, you will be able to accept what I know.” The soft smile on her lips faltered; she turned her eyes back to Yuuki. “You will have to confront him soon. Ask your questions.”

“How will I ask them without giving this,” she waved between them, “away?”

“You’ll figure it out,” she said dismissively.

“You mean you won’t help me?” Yuuki pouted. Child Yuuki smirked and shook her head.

“I don’t need too. You already know those answers because I know them.” Younger Yuuki winked. Yuuki opened her mouth to argue, to say that just telling her would be quicker, but she was waking up. She could feel it. She blinked her eyes open and saw her own ceiling at the Headmaster’s house.

“Damn…” She muttered as she sat up. She heard a quiet giggle in her head and rolled her eyes. Whatever amusement she felt soon vanished as she became aware of her scratchy, sore eyes and her itchy throat. She looked toward her alarm clock and yawned immediately. It was seven a.m. She collapsed back onto her bed and groaned. Her body was so used to waking up early that it didn’t care how much sleep she had gotten the night before. She pouted. Her dream…or encounter with the other Yuuki…had made it so that she couldn’t sleep. She was too confused by that answer. She pouted as she sat up and forced herself from bed. As she came down from her stretch, she brushed the nightstand. She started as her fingers tapped the blood tablet box. It tumbled from the nightstand and clacked to the floor. Without a further thought, she knelt down and picked them up as she stumbled to her closet and dressed. She slipped the blood tablets into the pocket of the red with white lines plaid skirt she intended to wear and slid it up her legs. She pulled a white long sleeved T-shirt out of her closet and slipped it over her head. She paired her outfit with a pair of white leggings.

Once she had pulled her hair out from underneath her shirt, she took the blood tablets out of her pocket. _‘I need to disguise these…’_ She thought. _‘If someone were to find them…especially someone in the Night Class or the Headmaster…it would be disastrous.’_ She chewed her bottom lip as she thought of something she could use. She snapped her fingers when it came to her. There was an almost empty bottle of pain pills in the medicine cabinet. She walked into the bathroom and rummaged through the cabinet until she found the bottle. She pulled it down and shook it carefully to see just how much was inside. She could hear one pill knocking around inside. Satisfied, she opened the bottle and dumped the only pill into her hand. She slipped the pill into her pocket as she grabbed the box of blood tablets. She plugged the sink with the stopper so that none of the pills would fall down the drain and used the pad of her thumb to push the lid of the blood tablets open. Carefully, she tilted the box so that all of the pills gathered at the sharp edge; she gingerly poured the pills into the empty bottle. Once the box was completely empty, Yuuki screwed the lid back onto it and closed the blood tablet box. She pocketed the Tylenol bottle and stared down at the empty blood tablet box.

_‘What to do with you? I can’t throw you away in the house. It would tip the Headmaster or Zero off to see an empty box of blood tablets in the trash…’_ Yuuki rolled her lips together and tapped the box against her hand as she tried to figure out where to dump it. Where could she go that would keep suspicion off her of? Just going into town wasn’t going to be enough. She sighed and pocketed the box. She thought on it even as she went through her morning routine.

It occurred to her as she rinsed her toothbrush out. She had the address to the Kuran Mansion. If she could find a way to sneak away and to avoid detection, she could dump the pills in a trash bin on the way. _‘So, I guess I’m really going, huh?’_ Yuuki asked herself as she stuck her toothbrush into the holder. She walked out of the room and shut the door behind her. As she walked down the hall toward the stairs, she thought of a way to make her idea happen.

First, she would have to come up with a plausible lie for the Headmaster. If she said that she was going to town to run errands, he would expect her to be back relatively soon; but if she said that she was going somewhere else…somewhere with distance—which she technically was—he would expect her back later. She thought on it as she moved downstairs. She could hear the Headmaster humming as he set the table.

“Good morning!” Yuuki greeted as she moved into the kitchen. He turned to her and smiled widely.

“Good morning, Yuuki!” He returned the greeting just as exuberantly as he said almost everything else. Yuuki walked past him and opened the cabinet that held their cups. She filled it with hot tea and sat down onto her chair. “What are your plans for today?” The Headmaster asked as he set breakfast in front of her.

“Thank you,” Yuuki muttered before she picked up her fork. She nibbled at her fried pork as she thought on her answer. “Yori asked me to visit her during the holidays. So, I think I’ll take a taxi to her house,” Yuuki answered. She was thankful Zero hadn’t come downstairs quite yet. She didn’t need it becoming obvious that she was lying. Yori didn’t want her to come visit during the holidays only because she didn’t want her to be exposed to her greedy father, but Yuuki knew the Headmaster would accept the answer easily. The Headmaster smiled and nodded excitedly.

“It would do good to get you out of the house, dear. You are looking entirely too pale,” he stated. She smiled slightly as she moved to her white rice. Nothing seemed to be satisfying her. It tasted as it always did, but for some reason it didn’t soothe her hunger. Yuuki moved to the rolls the Headmaster paired breakfast with, but even that tasted flat. Yuuki frowned, but she knew that she needed to eat. She gave a quiet mental sigh and forced the food down. Maybe it would occur to her later what it was she really wanted.

All through breakfast, Zero stayed upstairs. Yuuki frowned. _‘Is he not hungry? Is he alright?’_ Yuuki wondered as she gathered up her dishes and put them in the sink. She moved back upstairs and went to his door. Before she could reach it, she heard the water running in the bathroom. Suddenly, his absence made sense. Zero had gotten in the shower. He was fine. Just to be certain, Yuuki knocked on the bathroom door.

“Go away,” Zero’s voice drifted through the wood. Yuuki smiled. _‘Yeah, he’s fine,’_ she giggled. He didn’t sound as if he were thirsty or if anything was wrong. He sounded like normal Zero. She left the door and went back into her bedroom. She opened her nightstand and took the money that the Headmaster gave to her for weekly allowance. She pocketed the envelope and the piece of paper with the address on it and went back downstairs.

“I’m going!” Yuuki called as she slipped on her boots.

“Be careful!” The Headmaster called back from the kitchen.

**X**

Zero furrowed his brows as he searched the house. He had intended to confront Yuuki after his shower, but he couldn’t find her. She wasn’t in her room; she wasn’t in the kitchen; she wasn’t in the living room. He walked toward the Headmaster’s study; he could hear the man rummaging around in his office. He rubbed the back of his neck as he walked into the office.

“Where’s Yuuki?” Zero asked. The Headmaster lifted his head up from the drawer he was searching.

“She’s gone to visit her friend, Yori,” he said offhandedly as he pushed up his glasses. Zero furrowed his brows and tilted his head. That didn’t…sound right. He had been there the first time Yuuki asked about visiting over the holidays. Yori had told her that she didn’t want her to be exposed to her father, whatever that meant. Yori wouldn’t want Yuuki to risk trying to see her, but Zero kept that thought to himself. He turned and walked out.

“Ne! Zero!” The Headmaster shouted from the room. Zero sighed and walked backwards until he was in the archway again. “Have you been in here?” He asked. Zero arched an eyebrow and shook his head. “You’re sure?” He questioned as he set his lips to the side. Zero raised his eyebrows as if to say ‘obviously.’ The Headmaster sighed.

“Why?” Zero asked.

“One of the blood tablet boxes Kaname gave me for safekeeping is missing,” the Headmaster said as he rose from his bent position. “If you haven’t taken it, I’m going to have to assume it’s been misplaced. I’ll have to request another from him.” Kaien rose and shut the drawer. “But…I can’t figure out where it could have fallen out.”

Zero chewed the inside of his cheek and debated whether or not to bring up the blood tablets that Yuuki had stashed. He looked down at the desk and asked clearly, “is it possible that Yuuki may have taken them?” He watched the Headmaster’s reaction closely. He froze and slowly straightened. The suddenly playful attitude suddenly seemed forced. He smiled falsely and asked,

“Why would she do that?” Zero shrugged a shoulder. The Headmaster’s reaction had given him all that he needed. Zero had known that Kaien knew something of Yuuki’s past, but…now it was clear that Kaien had known Yuuki was a vampire, that Kaname had possibly bitten her. Now, the conversation he had overheard on the phone made more sense. He grit his fangs together so hard that he felt they would crack.

“How long?” Zero demanded through his clenched teeth. The Headmaster furrowed his brows.

“How long, what, Zero-kun?”

“HOW LONG HAS YUUKI BEEN A VAMPIRE?!” Zero shouted as the anger he had buried broke free.

Kaien closed his eyes as he processed the young man’s scream. Suddenly, all of the questions, all of the looks made sense. Zero had somehow figured out what Yuuki truly was. He had somehow put the carefully hidden pieces together. The moment the former hunter had dreaded was here. Zero knew and now, now Kaien would have to watch the boy’s world fall apart. Kaien sighed. Suddenly, he truly felt his years.

“How long have you known?” Kaien asked as he eased himself down onto his seat. Zero clenched his fists at the question.

“Since last night. I found blood tablet pills in her pocket. They leave a bitter taste,” Zero traced his bottom lip with his thumb. The Headmaster raised his eyebrows, but made no comment. Instead, he sighed. He folded his hands together and confessed the story.

“Yuuki has been a vampire since birth.” Zero’s breath left him at the admission. Zero, of course, knew what that meant. He stared at the Headmaster in complete horror as he eased himself down onto the floor. The Headmaster watched him sadly as he continued, “Kaname knew her before she lost her memories, but he was too young to take care of her as he had pledged, so he brought her to me.” Zero had no questions. The answer the Headmaster had given him had taken…everything out of him. Yuuki had been a vampire since birth. She hadn’t been turned. She hadn’t been bitten. She had been born one. What did that mean for him? What did that mean for her?

“But…she’s…” He couldn’t form the words because his mind still wasn’t coping with the information the Headmaster had just dumped upon him.

“Human?” The Headmaster smiled sadly and shook his head, “no, Zero. Her mother sealed the vampire inside of Yuuki away so that she would remain undetected.”

“Does…does she know?” He asked quietly. His mind traveled back to the night before when he had confronted Yuuki. Her sadness in her eyes, the way she’d cried until he feared she’d get sick…She had known. She probably hadn’t known long, but somewhere, sometime she had figured it out.

“From what you’ve told me, I think she’s beginning to figure it out,” Kaien sighed and closed his eyes. Zero kept last night to himself and looked up at the Headmaster.  

“Will you tell Kuran?” Zero asked with a tight swallow. Kaien raised his eyebrows at the question.

“Don’t you think I should?” He asked in return. Zero shook his head.

“I think…this is something they have to work through themselves.” _I don’t want him to take her from us yet._ It was a sentiment that hung between them. Kaien and Zero shared that sentiment. The former vampire hunter nodded his head.

“Then I won’t tell him,” Kaien promised. Zero swallowed and nodded. A moment, a promise to keep Yuuki’s knowledge a secret, passed between them. It was their own pledge. They would keep Yuuki with them for as long as they could.

Zero stayed in the Headmaster’s office for only a few seconds longer. As he walked down the hall, he wondered, _‘why didn’t Kuran tell Yuuki? Why didn’t he ever say anything to Yuuki?’_ It was clear to Zero that Kuran longed to steal her away; it was one of the reasons he hovered whenever they interacted. His eyes narrowed.

For the first time in years, he couldn’t wait until the school year started.

**X**

Yuuki sat in the taxi cab, watching the buildings pass by. She didn’t recognize any of the buildings the vehicle flew by. She was truly out of her comfort zone here. She moved her hand to the outside of her thigh, and pressed her hand over her skirt. She could feel the familiar weight of Artemis resting on her thigh and it brought her some comfort. She did recognize one building they passed. It was the abandoned building in which the Aidou family held that soirée. It passed just as she caught sight of it.

“Why do you want to go there?” The elderly man asked as he drove, referencing the address she had given him. He clarified as he turned a corner, “It’s been empty for years.”

“I have a report at school on the structure of ancient houses.” She made it up on the spot. “So, I searched houses in the area like that on google. This was the closest one to where I lived,” Yuuki smiled. She was careful to keep all traces of the lie off of her face. The elderly driver scratched his head.

“Some class you got there…encouraging young girl to go off on their own to desolate places,” Yuuki was touched by the man’s evident concern for her, a complete stranger.

“I’ll be alright. I have someone meeting me there,” she reassured him. They didn’t speak anymore for the rest of the drive. Remembering her concerns, she asked the man to stop before they entered the wood. He looked over his shoulder at her; his aged brown eyes held his worry. “My friend said he would meet me here.” The elder man studied her for a moment before he reached into his glove department and pulled something out. He handed it back to Yuuki with a small smile.

“It’s clear that I can’t convince you not to wait, so I’m going to give you this.” He pressed a can of mace into Yuuki’s hand. She blinked down at the can and back up at the man. He smiled slightly. “My daughter is the same age as you,” he explained, “I wouldn’t want my little girl going into a strange wood to _meet a friend_ without protection.” Yuuki flushed as she caught the double meaning in his words. He thought that this was a secret rendezvous with a man.

“Thank you, sir,” she stuttered, thoroughly embarrassed. The man chuckled.

“I hope that you won’t need it,” he wished her well as she got out and shut the door. She gave him a friendly smile as he drove away. She saw him wave through the back glass. Her heart ached at having to lie to such a nice man. She let her smile drop as she turned around and headed down the well-kept path that led to the mansion. At first glance, she could see that the place had been well-taken care of. None of the path was overgrown. As she broke through the trees, her thought that it was well looked after was established even more. The entire mansion looked as though it was being lived in. The white, seamless brick had been repainted recently. Even the door had gotten the same tender care. As soon as she stepped onto the cobblestone leading up to the mansion, her senses came alive.

There was someone or something in the woods, watching her. She forced herself to keep her hand away from Artemis; she wanted the element of surprise if they came for her.

_‘Keep calm,’_ she warned herself as she walked closer to the mansion. Her feet clicked quietly against the nicely maintained brick. _‘Look for animals,’_ the thought filtered into her mind. She knew it wasn’t one of her own, but a thought from her other self. She blinked. _‘They would be looking right at this house.’_ Yuuki didn’t question her younger self’s advice. She scanned the surrounding area for any out of place animals. She blinked as she found herself eye to eye with a bat. He was perched high up in a tree, hanging upside down. His red eyes were boring into her. He tilted his head.

“Um…” she muttered as she stared at the animal.

_‘GET INSIDE!’_ Yuuki jumped at the frightened demand. The fear her other self was feeling transferred into her. She dashed the rest of the way across the stone and up the stairs. She hit the door hard and opened it. She slammed the door behind her and leaned against it.

_'What the hell was that?!’_ She demanded of her younger self.

_‘Father and Mother could use animals like that to guard us. I just remembered once, when Onii-sama and I were left home alone Mother would leave one of her doves perched on the couch. The owner of that bat probably isn’t far behind. Try to find an escape route, but don’t go back through the front door.’_

“You wouldn’t happen to know of a way out would you?” Yuuki asked as she looked around the room. There were white tarps covering the furniture. She could see that paintings had been removed from the wall and propped against it; the same white tarp that covered the furniture was wrapped around them. Two matching staircases ran up to a balcony like setting. The entrance to the mansion reminded her awfully lot of the Night Class dorm.

_‘Um…no. I’ve never been up here before. I’m just as lost as you are…’_ She said regretfully.

_‘It’s alright…’_ She reassured herself. _‘I’ll just…head this way.’_ Yuuki walked toward the left staircase. There, a few feet from the stairs, was an archway. She stepped through it cautiously. She expanded her senses to the best of her ability. Yuuki’s heart stuttered as her senses expanded upon her usual range. She could hear the birds chirping outside, the insects crawling across the leaves, and even the wind whistling through the trees. She pulled her senses back to her sharply. She fell against the wall in shock.

_‘Don’t let it overwhelm you,’_ the younger version of herself reminded. Yuuki nodded sharply and pushed away from the wall. She looked around the long hallway. There was a door at the end of the hallway that stood out from the rest. While Yuuki didn’t know the setup of this place, she did know the Night Class dorm. There was a basement door at the end of one of their many hallways. She walked toward that last door and tried to open it. This one door didn’t seem to want to budge. She threw her body against it and screamed as the door gave way. Rust rained down around her from the hinges as she fell in. She managed just barely to catch herself against the wall. The stairs loomed underneath her. She breathed a sigh of relief and carefully made her way down the stairs. She peeked in through the first door. Her eyes widened as she immediately recognized the room. It was her room, that bare room. It had been a basement. She swallowed and entered the room.

It took her a moment to realize that the room and the corresponding hallway had been shroud completely in darkness yet she could see. She tried not to let that knowledge frighten her as she moved around the room. Though the door to the basement had been rusted and in a state of disarray, this room was well-kept. A white tarp had been draped over all of the furniture.

_'We don’t have time to sight see,’_ the voice reminded her. _‘Remember the bat.’_ As if beckoned by the silent call, she heard the front door upstairs open and close. Her heart skipped a beat. Voices. A lot of voices were talking. She heard the leader mention something about splitting up and searching the house. She launched immediately into action. Yuuki leapt over the couch, vaulted off the top of the coffee table, and ran out the door. She stopped when she spotted a door unlike all the rest. It was metal. She walked toward. _‘Why did we have a metal door?’_ She wondered, not catching the use of “we” instead of “they”. She rolled her lips together. She couldn’t see a handle. She felt around the door on a hunch. Her eyes widened when she found a little groove. She pulled. The door groaned but didn’t budge. She pulled harder, throwing all of her weight back onto her heels. Like the first time, it budged but it didn’t open. Yuuki straightened up and let go of the little groove. Her hands were shaking and hurting from the cuts the rusty groove had made. She rubbed them onto her skirt and stared at the door. She didn’t have time to think long; she could hear someone making their way toward the basement door. She had left it open.

**_“Open,”_** the voice that escaped her lips didn’t sound completely like hers. It was tinted with more command and confidence than Yuuki had ever used. She blinked. Her lips…she hadn’t willed them to move. Yuuki knew immediately that the other version of her had taken over her body, but she didn’t stop to ponder it. The person was on the stairs now. She darted in through the door before it was fully open and grabbed the handle. She jerked it closed behind her. She didn’t stop to see if it latched. She simply ran. Her newly improved senses could pick up the person outside trying to open the door, but being unsuccessful. It brought her a slight relief. That relief vanished when she heard him raise the alarm for the others.

“Know any cool tricks that’ll help me escape?” She panted as she ran.

_‘I’m afraid not. Mother and Father were careful not to show off in front of me. They didn’t want me to get any ideas.’_ Yuuki huffed.

“Great. I’ll just keep running then and pray that they don’t _figure out_ how to open that door!”


	8. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaname is altered to the danger Yuuki has found herself in, but she has made saving her harder than it should be as she runs, unknowingly, from him as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

Kaname was jolted awake by a feeling of intense fear and urgency. He sat up so quickly that his head spun. Not a second after his waking, there was a frantic screeching and scratching coming from the window. Kaname rushed for the window and threw open the latch. The bat merged with his chest the moment the door was opened. Immediately, he knew everything his bat had. His eyes widened as he saw just what had caused the emotions that had woken him.

His breathe left him in a panicked huff. The lamp above him exploded as it took the force of his shock and his fear. Yuuki had somehow found the mansion; Ichio had dispatched some of the Senate henchmen to punish the trespasser. He had no doubts about what Ichio had in mind for her. He had to reach her before they did. He threw away all caution in his desperation.       

The maid screamed as she opened the bedroom door. The letter from the Senate Head, Ichio Ichijou, shot from her hands as she jumped. All she could see was a mass of bats escaping out of the window. She pressed her hand to her chest and thunked back against the wall. Shock radiated through every bone in her body. She couldn’t make sense of what she had just seen. She knew, like every vampire did, that Purebloods were on a totally different level of power; but she didn’t think anyone knew just how much because she was fairly certain that she had witnessed Kaname-sama explode into a colony of bats.

She closed the door slowly, as if she hadn’t seen a single thing. She set the letter down outside as she probably should have in the first place and walked off down the hall.

**X**

Yuuki kept her exceptional senses expanded over the area as she ran. She could feel the vampire version of her shimmering close to the surface, right there beside her consciousness. Pressing against the wall of what made Yuuki her. She trusted her not to step through it and take over her body as she pressed herself to run harder. As if she could outrun the fear her vampire self-caused by being so close that fragile wall.

 _‘You are going to pay for all of this later,’_ the vampire warned her.

 “If I get out of this,” Yuuki panted.

_‘You will.’_

“Glad one of us has confidence.”

_‘You should too. After all, I am you.’_

“You say that a lot.”

 _‘I’m waiting for it to fully sink in for you. You’re still separating us in your mind. I’m the **Vampire Yuuki** ,’ _she gave sarcastic quotation marks that Yuuki’s hands twitched with the need to echo, _‘and you are simply Yuuki.’_ She lowered her hands. The annoying twitch stopped. _‘Do you not realize I am the true version of you?’_ She asked bitterly. Her anger and bitterness filtered into Yuuki. She channeled all of it into her running, to give her more of reason to ignore the burning in her legs and the screaming of her legs.

_‘I realize that, but you said you wouldn’t overwrite me.’_

_‘I CAN’T OVERWRITE YOU! **I AM YOU!** **YOU ARE ME!** GEEZ! WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THAT?!’_

_‘Calm down! You’re starting to influence me! This is not the time nor the place to be freaking out about technicalities! I told you it would take me some time to fully come to terms with what you unloaded on me! Besides, I thought you were happy with what I had given you!’_

_‘Well, given the situation we’re in, I’m getting **a little** **impatient!** ’ _

_‘A little?!’_

_‘Oh! Just shut up and run!’_

_‘I haven’t stopped!’_

_‘It feels like you’re crawling!’_

_‘Oh my god,’_ Yuuki laughed. _‘I’m arguing with myself; isn’t that considered the first sign of the truly insane?’_ The other version—no, the other Yuuki—giggled at their absurdity too.

Whatever humor Yuuki found in this moment was erased when both her senses prickled sharply. _‘Above?!’_ She realized as she screeched to a halt. Suddenly, a shadow fell over the passageway. Yuuki’s head snapped to the small caging made out of vines just in the time see feet coming toward it. She shot back a few steps to avoid being stepped on by the person who broke through them. Her hand fell to Artemis before her feet fully hit the ground. It was the one of the Senate henchmen. They had found another way to her.

She was already swinging Artemis toward his head before he fully straightened. She clocked him soundly across the temple; he went down in a pile of black, unconscious. “Sorry!” She apologized to his fallen form as she jumped over him. “I know I’m the one at fault here, but you know…I can’t really let you catch me.” Her words faded as she ran.

Her attention was so fully focused on escaping the situation and staying out of harm’s way that she didn’t realize Artemis was lashing out at her. Electricity danced over her hands and against her palms, lighting the place needlessly. The adrenaline in her body kept her from realizing the pain of her flesh burning. She was too on guard, too frightened.

**X**

Kaname sent a bat inside the mansion to survey the situation; he needed to know if they had found Yuuki. The small animal perched on one of the banisters. Through its eyes, Kaname could see one of the glasses-wearing henchmen holding his ear.

“We haven’t found her yet, Ichio-sama, but some of the men have found a way into the tunnel.” His heart skipped. _‘Tunnel?’_ His eyes widened. _‘The mountain pass!’_ “She should be trapped,” he added with sick glee. The bat’s eyes glowed red with Kaname’s rage. _‘No! I will not lose her to these weak henchmen!’_

He spotted some of the henchmen slipping into the mountain pass via a vine alcove that his mother and father had left to let some air in. He narrowed his eyes. A tree splintered down the middle as he heard Yuuki’s scream.

**X**

They had fallen down on her before she could move. One of them had driven his hand through her shoulder as she jumped back. She watched through narrowed eyes as he licked his fingers and smirked.

“What business do you have in coming here, little girl?” He asked as his companions straightened. Yuuki simply glared at them and clutched Artemis tighter. She would not be beaten here. There was still so much to do. _‘Onii-sama…’_ The thought passed through her mind of its own accord; the other Yuuki hadn’t said it or forced it on her. _‘I’m not going to leave you._ ’

The henchmen stepped back as her eyes glowed red. Until this moment, they had sensed not even a tickle of a vampire’s aura. They had only sensed human innocence, but now she burned them with it. It circled around them and filled the narrow passageway. Her aura, so strong and so volatile, stole their breath from their lungs and threatened to suffocate them.

 **“You will not stop me from getting out of here,”** she declared. Her voice unconsciously embedded with the same power she had used to open the door back at the mansion. She lifted Artemis, unaware that she had bound them to the floor with her words. Her eyes widened when the henchmen knelt to the floor and pressed their fists over the heart.

“Forgive us, Pureblood-sama, for our transgressions,” Yuuki’s surprise caused her powers to fluctuate. Instead of the wall, or one of the alcoves, she struck the one who had harmed her. His shoulder tore in the same place he had harmed her. Her eyes widened in horror as she watched the blood splatter across the wall and the floor. She clutched Artemis tighter, thinking that he would retaliate. To her immense surprise, he did not even try. He simply wobbled on his knees. The rest of the henchmen stared at her in fear and acceptance.

“That is fair, Pureblood-sama,” the injured one croaked. “After all, I dealt you a serious blow.” She swallowed; she didn’t want him to reason it away. It was too creepy. It made her feel worse for the slip. She already felt wretched. Her shoulder was throbbing. ‘ _Now his is too,_ ’ she thought with some dark amusement. She flinched at the thought and bowed slightly to the henchmen.

“Sorry,” she apologized to him as she ran past them. Her mind raced as she ran. She forced herself to think clearly. _‘I need to get out of here before more find me. If something like that happens again, it may not be their shoulder. I could kill them…or…or I could bring down the entire passageway trying not to.’_ She stopped and looked up. _‘They’ve been getting in through the holes on the surface. Maybe I can get out through one.’_

Her objective during running became different. Find a hole. Find leverage. Find a way up instead of simply running.

**X**

Kaname landed in the passageway, right in front of the henchmen that had dropped in on Yuuki. He stared down at them, curious as to of why they were already on their knees and as to of why one was injured. Yuuki would not have done that; at this time, Artemis was not equipped to deliver a blow like that; but…she was the only other one in the room with them. All other signs pointed toward it being her. It was then that he smelled it. Yuuki’s sweet blood was on the hand of one of the men.

“Kuran-sama!” The injured henchman gasped as he struggled to raise his hand to his chest and avoid the deep wound. He stared at the hand dangling. Yuuki’s blood dripped out from underneath his nails. His eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?”

The henchmen were already spooked by the appearance of not one but two Purebloods; and they were only more unnerved by the glowing of his eyes and the dangerous dance of his aura. Kaname Kuran was very angry; and it wasn’t over a simple trespasser into his family home. No, he was angry with them. They paled.

To spill the blood of a Pureblood was the ultimate crime. They had been confused when the Lady had spared them, but it was very clear that Kaname Kuran would not.

**X**

Yuuki startled as a harsh wind picked up from behind her. The overwhelming smell of blood followed. Yuuki cringed. _‘Something bigger and more dangerous has arrived…’_ The icy finger of fear ran down her back at the thought. She couldn’t let that someone catch her. She ran faster; her eyes desperately scanning the top of the tunnel for somewhere she could get out. Relief coursed through her as she found her opening.

She stopped. Artemis would cause a problem. She was going to have to pry her hands free from the staff before she could escape. She rolled her lips together and bent so that she could put Artemis on the ground. Even the simple movement irritated her shoulder. She grimaced. She was about to irritate the wound even more. She placed her foot on the staff. She gave a quiet whimper of fear at the oncoming pain and clenched her eyes tight. This was going to hurt. Oh…it was going to hurt so badly! She grit her teeth as pushed the thought away. She took a deep bracing breath and shoved her foot down while pulling back with her upper body. She shrieked out as the flesh that had burned around the rod ripped free. She tumbled back onto her bottom as her hands tore free from the rod, but she was quickly distracted by the pain in her shoulder. The move had ripped her skin even more. Tears stung her eyes as the pain in her hands added to the already throbbing pain of her shoulder. She wanted so badly to remain on the ground. Her injuries were causing her so much pain that she didn’t want to move, but she had too. Whatever had caused that gust of wind was close behind her. If she didn’t move, she would certainly be caught by the man or woman who was in charge of it. She stood up and looked down at the Artemis Rod. It looked so innocent lying there, but she knew the minute she picked it up it would become like a lightning rod. She sighed and resigned herself; she bent down and lifted the rod. Only…it didn’t hurt her. She furrowed her brows.

 _‘I must not be channeling her anymore,’_ she realized. She didn’t linger on the change long. She slid it into the holster at her thigh and turned to look at the wall she was going to use to vault herself toward those roots that dangled over the opening. She found her spot and ran toward it; at the last moment, she jumped up and planted both feet into the wall and shoved off. She gave a quiet yelp as she grabbed a hold of the roots above the opening. Her hands protested loudly, but her shoulder protested even louder. With a herculean effort, she forced the pain into the back of mind and began to swing. Once she had lined herself up perfectly with the hole, she let go. Her feet broke through the weak obstruction of vines. She tumbled onto the snow. She used this time to glance down at her hands. She flinched and drew in a hiss.

 Her hands were completely blistered; along her knuckles and palms were deep abrasions. The deep wounds were in the shape of the Artemis Rod. She wanted to bury her hands in the snow to numb them, but she didn’t have that kind of time. She was out in the open now; the Senate henchmen were probably everywhere; and she was still bleeding from her shoulder. She sighed. _‘I need to hide or run,’_ she realized. But…where would she go? She wasn’t inside the passageway anymore. She could get lost if she went the wrong way.  

She rolled her lips together. She couldn’t go back through the tunnel. That powerful person was down there, probably looking for her. She wouldn’t survive an encounter like that.

 _‘I suppose…I’ll have to take my chances out in the open,’_ she reasoned. _‘Until I’m certain whoever it is down there has lost me.’_

**X**

Kaname moved past the ash that was the henchmen and quietly called Yuuki’s name into the tunnel. She couldn’t have gotten far, not with her shoulder torn. He followed the blood that had obviously been dripping from her shoulder; his rage against the Senate mounted with every step…as did his fear. Yuuki was losing blood and she was losing it fast. He stopped when he saw the imprint of Artemis on the ground. Blood surrounded the imprint. His eyes widened; his heart hammered as his mind created scenario after scenario…all ending with Ichio having Yuuki in his twisted hands. Somewhere above another tree rent in half.

**X**

Yuuki’s head jerked up as the tree closest to her split down the middle. One half was coming toward her. She dove out of the way as it landed right where she had been sitting. It fell into the tree across from it and knocked it over. Yuuki’s heart pounded as she stared at the splintered tree. No, her perceived notion of it splitting was wrong. The tree hadn’t split; it had been blown apart. Like the mirror, it had been torn apart from the inside. She swallowed and stood shakily to her feet.

Some instinct told her that whoever controlled the wind that had ripped around the Senate henchmen was the one who had done that. Her fear only increased when she heard something coming from inside the tunnel. Her eyes widened as she registered the sound. It wasn’t quite a scream, but it was a moan. A loud pain filled moan that sounded so desperate in nature. It was such a frightening sound that it inspired Yuuki to move. She didn’t know why the person or thing inside the tunnels had made such a noise, but she knew she didn’t want to stick around to find out.

**X**

Kaname forced himself to calm down before he brought the entire mountain side down around him. The only scent in this area had been Yuuki’s. He lifted his noise and sniffed the air. He tracked her scent from the blood stains to the wall. She seemed to have propelled herself off of the wall and to the opening. He could now see the broken bits of vine on the ground. She had escaped. He breathed a sigh of relief, but that relief quickly turned. She was bleeding profusely from the wound on her shoulder; and now she was out in the cold. She was out in the open on a rather treacherous mountain top.

He sighed. _‘At least, she will be easy to find,’_ he sighed. Up there, Yuuki would leave prints; her blood trails would be easier to see on the white snow. _‘But what is an advantage for me will also be an advantage for the Senate.’_ He acknowledged with a curl of his lip. Once again, he separated his consciousness into many bats and left out the opening Yuuki had created. 

**X**

Yuuki made it only a few yards away from her little opening. She was stopped by an odd tingling sensation in her shoulder. She froze; her mind created a thousand scenarios, but poison coated nails kept coming back around. Frantically, she peeled back the scraps of her coat and shirt. She looked down at the wound. It didn’t look as if it were getting infected. In fact, the redness she thought would be surrounding the wound was gone; even the bleeding had stopped. _‘It even looks smaller some-’_ before she even finished the thought, the tingling sensation picked up again. She watched, completely astounded, as the torn flesh began to stitch itself together. _‘Wha…’_ In a matter of seconds, a wound that had been deep enough to scrap the bone healed over. Fear drummed through her in response.  

 _“Vampires heal at an increased rate,”_ her own memory of the Headmaster’s voice filled her mind. _“No matter the injury sustained, it will be gone within a few hours. The only exception to this is if the vampire in question has been injured by a vampire hunter’s weapon.”_

Yuuki looked down at her hands, still raw and still bleeding. She sighed. _‘So…these won’t heal right, hmm? I’ll have to heal at a human rate?’_ Yuuki didn’t seem to notice the way she referred to herself, _‘Oh man…that’s going to suck for classes…’_

Her attention was jerked back to her landscape by a branch popping high up in a tree. She looked up; her heart in her throat. A vampire from the Senate was perched on a branch, staring down at her with red eyes. His mouth was curved into a feral, threatening smile. For a moment, they simply stared at one another. He licked his lips.

“Aren’t you going to run?” He asked. Yuuki narrowed her eyes at him. She expanded her senses once again and felt them. Over ten vampires waited just over the hill. Despite the pain in her hands, she grabbed Artemis from its holster. Like before, it burned her already mangled hands. Despite the added pain, she didn’t drop it. The henchman laughed. Before he could mock her further or possibly draw the attention of the vampires over the hill, Yuuki decided.

She bent at the knees and propelled upward to the branch. He shot backward. “Oh! You are trying to attack me!” He laughed as he landed on the ground. Yuuki jumped off of the branch after him. “How entertaining!” He cackled. Yuuki’s eyes narrowed. He was truly delighted that she was going to fight him. He craved the violence. And she could smell it: young, innocent blood. By the completely elated look on his face, the way his eyes lingered on the blood on her shirt, she knew. She knew what he planned. He wouldn’t bring her to the Senate head. No, he would devour her. She narrowed her eyes. _‘He will try. The smell of him is foul. The wickedness of his soul is blatant.’_

“You’re disgusting,” she snarled. “I can smell the blood of your victims on you!” She declared as she arched Artemis down toward his head. He jumped back; surprise widening his eyes. The force of her blow was taken out on the snow. Snow exploded; an electric charge shot out from the snow. He hissed. The snow somehow burned him. His eyes widened further as the trees around him splintered underneath the force of the charge. She picked up her weapon and looked at him; the pure rage in her eyes took her back. “You remind of me that man,” she hissed. “False politeness as you ask for something you intend to wholly take.” She launched toward him. The force of her coming knocked up a pouf of snow. He shifted his stance; spread his legs and braced himself in the snow. His nails sprung free, sharp and crooked. His lips twisted in a grin. Yuuki didn’t let such a sight deter her from her objective. For the first time in her life, she wanted to truly take his head off.  

He swept at her with his freakishly long nails. She slid down underneath him; her eyes widened as a blade sprung free from Artemis. Before it crossed her mind to turn the blade away from his midsection, the damage was done. The blade hooked his shoulder and her weight and the velocity of her slide aided the blade. The Senate henchman was sliced in half. Blood didn’t even have time to fall. Artemis had sliced cleanly through his heart. He exploded in a rain of ash, staining the snow a dark grey. Yuuki rose onto her knees and looked down at the newly transformed Artemis. The staff had become a scythe. Yuuki dipped both corners of her lips downward and nodded her approval and shock at the change. She gently turned Artemis in her hands, examining it from all sides.

“Well,” she breathed. “Okay then.” _‘Back to trying to get off this mountain side…’_ Yuuki swung the scythe around so that it rested behind her; she kept it out just in case anymore henchmen were in the area. She closed her eyes and expanded her senses.

Colors bloomed behind her eyelids. Her heart skipped. _‘Oh my…’_ she thought. _‘How am I doing…you know what…never mind. I’m not going to try and find out why I’m able to do what I can do…’_ She pushed her curiosity away and focused on this new development. The variety of colors—all dark—were in the form of people. She counted twelve in total. It took her only a second later to realize that these people were the Senate henchmen. Her heart skipped a small beat. There were so many of them for her. She could see their mouths moving, more than likely discussing strategy. One of them shifted their foot forward. Yuuki realized with a sharp thrill of anticipation and slight fear that they were planning to come up the hill. She stepped back. Her heart skipped as she noticed another color rushing toward her from behind. It was a dark, rose red. The shape was moving fast and it was almost on her. Yuuki gasped and whirled around; her eyes were open wide. She had Artemis arching around her body and at the shape before she even fully turned around. She had turned soon enough to kill the person, but she had turned soon enough to stop him. She followed the rod up to the blade. Her breathe caught in her chest; her heart slowed. Kaname Kuran was frozen inches from her; Artemis’ blade rested just against his jugular. She stared at him in complete shock. Just the sight of Artemis’ blade so close to a vital part of him made her freeze up.

“Kaname,” she breathed. Her eyes locked onto the blade as she smelt blood tinting the air. Yuuki swallowed _. ‘He’s bleeding. It…smells sweet.’_ She watched the blood trace along the blade with an eerie focus. She realized not a second later that she was stared at Kaname’s blood. Kaname was in front of her now. This wasn’t an injury of her own that was causing her hunger; this was Kaname. She jerked her eyes away from the blade and closed her eyes. _‘Please, please don’t let my eyes turn red…’_ She begged before opening them again.

“Yuuki.” Kaname called quietly. The sound of his voice snapped her out of the haze that his blood had put her in. She jerked Artemis away from his neck and stepped back. She collapsed Artemis quickly and tucked it into the holster. Her lips moved to form her apology, but he didn’t give her the chance. He smiled grimly and commented, “You’ve been busy.” She flushed.

“I…uh…you see, Kaname…” She couldn’t think of an excuse. She didn’t want to lie to him, never to Kaname. She stared at him, helplessly.

“Let’s postpone all talk until you are safe,” he said softly as he gently took her by the hand. She saw his frown as he felt the injuries on her hand. She watched as he raised her hand to his lips and turned her hand so that her palm faced him. He pressed a kiss to the center of her hand. Her heart skipped at the gentle pressure; that familiar tingling that had spread through her shoulder moved through her hand as his healing abilities aided it in healing.

“I thought we were in a hurry,” Yuuki breathed as she looked into his eyes. They hadn’t left hers. His expression was so…intense. So sad. Once all Yuuki could see was smooth skin, Kaname pressed a kiss onto her palm before lifting the other one.

“They cause you pain; so, I will make time,” Kaname told her before he gave her left hand the same treatment. Yuuki flushed, but smiled softly at him.  

“Thank you, Kaname,” she whispered, not bothering with the honorific. She knew she was in trouble now. Kaname had caught her outside of his family home. That was going to cause questions. She had aroused his suspicions. _‘Onii-sama is like a blood hound when he senses something out of the ordinary. How persistent is he going to be now that he knows something is up with me?’_ She wondered with a taste of dread _. ‘Ohhh….this conversation is going to be so dreadful…’_ And Yuuki knew there would be a conversation. Kaname never said things needlessly; when he said that they would postpone talking…she knew that they would be talking. She was going to have to explain to him why she was here…and she had no idea what she was going to tell him. She knew that he wouldn’t let this one go. 

 _‘But…’_ she smiled, _‘at least I’ll be with Kaname…’_ Her attention was pulled away from her thoughts back to Kaname when he pressed another gentle kiss to her palm. She blinked as Kaname lowered her hand back down between them.

“Close your eyes,” Kaname suggested quietly. Yuuki did so without question. “This is going to feel strange,” he warned her. Yuuki opened her mouth to ask what would, but the words never left her. Something hot and furry folded around her. Despite his warning, her eyes snapped open. Something black was wrapped around her. Before fear could latch onto her, she reminded herself that this was Kaname. It was Kaname surrounding her…and suddenly this blackness didn’t seem so scary. She relaxed against the mass and closed her eyes again.

 _‘I’m so tired,’_ she thought. _“You’ve been busy.”_ Kaname’s voice entered her head again; the memory of his dark amusement caused her to flush. _‘You’d think I’d space out my injuries,’_ she joked to herself _. ‘At least by a few days.’_ It wasn’t just her injuries or the running she had been doing that exhausted her; it was the recent discovery about herself, the fits of thirst, explosions of power, and the stress of trying to hide it. Just thinking of it all defeated her. The tiredness in both her mind and body overtook her. Her eyelids dipped down heavily. Even in this strange form, Kaname gave her the comfort she needed to fall asleep.

For the first time in months, _she felt safe_.


	9. Out of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaname and Yuuki have the conversation that she had been trying to put off. The results are better than Yuuki could have ever expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

He could see it from the sky: his hiding place away from his everyday life. Kaname flew in through one of the busted windows on the lower level. Years before he had bought the place, the stairs had caved in. There was no getting up to the upper levels unless one was gifted or extremely determined. The stairs however were not the only deterrent. Dead wires hung from the ceiling from where the chandelier had broken free; broken glass, corroded iron, and splintered pieces of wood gathered on the pocked hardwood floor. It was an eyesore that had been condemned by the city for demolition until he had bought it. He had only fixed a section on the middle floor to use as his own; shielded from windows on all sides, it was the perfect hideout. To the neighbors of the building, there were no signs of life; and that was how he wanted it. He sighed; the sound escaped the mouth of his bats as a quiet screech.

Kaname had never brought anyone here in the past five years he had owned the building. No one, not even his most loyal noble, knew about this place. He had kept it hidden all this time because he did not want his peace interrupted; but since the person would be joining him here was Yuuki, he did not mind. Yuuki could break into every secret crevice of his life and he would not utter a word of protest. She was his precious girl. Any cruelty she submitted him to, he would take with a smile. He flew underneath the door of his sanctuary and deposited Yuuki gently onto the couch. He landed gently onto the couch next to her and, with a single pulse of thought, all of the bats rushed toward him to reform his body.

He watched her face as he waited for her to regain consciousness. Her eyelashes dusted her cheeks gently; he could see her eyes flicked back and forth underneath her eyelids as she dreamed. Careful not to disturb her legs, he scooted back onto the seat and balanced the ankle of his left leg against the knee of his right. He propped his elbow along the back of the couch and balanced his chin with his palm. He watched her sleep and wondered, not for the first time, if she dreamt of him like he dreamt of her.

**X**

_For the first time in many nights, Yuuki dreamt of the days of old: when Kaname-sama was simply Kaname and she had been free to simply be Yuuki with him. She dreamt of a time before their distance when she allowed herself to greet him so exuberantly. Now, they sat on the couch in the Headmaster’s home. It was a memory and a dream. She sat in his lap, something human Yuuki would have never dared to do, as he read to her. The book wasn’t a fairytale like it had been way back then. No, she could hear him telling her the story of when their parents fell in love. It was a story Yuuki recognized. Father had stolen all of the umbrellas out of the house so that he could spend a romantic walk in the rain with mother; if she recalled correctly, mother hadn’t been happy._

_‘Was he unhappy?’ Yuuki wondered as she watched Kaname’s younger version read to her, ‘did he ever look at me and wish I was different? That I was me again?’ She watched his gentle eyes turn to her again. The lonely expression was so out of place with the story and with the scene. She sighed. ‘He probably did, but he more than likely cherished the moments he got with me anyway. No matter if he could never tell…’ Her thoughts slowed down. ‘Why didn’t he? Why didn’t Kaname tell me that I was his sister? Why didn’t he break it to me what I was from the start?’_

_“Would you have believed?” Her heart skipped as she heard older Kaname’s voice appear behind her. She spun around. It was Kaname as she remembered him, white Night Class uniform, and a serious expression. His eyes were locked on their childhood forms. “What would you have thought if I had told you, right then,” he motioned to the memory which had rearranged itself into its true form at his arrival; instead of sitting in his lap, Yuuki was now pressed close to his side, "what you were? Who you were to me?”_

_“I would have thought you were insane,” Yuuki breathed, realizing the truth in her words. “I would have been frightened by you even more because…I wouldn’t be able to accept the truth. I would have cut you completely out of my life after that.”_ _It would have destroyed him if she had done such a thing; and it would have broken her. For such a special part of her life--her savior, her beginning--would have been gone._

_“So, you see now, why I didn’t tell you?” Kaname asked; Yuuki’s heart skipped a small beat as she felt his arms wind around her shoulders. His hands linked together over her chest. Her cheeks flushed, but she leaned back into the shelter of his chest._

_“Yeah,” Yuuki sighed._

**X**

Kaname watched her give a happy, sigh as she rolled over. He chuckled. “Just what are you dreaming about, hmmm?” He heard her heart give a small skip. He thought for a moment that she was waking up, but to his surprise she stayed entirely asleep. He watched with slightly furrowed brows as she moved one hand out from underneath her cheek to rest gently on the side of her throat. Her peaceful expression became tense and pained. He dropped his hand out from underneath his chin.

“ _He says that Yuuki described the thirst perfectly to him last night.”_ The Headmaster’s voice floated back to him. He swallowed and recalled the amount of blood she had lost from a wound. The most blood covered part of her was the shoulder of her coat, but he could smell no more blood coming from it. So far, she had shown no signs of pain even though shifting should have been incredibly painful. Gently, he reached out and brushed the hardened pieces of fabric away from her flesh. He could see the little flakes of blood, but there were no scratches on her. ‘ _She’s healing at my speeds._ ’ He realized. _‘Even a noble would have taken much longer to heal a wound that deep.’_

He stopped to think about the other things he had pushed back. The Senate henchmen wouldn’t have just let her pass. When he found them, they had been on their knees; they had been showing deference to a Pureblood. Yuuki had been the only one to pass through. His heart was racing now. _‘The vampire inside of Yuuki is waking up,’_ he realized; he finally had all the information he needed to draw that conclusion. He had wondered before what would happen if the vampire inside were to awaken. He’d had a contingency plan formed for such a thing, but now that he was faced with that very situation, it wasn’t playing out like he had thought. It seemed as though human Yuuki and vampire Yuuki were coexisting in the same body, sharing it; vampire Yuuki wasn’t attempting to devour the human. _‘But does she have her memories back?’_ He wondered as he stared down at her face. _‘Does she remember who I am to her?’_

He was only mildly surprised by how much he longed for that answer. For so long, he had felt that hole left by her ignorance of his identity; he had grown so used to it that he had stopped noticing, but he noticed now. God, did he notice now. It pulsed like an open wound. He wanted to shake her awake and bombard her with the questions he so desperately needed to answer too, but he restrained himself.

Thankfully, he did not have to wait long.

Yuuki opened her eyes; her first sight was a frightening one in its unfamiliarity. A deep red wall, a bookshelf, and a desk greeted her line of sight. Her heart lodged in her throat. She shot up and collided immediately with a warm body. A squeal built in her throat, but she swallowed it down as she recognized the scent surrounding her: sandalwood and roses. She relaxed. “Kaname,” she breathed as she looked over at him. She found his eyes the moment she looked over. They were close. She blushed deeply and moved to scoot over, but his arm wound around her waist. It was a testament to the new changes that she relaxed instead of staying tense. Her heart hurt at the realization. ‘ _Oh, the pain I must have caused this man,_ ’ she mourned. She tried not to look up at him. She was afraid of what he might see in her face; likewise, she was afraid of what she might see in him.

“Why were you at my family home, Yuuki?” He asked. Yuuki’s heart skipped. His eyes remained on her face as she thought about her answer. _‘Will she lie to me?’_ He wondered as he watched her lips part and close a number of times.  

“I…” Yuuki rolled her lips together. She couldn’t lie to him; she didn’t have it in her. She sighed and clenched her hands tightly in her lap. “I was curious about you.” It was true, but she had edited it. She wanted to know what he knew, what he suspected, before she admitted anything herself. “So,” she flushed, “I kind of used the key to the Moon Dorm and went to your room. I found a picture in your drawer that had the address on the back.”

“So, you just let yourself into the Moon Dorm and breeched my trust?” She could hear the disapproval in his voice. “And then proceeded to trespass on private property?” Yuuki flushed deeper. She couldn’t defend herself; she knew what she had done was wrong. It had been a serve violation of the Night Class’ trust. “Why go through so much trouble when you could simply ask me?” Kaname asked softly. He was growing frustrated by her complete refusal to look at him. Very gently, he cupped her chin and turned her head. Her startled eyes met his. He needed to see her eyes when he asked his next question, “Are you more frightened of me now?” The very thought bothered him, but he pushed it aside as he waited for her answer.

“I am less frightened of you now than I have ever been,” Yuuki told him honestly. His eyes widened. Though her words made him happy, he wasn’t going to let her words distract him.

“And why is that?” He asked. Yuuki held back a curse. He had backed her into yet another corner. Yuuki frowned. _‘I had forgotten how good Kaname was at chess. Words and strategy are where he excels. Just as I never could beat him at chess, I probably won’t be able to defeat him at this.’_

“I understand better now,” she said simply. “I’ve thought about you a lot these past few days.” Still truth. “About how angry you must have been when I stood against you when you wanted to punish Zero…about how scared you must have been to see me that way…” She looked over at him again. Her eyes pierced him; unknowingly, she locked him in place. “You have such restraint when it comes to me.” She smiled. “Realizing that, how could I be afraid?” Kaname gave a quiet laugh and smiled.

“Yet, you went through such lengths to avoid talking to me about something that was clearly important to you…” He said. Yuuki fought the urge to purse her lips in annoyance. _‘Good God, he is like a blood hound.’_ He smiled just a little wider. “I will not let this go, Yuuki,” he told her softly as he traced her cheek with his fingertip. She sighed and leaned into that gentle touch. Kaname’s eyes warmed with the motion. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her. “Why,” his finger found underneath her chin again, “don’t you ask me what it is you wanted to know so badly?” He asked as he leaned close to her. His nose brushed the tip of hers.

**X**

Zero sat on his bed, leaning against the wall. He stared at the framed picture on his nightstand. It was one of the thousands of pictures of Yuuki and Zero. It had been a few weeks before Christmas and the Headmaster had called them over to help him put up the tree. Yuuki was standing on her tiptoes, attempting to put one of the little glass balls onto one of the top branches of the tree. Zero had done his part; there were lights on the tree; but somehow Yuuki had managed to rope him into the doing more. He was on the opposite side of the tree from her, hanging up a blue glass ball.

He clenched his hands into fists. He still wasn’t sure how to feel about the Headmaster’s revelation. It wasn’t at all what he had expected. He had thought the Headmaster would tell him anything but the truth. Yuuki had been a vampire since birth…which meant she wasn’t just a vampire. She was either a noble or a Pureblood. That thought terrified him. He hated vampires for everything they were…How many times had he told her that? How many times had he, unknowingly, hurt her? _How long had she known?_

Suddenly, her reactions from the night before made sense: the way she had cried harder when he had asked her to share the burden with him. She had been trying to protect him, as she always seemed to be trying to do, from the truth. She had been trying to save him the pain he felt now. His nails pricked his skin. He knew, of course, that she hadn’t just stayed silent for him. She had also stayed silent for herself. She was terrified of how he would react if he had known. He gave a quiet bitter laugh as he realized he didn’t blame her. He was still too shocked to feel much of anything else.

Even he didn’t know what his reaction would be the next time he saw her. ‘ _If she is even still human when she returns…’_ The thought rose without provocation and it stole away his breathe like a violent sucker punch. He covered his face with his hands as he tried to contain the emotions ripping through him. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to hit something.

**X**

Yuuki was at a loss. Kaname’s closeness had robbed her momentarily of all thought. His eyes suddenly sparked his amusement; his lips curved into a slight smile. She tore her eyes away from his lips and to his eyes. _‘I’m supposed to be asking him something,’_ she reminded herself. _‘But what questions? The vampire inside of me has already answered most of them. I wanted to know where I came from, she told me. I wanted to know what my past was, she shed light on it. So, what remains for Kaname to answer?’_

“Is it true?” The words slipped from her lips before she could add context. She clenched her eyes closed. _‘Damn. Not what I wanted to ask.’_

“I’m afraid I do not understand, Yuuki. Is what true?” Kaname asked for elaboration, but he didn’t move to give her space to think. She suddenly understood what he was doing. He was using his…for lack of a better word…attraction to distract her from editing her words.

“Um….there’s no way we can pretend that you didn’t hear that, is there?” Yuuki asked, peeked up at him from through her bangs. He shook his head; that amused smile was back. She sighed and looked away from him. Gently, she pulled her chin away from his finger and looked down at her knees. She clenched her hands into fists. “Know, before I ask, that I don’t expect anything to change. In fact, I would prefer that things remain the same for as long as they can.” She risked a glance at him out of the corner of her eye. He was staring at her. That amused expression was gone from his face; it had been replaced by pure curiosity. Yuuki drew in a deep breath and looked over at him fully. “Is it true…um,” she breathed before shaking her head. _‘I was expecting this to be so hard. I don’t know what to ask…’_

“Yuuki?” He asked quietly, worried beyond all belief about his precious girl. She wasn’t making much sense. He reached out and covered his hand with hers. She let out a shaky sigh.

“I’m a vampire, aren’t I?” Yuuki asked desperately as she clutched his hand. His eyes widened. She pulled her legs up to the side and shifted up onto her knees so that she faced Kaname instead of just sitting beside him. It was an eerie parallel to the first time she had touched his fangs, but she ignored that for a moment. “I’m not just going insane, right?” She plead for an answer with both her eyes and her body language.

“What makes you think you are a vam-” Kaname started; she cut him off with just one word:

“Onii-sama,” she said flatly. This time his surprise was heavy enough to cause the lights above them to shatter; and through the darkness, all he could see were a set of red eyes glowing back at him. He started numbly into those eyes. “I am the daughter of Juri and Haruka Kuran.” For so long, he had wanted this. “The reason I had no memories was because mother sealed my memories away and entrusted me into your care. You were taking me to the Headmaster so that he could keep me safe.” She smiled sadly, “The only reason I asked was to see if you would try to redirect me or lie to me.” She moved to get up. He could sense it. She was planning to put that damned distance between them again. He couldn’t allow it. Not now. Not ever. He had breached that wall that she kept between them with the resurgence of her memories. He never wanted to see that wall again; he knew that if he let her leave she would just rebuild it, stronger and more impenetrable than ever. He could already see her building blocks.  

“No!” Kaname protested as he reached out and grabbed her hand. A surprised gasp escaped her lips as she found herself jerked back and into his lap. Instantly, a blush spread across her cheeks. He wrapped his arms around her waist, keeping her in place. Her blush only worsened. “I wasn’t going to redirect you or lie,” he whispered hoarsely into her ear. The raw pain and fear in his voice made her blush die down. Suddenly, all she wanted to do was comfort the man who held her, but his arms were locked so tightly around her waist that she couldn’t move. “I just wanted you to help me understand.” His lips brushed her neck as he spoke. The feather-light touch sent shivers of longing down her spine. “How are you awake?”

“She’s not,” Yuuki answered, “at least, not fully or else I would be truly insane.” Yuuki sighed. “I suppose it would be easier if I started from the beginning.” Just the thought of sharing the confusing story exhausted her. Still, she leaned back into his chest and started: “It all started the day after you guys left for holidays. I was in the training room when the hallucinations started. I reached the part of the course where whips shoot out from the wall, but instead of seeing the usual leather…I saw blood whips…like the kind Shiki can call. And then I saw my last moment with mother. All of the blood…” Yuuki shuddered. Somewhere inside the building, another window broke. Kaname pressed his lips gently to her neck. Her cheeks burned at the gentle touch. Her stomach gave a little flip.

“It’s alright, Yuuki,” he promised quietly before he kissed her skin again. He was hanging onto her every word while marveling at the fact that she was letting him touch her like this. She hadn’t said a word about him holding her in his lap; she hadn’t wiggled or squeaked; she just leaned back into him and accepted his affections. It made his heart soar, but it also made his heart break. The vampire inside of Yuuki was waking up. He could only imagine the fear she was feeling. He couldn’t imagine how conflicted she must feel as her human morals collide violently with her vampire nature. He pressed another kiss to her neck.

“And then…the night after Zero bit me,” she felt him tense; his arms tightened just a little more around her. She immediately thought of the words the girl had screamed: ‘ _It was Onii-sama’s job to protect you, not only as our brother but as our fiancé, when you forced that choice on him, you rejected that. You rejected him.’_ She realized with slight sadness that what the girl had been saying must have been true. She put her hands onto his forearms and squeezed gently. “The night after Zero bit me,” Yuuki pressed on, “I dreamt of a hallway and a door. I knew something would change if I opened that door, but I did so anyway.” Yuuki leaned her head back onto his shoulder, “I think now that the door itself was the seal. When I opened the door, I broke through it the rest of the way. Beyond the door was a child. She was me, vampire me. She was so scared, so traumatized by what she had seen. That Yuuki was frozen at five, mere minutes after her parents had died. For a few seconds, she didn’t know me; but when she figured it out, she ran with it. She embraced me and a few of her memories rushed into me. I saw you, I saw mother and father…and I saw him. That terrifying man with one red eyes and one blue.” Kaname gave a quiet hiss at the mention. She wiggled in response to his anger as he tightened his arms around her waist. He loosened them immediately, thinking that the pressure was hurting her. “After that, we sat down and talked. Just opening the door had allowed her a lot of freedom. She could talk to me in my waking hours instead of just when I slept. In the time I grew, she stayed the same, locked in that closet. She didn’t get to grow with me. And now…she is. Every time I use her powers or embrace an aspect of her, of my past, she grows.”

“And…have you experienced the thirst?” Kaname dreaded the answer. She didn’t have fangs; she couldn’t fully satiate it. Blood would taste wrong to her. His heart broke a little as Yuuki nodded. He loosened his hold on her as she began to wiggle her arms. She dug a bottle out of her pocket. Kaname blinked. “Blood tablets?” He realized as he took it from her hands. He unscrewed the bottle and peered down into it.

“They work…if I take enough,” Yuuki admitted as she watched him. He looked down into the Tylenol bottle as if the blood tablets inside would tell him more about her condition. _‘It feels good,’_ Yuuki mused, _‘to unload all of this on someone. I’ve been so afraid of hurting the people I love with my secrets that I didn’t realize just how much these secrets were weighing on me until now…’_ She saw him swallow. Her eyes were drawn to his neck by the movement. It had started out as a simple admiration of his neck. _‘So strong…so soft looking…’_ But then it turned into something darker, _‘I wonder what it would taste like. His blood had certainly smelled delicious…just one taste couldn’t possibly hurt…’_ Yuuki flinched when she realized the path her thoughts had taken her on. She had been leaning, she realized with horror, toward _Kaname’s neck_. What she was going to do, she had no idea. The thirst she had been ignoring until now flared up more violently than she had ever felt. The bottle in Kaname’s hand rattled as he closed it. She snapped her attention away from his neck and took the bottle as he passed it to her. She twisted it open with a violent twist of her wrist and dumped four into her hand. She tilted her head back and threw them into her mouth. She forced them down and shuddered at the foul aftertaste.

He had gotten so used to the human Yuuki that it took him by surprise for a moment to see her swallow down pills meant for vampires. Her nose scrunched up cutely at the taste. He would have laughed…had the sight not been so…for lack of a better word, disturbing. “Those are better with water…” He suggested drily _. ‘Was this how Ruka and Kain felt watching me scarf down all of those blood tablets dry?’_ He wondered with a small shudder. _‘As if they were candy…My thirst then had been unimaginable. If I had nearly taken the entire box then, just how thirsty is Yuuki now?’_ The pharmaceutical company that made the blood tablets had made it so that they were extremely unpleasant to humans. So, it surprised him even more to see her swallowing them dry. It was a feat that made even vampires shudder with disgust. He frowned. _‘Just how bad is your thirst, my dear girl?’_

“I can’t imagine that,” Yuuki startled him by saying. It took him only a second to remember just what he had said before.

“How often do you need to take them?” He asked.

“It depends…on if I’ve used my powers or how much I’ve bled.” Yuuki didn’t want say that it was worse now. The thirst had flared up when she had seen his blood. She needed it. It had looked so…the thirst came back violently at the memory. She gasped and popped two more into her mouth. She forced them down. Somehow, they tasted more wrong than before. Her stomach rolled. She curled her nose up, but she kept them down.

 _‘I want Kaname’s blood,’_ Yuuki gathered easily. _‘The tablets aren’t satisfying me because of it.’_ Yuuki chewed her cheek and closed her eyes. _‘I can’t have his blood,’_ she reminded herself. _‘If it is taboo to nobles, then what makes me think I could have it? Besides, even if I could, I would have no way to take what I desire.’_ She curled her hands into fists in her lap as she tried to distract herself.

“The vampire me and the human me are merging,” Yuuki forced herself to speak past the churning of her stomach. “I have three months before we merge completely,” she turned in his lap so that she could look him in the eye. “Please, Onii-sama, let me have two months.” She begged, cupping his cheeks with her hands. He closed his eyes and savored her touch. “Two months more of waiting,” Yuuki begging softly. “Two more months.” Kaname opened his eyes. He reached forward and cupped her cheek.

“How could I tell you no when you look at me with those eyes, Yuuki?” He asked as he rested his forehead on hers. Yuuki could hear the pain in his voice; her bottom lip quivered. Her eyes stung with tears.

“I’m sorry, Onii-sama.” She whispered, leaning into his press. She closed her eyes; tears spilled over softly. She hated herself for hurting him. _‘He’s waited ten years and now I’m asking him to wait two months longer. He knows now…he knows I remember.’_

 “Can I request something of you?” Kaname asked. Yuuki opened her eyes to find his intense eyes staring into her.

“Of course,” she agreed. He leaned closer; his nose brushed hers. Her heart began to hammer as she wondered just what he was going to ask.

“Will you allow me to court you, knowing what you know?” He asked. Yuuki’s heart skipped a beat. Her eyes widened. “Will you be my lover?” Her mouth ran dry.

 _‘Lover…’_ Yuuki processed the word. _‘He wants a romantic relationship with me.’_ The realization caused her blush deeply.

 _‘Say yes,’_ her younger version squealed.

 _‘Onii-sama,’_ the title echoed in her head. It sucked away any joy she had left at the knowledge.

 _‘Say yes,’_ she was getting annoyed now.

 _‘He’s my brother,’_ Yuuki thought sadly. _‘I have been in love with my brother for years…’_

 _‘Say yes.’_ She was getting angry now.

 _‘It’s wrong,’_ Yuuki responded to that anger. _‘He’s my brother. I shouldn’t love him, not in that way,’_ she thought. The idea that her love from him was wrong hurt her more than the thirst ever could. She bit into her cheek.

_‘Say yes!!’_

_‘It’s incest!’_ Yuuki protested. _‘A taboo, a sin!’_ She knew that was how the world would view them. Maybe the vampire world would consider it normal, but the human world would be disgusted. _‘Zero…will be disgusted…’_ The thought stole her breathe. She saw Zero’s disgusted, angry face behind her eyelids. Tears rushed down her cheeks faster. Kaname was growing nervous, but still he waited and watched as she fought it out on the inside. It was a battle of heart and mind. He waited with baited breathe to see which would win.   

 _‘Think about how you feel for Onii-sama!’_ The vampire inside her pleaded. _‘How you’ve always felt for him! You loved him even not knowing who he was. Do you really think that will change? Do you still feel that way?’_

 _‘Yes,’_ Yuuki admitted. _‘Nothing I’ve learned about Kaname has changed my feelings. Each time I’ve tried to shed my feelings for him, I’ve failed. No matter how hard I’ve fought against my feelings for him, I fall to him again and again.’_ She swallowed and looked into his eyes. Those beautiful eyes were tinted with fear, nervousness, and doubt. Yuuki blanched slightly. _She_ had put that look there. Her strong, confident Kaname should never look so lost, so afraid.

“Don’t look like that,” she begged as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. His lips parted in surprise. She couldn’t help but linger there. His lips were so soft and so warm; they molded almost perfectly to hers. She forced herself to pull away before he could respond and looked up into his eyes again. “I’ll be your…lover.” The word felt weird on her lips. It was such an old word. Lover felt more intimate than girlfriend; it felt so much more intimate that Yuuki blushed just saying it. Kaname’s eyes glowed happily in response to her words; a real smile stretched across his lips. Her heart skipped at the sight. There was no loneliness in this smile. Yuuki couldn’t help but smile back.

A quiet gasp escaped her as he leaned forward and claimed her lips. Tingles spread from her lips down to her toes. If there had been anymore doubt about them remaining in her mind, his kiss would have demolished them. He kissed her slowly. Each press of his lips lasted; each chaste kiss erased a little more of her fear of their unknown. Yuuki didn’t know how long they sat there, simply basking in the feel of one another’s lips. He pressed his forehead against hers once he deemed himself done for now. “Thank you,” he whispered, “for not denying me this privilege.”

“Umm…I would say you’re welcome, but that feels a tad conceited,” Yuuki muttered. Kaname chuckled and lifted her gently from his lap.

“I think it’s time I got you home,” Kaname said regretfully as he stood. She looked up at him. Yuuki had fully expected to see a halo of light around his head, but when there was none it surprised her. She blinked.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to being able to see in the dark…” She muttered as she took his extended hand. Kaname chuckled and gently helped her up.

“You will eventually,” he reassured her.

“Thank you,” Yuuki breathed as they stood side by side. He looked over at her and tilted his head. “For allowing me these two months.”

“Of course,” he whispered as he raised his hand and caressed her cheek. “Now,” he smiled, “let’s get you home before the Headmaster worries.” Yuuki rolled her lips together and decided not to tell him that no one really knew where she had went. He would only scold her for going to such a dangerous place without telling anyone. Something in her face must have given her away for he clicked his tongue and said, “He has no idea where you are, does he?” She shook her head. “Yuuki…” He sighed.

“He would have stopped me from going!” Yuuki protested his scolding. “And…” She fished for something that would make that disapproving look vanish. “Onii-sama, we wouldn’t be here now if he had.” Kaname chuckled.

“I believe we would have gotten here on our own, but I will let it go…” Yuuki’s shoulders dropped in relief. “Only,” she tensed again, “if you promise me you will never do something like that again.”

“I won’t,” she promised. Kaname nodded.

“You may want to close your eyes,” he warned. Yuuki shook her head.

“I want see,” she told him. His lips parted for a moment and then he smiled. Yuuki blinked as his body started to smoke almost. Her mouth fell open as his body broke apart into a colony of bats. One of the largest bats flew up to her and circled around her. He landed on her shoulder. Yuuki giggled and raised her hand. She patted him on the back. “Very cool,” Yuuki approved. A small gasp escaped her as the bats flew toward her. They formed a black wall around her and engulfed her. “Okay,” she breathed in the black space, “that was a little unnerving.”

 _‘I did warn you,’_ she was started when she heard his voice close by. A vein ticked in her head slightly as she heard his amusement.

“Hush,” she warned back playfully as she settled back into the black mass. The dark would have scared her if it hadn’t been Kaname surrounding her. “Where am I?”

_‘I thought you didn’t want me talking…’_

“Kaname-sama!” She groaned.

 _‘You’re inside my mind.’_ Yuuki’s mouth fell open. _‘It is the safest place for you while I travel like this.’_

“How…you know what, no. Don’t try to explain it to me.” He rewarded her statement with a deep chuckle. She flushed.

**X**

Kaname landed on the Headmaster’s doorstep. The bats gathered together around the largest bat and formed Yuuki’s body shape. When he backed off, Yuuki stood shakily on the doorstep. She stared at the black mass until it was her Kaname again. She leaned against the door and gave a slight, disbelieving giggle.

“That’s unbelievable,” she complimented. He smiled softly at her amazement over his ability. It was refreshing to see her enjoying aspects of his nature instead of cringing away from it has she had been. Suddenly, he wanted to kiss her again.

Yuuki’s heart skipped a beat as his fingers brushed her cheeks, followed by his palms. His hands were warm in the cold, evening air. Yuuki closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. He pressed his forehead against hers and looked down at her sweet face. Her eyelashes brushed gently against her cheeks. Her cheeks were flushed a becoming red. His heart skipped. He could feel her breath puffing against his lips. He rolled his lips together and closed the small distance between them. His lips pressed to hers into a chaste kiss. He smiled softly when she tried to follow him as he pulled away. She opened her eyes and gave him a sheepish smile.

“I need to go inside,” she said quietly as she placed her hands over his. Gently, she slid his hands from her cheeks and pressed a kiss to his knuckle.

“Yes,” Kaname agreed even though he was so reluctant to let go. He slipped his hands gently from hers and stepped back. “I will see you in a few days. Please, behave until then.” Yuuki smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

“I promise to try, Kaname,” she told him. Kaname smiled. Yuuki watched, breathless at his splendor, as he broke apart into his bats again. They flew away in perfect formation. She watched him until he was out of sight before she walked inside. She closed the door gently behind her and turned around.

“Oh…” Yuuki muttered as she found herself staring at the Headmaster. The Headmaster’s arms were crossed over his chest, but the stern stance was ruined by the happy grin on his face. Yuuki flushed. ‘ _He must have seen Kaname and me…_ ’ The memory of his lips pressed to hers filtered back into her mind. Yuuki’s blush worsened.

“I thought you said you were going to see Yori-chan, Yuuki,” the Headmaster scolded, “but, imagine my surprise when you come back with Kaname-sama.”

“I went to Kuran Mansion.” Yuuki didn’t lie, but she didn’t show any remorse for the previous lie either. She was busy studying the Headmaster’s reaction to the news. His eyes widened, his lips fell apart, and he dropped his arms from their cross.

“What?” He breathed; shock colored the single word. His eyes darted over her, looking for any trace of injury. His eyes locked on the bloodstain on the shoulder of her white T-shirt. His heart skipped a small beat. He wanted to rush to her, to look at it, but his feet were frozen in place. Yuuki followed his gaze to her shoulder.

“It’s nothing!” Yuuki dismissed his fear. “It’s already healed,” Yuuki brushed away the hardened shirt and coat and pulled down the hole to reveal her clear skin, “see? No injury. It’s healed.”

“But…how?” The Headmaster asked weakly. Yuuki narrowed her eyes. The look in her eyes froze his blood in veins. It was accusing, hurt, and angry. This had started out as him trying to discipline his sixteen year old daughter; but it had somehow turned into Kaien being the one feeling five inches tall. He knew, in just one look, that she knew everything.  

“You already know, Headmaster,” Yuuki said bluntly. Yuuki sighed and linked her hands behind her as she moved toward the couch. She perched on the arm as she admitted to Kaien, “I’ve remembered almost everything about my past.” Kaien dropped into the armchair across from her. Yuuki looked at him.

“Does Kaname know?” He asked. Yuuki nodded. Kaien took off his glasses with one hand and covered his eyes.

“When will he-” He started. Yuuki interrupted him.

“I asked him for two months.” Kaien dropped his hand from his face and looked at her. She was just full of surprises lately. Yuuki smiled softly and informed him, “I need time to process all of it. If he were to turn me now, I would be nothing but a child. A baby vampire. As I am, I have little knowledge on how to use my powers to my advantage. I would be a sitting duck in his world. I would be a joke to the nobles and, even though he would never say it, an embarrassment for Kaname.”

“I believe Kaname would say that nothing you could do would embarrass him,” Kaien smiled warmly.

“Hmm…” Yuuki agreed. “I’m going to go change out of these clothes and take a shower.”

“Yuuki,” Kaien called before she could reach the stairs, “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you not to do something like this again.”

“Kaname already made me feel five inches tall for sneaking away like that,” Yuuki called over her shoulder. Kaien slumped.

“But I’m your papa…Shouldn’t you put much more weight on my opinion?” He pouted with twin streams of tears running from his eyes. Yuuki simply smiled fondly as she tromped up the stairs.

It was as she reached the top that it occurred to her, _‘Where’s Zero? He knows that Yori doesn’t want me visiting her during the holidays. That excuse would have made him extremely suspicious…but he’s not here…’_ Yuuki ran to the edge of the stairs and shouted down:

“Where’s Zero?”

“He went to the training room minutes before you came home,” the Headmaster shouted back. Yuuki rolled her lips together. She knew not to disturb Zero while he was training (even if watching him was quite the sight). Yuuki bit her bottom lip and continued on down the hall to her room.

Though a part of her was worried for Zero, she wasn’t quite ready to confront him yet. She was too worried, too scared for that. She pushed all thoughts of the future confrontation away. For right now, she just wanted to bask in the lingering happiness Kaname had given her.  


	10. Battling with Thirst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaname confronts Zero about his fall to Level E and offers up a solution; this decision wreaks havoc on Yuuki’s newly developed senses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

Yuuki was unable to sleep once again. It wasn’t just the call of the night for the vampire inside that kept her awake; it was also her worry for Zero. He hadn’t returned from the training grounds; instead, he had informed the Headmaster that he was taking up lodge in his dorm room. Logically, she knew he was alright. He had taken enough blood from her last time to last him a few days, but…there was this nagging feeling that emotionally Zero wasn’t fine. She chewed her bottom lip and leaned her head back against the wall. _‘Will I ever really know Zero?’_ She wondered. _‘Even after all this time, after all we’ve been through, his heart is still just as closed to me as ever.’_ She closed her eyes _. ‘Just when I think we’re making progress, he forces us two steps back and slams a new door with a more complicated lock in my face.’_ She sighed. _‘But it’s not like I can force him to come to me. He’s making it pretty clear that he doesn’t want to talk to me right now….but I’ve never been very good at taking those signals. I see them, but I don’t abide by them…So, why am I now?’_ Yuuki looked down at her hands. She turned them over to see completely healed skin. She sighed. _‘Because I’ll have to explain to him where I’ve been and why I’ve been there. I’ll have to tell him about what I am. He’s not like the Headmaster; he doesn’t already know. I don’t want to see his face when he finds out that I’m a vampire. Well, no, not just that I’m a vampire, but that I’m the sister of the person he hates beyond all comparison. I’m the thing he hates out of all vampires: a Pureblood.’_ Her eyes stung with tears. _‘I have no doubts that such a revelation would be enough to destroy our friendship…’_ She bit into her lower lip to stop it from wobbling. “That,” she sighed aloud, “is why I’m sitting here. That’s why I’m not racing toward the dorms now and demanding that he talk to me…” She bowed her head and covered her face with her hands. “I’m such a coward,” she laughed bitterly at herself.

 _‘So, what am I going to do?’_ She wondered. _‘Am I just going to sit here all night, worrying and going in circles?’_ The very thought aggravated her. Yuuki was at the heart of her a woman of action. This stillness was driving her insane. _‘What can I do though? I’m too cowardly right now to try and fix whatever is wrong with Zero…_ ’ Her earlier words to the Headmaster came filtering unprovoked into her mind: _“If he were to turn me now, I would be nothing but a child. A baby vampire. As I am, I have little knowledge on how to use my powers to my advantage. I would be a sitting duck in his world. I would be a joke to the nobles and, even though he would never say it, an embarrassment for Kaname.”_ She straightened up. _‘But I can work on myself…’_ She thought as she pushed out of bed. “Where to start?” She wondered aloud. ‘ _What’s the most pressing? The most dangerous right now?’_ It occurred to Yuuki seconds after asking herself that question; her powers were the most pressing. They were second only to her thirst, but it was manageable with blood tablets; so for the moment she discredited it. “A vampire’s powers seem to be influenced directly by their emotions,” Yuuki mused, “or, at least, mine do...” She chewed her bottom lip. She had always been a passionate person; when she felt, it was always strong. No one feeling was muted. She bowed her head. _‘That’s a part of me that going to have to change…just a little. I can’t be exploding things every time I get angry or stressed. The Day Class would be in tremendous danger if that started happening…’_ “But how do I get it under control?” She asked herself.

‘ _Hmm…you could try meditation,_ ’ the other side of her interjected. Yuuki snapped her fingers.

 _‘That’s right!’_ She agreed _. ‘Father tried to teach me it once, but I never got the hang of it.’_ She blinked when she processed the thought that had just passed through her mind. _‘I’ve been thinking more and more like you lately…’_

_‘It’s only natural. You’ve accepted our past completely. You aren’t fighting it anymore.’_

_‘Right. Well,’_ Yuuki sank down on the floor and crossed her legs. _‘Eh…how do I do this again?’_

 _“Like this, Yuuki,”_ her heart skipped as she heard the voice of her father even if just in memory. Even if just in her mind’s eye, she saw him sitting across from her. _He sat across from her on the decorative rug. His legs were crossed; his hands were in his lap as opposed to at the edge of his knees. Five year old Yuuki settled down in the same position. She stuck her tongue between her teeth in concentration. Haruka chuckled and smiled, “what an adorable daughter I have…” He hummed. Yuuki pulled her tongue back between her teeth and flushed._

_“What next, papa?” She asked, trying to hide her embarrassment at his compliment._

_“Close your eyes, Yuuki,” she did. “Try to find your center, a place where you are calm, nothing can harm you.”_

_“I have to find Onii-sama?” Yuuki asked cutely. Haruka’s eyes widened; his lips rolled together as he tried to suppress the laugh that threatened to escape him._

_“Not exactly, Yuuki.” In his voice, she could hear barely contained laughter. “A memory would do just as nicely,” he said. She flushed again and closed her eyes. “Once you’ve found it,” he added, “focus on it. Embrace the memory and let it soothe you, but don’t fall asleep.” Yuuki heard him, but this time she didn’t open her eyes. She was busy trying to find that place her father spoke of. ‘A memory of Onii-sama…A memory of Onii-sama…’ She scanned through her memory, trying to find the one that made her feel the calmest, the safest. ‘But there are so many!’ She complained. Frustrated, she chose simply chose one._

_After a few seconds, Yuuki started to fidget. She heard her father chuckle. “Just give me ten minutes, Yuuki. Just ten and then you can be done for the day.”_

“Daddy,” Yuuki whispered brokenly as she curled into herself. The memory had cut into her like a dull blade, tearing at the flesh of her heart with deliberate slowness. The pain she felt was fresh and sharp. She hadn’t seen him die, but she had felt the moment her father had passed. She had smelt his blood and she had seen the look on her mother’s face. Her father would never experience those milestones with her. Her lips quivered; she pressed them together tightly as if the pressure would stop the tears she could feel coming. _‘I…never had the chance to grieve them properly…_ ’ The window began to crack as her aching heart caused her powers to lash out. _‘And now that I do…I can’t because I’m afraid I’ll destroy the entire house.’_ A somber laugh escaped her.

 _‘Grieve for mother and father after,’_ the child said sadly. ‘ _When we aren’t in danger of demolishing an entire block.’_ Yuuki took a deep breath and shoved her grief back.

‘ _Right,’_ she acknowledged. _‘Later.’_ She straightened up and closed her eyes again. In her mind, she heard her father telling her what to do. _‘Find you center, a place where you are calm and safe.’_ Unlike when she was younger, that place wasn’t so hard to find. She imagined that she was back inside Kaname’s mind; the warmth that had surrounded her, the feeling that nothing could touch her: it had been what lulled her to sleep that first time. His mind was her safe place. It did not escape her notice that she still considered her Onii-sama her center. She allowed herself a small smile before she shut out everything else. She sank down into that safe place and focused only on the calmness she felt. The only sound she registered was that of her steady breathing.

**X**

Zero collapsed against the bench, out of breath and aching. The training course shut down with a quiet whirl as he beat his previous time. He picked up his water bottle and brought it to his lips. He tilted his head back and took three long pulls of the crisp water. He lowered the bottle and wiped his lips. Zero sighed, leaned his head back against the wall, and closed his eyes. The second his lids dipped down, he saw Yuuki’s face. He saw her smiling with that familiar mischievous light in her eyes and then he saw her frightened and crying: the two versions of her face battled for space. He bowed his head and pushed himself up from the bench.

Zero had wanted to confront her and, if necessary, comfort her; after all, he knew how frightening it was to suddenly know that you were something other than human. Instead of doing either of those things, he was hiding in the basement of the Academy. He was avoiding her because he didn’t know how to deal with the truth.  

“Coward,” he cursed himself and struck the wall. His fist broke through the tile and shattered the wall around it. He hissed and pulled his fist off of the wall. Blood dripped down the side of his hand. It healed within seconds. He tsked quietly, repulsed once again by his healing abilities.    

“Impressive,” he heard from the open doorway. His head snapped up; he spun around and instantly bared his fangs. Leaning in the doorway as if he owned the Academy itself was Kaname Kuran. He looked so relaxed, but Zero didn’t let the sight disarm him any further than he already was. He hadn’t even sensed Kuran until he spoke. Even now, he felt nothing from him. His eyes darted to the corner of the room where his gun rested against his shed clothes. Kuran gave a dark chuckle. “Do you mistrust me that much, Kiryuu? Are you waiting for me to launch across the room, perhaps?” Zero didn’t answer him; he only moved back toward the bench.

“What are you doing here, Kuran?” Zero demanded. Kuran pushed away from the archway and moved in the direction of the bench. He curled his hand around the butt of his gun. His finger slipped easily onto the trigger. The night of the attack Zero had been fine with accepting whatever punishment Kuran could deal out to him, but all of that was different now. Yuuki had forgiven him. If the Pureblood bastard wanted to “punish” him, he was going to have a fight on his hands.

“Believe it or not, I am here to help you with your…eating disorder,” Kuran drawled. He seemed amused by his own joke; Zero rolled his eyes. _‘God, I hate him…’_ He thought bitingly.

“And here I thought you were here to tell Yuuki the truth,” Zero said as he looked unflinchingly at the Pureblood. The hated vampire smiled darkly.

“She already knows,” Zero narrowed his eyes _. ‘Of course,’_ he realized bitterly, _‘she went to see Kuran. I knew Yori was just being used as a cover…’_ He fought not to let Kuran see just how badly it bothered him. “We had that talk earlier this evening. She was rather happy when she left me, but…even from here, I can sense a dampening of that happiness.” Kuran’s eyes narrowed on him. Zero, though immensely jealous—not that he would admit to it—and bothered that Yuuki was worrying needlessly for him, jumped on the opening Kuran gave him.

“It must drive you insane,” Zero chuckled, “to know that she worries for me.” ‘ _That she loves me too,’_ he added silently, knowing that Kuran would read between the lines.  

“Yes,” Kuran surprised him by admitting, “many times I have considered removing you from the equation.” Zero tightened his hand over his gun. “But it would only sadden her if I killed you senselessly.”

“You could try,” Zero growled bravely. The silver headed youth knew that, despite what the Pureblood threatened, he wouldn’t kill him. Maim him, yes, but kill him, no.

“Oh?” The vampire king’s smile was sharp and deadly. Zero didn’t have time to raise his gun. Kuran slammed him back into the wall before his arm could move, before he had even registered the Pureblood’s movement. Zero raised it now despite the pain in his throat. Kuran tightened his fingers around his neck.

“Do it,” Zero postured. “I could probably shoot at the same time.” He fought off the hiss of pain as his body was pressed harder into the tile of the training room. He could hear the tile cracking, the quiet tink of pieces clicking to the floor.

“Look at you,” Kuran chuckled, “baring your fangs so boldly in my face, threatening me with a vampire gun.” He narrowed his eyes. Zero was only half startled by the red glow. “I really do hate you.” This statement was the only warning Zero got before Kuran’s arm jerked. Zero pulled the trigger but he missed. The bullet grazed Kuran’s shoulder, but the injury did not slow him down. He launched Zero across the room with one hand. Zero gave a quiet yelp as his back collided painfully with the panel in the corner of the room. The panel gave with a loud mechanical scream as he fell. He landed on his stomach, but still the instincts ingrained in him at birth demanded he keep hold of his gun. Kuran was hauling him up to his feet before he could attempt to stand. He slammed him back into the panel. For the first time since he was thirteen years old, he felt helpless against someone; but he didn’t let it swallow him. He glared heavily into Kuran’s eyes; the Pureblood holding him shifted closer, moving him higher up the wall.  

Zero hated himself for the feelings of hunger that stirred inside him as his eyes unintentionally locked on Kaname’s bleeding shoulder. Kuran gave a dull, mocking laugh as he caught the movement, “no matter how much you hate me, your body yearns for blood. Anyone will do, even me.” His eyes narrowed; Zero tensed. “You are more animal than man anymore, Kiryuu.” Sharp pain exploded through him as Kuran’s nails tore through his throat. He fell to the ground with a pained wheeze. As he lay on the floor, Zero watched the Pureblood with hatred as he lifted his bloodstained fingers. He flicked some of the blood off of his hand as he stared down at Zero in complete distain.

“I should have shot you the second you came in,” Zero panted as he clutched for his bleeding throat. It was hard to talk around his extended fangs; it was hard to talk through the thirst. His eyes kept traveling down to Kuran’s shoulder.

“Probably so,” Kaname agreed as he knelt down in front of him. He tore his eyes away from the bloody wound with a curl of his nose. Before he could wonder what the vampire was up to, Kuran brought his own wrist up and pressed his nail to the skin. With that gentle press, his skin split. Zero leaned forward, wanting despite himself. He pressed his wrist to Zero’s mouth. The vampire hunter flinched back in revulsion as his blood smeared across his lips; his enemy grabbed the back of his head and held him in place. “Drink.” He demanded; his voice tinted with command. Zero kept his lips pressed tightly closed; he would not drink from him. He would not be indebted to this bastard, but then…Kuran said something: “And never take from my dear girl again. She will not sacrifice herself to save you.”

Yuuki’s face, streaked with tears and riddled with fear, flashed through his mind again. _‘Yuuki,’_ he thought remorsefully, _‘I never want her to look at me like that again…’_ He clenched his eyes shut. His jaw jumped; he forced himself to open his mouth. The moment the Pureblood’s rich blood touched his tongue, he couldn’t stop himself from taking it. Kuran gave no sign of pain as Zero’s fangs sliced through his wrist.

Kaname’s blood, Zero found, was tinted with his emotions for him: loathing and, outstandingly enough, jealousy. Zero tightened his jaw around Kuran’s wrist; still, the Pureblood gave no sign of discomfort. “My blood,” he spoke, “will not stop you from falling to Level E, but it will postpone it longer than any human’s life force.”      

**X**

Yuuki opened her eyes slowly as she felt her senses prickle. Something was happening. She tilted her head back and sniffed the air. _‘Blood?’_ Immediately, her eyes bled red. In that next second, she identified the person. It was a scent that she wasn’t likely to forget. She shot to her feet. “Kaname!” She gasped. She took a step toward the door, but she never made it another step. The thirst crippled her. “Ah!” She collapsed to her knees and grabbed her throat. “This,” she panted, “is getting ridiculous!” Tears danced at the corner of her eyes. Desperately, she clawed into her pocket for the blood tablets. She tore the top off and dumped as many as she could swallow into her mouth. Nausea slammed into her. Her body was rejecting them. She whined and curled into herself. _‘Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.’_ She begged them to stay in her stomach, to dissolve.

Her head snapped up when she heard feet coming toward her bedroom. “Yuuki?” She heard her adoptive father call. “What was that thud? Are you alright?” Yuuki gasped and tried, honestly tried, to get away from the door, but every cell in her body screamed that she move forward. There was blood out there. _‘No!’_ She clenched her eyes closed. _‘You can’t satiate it!’_ She argued with herself. _‘You don’t have fangs!’_ Up until now that had been the deciding statement. She didn’t have fangs; she couldn’t take what she needed without them. _‘Of course…I don’t suppose I really need them to draw blood…’_ Her eyes widened.

“No!” She cried aloud. Her voice was filled with her fear and pure revulsion.

“Yuuki?!” The Headmaster shouted her name, alarmed. The doorknob started to turn. Yuuki scrambled forward and threw her weight against the door. If the Headmaster opened it and saw her…if she saw him…she would… She saw it in her head easily. Her blunt teeth breaking the skin of his throat. She clenched her eyes closed and swallowed down the bile that rose into her mouth. _‘No! I won’t! I won’t!’_

“I’m okay, Daddy!” She forced herself to sound normal. “I just had a bad dream is all,” she desperately tried to reassure him. _‘Don’t come in. Don’t try to come in!’_ She plead.

“Are…are you sure?” Kaien asked. “Do you need me to get you anything?”

“No, no,” she rushed. “I’m fine, promise. Go on back to bed, Dad.”

“Okay…I’m just down the hall if you need anything,” Kaien meant to be reassuring, but—right now—Yuuki really didn’t need that reminder. She clenched her eyes tightly and grasped her throat harder. Black spots danced in her vision as her grip threatened to cut off her air supply.

“Yeah, I know,” she forced herself to say. “Night, dad.”

“Goodnight, Yuuki.” She breathed a sigh of relief as she heard his footsteps moving away. It was a short-lived relief. She could still smell Kaname’s blood in the air; she could still hear Kaien’s heartbeat; his blood was rushing through his veins. She had really scared him, but she couldn’t find it in herself to be remorseful. The hunger was slowly overriding the part of that made her Yuuki. All she could think was how much better his blood was pour now that he was worked up. She slammed herself back into the door and dug her nails harder into her throat. ‘ _I need…_ ’ She panted as she opened her eyes, _‘I need to get out of here. He’s…’_ She flinched as the thirst worsened. _‘He’s too close. I’ll hurt him…’_ She found herself staring at the window pane. The window!

Before she let her fears or the thirst stop her, she scrambled to her feet and ran toward it. **_‘Open!’_** she thought desperately. Much to her surprise, the window sprang open so hard that it rattled the frame. She didn’t slow down; she propelled herself out the open window. The landing jarred her knees and rattled her teeth, but she didn’t slow. She needed to reach neutral ground. She needed to get to the farthest place from Kaien…from the blood.

She ran for the Night Dormitory. The rocks and concrete tore at her bare feet, but she didn’t let the pain slow her down. The only thought in her head was to get away from the Headmaster and the smell of Kaname’s blood. She collided hard with the door to the Night Dorm. She cursed violently. In her desperation she had forgotten that the door was locked. “Let me in!” She demanded. “Unlock! Open!” She heard the click of the lock twisting free. She rushed inside and slammed the door behind her. She leaned against the door and fought to catch her breathe.

The vampire inside, the thirst, was tearing at the fragile wall that held her back; the human Yuuki was on the other side of her mind trying to fortify it. Yuuki opened her eyes and forced herself to move forward. All she wanted was to turn and run, not away, but to the blood. The vampire inside screamed for Kaname’s blood, regardless of the human’s pleading. Yuuki fought herself with every step up the stairs. She dug the blood tablets out of her pocket. In her haste to escape the house, she had forgotten to cap the bottle. She dug two blood tablets out of her pocket and swallowed them down. _‘Mind over matter,’_ she told herself. _‘They work. They work. They work,’_ she repeated again and again as she forced herself up the steps.

She pushed open Kaname’s bedroom door _. ‘Mind over matter,’_ she reminded herself strongly as Kaname’s scent surrounded her. His scent, once so calming, now only served to remind her that his blood was flowing somewhere. She collapsed onto his bed. She pulled his pillow close and curled around it. She buried her face into it as she tried to convince her body that she wasn’t thirsty anymore; she breathed in his scent and repeatedly told herself that her need for blood had been satiated by the tablets.    

**X**

Zero fell away from the Pureblood’s wrist. His thirst for blood was quenched but he felt no fulfillment. He wiped the blood off of his lips with the back of his hand. Watching the Pureblood closely, he wiped it onto his sweats. Pure disgust pulsed through him. Kuran pulled back and stepped away from him. Zero adverted his eyes from the Pureblood as he rose from the floor. He felt dirty; his blood felt poisoned.  

“You were very greedy,” Kuran commented as he pulled his sleeve over the torn, still bleeding skin of his wrist. He eyed him with complete distain.

“Shut up!” Zero exclaimed violently as he suppressed the urge to vomit. He could feel Kuran’s blood squirming inside of his veins, merging with him. It was made even worse by the fact that he could still taste the foul substance on his tongue.

“You look as though you are about to be sick, Kiryuu. Is my blood truly that repulsive to you?” It only made Zero angrier that the bastard sounded and looked amused by his misfortune. _‘I swear if Kuran starts smirking, I’m going to break his teeth.’_ He vowed.  

“I feel violated,” Zero grumbled as he wiped at his mouth again. “Your blood is like poison inside me,” he spat.   

“That has something to do with your…feelings…for me. How you feel after feeding is also related to how you feel for the person,” he said in response. Zero grimaced at the term feelings. It implied something that didn’t exist between them. His only feelings toward Kuran were hatred. The asshole more than likely knew that too. He glared at the man.

“I don’t care for your lesson in blood, Kuran,” Zero hissed as he moved toward the door to the training room. He didn’t want to spend another minute the same room as Kuran.

“No, but you are the one that needs guidance the most,” he heard Kuran’s faded comment. He grit his teeth. _‘Bastard,’_ he thought bitingly as he walked up the stairs.

**X**

Kaname gave a quiet, joyless chuckle as he rubbed at his deeply punctured wrist. He meant it when he said Kiryuu had been greedy; for all the hatred that pulsed through that boy, he certainly acted more vampire-like than any noble or Pureblood Kaname knew. Zero Kiryuu had devoured his blood desperately. Despite nearly draining his dear girl, Zero was still so hungry. It would good that he had acted now. If he had waited any longer, Zero would have gone after the nearest blood source. Even though Kaname knew these things, he hated that his blood had been necessary. He dropped his sluggishly bleeding wrist to his side. Because of the wound Zero had inflicted with the Bloody Rose, his healing abilities were slowed. He grimaced. He wouldn’t be able to go back to the Aidou vacation house immediately. His injuries would only rattle his nobles and cause problems. He would have to stay in his dorm room until they closed.  

“Violated, indeed,” he repeated Zero’s choice of word in the quiet of the room. _‘The first person to feed from me was not the person I wished…but at least I was able to save my neck from his fangs…’_ He touched his neck gently with two fingers and ran them gently along his pulse. His eyelids dipped downward as he imagined Yuuki’s fangs sinking into his neck, taking him in as he so desperately longed for her to do. Kaname gave a small sigh and dropped his hand down to his side. “Two more months,” he sighed. _‘Just two months and she’ll be mine…in every sense of the word.’_ He smiled as he remembered her timid kiss against his lips. “But to have her as my lover will soften that ache…”

Kaname was patient. He had waited ten years for Yuuki to remember him; he could wait a measly two months to have her to himself so as long as she remembered him. So as long as Kaname was free to be with her without the barriers, he would wait those two months without compliant.

He gave a quiet sigh and walked out of the training room. His wrist and shoulder itched desperately; his body ached from running after Yuuki all day and then from whatever that was with Zero; and he was exhausted. His body was working desperately to replenish the blood Zero had taken, but the wound from the vampire weapon slowed the process. To the Pureblood, sleep sounded amazing right now. He thought of his bed at the Night Dormitory and wished…not for the first time…that Yuuki would be there to share it with him. He hadn’t always been that way of course. In his life he had left behind, he slept alone frequently; he had even preferred it. Yuuki had changed that for him. When they were children, she had climbed into his bed so often that he soon forgot how it was to sleep any other way. After Juri had sealed away her memories, he had missed her tiny warmth beside him.

 _‘Two months,’_ he reminded himself as he walked the path to the back gate. _‘Just two more months.’_


	11. Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaname deals with Yuuki’s intense thirst and the changes her merging with the sealed part of her have brought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

Kaname walked into his bedroom at the Night Dorm. He closed the door behind him with one hand while the other worked at loosening the buttons of his stained shirt. As he walked toward his bed, his foot tapped something and sent it rolling across the carpet. He looked down to see an empty bottle of Tylenol. He bent and picked it up. Immediately, he recognized it as Yuuki’s. He furrowed his brow. _‘What is this doing…?’_ His eyes widened. _‘No…’_ He had foolishly forgotten that her senses were better now; she would have been able to smell the blood: _his blood_.

He heard a quiet whimper of pain come from his bed; his heart froze. _‘How could I have so foolishly forgotten her thirst?’_ He beat himself up as he walked closer to the shaking body on the bed. He could see her arms were wrapped tightly around her waist. She was curled up as tightly as her little body would allow.

“Yuuki?” Kaname breathed as he climbed onto the edge of his bed. He braced his knee against the bed and reached for her shoulder with the hand not supporting himself. Before he could touch her, she rolled over to face him; her eyes opened and stole his breathe. Glowing red eyes peered up at him. Her hunger and her anger shimmered in her eyes.

“Such a cruel man,” Yuuki panted before her hands darted up and grabbed his shoulders. She jerked him down, hooked her leg over his waist, and rolled him. She straddled his hips boldly and pressed her hands to his shoulders. He stared up at ceiling in surprise for a moment, before he relaxed completely underneath her. Yuuki blinked; instinctively, she knew this was his way of submitting to her. It only made her angrier with him. “Taunting me like this,” she whispered against his earlobe. He shivered as she skimmed her lips along his neck; she clenched her knees hard around his hips as she pushed away. Her hand pushed down hard on his wounded shoulder, but he concealed the pain, “knowing that I can’t partake…”

“That was not my intention,” Kaname said ruefully as he raised his hand to her cheek. She tilted her head into his hand, but it wasn’t to savor his touch this time; her glowing eyes were angry still. He doubted she even felt his hand on her cheek.

“Oh? Then what was your intention, On-ii-sam-a?” She asked, stressing the syllables of the title. She folded her fingers around his wrist and pulled his sleeve down, exposing the marks Zero’s fangs had left. Shame bubbled in his stomach that she should see the marks left by another. “You thought to help another by giving him your blood?” Her fingers were deceitfully gently against the wound; he could see the hurt and rage swirling in her eyes. “Do you enjoy your double standards, Kaname? I am not allowed to give Zero my blood, but you can?” His eyes widened as her mouth tilted toward the slash. He saw her jaw move and watched her tongue peak out from between her lips. Regretfully, he jerked his wrist out of her hand before she could lick his wound. Her glowing red eyes flicked up to his face.

“You will go insane if you drink my blood without waking,” he warned her. Her lips set in an irresistible pout. He waited, watching her, trying to see if she was understanding him.

“If I did,” her eyes piercing him, “it would be of your own fault, Kaname. I came here to escape the temptation…but then, here you are,” he shivered as her hands moved into his open shirt and danced up his bare chest, “teasing me with your blood…blood you gave to Zero, regardless of the state he would be left in, and then cruelly denying me?” Her nails dug into the skin above his heart, drawing blood. He could see it in her eyes; she was warring with herself even now. The red of her eyes would shift in brightness as the human Yuuki fought to take control of her vampire half. For the first time, the full weight of what it meant for Yuuki to remain human pushed down on him.  

“No, Yuuki,” Kaname mourned; his tone was choked with his distress at seeing her like this and knowing there was little he could do to soothe her. He pulled her down onto his chest and tucked her face on the opposite of his neck. “Calm down,” he plead as he ran his fingers through her hair. His breathe left him as he felt her tongue run up his neck. A small part of him wanted to bare his neck to her and let her take what her body so clearly wanted, but the larger part of him screamed that he stop her. “Yuuki,” he tried to sound stern, but the feeling of her tongue gently running his throat stole his breathe. Her blunt teeth—a clear reminder of her humanity—scrapping across his throat snapped him out of it. “Stop!” He begged as he forced himself to push her away. He held her by her biceps gently as he tried to reason with her, “you asked for two months, Yuuki.”

The gentle yet desperately spoken statement served as a lifeboat; Yuuki latched onto it to keep from drowning in the haze of thirst again. _‘I asked him for two months. But…why? I can learn everything I need to as a vampire…and probably faster…’_ Zero’s, Yori’s, and Kaien’s faces flashed through her mind. _‘Oh,’_ Yuuki realized as she battled closer to the shore of sanity, _‘I wanted to reassure them that I would be okay…If I do this now…if I beg Kaname to make me like him, I won’t be able to get or give closure…’_

“I know, I know,” she panted as she desperately tried to beat back the thirst. Her eyes flickered between their normal color and that brilliant red. He knew the moment they fell on his still bleeding shoulder. “But I want it,” she whimpered pitifully. He moved one hand away from her arms and grabbed for his pillow. He covered his shoulder with it. “It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.” Her hands, which had remained idle until that moment, curled into fists around the open sides of his shirt. Tears rolled from her eyes again.

“I know, love, I know. I’m so sorry,” he apologized as he wiped the tears away from her cheeks. “Sit up for a minute. I have something that might help.” Yuuki rose up on her knees; Kaname slid his hand into his pocket and took out his box of blood tablets. She settled back down onto his hips. He extended the tablets to Yuuki. She took it and swallowed down four. “Better?” He asked. She shook her head.

“I can’t stop thinking about…” she trailed off, but he gathered what she was going to say in the way her eyes lingered on the pillow. He stared at her, contemplating.

“Would you like me to distract you?” He asked as he propped up onto his elbows.

“Distract me? How?” She asked. Kaname gently reached up and cupped the back of her head. With a little bit of pressure, he coaxed her head down to him. She gasped quietly as his lips pressed against hers. She stared at him in confusion as he pulled away only an inch.

“Focus only on me, Yuuki. Until the hunger fades, focus only on me,” he told her softly as he captured her lips again. Yuuki let her eyes slide closed and fell into his kiss. As he told her, she focused only on him. She focused on the taste and feel of his lips; she focused on his fingertips as they ran up and down her arms. Her full attention was so keyed in on Kaname that she didn’t notice when the thirst faded. She was only concerned with more of him.

Her hands, which had been holding so tightly to his shirt, roamed up his chest and down his stomach. Though her touch sent shivers of longing down Kaname’s spine, he knew it would be a good idea to stop. Gently, he stifled the fire he had lit inside of her. He set his hands over hers and slowed their kisses. He leaned her forehead against his and pulled back slightly when she tried to initiate more of those mind-blowing kisses. Kaname knew if he let her lips meet his again, he would lose himself in her; and it would be too soon. She blinked lethargically at him. He let himself feel a sense of manly pride. Yuuki’s lips were swollen; her cheeks were flushed endearingly; and her breathing was rapid. For a moment, he forgot that he shouldn’t kiss her again. His lips dipped toward hers; at the last second, he seemed to realize what he was about to do and pulled away. Yuuki gave a quiet whimper.

“Sorry,” Kaname apologized. “But I couldn’t let us get carried away, love.”

“Why not?” Yuuki breathed, staring at his lips.

“Because this is not how I want our first time to happen.” She flushed at the casual mention of their future sex life. He chuckled, “so adorable.” Yuuki’s heart skipped a beat when she realized she was still sitting on him…and that something was poking her. _‘Oh my god…’_ She blushed deeper and rolled off of him. _‘Oh my god…’_ She covered her face with her hands. He rolled onto his side so that he faced her.

“I’m sorry, Onii-sama,” she muttered around her hands. ‘ _I can’t believe I did,_ ’ she saw flashes of her tongue roaming up his neck, her hands feeling his chest, _‘all that!’_ She whimpered as she tried to fight away the embarrassment threatening to swallow her. She had been so brazen, so forward! Yuuki pressed her hands harder to her cheeks as she heard his warm chuckle. His hands folded gently around her wrists.

“Don’t hide from me, love,” he said quietly as he pulled her hands away from her face. She let him. She exposed her fiery blush to him. Amusement and adoration danced in his eyes as he leaned down and pressed a small kiss to her nose. The look in his eyes and his tender treatment soothed her embarrassment enough for the blush to fade. “Are you alright?”

“Are you?” She returned the question. Gently, she peeled the pillow from off of his shoulder. Only the dry blood kept the pillow hanging on; the wound itself had, mercifully for her, healed up. Yuuki ran her thumb across the bare flesh she could see. “Did you get into a fight with Zero?”

“Something like that,” Kaname muttered. “I couldn’t have him feeding from you anymore. So, I offered him another solution.” Yuuki’s eyes widened. Before it occurred to her to ask him if Zero was still breathing, she remembered something that she had said when underneath the thrall of bloodlust. Her hand fell to his wrist. He nodded, confirming her accusation.  

“Onii-sama…” She breathed. Yuuki had this knowledge of what it must have cost him. The other Yuuki didn’t have to tell her; it was something Yuuki knew because the other one knew it. By letting Zero feed from him, Kaname had given what was meant for Yuuki away. It wasn’t just his blood, but the experience of being the first one to sink her fangs into him. She furrowed her brows. In a way, she understood why the vampire part of her was so enraged. She felt robbed. But the human part of her was angry at the double standard he had imposed, worried over how much blood Zero had taken from him, and angry that he had put himself in that kind of danger. _‘At least Zero likes me! He hates him!’_

“Are you angry with me?” He wondered; he too remembered her words. Yuuki frowned, shook her head, and then nodded her head. She slapped her hands down onto the comforter and huffed.

“No. Well, yes. Kind of. But not for the same reasons she is,” her answer only confused him. He had heard her say things like that before, but everything else—her remembering, her acceptance of him—had overrode his confusion.

“Will you explain that to me, Yuuki?” Kaname asked as he propped his head up with his hand. Yuuki blinked and looked up at him.

“I can try, but it’s still a little confusing to me too,” she admitted, warning him then that there were answers she just didn’t have. “At the start, it was like having another person living inside my head. Just the knowledge that they were there, but then…I started hearing her. She talked to me and helped me. I think…as we merge…I’ll hear her less and less and her thoughts will begin to sound like mine.” She furrowed her brows. “No…that’s not true. The distinction fades. We’re closer to merging now than we were a few days ago. It’s easier for her to take me over. There’s still that wall there, but it’s weak. As I am now, I seem to have her consciousness, her knowledge…Her nature as a vampire didn’t define her. Our personality did. For example,” she sat up, “for her, this,” she waved between them, “isn’t weird for her…so in translation, it’s not weird for me. But, there’s a small part of me—an echo—that screams it’s inappropriate for me to be with you like this.”

“So, her nature is overwriting your human morals?” Kaname questioned. He had never thought on what it would be like for Yuuki if he had to change her back: the aftermath, how she would cope with being a vampire but having been raised human. He was seeing her confusion first hand. Yuuki shook her head at his question.  

“No. There was no overwrite, you see? I get what she was trying to tell me now. She wasn’t overwriting me because, in a way, she was what I was meant to be. That Yuuki was the real me all along. She just needed me to accept it.”

“And have you?” Kaname interrupted softly.

“I think…mostly I have. The animalistic thirst I could, understandably, do without, but I’m coping.”

“Is she still…there?” He tested. Kaname wanted to see how far along the merging was. Yuuki pursed her lips.

“In a way…our personalities, our consciousness seems to have already merged, but the part of her that made her a vampire—the thirst, the fangs, and the power—are held back by the wall. I can only draw on them or be affected by them at certain times, but I am trying. Before I smelt your blood,” her eyes flashed red, but Kaname relaxed when she showed no signs of that desperate need, “I was trying to meditation.” Her eyes fell away from his face. Her fingertips danced along the hand that lay across his stomach. Her fingers danced along his, dipped in the little grooves made by his fingers, and then traced the veins on the back of his hand. “I remember that Father tried to teach me to meditate often…but I never gave him more than ten seconds before I got distracted.” Kaname smiled, but there was a small amount of sadness to it. He was happy that she remembered the good, but he was also sad because it only reinforced that they were gone.

“I remember,” still his voice was warm when he spoke, “you gave him less than ten if I walked in the room.” Yuuki blushed and ran her finger around his nails gently.

“I just wanted to be with you…” She grumbled. Her eyes flicked up to him, her blush worsened as she whispered, “that hasn’t changed. It never did, not even after mother erased my memories. I would sit by the window and wait for you. I would feel such joy when I saw you walking up the path that it took everything in me to wait inside.” Kaname chuckled; once, he had seen her through the window. She would bounce on her feet while waiting and then the minute the door would open she would launch herself into his arms. “But…the loneliness in your eyes always bothered me. Even when you were with me, you were thinking of her. The girl I used to be.”

“Yes,” Kaname admitted; his tone was filled with that old loneliness. Yuuki pinched his thumb.

“Such a twisted Onii-sama,” she teased. She giggled at his rueful smile and said, “I suppose I was no better. I was jealous of _myself_ and I didn’t even know it. I could tell every time you held me there was someone else on your mind, but I never asked because I knew that if you were there with me, instead of with her, then she must be gone. I didn’t want to make you sad.” Silence fell over them for a moment. Yuuki surprised him by slapping her hands to her thighs and saying, “anyway! I was trying meditation, that you so rudely interrupted by bleeding,” she shot him a mocking glare; he smiled when she giggled, “to manage my powers. Maybe…if I could calm down, I wouldn’t be exploding mirrors.”

“That’s a sound plan…” Kaname agreed. “Would you like me to help you?” Yuuki flushed.

“I would like that, but I think having you around would only distract me.” His smile faltered. “Part of the reason I demanded to stay human for two months was so that I could come to terms with my powers. Learn to wield them as a human so that I wouldn’t be an embarrassment to you when you reintroduced me into the vampire world.”

“You could never embarrass me,” Kaname promised as he pressed a kiss to her hand. She blushed.

“I know. Maybe you could help me in other ways,” she offered. “What should I expect as your,” she flushed, “lover?” He chuckled at her bashful expression.

“Besides my infinite devotion and unending affection?” He teased; her blush worsened. “I will hold off on telling the nobles until we are back in school, but after I do, they will act differently around you.” Yuuki quirked an eyebrow.

“Different how?”

“They will address you as ‘sama’ as they do me.” Her lips fell open. “Get used to it now, Yuuki,” he told her gently, “you will be hearing it a lot after you are changed back.”

“Will you tell them about who I am?” Kaname shook his head.

“It would be better for them to find out after your transition.” Yuuki relaxed on the bed.

“What else should I expect?” For the rest of the night, they talked. Sometimes it was about what she should expect as his lover; at other times it was what he should expect as hers; and then there were times when they talked about other meaningless things. By the time it came for them to part, they had torn down all walls built and closed all distances between them. Their hearts were ridiculously light when he rose from the bed and extended his hand to her.

Yuuki smiled and let him help her from bed. “I put leaving off for as long as I could,” he told her. “The Nobles will be getting restless if I don’t return.”

“I understand,” she reassured him as he pulled her close. His hand came up to tangle in her hair, but he didn’t have to guide her head to tilt up. She did it herself. Her lips pouted up at him, begging to be kissed. His eyes were warm on hers as he leaned down. Her eyelids fluttered closed as he neared her. He dipped his eyelids down and let out a quiet breath as her lips molded gently to his. So warm, so soft. Kaname hoped that he never grew tired of the feel of her lips moving against his. He pulled away with deep regret. As she opened her eyes and smiled up at him, he found that he could resist ducking down and stealing another kiss. She giggled. “Kaname, you have to go.” She reminded him. He sighed.

“I do,” he forced himself away from her. His hand ghosted over her cheek before his body broke apart in that familiar burst of bats. Yuuki giggled as they gently tugged her hair and playfully grabbed her shirt as they passed. She turned and watched as they flew opened window. She smiled softly as she smoothed her hair down. Her smile faltered as she recalled how she had left the Headmaster’s house. She could feel the sun coming; she sighed and forced herself to leave Kaname’s bedroom. She moved downstairs and locked the Night Dorm’s door behind her.

**X**

Kaien rubbed at his eyes before he put his glasses back on. He had, had a poor night’s sleep; all night, he had tossed and turned. He worried insanely about his young daughter. Knowing that the vampire inside of her had broken the seal was a frightening thing. He had no doubt that her nightmares last night were a product of the seal’s weakness. _‘If she even had nightmares at all…’_ He worried. There was something in the thuds, something in her voice that said she was less afraid for herself and more afraid for him. He furrowed his brows. _‘She described the thirst perfectly to Zero…and Zero says that she has been the one taking blood tablets.’_ Kaien tried to be an optimist but it was difficult. Yuuki was going to have such a horrible time ahead of her. The thirst was a vicious, relentless thing. He had watched it tear Zero—a former human—apart; he could only imagine what it would do to a human—to his Yuuki. She had no way to quench her thirst; she could try but even if she managed to tear the skin, the blood would taste wrong on her lips. For the first time in many years, Kaien turned to prayer. _‘Please, let my little girl get through these two months…so that she may walk alongside Kaname for the rest of her days…and…if she does lose herself before those two months…let Kaname make it in time to save her…’_

He shuddered at the thought of his sweet daughter going insane. A Level E was considered dangerous, but a Pureblood trapped in a human body mad with thirst? It would take a special kind of hunter to bring her down. He closed his eyes. _‘Hopefully, not a Legendary member…’_ He coaxed himself from bed.

He walked down the hallway, intent on checking on Yuuki. He peeked into her bedroom and relaxed immediately. He could see her curled on her side. She slept, facing the door. Her hand was discreetly tucked underneath her pillow while the other rested underneath her chin. He smiled and closed the door behind him.

In the darkness of her room, Yuuki let out a quiet giggle and threw her cover off of her in order to undress. She breathed a sigh of relief as she shed her clothes. _‘That had been close,’_ she thought. _‘I’d barely just closed the window when I heard him coming…’_ She slid one of her many nightgowns over her head and buttoned the four large buttons at the front. She caught sight of herself in the mirror and blushed. Her giddiness seemed to radiate from her.

For the first time in a long time, she felt like a normal teenage girl, sneaking in after a night with her boyfriend. She flushed at the thought and bit into her bottom lip. _‘Nothing happen-e-d…’_ The image of Kaname splayed underneath her rose up in her mind again; her hands tingled with the memory of his chest underneath them; her heart quickened as she remembered his words.

_“Focus only on me…”_

_“…I couldn’t let us get carried away, love.”_

_“This is not how I want our first time to happen.”_

_‘Oh!’_ Her responding blush could have lit the room with its intensity. She covered her face with her hands and gave a quiet whimper. She just knew those moments were going to follow her into her dreams.

**X**

Kaname shed his shirt and his pants the moment his feet touched the plush carpet of his room at the Aidou vacation home. He left his clothes at the side of the bed and slipped underneath the full covers. He gave a quiet contented sigh; he had never felt more at peace, more calm than he had at this moment. He closed his eyes. His night, his blissful night, with Yuuki ran back through his head. His lips turned up in a satisfied smile.

He would savor these quiet moments with her; for he knew that when school started again, those moments where it was just her and him—no one peeking over their shoulders, no whispers or scowls—would become few and far between. He happily invited the memory of her kiss, the memory of her hands into his dreams.


	12. That Little Sliver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki finally talks to Zero about the revelations she had recently stumbled upon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

Nine a.m. glowed brightly in the somewhat darkened room; the only light spilled in through the tightly drawn curtains. The room’s only occupant slept soundly. She rolled over onto her side and cuddled deeper into the covers. She looked, for all purposes, to be fast asleep; but slowly, her eyelashes began to flutter against her cheeks. She gave a quiet, disenchanted groan as her eyes opened the rest of the way. Her traitorous body answered her human sensibilities. Daylight, they reminded her, wasn’t meant to be slept away. Yuuki stubbornly stayed underneath the covers; and just to spite those sensibilities, she covered her head with her blanket. She closed her eyes determinedly, but after a few minutes, the space became stuffy. She shoved the covers off of her viciously and glared at the happily sighing numbers. She gave an impressive growl and slammed her body back against the bed.

“Oh, come on,” she moaned, “just till twelve…just give me three more hours!” After a few more minutes of trying to force her body to sleep, it became clear that her plea had gone unanswered. She sighed and pulled her legs out of underneath the cover. She sat at the edge of her bed and ran a hand through her hair; all the while, she mean-eyed the clock that cheerfully told her it was nine-forty. She slumped out of bed and stomped to her closet. She grabbed a random shirt, skirt, and a pair of leggings from the closet and pulled them all on. She rubbed her eyes as she moved into the bathroom to get ready for her day.

As she rinsed off of her face, a thought occurred to her. She couldn’t hear Zero moving about the house. He hadn’t come back for breakfast. Yuuki lowered the towel to the edge of the sink and narrowed her eyes in the mirror. She had put up with his absence last night because she had been a coward, because she had been scared to face him. But now, now that she knew Kaname had, for lack of a better word, fed him, the need to see him was only greater.

She wanted, no she needed, to make sure he was okay. The act of taking blood using one’s fangs was meant to be intimate; it was why vampire lovers drank only from their partners. A vampire shared their feelings, their emotions with the person drinking from them. A rush of jealousy ran through Yuuki at the thought. The anger from last night rose back up. Her vampire inside raged that Kaname had given something to Zero that was meant only for her. She clenched her jaw and crushed that emotion down. _‘Kaname’s body is his to do what he wishes,’_ she told the vampire part of her; still, she pushed the door open a little too hard. The handle knocked a smooth hole into the wall. She stomped down the stairs.

Something pushed her to walk out the front door instead of stopping to greet the Headmaster. She heard him call after her in confusion, but she didn’t turn around. Unbeknownst to her, the vampire had latched onto her body. The merging was so far along that Yuuki couldn’t tell that these actions were not her own decision.    

X

Zero admitted he was sulking, but he felt justified. Kaname Kuran’s poisonous blood was still squirming inside him; the pure wrongness of it kept him awake all night. Despite all of that, as bad as he hated to admit it, he did feel more in control. He picked his arm up from his over his eyes. He could hear a racing heartbeat coming toward the stairs. Zero gave a quiet, joyless laugh and thunked his arm back over his eyes. He could smell her before she reached the door; that familiar scent of orange blossoms and ginger filtered into his nose. Yuuki had apparently grown tired to waiting for him to come to her; honestly, he had been surprised that she had waited as long as she had to confront him.

Yuuki had calmed down during the walk over; she didn’t feel so violently angry, but the courage that the anger had granted her stayed. She knocked on the door. She could hear his heart beat; she knew he was in there. She narrowed her eyes. ‘ _He’s ignoring me,_ ’ she deducted. She clenched her jaw and opened the door. He sat up the minute he saw her.

“No, don’t get up,” she snapped. “I would hate to inconvenience you.” Zero’s eyebrows shot up. He was surprised by the level of rage he felt coming from her; the part of him still angry over Kuran’s blood grasped onto that. Her rage only fueled his.   

“What’s wrong with you?” He demanded without raising his voice. Yuuki rolled her lips together. What would she say? She couldn’t tell him that she was jealous or hurt. She couldn’t tell him that she felt betrayed because he wouldn’t understand why she felt that way. She set her hips to the side and latched onto what she felt would have been a reasonable excuse, one that she would have used days ago.

“I know good and well that you knew Yori was just a cover, so why didn’t you confront me? Are you avoiding me? Do you have any idea how worried I-” Zero snorted disbelieving. Yuuki’s eyes narrowed in anger as she forced herself to finish the sentence he had so rudely interrupted, “was when the Headmaster told me you weren’t coming home…”

“Worried? Oh yeah, you were really worried, Yuuki. Kuran must have been beside himself,” he said harshly. Yuuki’s lips fell apart. Zero couldn’t stop now; his own hurt emotions were rushing forward. He scoffed at her surprised look. “Yeah, Kuran told me everything.” Yuuki’s face drained of color. Zero’s anger faltered at the look on her face. He had never seen her so horrified. Betrayal shined in those beautiful eyes; even though he knew the look was not meant for him, it still robbed him of his breath. He sat there numbly, frozen by that look shining in her eyes.  

“What?” She asked breathlessly. “He…he told you?” Yuuki’s mind raced. Her heart screamed that Kaname would not have told Zero; but her mind—the part of her that knew how deeply their animosity ran—whispered that, in the heat of the moment, he could have spilled her secret because he knew how much it would hurt Zero. Much to her chagrin and Zero’s complete horror, tears started to gather in her eyes.

“He told me you had come to visit him,” his voice was unconsciously reassuring and apologetic, “and that you had talked to him about what you refused to share with me.” Yuuki could hear his hurt in his last sentence. She looked at his bare feet, unable to look in his eyes any longer.  

“Kaname…was…well acquainted with my situation before I confronted to him…”  She muttered. Zero stared at her bowed head and frowned; he didn’t understand what she was saying. She could sense his confusion. _‘Bite the bullet, Cross…um…I mean Kuran,_ ’ she told herself as she looked up toward the ceiling. A small bubble of courage grew in her stomach as she thought, _‘this is Zero.’_ The thought that gave her courage also scared her so much. She sank down on the bed beside him, but she didn’t look at him. Her eyes stayed on the floor. “I found out about my past…but the truth is I’ve known for a few days who I am,” she started. _‘Can’t stop now…’_ She knew. “Talking to Kaname just confirmed what I already knew…”

Zero was afraid to speak; Yuuki was talking to him about her problems, sharing with him. If he spoke…she might stop. “I…” She stopped. Yuuki had been close to telling him who she was, but then she remembered just who she was talking to. _‘No…’_ She shook her head unconsciously, _‘don’t go there yet. Start at the beginning, like I did for Kaname…’_ She clenched her hands into fists and continued, “At first, it was just frightening flashes of blood or a woman covered in blood. But when I was unconscious after,” she trailed off, but Zero knew what she was speaking of. After he had attacked her. He nodded for her to continue. “After…I found a part of my subconscious that had been sealed. Behind that seal was all my memories, all my secrets….and I couldn’t deal with it for a long time. I couldn’t deal with the truth of it…not fully, not until I talked to Kaname.”

“What…was the truth, Yuuki?” He asked softly, fearing a sound louder than a whisper would spook her. She bit deeply into her bottom lip and clenched her hands into fists.

“I…” She sighed violently. Suddenly, she spun on him. Her knees were up on the bed and she was facing him. The look in her eyes was so frightened, so desperate that his heart hammered in response. “You have to promise not to hate me, not to shun me.”

“I won’t,” he promised her warmly as he curled his fingers over her fists.

“You say that,” she whispered, “but you don’t know what it is I have to tell you just yet.”

“Then tell me,” he coaxed gently. _‘I already know…’_

“I’m-a-Pureblood-vampire-and-Kaname’s-my-brother.”

“What?” Even with his advanced hearing, he didn’t catch all of that. Yuuki swallowed. “Say that again?” He requested.

“I’m a Pureblood, Zero.” She said slowly. Zero stared. Thinking about it and hearing it confirmed were to different things, but strangely enough the knowledge didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. He waited for the disgust to come, for the same hatred he felt toward all other Purebloods to rage up inside of him; he waited, but nothing came. He only felt the same things he always did. When he looked at Yuuki, he only saw Yuuki. He didn’t see a manipulative Pureblood; he saw the young girl who sat by his side and stayed with him until he fell asleep. He saw the girl that stood by his side. He blinked.

“Okay,” he muttered. Yuuki blinked. “You’re a Pureblood,” he said aloud. He knew it could have been one of two: Pureblood or Noble. Since Headmaster Cross had told him, he had unconsciously prepared himself for both answers.  Still, he waited for those negative emotions to rush up inside.

“You accepted that relatively easy,” she worried. His eyes widened as she reached out and placed her hand over his forehead. “You’re not getting sick, are you?” Zero rolled his eyes and grasped her wrist. He brought it down between them, but didn’t let go.

“I found the blood tablets in your room,” he confessed. “I knew you had been taking them, so I confronted the Headmaster. He told him that you had been a vampire since birth. He just didn’t tell me which one.”

“Oh.” She didn’t want to tell him the rest. She was going to; she had tried, but now…looking into his lavender eyes and feeling his warm hands touching her, her courage was gone. She couldn’t force the rest of her story out. Yuuki was so afraid Zero would reject her as violently. Despite this very startling calmness he had, she worried that if he knew who she was really he would come to look at her as he did Kaname. She didn’t want to be Zero’s enemy; just the thought of his lavender eyes—so warm right now—becoming cold in hatred tore at her heart. Selfishly, she wanted time. She wanted time to get ready for that look.

“What all did you and Kuran talk about?” Zero’s voice brought her out of the depression that was threatening to swallow her. She blinked and looked up at him.  

“Why I’m like this…” She told him. “We talked about my parents and why mother sealed my memories away. We talked about whether or not I should be turned back into a vampire…” She felt him tense; she didn’t look up. Yuuki simply distracted herself by tracing the tattoo on his neck. She recalled the day he had come home with it and the days after; the moment he would enter a room, her eyes would be drawn to it. Surprise ripped through her as she felt the familiar stirrings of hunger; she jerked her eyes away. She rolled her lips together and prepared to tell him the conclusion they had come to.

Zero couldn’t hear it. Not right now, probably not ever. He raised a hand and laid it over her mouth; he kept his touch light so he wouldn’t reawaken any bad memories. He felt her lips brush closed again his hand; sharp tingles shot from that spot and down his spine. He dropped his hand from over her mouth without saying a word. Yuuki stared at him, reading him in the way only she seemed able. She smiled ruefully and nodded. Relief lightened his heart. Yuuki flopped back onto his bed. “Can I just…stay here and sulk with you?”

“I wasn’t sulking,” Zero muttered. Though he would never say it, he was immensely grateful for her teasing. It reassured him even further that she was still his Yuuki.   

“Sure you weren’t,” Yuuki shot back with a small grin. “You were just sitting here staring at the ceiling because it’s so entertaining.” She felt the bed shift; her eyes popped open. She turned her head and found herself staring directly at Zero’s neck. He had laid down beside her and was now getting comfortable.

“What?” He grouched at feeling her eyes on him, “it’s my bed.”

“Yeah,” Yuuki muttered as she looked away from his fluttering pulse. She looked up at the ceiling and closed her eyes. _‘It’s just…you usually don’t lie down beside me…_ ’ Yuuki didn’t bother to analyze it; she just wanted to rest. Now that she knew they were okay, that he was okay, the urge to sleep was upon her heavier than ever. His warmth beside her and the familiar smell of leather and his shampoo coaxed her even further toward sleep. She let out a quiet sigh as sleep pulled her under.

Zero laid there beside her, not sleeping. Her warmth brought up another cherished memory of his.

_“Zero!” The first thing he was aware of her was a gentle voice calling his name; the second was of the warm hand that was sliding through his hair. “It’s only a nightmare.” And then, he was aware of the tight grip he had on something; he could feel the pulse fluttering underneath his hand. His eyes snapped open in horror. Yuuki’s eyes were filled with her discomfort, but she smiled softly at him anyway. “Thank goodness.” He let go of her wrist as if it had burned him. He watched in remorse as his handprint stayed._

_“I’m sorry,” he apologized quietly._

_“It’s okay. It only hurt a little,” she dismissed his apology; her fingers still running through his hair. Tonight, it wasn’t enough to help him. He reached up and gently took her hand from his hair._

_Zero had dreamt of Ichiru. He knew what he needed, but he didn’t know if he could ask. It would inappropriate to ask…and they would more than likely get in trouble with the Headmaster if she complied. He watched her trap her bottom lip with her teeth; he blinked as she climbed shifted from her chair and threw her knee up on the bed._

_“Wha-” He started to question. Her cheeks burned brightly as she shook her head. Despite her embarrassment she didn’t stop climbing up on his bed. Zero was tempted to stop her, but the larger part of him—the part that cried out for comfort—won. He let her; Zero even scooted back to allow her more room on the tiny bed. She laid down beside him. His eyes widened as she turned and wrapped an arm around his waist. Her eyes were fixed on his neck, instead of on his face._

_“My rubbing your head isn’t going to work tonight…so I’ll stay with you like this until you fall asleep,” she said bravely despite the heavy blush spreading across her cheeks._

_“You don’t have to force yourself, stupid,” Zero muttered as he closed his eyes._

_“Meanie,” Yuuki grumbled._

That hadn’t been the last time they had shared a bed together either. However, they had gotten caught by the Headmaster once. He had launched into a long tirade about how inappropriate it was for them to share a bed at their age; Zero had stopped his ranting and Yuuki’s attempts at telling him that nothing went on by slamming the door in his face. Zero smiled slightly at the memory. If it had been considered inappropriate then—he being thirteen and her being twelve—he could only imagine how inappropriate it would be considered now. Still, as he stared down at her sleeping face, he couldn’t find it in himself to care. It wasn’t like the dorm president was making his rounds; there were no other students in the Academy and the Headmaster wasn’t likely to stumble across them. He wanted to bask in these moments, no matter how bittersweet they felt.

For this moment in time, Yuuki was his. Zero wasn’t like most men; he could not lie to himself. He knew and acknowledged that, for the rest of the time, she was Kuran’s. Her blood screamed the knowledge to each time he drank, but there was this faint little shout that said, no matter how much she loved Kuran, she loved him too. Maybe the love in her heart for him was different, weaker even, but she still reserved that little sliver for him that Kuran could never take.

Zero’s eyes widened as she gave a quiet grumble and turned into his chest. Her hands curled underneath her chin. His heart warmed. Only Yuuki, he knew, could give that little sliver away. As he timidly laid a hand on her waist, he prayed that she never would. She gave a quiet mumble that his ears had no problem picking up on: “Kaname…” He gave a dull chuckle and removed his hand from over her waist. _‘Of course,’_ he mocked himself as he pressed his hand over his eyes. His heart ached as he detangled himself from her and slipped from the bed. As the door closed behind him, Yuuki rolled into his vacated spot. As he walked away, he cursed his senses for picking up her whisper of “I love you.” He sighed and looked up toward the ceiling.

Yes, Zero had never been one to fool himself. He knew Yuuki belonged to Kaname, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Sometimes, he wished he had met her first; at least that way he would have had a chance of conquering her heart.   


	13. Turmoil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Yuuki accepts the responsibility that comes with her eventual transformation, Zero struggles with the two dominant parts of his being: the vampire hunter and the man…or vampire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

The rest of Yuuki’s winter holidays passed without incident. Zero and she were civil to one another; the Headmaster forced his “original” meals on them; and Yuuki meditated without disturbance. The only problem was her sleep schedule. It was made erratic by the warring sides of her being—vampire and human. Some nights, she would sleep and rise with the sun; other nights, she would stay awake and be complied to sleep during the day. So, when morning came in the Sun Dorms, Yuuki found herself unable to wake up.

 _*Poke.*_ Yuuki’s brows furrowed in frustration as she felt a finger stab her cheek. “Yuuki,” Yori called as she jabbed her pointy finger against her best friend’s cheek again. “Wake up.” _*Poke. Poke.*_ “Yuuki,” she sang again. Yuuki gave an aggravated groan and rolled over. _*Poke.*_ Yori prodded her in the back now. _*Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.*_ Yori’s finger faltered as Yuuki rolled over and cracked her eyes open in a vicious glare.

“Stop it, Yori,” Yuuki demanded as she caught her friend’s finger before it could meet her cheek. Yori flinched slightly underneath the tight grip. Yuuki released her immediately. 

“Well, wake up!” Yori cried out in exasperation as she flexed her index finger. “You’ll be late for your first day back.” She stood up and smoothed down her skirt. She cast Yuuki a curious look as she pondered, “How can you be tired after the two week hiatus?” 

“You’d be surprised,” Yuuki grumbled as she forced herself to sit up. Yori blinked.  

“Did Zero-kun and you fight over the holidays?” She asked. Yuuki blinked. _‘Huh?’_

“Oh, no! We actually...” She looked away from Yori’s concerned toffee eyes and picked at the fraying edge of her blanket. “We’re probably in a better place than we were before the holidays started.”

“Oh, well, that’s great,” Yori smiled. “Get dressed,” she reminded her best friend. Yuuki gave an annoyed groan and tossed the cover aside; she swept her legs over the bed and grumbled:

“I wish I could join the Night Class…they get to sleep in all the time…”

“Yeah,” Yori drawled, “but I think your test results would hinder you.”

“Yori-chan!!” Yuuki whined in mock offense. Yori pursed her lips and looked away from her with a falsely innocent expression. A pillow, pink and fluffy, smacked her in the back of the head as Yuuki stood to get dressed. Yori shot her friend a dirty look as she placed the pillow back onto Yuuki’s bed. Usually such an action would warrant retaliation, but Yori really didn’t want to be late today. She glanced down at her watch and silently timed Yuuki.

Even with Yori’s rushing, Yuuki and she were still the last inside the classroom. They arrived mere seconds before the late bell rang. They shared a quiet giggle and rushed to their seats before the professor could comment.

“I hope you all did your studying over the holidays,” he commented as he walked among the tables, passing out papers. Yuuki furrowed her brows. _‘What? We had to study?’_ She thought. _‘We were on a break!!’_ He set down a piece of paper in front of her and walked past their table. _‘Okay, it’s okay. Don’t panic. Just remember…what did we study before the holidays?_ ’ Once he had reached Zero, he addressed the class, “on your desks now is a pop quiz to refresh your memory on the course work we went over before the holidays. Those who fail will spend detention with me until they get it.” Yuuki smothered a groan and slumped forward. _‘Why do I feel like he just looked at me?’_ She thunked her head down onto the table.

“I’m so doomed,” she muttered underneath her breathe. Yori patted her friend’s shoulder sympathetically.

“Begin,” the professor called. Yuuki picked up her head up and flipped over her page. _‘Alright, I can do this!’_ She encouraged herself as she looked down at the questions on the paper. Math equations stared up at her. Her previous enthusiasm wavered. Numbers. Numbers. Letters. _‘Why are there letters in math? I don’t even remember what to do with you!’_ She sighed forlornly and wrote her name. _‘Okay, calm down. Calm down. I can do this…’_ As she moved to the first problem, she recalled the week before holidays. The teacher had worked examples of these problems on the board; he had walked them through how to solve them. Yuuki blinked. _‘Yeah!’_ She smiled. _‘I know I can do it!’_

**X**

“Time,” the professor’s voice cut through the sound of pencils scratching across paper, “pencils down.” Yuuki stuck her pencil in the little groove on her desk and chewed her bottom lip nervously as he gathered all of the papers.

“How do you think you did?” Yori whispered when their table was cleared.

“I don’t know. I think I did okay…” Yuuki rubbed the back of her neck, “I remembered a little bit of it from before…”

“Really? That’s great.”

“Yeah, I probably still failed though…” Yuuki muttered as she looked down at the teacher’s desk. His brows were furrowed as he graded the papers. For this high up, she couldn’t tell if it was hers or not; judging by that expression, she figured it was. Out of everyone in the class, Yuuki had the lowest grade point average. Being a Disciplinary Committee member was only half of the problem, the other half—Yuuki was convinced—was just her own stupidity.

 _‘Stop being so down on yourself!’_ Yuuki jumped. It was the first time in nearly a week that she had heard the vampire side of her speak up. _‘I told you that I could help you, didn’t I?’_

_‘I knew that was you! There’s no way I would have remembered that from two weeks ago!’_

_‘Exactly. So have a little faith! You might have done it right.’_ The good vibes her vampire half was sending her erased some of her self-doubt. With her mind clear of the pervious melancholy, something occurred to her.

 _‘Why can I hear you now?’_ She asked. Her vampire half’s silence had been bothering her for a little while. She worried that her silence meant bad things; she worried that maybe she had gotten the calculations wrong.

_‘Up until now I’ve been content to simply be a part of you. We’re closer to being one person, so I don’t really need to talk to you as much as I did before.’_

_‘Oh. Makes sense. So…has the time changed? Do I need to be worried?’_

_‘No. You’ve still got two months.’_

Yuuki was torn from her conversation by the teacher’s shocked and awed exclamation of, “I don’t believe it…I really don’t believe it…”  All of the students looked toward his desk. Yuuki blinked as his pure expression of shock; he blinked owlishly down at the paper. His brown eyes flicked up and landed on her. Yuuki tensed and sat back. ‘Oh no…here it comes. I failed. I just know I fail-’ “Yuuki Cross, you…you answered every question correctly!” The gasps that moved through the room would have been insulting had Yuuki not been overcome with the same shock.

“I…I did?”

“Yes!” The man nearly knocked over the desk as he attempted to get up and move toward her. He slapped her paper down onto the tabletop and looked at her. Yuuki swore his eyes were shining; she looked down at the paper.

“Ehhh?!!” She had. She had answered every question correctly. Little checkmarks littered the page indicating that all of them were correct. A big red 100% was drawn above her name. Yuuki stared at that mark in disbelief. Never in her life had she gotten a full 100% on a test. It was always a few points short or a complete failure. The teacher moved away from her and back to his desk. No one could ignore the small pep in his step as he walked down the stairs. Giggles broke out in the room. Yuuki frowned. _‘Oh no…I’ve made his day…’_ While usually that would be a good thing, she felt like it didn’t bode well for her future. If he was this happy over his worst student getting full marks, she couldn’t help but dread how disappointed he would be if she failed the next test. _‘Detention for life…I’d have to move schools…’_ She thought worriedly. She felt Yori gently tap her on the shoulder.

“You realize you’ve set a standard for yourself now. He’s going to expect you to answer all of the tests that well from this point on.” Yuuki’s eyes widened as she registered her friend’s whisper.

“Oh, no pressure…” Yuuki muttered. Yori giggled and patted her arm.

“Maybe Zero-kun will help you,” she gave her friend a small silver lining. Yori looked tauntingly over at her friend and leaned closer, she whispered, “Or _Kaname-sempai_.” Instantly, Yuuki’s cheeks burned red. Not a second after the Pureblood’s name had left Yori’s lips both girls felt the most uncomfortable sensation run up and down their spines. She didn’t have to look behind her to know Zero had overheard. Yori giggled.

Yuuki looked over at her best friend, taking a moment to note the differences she saw in Yori. She certainly was brighter, happier than she had been in the days before the two week holiday. Yuuki furrowed her brows. “You certainly seem to be in a good mood,” Yuuki tested. Yori tensed. Yuuki watched as her friend dug her books out of her satchel and arranged them on the table. She narrowed her eyes. _‘Oh yeah…something is most definitely going on…’_

“I’m just…happy to be away from home is all,” Yori admitted quietly.

“Why? What’s going on?” Yuuki pressed. Yori’s shoulders slumped.

“Father is trying to set me up with some uppity guy that works in his company. No matter how much I tell him I don’t want to go on dates with the guy, he keeps pushing the issue,” Yori grumbled.

“Oh…” Yuuki muttered, looking down at the table top. “You could come stay with me if he keeps pressuring you.” Yori’s head snapped over to her. “I know the Headmaster wouldn’t mind.”

“Alright, alright, students, quiet down.” Whatever Yori was going to say was lost in the beginning of the lesson. Yuuki sighed as Yori immediately redirected her attention to the front of the classroom. “It’s time to start the lesson.” She looked toward the teacher too. _‘I’ll just confront her later…’_ Yuuki decided. _‘I’ll be darned if I’m going to let my best friend be married off to some man that she doesn’t even like…I mean seriously who does her dad think he is?! Marrying your daughter off to profit yourself. This isn’t the old days! He’s already a thousand dollar business tycoon! It’s not like he needs any more money or any more standing in the business world!’_ Yuuki forced herself to calm down and pay attention to what the teacher was attempting to teach.

The girls were silent throughout class. The only sound between them was that of scratching pencils. Yori raised her eyebrows at the sight of Yuuki actually taking notes for herself, but she didn’t comment. Maybe her friend was going to start trying to do better. _‘Though I can’t help but wonder what brought on her sudden academic dedication…’_ Yori pondered as she pulled her eyes away from her best friend. She allowed herself a quiet chuckle as she thought, _‘Then again, she could just be taking notes to stay awake…’_

Soon, the bell that signaled the end of that class sliced through the quiet. The room filled with conversation as students gathered their books and put away their things. As they left the classroom, Yuuki fell into step beside Yori and opened her mouth to continue the conversation from earlier. Yori held up a finger.

“I get that you’re trying to help me, Yuuki, but the only way my father would stop trying to set me up with _that guy_ ,” just the way Yori said it told Yuuki everything she needed to know about him, “is if I chose someone more influential than him.” Yuuki frowned and bit into her tongue to keep from saying what was on her mind. _‘So, someone in the Night Class then?’_ Yuuki’s frown deepened. _‘If I tried to set Yori up with someone in the Night Class then I would be no better than her father…I would still be pushing her toward someone she probably wouldn’t like…’_

“I’m sorry, Yori…” Yuuki sighed. “Maybe he’ll come to his senses and stop…”

“Maybe,” Yori muttered. Both girls walked side by side with the deepest of frowns. Yuuki felt bad because she couldn’t help her friend; Yori felt down because the conversation only reminded her that, when it came to her father, her life was not her own.

“Yo,” they both heard a deep voice call from behind them. They looked over their shoulder to see Zero. Yuuki smiled at her friend, but the next words out of Zero’s mouth caused that smile to slip from her lips. “Did you cheat?” She glared heavily at him.

“No, I didn’t cheat!” Yuuki pouted as she stomped ahead of him. As she pushed ahead, Zero could hear her muttering: “Stupid Zero…I’m not that stupid, you know…Sure, I struggle in math from time to time, but that doesn’t mean I would ever resort to cheating!” Yori cast Zero an exasperated look and ran after her friend. Zero hung back and allowed himself a small smirk; his mission was accomplished. That thick, suffocating fog of melancholy that had enveloped the girls was gone. His small smirk vanished as he pushed his hands in his pockets.

 _'Yuuki really is changing,’_ he noted as he walked toward class. _‘Her perfect marks in math class only reinforce what she told me._ ’ He sighed. It wasn’t that Zero thought that Yuuki was stupid; he knew she wasn’t. Most of her hang-ups were over her lack of attention during classes. When it was just one on one—like when Zero tutored her—she was able to understand it after a few tries. She had to set her mind to doing well on the test and not let doubts creep in _. ‘It seems like the vampire part of her helps her find that confidence…’_ He didn’t know how to feel about that. Zero really didn’t know how to feel about anything right now. Yuuki was a Pureblood vampire trapped in a human cell. That should be driving his instincts crazy; he should be pulling away from her, alerting the Society; but he wasn’t. He was treating her like nothing had changed.

He waited with baited breathe for that other shoe to fall. How was he going to react when—and he knew it was a ‘when’, not an ‘if’—Kuran changed her back into her true form? Would he ally with his instincts then and treat her differently? He sighed. _‘Or is there something wrong with me?’_ He wondered. _‘Am I becoming more vampire than vampire hunter?’_

**X**

Aidou gave a long, joyful sigh as he looked out the window of his room in the Night Dorm. He could see the large mass of Day students gathered in front of the gate; and if he strained his ears he could hear them calling out the names of the ones they were there for. His good mood fell when he saw the familiar silver stock of hair. _‘Kiryuu,’_ he thought grumpily as he glared at the boy. It was more than just Zero’s blatant disrespect toward Kaname that pissed Aidou off; it was his cockiness. Yes, Zero Kiryuu was cocky. He believed himself elite, but Aidou had yet to see any of that elite-ness.

“Come on, Hanabusa,” Kain prompted as he passed. Aidou turned away from the window with a final glare and followed his cousin down the hallway. The blonde fixed his eyes ahead of him, but he was ever aware of everyone around him. He could feel the imposing presence of Kaname-sama just behind him; he could hear the crunch of pocky that said Rima and Shiki were close behind; and in front of him, he could see Ruka and Kain. He allowed himself a small amused grin.

Kain and Ruka. The only one who wasn’t aware of Kain’s intense feelings for the blonde was Ruka herself. Kaname-sama’s brilliance understandably blinded her from all else. The only reason Aidou wasn’t meddling in their relationship was out of respect for Kain; he knew his cousin wouldn’t want him butting in. He would just suffer in silence and hope for the day she would see him; until then, he was content to linger in her presence.

They could hear the screams of the Day Class girls more clearly as they stepped outside their Dorm. He preened as he caught shouts of his name; mixed in with those screams, he could hear the shrill sound of a whistle _. ‘Yuuki Cross,’_ he knew. There was another mystery to him. Kaname-sama’s attachment to that human girl was curious; but more curious still was the girl herself. Her past was a mystery; no record of her existed before Kaien Cross adopted her. He had asked around the Day Class, charmed multiple girls, but no one could tell him anything about her that he didn’t already know. His serious thoughts were banished to the back of his mind as the gates opened.

**X**

Yuuki set her stance as the gates opened. The girls Yuuki stood in front of chattered excitedly; some shouts of “Idol-sempai” and “Wild-sempai” erupted around her. Irrational jealousy filled her when she heard a few girls shout “Kaname-sempai!” The appearance of the Night Class seemed to send the girls into a frenzy; they started shoving against her back. Yuuki dug her heels in and grit her teeth. She glared enviously at Zero; the girls behind him didn’t dare to touch him or step past that imaginary line. He raised a single silver eyebrow at her eyes on him. She resisted the want to stick her tongue out at him.

“Good morning, ladies! I hope you all had a good holiday!” Aidou’s voice called above the screams. The shouts of names changed to the girls’ shouting a variation of “yes.” Yuuki rolled her eyes upward and prayed for patience. She could feel her control on her temper fraying as a girl shouted loudly in her ear, begging for Kaname’s attention. Her jaw jumped, but her heart skipped as Kaname reached her. He smiled softly at her and ran his hand along her cheek. Silence fell over the clearing. Yuuki flushed bright red as she felt the eyes of every girl and every Noble on them.

“Yuuki,” he said warmly. She gave him a small smile. “I trust the rest of your holidays went well.” Yuuki nodded.

“Yeah, it was really quiet.”

“I’m glad,” he smiled. “I must be getting to class now. Try not to get hurt, my dear girl,” Kaname traced her chin as he wished her goodbye; her eyes widened as his thumb moved across her bottom lip. She could see his true want in his eyes, but—to her intense relief—he refrained from kissing her. He moved his hand away from her face and continued on. The Nobles fell in step behind them; she didn’t miss the downright hostile expression on Ruka’s face and the curious look the rest of the Nobles gave her. She ignored them. The Nobles were always poised; she didn’t have to worry about them. No, the ones she worried about were the still shocked and silent girls surrounding Zero and herself.

She met Zero’s eyes from across the way. He looked both exasperated and annoyed, but he didn’t leave her to deal with the girls alone. One of them, a braver one certainly, stepped past the line Zero had established and put her hands on her hips.

“What was that, Yuuki Cross?”

“That’s simply unacceptable!” Another one chimed from behind her. Yuuki ignored them. The statements were nothing new; she heard them every time Kaname paid any special attention to her. She had learned early on that no matter what she said, they would still try to bully her. Yuuki’s patience with them was _gone_. _‘Who do they think they are?’_ The vampire inside of her demanded. _‘Ordering me around like I’m somehow lesser than them…’_ She clenched her jaw. Well, no more. She wasn’t going to let them push her around any longer.

“Everyone, go back to your dorms! It’s after hours for Day Class students!” Yuuki called out, trying to do her job despite her frustrations.

“Yumi asked you a question!” Another girl chimed in. Her jaw jumped in response to that statement. _‘Screw being nonconfrontational,’_ Yuuki growled mentally as looked over her shoulder at her.

“That I do not have to answer,” she pointed out. The girl stuttered in shock. “Now, if you please, **go back to your dorm**.” She refrained from controlling them with her abilities, but her tone was filled with enough authority that many had already slinked away. Only the troublemakers remained behind; these remaining girls were Yumi and Yuna. Girls that had tormented Yuuki for years; they always had a different reason: she was the Headmaster’s daughter; she was favored by Kaname; she always knocked down their grade point average. Yuuki stared them down and raised a thin eyebrow at them. Yuna shifted behind Yumi; something about Yuuki Cross’ expression screamed that the scatterbrained girl had reached her limit. Yumi crossed her arms over her chest, trying to put up a brave front. “Are you hard of hearing, perhaps?” Yuuki asked them. “Or do you not know the rules?”     

Yumi stepped back at the look in Yuuki Cross’s eyes. She wasn’t backing down or laughing in that stupid way she usually did. Her eyes were cold and frightening. Her voice was mocking and threaded with cold annoyance. That light, happy aura that usually made her a target was gone; the girl that stood in Yuuki’s place felt untouchable. She swallowed and took another step back. She threw her hair over her shoulder and yelled over her shoulder as she walked—Yumi would never admit to running—away, “this isn’t over, Cross!” A chill stole down her spine as she heard the mocking response:

“I’ll look forward to the conversation, Yumi.” It would have been less frightening if she had cursed or had any heat to her voice; instead, her tone was cold but polite. Yumi shivered and picked up her pace. Yuna struggled to keep up with her friend.

Yuuki watched them run away and turned back toward Zero. She blinked when she found Zero’s lavender eyes on her; his expression was unreadable. “What?” Zero didn’t answer. He was too surprised by Yuuki. He was surprised by her stand, by her vocabulary and the way she was speaking: mocking but with false gentleness. She sounded exactly like Kaname and it sent chills down his back. For once, looking at her unforgiving eyes and her arched brow, he saw the Pureblood she claimed to be.

“Nothing,” he forced himself to look away as he gave the answer. “I’ll take the outside of the building this time. You take the inside.”

“Okay,” Yuuki agreed, relieved that she wouldn’t have to interact with the Day Class girls for the rest of the night. They never made it so far into the school; they always lingered outside the building, trying to snap pictures through windows. Zero would be able to run them off easier than she would; and to be honest, Yuuki didn’t trust herself not to hurt them right now. Her emotions were too violate; her patience too thin. She smiled at Zero in relief and hook her arm through his; together, they walked toward the building the Night Class was taking lessons in.

Every now and then, Zero would cast glances down at her. He was unconsciously searching for signs of that Pureblood he had seen when she spoke to Yumi and Yuna, but he couldn’t find her. All he saw now was the smiling, kind girl that he knew. All he saw was Yuuki. Still, he couldn’t forget that cold yet polite Pureblood. Zero simply couldn’t match the images in his mind; he knew what he had seen. He knew both versions of her were true. He looked away from her toward the building.

The little interaction had thrown his mind into turmoil. Like Yuuki, two sides of him were arguing. The part of him who had grown up with Yuuki and loved her and the part of him that was a vampire hunter bickered harshly within him. The vampire hunter shouted that the Pureblood inside of her was the true her, that he should cut ties with her now, and bide his time. He said that she would become that cold woman he saw when Kaname turned her back. He demanded that the Pureblood part of her would devour the Yuuki he knew. But the part of him that loved Yuuki shook his head in denial. He refused to believe that he would lose her so easily. Yuuki was Yuuki, he reasoned, no matter the form she took.

**X**

Yuuki stopped on the second floor; from her position at the end of the hall, she could hear the lecture the professor was giving the Night Class. She blinked. _‘Yori is right,’_ she thought depressively, _‘I don’t even understand what I don’t understand…’_ Some of the lecture was familiar; she recognized terms and understood some of what the professor was saying; but the rest of it only confused her. She looked out the window and promptly laughed.

Zero stood there, surrounded by two girls. Both were pressing in close to him, their hands were clasped in front of them. They appeared to be begging him. It wasn’t just the girls that amused Yuuki, but it was also Zero’s expression. He was so uncomfortable that he appeared to be blushing. She reigned her laughter into giggles and pushed away from the window.

“Poor Zero,” she giggled as she walked down the hallway. “I see why he chooses to patrol inside; he’s really just a big softie at heart.”

“I think you are the only one that sees him that way, Yuuki,” she heard a warm voice from behind her. She turned to see the Night Class pouring out of the classroom. “Have you come to monitor us?”

“Oh, no!” Yuuki dismissed politely. “After what happened after the changeover, Zero decided it would be best for me to patrol inside.” Kaname’s eyes narrowed slightly; he tilted his head to the side.

“What happened?” He asked. Yuuki pursed her lips and glared at her brother.

“You had to have known I would be bullied after your tender display, Kaname,” she dropped the honorific.

“Oh?” Yuuki’s heartbeat skipped as Kaname stepped closer. Her back pressed against the cold window. Kaname grasped her chin gently and tipped her head up. “I thought I behaved myself well, Yuuki. Even when you tempted me so…”

“Tempt…how did I-”

“Do you think I did not notice the way your lips trembled?” He asked; his voice was low and deep as he dipped his head down. His nose brushed hers softly. Her heart gave a small stutter as he leaned closer. It didn’t matter that they had kissed before, kissed a lot in fact, her heart still reacted the same way. He smiled. “They’re doing it again,” he whispered; Yuuki could feel it now that he pointed it out. Her heart leapt as he leaned down and slanted his lips over hers. She shivered and reached for him, wanting more than the gentle brush of his lips. He pulled away before she could touch him and smirked. “I need to go now, Yuuki.” Her eyes narrowed. “Before I misbehave,” he threw over his shoulder tauntingly as he walked away from her. Her eyes narrowed on his back.

Kaname could feel her glaring at him; he could feel the heat of it moving up his spine, but it only made him smile. Ichijou giggled behind his hand as he turned the corner; the Nobles, he knew, had overheard everything. He could feel the curious looks on him, but no one dared to question. As they walked the narrow hallways toward their next class, Kaname indulged their curiosity.

“I have asked Yuuki to be my lover,” he informed them as if commenting on the weather. He smothered his amusement as Aidou ran into the wall by the door. “She has said yes.” His amusement at Aidou’s mishap was dampened by the quiet, hurt gasp he heard from behind him. _‘I’m sorry, Ruka,’_ he apologized mentally. Kaname didn’t elaborate on it at the moment, but he would be certain to before they retired for the morning. He had promised to be mindful of Yuuki’s few restrictions. She only asked that the Nobles not follow her around at school or call her “sama” in front of the other students. They were fairly easy rules to abide by.

It almost made him feel guilty for imposing so many restrictions on her, almost. The first one, he thought, was the easiest: don’t use honorifics when addressing him. It had been a task getting her to accept that the Nobles would call her “sama”; it had been even harder to get her to accept that they would show her the same respect they showed him. He had convinced her by informing her that they would treat her the same way when she was turned back; she needed to get used to it now. He had told her that they would do “study” sessions every Saturday at noon where he would teach her the mannerisms and information that she needed to know before she was changed back into a vampire. She had been so distressed when he told her that, but he believed in her. She could learn it all.

His thoughts quietened down as he stepped into the classroom. Immediately, he moved to the back of the room and took his seat. He sat, by habit, in front of the window and opened his textbook and flipped his notebook open. He had found out early that if he looked busy the Nobles would not bother him. Kaname could sense that there were a thousand things the Nobles wanted to say; despite the effort it took for them to turn and look at him, they did so anyway. Each time, he ignored them.

He would not explain to them why he had chosen Yuuki. He smiled slightly. He would not explain because for him it had never been a matter of choice. When he saw her eyes peering up at him so warmly, he knew he would love her. From the moment he had reawaken from his coffin, there had been no other.


	14. The Danger Around the Corner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Academy gets a couple of unauthorized visitors; the news they bring with them, however, is more threatening to Yuuki’s peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

The vampire half of Yuuki reclined on the bed, chewing her bottom lip in nervousness. She didn’t enjoy telling her human half that things were moving faster than she had anticipated. She looked back down at her body; she had aged drastically overnight. She was now fourteen; her human self was only sixteen. Yuuki would have to take it slow and remain in control from now on. If she used even a silver of their pureblood powers, the vampire feared it would push them further along.

There was so much she needed to do, so many things she needed to square away before she went through the transformation. Yuuki wanted to know everything about her lineage; she wanted to be able to keep up with the Night Class’s courses; but most of all, she wanted to not embarrass Kaname. No matter what he said, Yuuki couldn’t shake the thought that, if they merged as they were now, she would be an embarrassment to their name. A Pureblood Princess who was practically a baby? Neither sides of Yuuki wanted to be known as that.

She sighed and laid down on the bed. She would tell her human half after patrols were finished.

X

Yuuki walked the halls and checked empty classrooms. While she was certain that none of the Night Class would actually roam the halls, she still went through the motions. She was also sort of avoiding Kaname and the Nobles. She had no way of knowing when Kaname was planning to tell them that she was his lover, but she didn’t want to face their looks tonight. She wanted one more night of normalcy. She walked up the final fleet of stairs that lead toward the roof. _‘Zero is patrolling the grounds, but…I feel complied to look as well.’_ Some instinct demanded that she at least take a look. She walked to the very edge of the building and peered over the edge. Her eyes swept over the darkened grounds; it would have been impossible to see before, but her newly enhanced eyesight missed nothing. She didn’t need lights anymore. On her second sweep of the grounds, she saw it. There was a slight shift in the air, a discoloration, and then there were men. Her heart skipped. She recognized their suits and unnecessary shades. She narrowed her eyes. _‘The Senate watchdogs,’_ she thought scathingly. _‘And they are walking toward the building._ ’ She couldn’t let them enter not just because of the school guidelines prohibited non-students from roaming the buildings, but also because she knew they were there for Kaname. She stepped up onto the concrete blocking and dropped from the roof. She caught one of the concrete window seals to slow her fall, and dropped one seal at a time until it was safe for her to let go completely.   

“What are you doing here?” she demanded of them. It probably wasn’t the best way to address the arrogant vampires, but she couldn’t forget that just a few weeks ago members of this same Senate had attempted to kill her. Nor could she forget that a little under a month ago, the very same Senate members had tried to kill her best friend. They looked immediately offended, but Yuuki couldn’t find it in herself to completely care. Still when she opened her mouth next, she tried for diplomacy. “Forgive my tone but never has there been a time that the Senate has come bearing good tidings. So, understandably, I’m wary of your intentions at this Academy.”

“We have come to speak to Kaname Kuran.” One of the henchman tried to be polite, but his face completely ruined the effect. He looked as if he would rather be eating animal blood than taking to her. She narrowed her eyes and set her jaw.  

“He’s in class right now. This is an institute of learning after all.” She reminded them; the sarcasm in her tone was carefully hidden. “I’m sure whatever you have to say to him can wait until his class is over.”

“It is a matter of importance,” he said through gritted teeth. She could see his patience was thinning. Yuuki smiled with false sympathy.

“Your impatience does not change my mind. If it’s so important, you can wait,” she could see how much her words infuriated them, but again she did not care. She kept her face void of expression as she teased, “After all, how would Kaname-sama feel if you just burst into the classroom, interrupting his studies? I don’t imagine he would be happy…” The henchmen balked at that, but one brave henchman stepped forward and argued:

“Kaname Kuran-sama is a pureblood! He has no need for this silly institution!”

“He may have no need for it, but he _wants_ to be here,” she argued, “and I’m certain he would not be pleased to hear that you find an Academy he helped build to be _silly_.” The vampire inside of her screamed for diplomacy and begged her not to use their powers; Yuuki was trying to listen, but they were quite persistent underneath her skin. Her irritation with these men only excited her powers more. “Now stop your ridiculous posturing and _wait_.” _‘For your master like good dogs should,’_ she added in her mind; it was an effort to keep those words from passing her lips.

X

Kaname pretended to pay attention to the lecture on the history of the vampire race; he made a good show of it. None of the Nobles nor the teacher could tell that his mind was really elsewhere. As was most days, his mind was on Yuuki. He hid his worries from her well. There had never been a case like her before; he had no way of knowing if her wish from two months would be prudent. Yes, he had asked to be kept informed, but he knew there was a chance she would not tell him how far along she was. _‘Especially if she is farther along than she would like to be…’_

It was Juri’s design that the seal never break, never weaken. She had wanted for Yuuki to live a normal, human life; a life devoid of constant acting and blood. Kaname had wanted that for Yuuki too; in a way he still did, but he was selfish. He knew now that she was remembering him; and while a part of him wanted to reestablish the seal, a larger part of him knew he wouldn’t survive her forgetting him again. He had told Kaien years ago that he had planned to turn Yuuki human, but this…what was happening to her now, convinced him that it would only be undone. The vampire inside of Yuuki refused to be suppressed. Without him around to turn her back, she would only go insane. So, if he couldn’t give her the happiness she deserved as a human, then he would try to give her happiness as a vampire. He would happily live the rest of his days serving her needs. It was, after all, his heart’s true wish.  

“Kaname-sama,” Seiren’s call broke through his thoughts and the seemingly never-ending lecture, “something appears to be going on down there.” She pointed toward the window. Her statement made the class pause. Everyone, including the teacher, looked in the direction her finger was pointing. There on the concrete path below stood Yuuki Cross and…at least six men.  

“Are those…senate henchmen?” Aidou asked.

“And why are they talking to Yuuki-chan?” Ichijou chimed. Kaname narrowed his eyes and stood from the chair.

“Please excuse me,” he asked of the teacher. Before the elderly vampire could say yes, Kaname was gone from the room.  

X

“Why are we listening to this human?” The one henchman asked his comrades. Yuuki looked at him more closely. She realized with a jolt that she recognized him. He had been with the execution squad that came from Zero; he was the one who Kaname had injured. Her lips twitched. She was tempted to ask him how his shoulder was, but she suppressed the urge. ‘I’m feeling very antagonist today…’ She thought with slight surprise. Whatever response her vampire side had ready, the henchman interrupted: “It would be a simple thing to push past her and go in anyway.” Yuuki’s eyes narrowed. Her hand closed around Artemis. With a simple flick of her wrist, it was out of its holster and expanded in front of her. Her eyes were hard and cold on them; her expression very clearly said ‘try it’.

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.” Yuuki’s heart skipped a beat when she heard her lover’s voice behind her, but she didn’t look over her shoulder. Her eyes stayed locked on the henchmen. Despite this, she was aware of him. Her senses sang that he was behind her. She collapsed Artemis and tucked it back into its holster. “Now, what do you find so important that you would interrupt my studies?” The henchmen balked as the human girl’s words were repeated to them by the Pureblood.

“Ichio-sama asked us to come speak to you about the intruder at your house.” Yuuki bit into her cheek and calmed her heartbeat. Her heart still skipped when Kaname’s hand brushed the small of her back lightly before it rested there. She suppressed the urge to lean back into it, to let him support her. Luckily, the henchmen were paying no attention to her aside from a few annoyed glances. “Some of our members reported that she was a Pureblood…and that they saw you retrieving her.”

“And?” Kaname prompted politely, but Yuuki could hear the deadly undertone. Despite that, she wasn’t afraid or even nervous. Her entire being screamed that this was Kaname; she had nothing to fear.    

“Well,” one of the henchmen stuttered, “Ichio-sama was wanting to know what you did with her.” Kaname gave a darkly amused smile. Yuuki couldn’t help but admire the effect it had on the henchmen. A collective shiver ran down their spines.

“You mean Ichio is curious if I killed her?” His amusement over their assumption was a little scary, but Yuuki had to admit she could find the humor in it too. They were, after all, asking about _her_. The henchmen opened their mouth, prepared to grovel, but Kaname continued, “No. She is still very much alive and around.” Yuuki bit her tongue to keep from smiling. “Was that all, gentlemen?”

“No, Kuran-sama,” one of the henchmen negated weakly, “Ichio-sama was wanting to know if he could meet her.” Her heartbeat skipped out of surprise and slight fear. Suddenly Yuuki could find nothing amusing about the situation. Kaname’s eyes narrowed both in response to his words and the way his dear girl reacted to them. He moved his thumb back and forth on the small of her back, hoping to reassure her without words. 

“And he assumes I know of her whereabouts?” Kaname asked with a slight tilt of his head.

“W-Well,” the same timid henchman stuttered, “you did come to her rescue, Kuran-sama. You went through so much trouble to come to her aide…it was only fair to…to assume that she means something…to you…” The henchman had started talking slower because of the look in Kaname’s eyes. His patience with the Senate was running low. Yuuki felt a shiver run down her spine, but she couldn’t find it in herself to be afraid. She could feel it in the way his hand kept a steady pressure on the small of her back, everything he did or was going to do was to protect her. Even now, he was ready to whisk her away at the first sign of violence.

“Ichio will have to forgive me, but—even if I knew of her whereabouts—I would not tell you,” Kaname asked for forgiveness, but in no way did his tone sound apologetic.

“Yes, Kuran-sama,” the henchmen muttered. “We will leave you to your studies now…Forgive us for the intrusion.” They apologized as they knelt down onto one knee and touched their fists to their chests. Yuuki blinked as they vanished from view. She looked over at Kaname to find him looking at her. She felt his hand slip up from her back to her shoulder, all the while he kept contact with her shirt.  

“Are you alright?” He asked softly when their eyes met. She nodded.  

“I’m fine, Kaname,” Yuuki reassured him. “But…” She looked toward the spot those men had been, “Ichio won’t give up, will he?”

“He is a stubborn old man…” Kaname grumbled in response to her question. He gently toward her face toward him again and asked, “Are you afraid of him?”

“As I am now, yes.” Yuuki admitted, “But,” she added before he could reassure her, “I know that as long as you are around, I will be safe.” Kaname smiled softly. His thumb swept across her cheek gently; her heart fluttered as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. As he pulled away and she opened her eyes, she caught sight of the Nobles in the window. She rolled her lips together and smothered a giggle. “While I enjoy your kisses, Kaname, you might consider to getting back to class…before Aidou falls out the window…” He looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes at them.

“I suppose you are right…” He sighed. He turned back to her as he teased, “But I am disappointed that you want to get rid of me so soon. It does not bode well for the rest of our lives.” Yuuki’s mouth fell open. He smothered a grin at her cutely affronted look.

“I am not trying to get rid of you! If it were up to me, you would never leave my-” She trailed off when she saw his mouth twitching.

“I would never leave what, Yuuki?” He pressed with a quirk of his eyebrow. When she narrowed her eyes at him, he leaned closer and teased, “has your mind ran in a naughty direction, perhaps?” He couldn’t smother his laughter as she spluttered out his name. When words failed her, she used her hands. She swatted his chest.

“Such a mean lover,” she hissed to him, “teasing me so much.”

“Forgive me, my dear,” he chuckled as he touched her cheek, “I simply couldn’t resist myself.” Yuuki’s bottom lip protruded slightly. He smiled and ran his thumb over her bottom lip. Her eyes widened; he heard her heart skip lightly at the light brush. He restrained himself from capturing her lips again and forced himself to lower his hand. His eyes wandered back up to the classroom. Yuuki had not been kidding when she told him that Aidou was about to fall through the window. The blonde idiot was pressed up so closely to the window that it looked as if he were trying to meld with it. He looked back toward his love and sighed. He caressed her cheek one more time before dropping his hand from her face. “I will see you when all classes are over.” He bide her goodbye before he walked back toward the building. 

“Yes,” she agreed with him as she turned and watched him walk away. Her heart ached as it always had to watch him walk away from her, but she knew that he would always come back. Once the door to the building closed, Yuuki let out a deep sigh and turned back around. In the silence of the night, another worry hit her. ‘Where is Zero?’ She wondered. She knew that he would have intercepted the Senate if he had seen them; she chewed her bottom lip. ‘Even if he wasn’t in the area, he would have sensed them…unless…’ The small worry now churned into a larger mass in her stomach. Yuuki couldn’t finish the thought. She simply bolted.  

She searched the stables for him, but he wasn’t there sleeping in his usual spot. She snuck into the boy’s dormitory, but he wasn’t in his room either. She slipped out through the window and ran toward the last place she could think of him being: the Headmaster’s. She checked his room and groaned when she found it empty. She closed the door and turned to search the rest of the house; as she walked down the hall toward the Headmaster’s office, she found herself face to chest with the person she had been searching for. She stepped back as she exclaimed: “Zero!”

“Yuuki…” He drawled, quirking an eyebrow. She didn’t give him a chance to ask her what was wrong.

“Where were you?!” She demanded as she set her hips to the side and set her hands on them. Zero raised both brows.

“I…” It was as he opened his mouth to deliver a sarcastic comment but she didn’t let him. She held up her hand.

“Before you deliver what I’m certain will be a sarcastic comment, I want to explain to you why I asked. Tonight, six Senate henchmen showed up on the grounds.” His eyes widened in horror. Immediately, he began searching her for injuries. Yuuki continued speaking as if she couldn’t feel his eyes scanning her entire body, “As you know the rule book states that only students, teachers, or teacher’s aides are allowed on the school premises. People that fall into none of those categories aren’t allowed to enter the school building.”

“So, you intercepted them at the door…” He finished for her.

“I was worried that they had found you first when you never showed up…” She admitted, looking down at the floor. Zero gave a quiet, amused sigh.

“Do you really think me so weak?” He asked. Once more he wondered just what he was to Yuuki. At the question, her expressive eyes bounced back up to him. They burned him with their intensity. He didn’t let himself fall into them.  

“Well, what was I supposed to think, Zero?!” She demanded, suppressing the urge to stomp her foot out of frustration. “Usually, you’d be there, just itching to pull the trigger!” Zero couldn’t really argue with that assessment. He knew it was true. When he thought of the reason he hadn’t been there, shame threatened to overcome him. He looked down at her feet.

“I got thirsty, okay?” Zero returned without pride or anger. “One of the girls I was persuading to leave had scrapped her knee on the cobblestone…I didn’t want to risk it…”

“Oh…” Yuuki muttered. _‘Such a small thing…’_ she thought, _‘I wonder how I would have handled such a thing…’_ So far the only thing that really triggered her thirst was Kaname’s blood. She couldn’t imagine what would happen if she encountered an injured student _. ‘Would I be just as hungry?’_ She abhorred the thought.

“Kuran’s blood,” Zero’s voice pulled her back; she looked back up at him, “may still be churning inside of me, slowing the fall…but it doesn’t stop the thirst or my descent…” His fist clenched. What Yuuki wanted to say and what Zero knew hung in the air between them like an ominous cloud: the only thing that would save him would be Shizuka Hio’s blood. Only that unique blood had stopped flowing. There would be no saving him unless someone knew how to rewind the clock. Yuuki rolled her lips together.

“Well, let’s get back out there, Zero,” Yuuki broke the silence with false cheer. Before Zero could see the worry and fear in her eyes, she turned and walked down the hallway. Zero stood there where she had left him and watched her walk away from him. That fatalistic voice whispered that he should get used to the sight. He rolled his jaw.

“Yeah,” he said quietly both in agreement to her statement and the quiet whisper. He followed her down the stairs. Yuuki went back inside of the school building to patrol while Zero resumed his patrol outside.

X

Yuuki leaned back against the wall, inches from the room the Night Class was taking lessons in. Her mind was racing. The Senate head wanted to meet her. That thought in itself shouldn’t be scary since she had already met Ichio, but it was. Yes, she had already met Ichio, but that meeting had been brief. She knew that if she had to meet him now, it would be longer and more unpleasant than that first meeting. She chewed her bottom lip. _‘I would be a science experiment to him right now. A Pureblood encased in the body of a human...’_ Another thing bothered her too. When she had met him, there had been such a cold aura around him. Ichio was dangerous, not in the way most vampires were dangers, but in his own unique way. The chill that had moved down her spine had told her that he was twisted and dark. _‘What would he do to me,’_ she wondered nervously, _‘if he were to find out?’_

The blood of a Pureblood vampire was coveted, but very rarely taken because Purebloods were much more powerful than the average noble. Yuuki’s mouth ran dry; she forced herself to swallow. _‘As a human, I would have no real defense against him…’_ She shivered. _‘Here’s to hoping that the human cells delude the vampire cells, eh?’_

 _‘We need to talk,’_ the voice came into her mind weakly. Yuuki startled, nervousness filled her at the statement. Nothing good ever came from that.

 _‘Um…about what?’_ She questioned nervously.

 _‘Body wise I’m fourteen. You need to ease up on using our powers. If you don’t…’_ She didn’t need to finish. Yuuki understood what she was saying.

 _‘The process will speed up even more and I won’t have those two months…’_ The vampire side of her fell silent after hearing Yuuki’s statement. Yuuki’s brows pinched together. The younger side of her came and went; her voice was weaker when she spoke as if she were summoning up a lot of strength to speak _. ‘As we merge,’_ she realized, _‘she gets weaker…because she’s becoming me…or I’m becoming her…’_ The lines between them were blurring now. Yuuki didn’t know where the human her ended and the vampire side of her began. Like many things happening to her, she felt it should frighten her, but it didn’t. She accepted it as a part of becoming who she needed to be.

Idly, as she waited for the final bell, she wondered how she would have turned out had she not had this chance. How would she have been if the vampire inside of her hadn’t broken the seal; when Kaname turned her back, would she had still of have this confidence or would she have been swamped with debilitating doubts?


	15. Yori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yori confronts Yuuki on the changes she has noticed; in doing so, she steps on the path that will lead her crashing headlong into the secret the Headmaster and Disciplinary Committee fought to keep.

Yori gave a quiet huff. She couldn't understand why her best friend was so much harder to wake up. Yori had tried poking her like she had yesterday morning; she had tried flicking cold water onto her face; nothing was working. Yori straightened up and set her jaw. _'She did so good on that test yesterday. She is not missing class today!'_ She stomped to the end of Yuuki's bed and grabbed her feet. With a sharp, surprisingly difficult tug, Yori jerked her best friend out of bed. Yuuki yelped at the sudden change in position and at the cold air sneaking into her nightgown; she grabbed for the nightstand, pulled her feet out of the hands that held them, and landed in a crouch. She blinked for a few minutes up at her surprised best friend. Yori was frozen. She had never seen her best friend move that quickly before, much less that quietly. Yuuki straightened and covered her mouth to hide the yawn. Yori's eyebrow twitched as her friend's eyes darted down to the bed.

"Don't you dare lie back down!" Yori demanded as she stomped her foot. "After how well you did yesterday, I'm not letting you miss another day of school!" Yuuki simply stared at her blankly. Yori groaned when she realized even the jerk from bed had fully woken her friend up. Yuuki was still half asleep! She reached out and grabbed her friend's wrist. She started pulling her toward the dorm bathrooms. It was a testament to the girl's tiredness that she only stumbled along behind Yori, not saying a word. She opened the door to the bathroom and pulled Yuuki along behind her until they were in front of a stall. Yuuki didn't even blink; she didn't fight back. Her mind didn't even register what Yori was about to do. Yori sighed. _'It almost,_ _ **almost**_ _makes me feel bad for what I'm about to do…'_ She thought sadly as she reached for the cold knob and turned it on with her free hand, she shoved Yuuki underneath the artic spray. _That_ woke her up. Yuuki let out an ungodly screech and grabbed for the hot. "I'll go get you a new change of clothes and your book bag. You had better be ready in thirty minutes," Yori's voice was finally registering. She turned on her heel, oblivious to the glare that was fixed on her back.

Yuuki grumbled and cursed as she stripped out of her now soaked nightgown and threw it over the edge of the showers. She shed her bra and panties—equally soaked thanks to Yuuki's treatment of her—and tossed them over too. She closed the stall door violently. A few seconds later, Yori threw her toiletry bag over the stall door. Yuuki caught it surprisingly easy. She didn't speak a word to Yori even as she shouted over the pouring water, "I put your clothes on the sink!"

During her shower, some of Yuuki's anger melted into understanding. She knew that she was becoming exceptionally hard to wake up; it was an effort to simply climb out of bed in the mornings. She knew Yori wouldn't have done this unless she had no other option; Yori, despite Yuuki's previous mutterings, wasn't cruel. She toweled off and dried her hair to the best of her ability before stepping out of the shower stall and getting dressed. She brushed her teeth quickly and then moved to clean up the bathroom as the rules stated: no water was left on the floor; no personal items could remain in the bathroom. She wrapped her old, soaked clothes into a different towel and put all of the things back into her toiletry bag. She dropped her soaked clothes and her toiletry bag into her bedroom. Once she walked back out, Yori extended her bag to her. Yuuki took it from her and swung it over her shoulder.

As they walked down the stairs of the dormitory—Yuuki and Yori's room was on the very top floor—, Yuuki lost herself in her thoughts. Her sleep had not been dreamless; as soon as her head had touched the pillow, nightmares seemed to follow her. Her unconscious mind had latched onto her worries. All night, she ran from Ichio in her dreams. He would capture her; she would get away; and the process would start all over again. He would strap her down to an operating table and beginning trying to drain her. Sometimes, he would use needles to get her blood; other times, he would simply cut her. A shiver rolled down her spine.

Yori stared at her best friend out of the corner of her eye. Her face was strangely void of expression. Her usually expressive eyes were guarded. It sent a shiver down Yori's spine. Whatever going through her friend's mind was not good at all. Yori chewed her bottom lip as she walked alongside her friend. The things she had been pushing to the back of her mind raced to the forefront now. _'Something happened over winter break that she isn't telling me about…Something in her changed…'_ She looked toward Yuuki again. _'She's…more subdued. More…ladylike? No. She's still the same tomboy from before…but there's something in the way she carries herself now that wasn't there before…almost like she's gained both a new confidence in herself and a new burden.'_ Yori looked at the ground. _'A burden…that she refuses to share…'_

As they climbed to the floor their class was on, Yori decided. She wasn't going to let her friend shoulder her burden alone anymore. She squared her shoulders. _'I'll confront her before she goes with Zero to block the fangirls from the Night Class.'_

**X**

Yori attempted to plot how the conversation would go between classes; she made a list of questions in her head that she was going to ask. The most obvious being: is there something wrong? She knew Yuuki would brush that off, so she had to find a few to follow it up with. _'You've been more subdued lately and I'm worried. No, no.'_ Yori dismissed that one with a shake of her head. _'It sounds too much the beginning of an intervention. I'm pretty sure she's not on any type of drug. Yuuki wouldn't do that to her body…right?'_ Yori snuck a glance over at Yuuki and found her eyes on her. Yuuki smiled slightly and looked away first. _'Right. Yuuki wouldn't do that. So…is Kaname pressuring you? Is Zero pressuring you?_ ' Those were good questions. Both the boys had the tendency to be a little pushy, but Yori couldn't really see Kaname or Zero pushing Yuuki into something she truly didn't want to do. Both boys loved her too much to do something like that. She frowned. Still, she was going to ask; maybe she had misjudged them.

Yori?" Yuuki called. Yori blinked and looked up. She flushed. In her preoccupation, she had walked straight past their class. She turned and jogged back toward Yuuki. As she walked into the classroom, she tried to avoid her worried gaze. She hurried up to their seat and sank down. She ignored Yuuki as she dug her notebook and her book out of her bag. "Yori?" Yuuki called again; the pure worry and sadness in Yuuki's voice was impossible to ignore. She looked up. The tone of her voice was reflected in the pools of her eyes. She frowned. "Are you alright?"

"I'll talk to you about it after class," Yori warned. Yuuki blinked. She opened her mouth to say something—possibly to protest—but the teacher's sharp command of "Quiet!" interrupted whatever she was going to say. Surprisingly enough, Yuuki didn't try to talk to her again. She simply focused on her notes. Yori looked toward the board again; her eyes slid out of focus as she became lost in her thoughts again. _'While I'm insanely proud of her sudden academic interest…I'm worried about what brought it on...'_ She looked back toward her friend out of the corner of her _. 'She is working so hard…'_ Yori thought fondly. _'I know she's exhausted, but she's forcing herself to stay awake…'_ Her brows dipped another thought occurred to her, _'has the Class President threatened her?'_ Yori looked toward the front of the room where Kasumi Kageyama sat, studiously taking notes and pushing up his glasses. Yori wouldn't put it past him to try and intimidate Yuuki; he was still sore from having to work the ball instead of dancing. He blamed his failed chances at wooing Ruka's hand on Yuuki. Yori sniffed in annoyance. _'As if it's her fault,'_ she thought grumbly.

"Sayori Wakaba," her heart skipped at the teacher's shrill call of her name. She blinked and looked down at her teacher. "Can you work this sentence?" She pointed behind her. Yori fought off a grimace. She hadn't been paying attention. The sentence on the board was in Japanese but Yori would have to translate it perfectly into English. Yori stood from her seat slowly, nervously, and moved down the stairs. She stood in front of the board and picked up the marker. _'Can…you…'_ The marker squeaked against the board as she wrote her answer out slowly. _'Give…me….directions…to…the…capital?'_ Yori lowered the marker down to the bracing on the board. She looked over at the teacher. She pursed her lips and nodded. "Correct. You may return to your seat." Yori walked briskly back to her seat and sat down. She fought off a giggle as Yuuki held her hand out, palm up, underneath the table. Yori high-fived her quietly. Despite her getting the answer right, Yori fought to pay attention to the rest of the lesson. She forced her worries to the back of her mind and focused only on taking notes.

The final bell could not have come soon enough for Yori. She was normally a very patient girl, but when it came to matters regarding Yuuki her patience was limited. Yuuki was her best friend; she was the one person in all the world Yori could talk to about everything. So, it bothered her deeply when Yuuki shut her out.

"So, what's up?" Yuuki asked as the rest of the class cleared out. Zero, Yori noticed, hovered by the door for a few seconds before he moved on. Yori turned to her with a quiet sigh.

"I'm worried about you, Yuuki," she started. Yuuki's eyes widened; a fond smile stretched across her lips.

"Worried about me?" She repeated, still smiling, "Why?"

"Why?" Yori snorted. "Why? You haven't been acting like yourself, Yuuki! The days before winter break you always act so withdrawn, but never like you did this break. And then, when I come back, you're even more withdrawn!" Yuuki's usually expressive eyes became guarded. She sighed.

"Yori…" Her eyes narrowed. She knew that tone. Yuuki wasn't going to come up with some creative lie that, a few weeks ago, Yori would have believed; but now, she wasn't budging. This was too important. She felt like Yuuki was slipping away from her.

"Don't you dare tell me that it's nothing," Yori cut her off angrily. Yuuki blinked. "What is going on?!" Yori's patience was gone; Yuuki's lips parted and closed multiple times. Suddenly, her friend looked trapped and…oddly afraid. Yori's anger thawed. She frowned; her eyebrows pinched downward. "Has Kaname done something? Is Kasumi-san threatening you again?" Yori waited; her worry grew the longer Yuuki stayed silent. She watched as her friend shifted her legs and crossed them at the ankles. She folded her hands into her lap and clenched her hands tightly together. What Yuuki had to say, however, was the last thing Yori ever expected:

"Tell me what you've noticed about the Night Class. Everything, no matter how strange it sounds." Her first emotion was shock.

"Wha…Why?" She asked. The second was annoyance. She narrowed her eyes and frowned. "If this is some-"

"Just humor me, Yori," Yuuki sighed. "I promise I'll answer all your questions at the end." Yori rolled her jaw and conceded to Yuuki's wish. She sat back on her chair as she tried to gather her thoughts on the Night Class.

"Oh…Okay. Um…All of them are unnaturally beautiful and extremely smart." As she fished for more observations she had made over the years, she thought of Hanabusa Aido or as most girls seemed to call him 'Idol.' "Despite the adoration they seem to get from all of the girls and some guys, they never seem to venture out and pursue one seriously. It's like…they're afraid to get too close to one of them." Yuuki blinked, but Yori missed the surprised expression on her friend's face. "And besides that, they carry an aura that feels…" She trailed off; her eyes shot up to her friend as she found what she had been trying to find earlier. Earlier that morning, she had fished for a word to describe the way Yuuki carried herself. Talking about the Night Class now, really thinking on them, Yori found that word. "Unnatural…" Yuuki gave her a soft, rueful smile. "But…how?"

"It's kind of hard to explain, Yori," Yuuki sighed.

"Can't you just try?" Yori pushed.

"Okay…" Yuuki licked her lips. "You know that my past was a blank slate, right?" Yori nodded, catching the use of was. "Well, over the holidays, my memories came back. Apparently, a block had been placed over my memories to shelter me. The block came down…and all of my memories came rushing back…"

"That's great, isn't it?" Yori hedged, uncertain. Something in Yuuki's expression and her careful phrases told Yori that there was more to it than what she was telling her, but Yori was just relieved that she was talking to her about it.

"Yeah, it would be…but I learned something about myself. I have that same unnaturalness that the Night Class members do…because, if I had stayed with my parents, I would have been a part of them." Yuuki suddenly blew out a rough sigh and asked desperately, "is this making any sense to you?" Yori dipped her eyebrows down and shook her head.

"All I've gathered from what you just said is that your memories are back and that you would have been in the Night Class had your parents never died," Yori deadpanned.

"Can you accept that for now, Yori?" She begged in response. Yori blinked.

"So…this sudden academic dedication is because of that…unnaturalness that you share with the Night Class?" She ventured, not answering Yuuki's plea. She wasn't ready to accept Yuuki's explanation just yet. She needed more than that.

"Basically," Yuuki agreed sheepishly. Her answer didn't help Yori's confusion. She sighed and propped her elbows up on the desk.

"I'm never going to get the full truth from you, am I?" She asked, leaning forward. She braced her chin with her hands as she looked over at her best friend. Yuuki's eyes became impossibly sad and lonely. Yori felt her heart catch in her chest at the sight. Suddenly, she wanted to pull her question back.

"Eventually, I'll tell you," she smiled ruefully. Immediately, Yori understood that Yuuki wouldn't give her any more information. She didn't like it, but she could accept it.

"I suppose I can accept that…" She acknowledged out loud. _'I have no choice…'_ She added mentally, _'but I'm not giving up.'_

"Thank you," Yuuki breathed as she covered Yori's hands with hers. Yori forced a smile onto her lips and nodded. She gently pulled her hands out from underneath Yuuki's.

"Now go on," she didn't miss the relief on Yuuki's face at the obvious dismissal, "I've detained you long enough. Zero might have his hands full with the hordes of girls attempting to tackle the Night Class students." Yuuki giggled and stood up.

"You're right," she told her as she stretched, "I'll see you tonight."

"Later…" Yori sighed. She watched her friend run down the stairs, taking them five at a time, before hitting the door. Yori filed the long bounds she took away to her memory as she too stood. Starting this evening, she would make sure to be there at every changeover. Maybe, by studying the Night Class, she could find out the secret her best friend was keeping from her. She stood up and stuffed her books into her bag. She tossed it over her shoulder and hurried after Yuuki.

She found her spot away from the screaming crowd. Yori leaned against a tree, close to the school building but still out of sight. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the rough bark of the tree. She tried very hard not to let her mind wander. When the screams increased, Yori knew the Night Class were coming. She opened her eyes.

**X**

As Yuuki ran to catch Zero, she tried to push her guilt to the back of her mind. She hated being so evasive with Yori; it felt too close to lying to her, but she knew that it was necessary. While Yori was one of the most open-minded, accepting people Yuuki had ever met, she feared how her best friend would react to know that she was a vampire. A beast rested inside of her, slowly blending with the human. She saw the sea of black uniforms; over the multiple heads, she could see Zero's silver hair. His line was already behind him, behaving nicely. She pulled her whistle from her pocket and blew it sharply.

"Back up!" She demanded strongly of her own line. She blinked in surprise as many of the girls jumped backward; then, she caught sight of a few familiar faces in the ground: the stragglers from the night before. She closed her eyes and sighed. Word must have spread of her confrontation with Yumi and Yuna. _'Oh well,'_ she thought with a sigh, _'maybe it'll make my job easier to have them wary of me…After all, hadn't I wished to have the ability to quell them with a single look? It seems I got my wish…I just wish it didn't make me feel so lonely…'_

_'The existence of a Pureblood is a lonely one…unless you have someone to share it with._ ' It was a knowledge that all Purebloods had. Somewhere deep in their hearts, all knew that to live forever was a curse unless you had someone to share eternity with. As she stopped in front of the girls, she sighed. _'I'll never have to feel that way,'_ she told herself, _'not as long as I have Kaname…'_

The gates began to creak open. Apparently, the girls' wariness of her applied to more than just doing what she said. They rushed forward, but they didn't push against her. They screamed, but never in her ear. The change was a little creepy, but not wholly unwelcome. She couldn't count the bruises she'd gotten from doing her job. Still, she stood tense, ready to throw them back if Aidou did something to excite them.

"Hello, ladies!" Aidou greeted cheerfully. Yuuki blinked when his eyes lingered on her. His eyes were usually antagonistic and mischievous when he looked at her, but today they were simply curious and guarded. Something about his look now made her more wary than any of the looks before. "Yuuki-chan," he greeted her separately, but it wasn't his usual mocking greeting. He said her name with respect. She blinked. 'Kaname must have told them last night that he made me his lover…' She realized with a slight blush to her cheeks. Apparently, this was the worst thing to do. The girls in Zero's line gave annoyed squawks of rage. Aidou chuckled and moved on.

"Stop blushing!" One girl screamed.

"Oh, so you have to have Aidou too?!" Another protested. Yuuki suppressed the urge to roll her eyes.

"Yeah," she drawled sarcastically, "I'm trying to start a harem." She looked toward the only vampire that wouldn't be offended by her calling him out and shouted, "Hey, Ichijou-sempai, wanna join my harem?" He stumbled and looked over his shoulder at her. Then he laughed.

"No thanks, Yuuki-chan! No matter how tempting, Kaname-sama would kill me!" He chuckled.

"I'm glad you're having fun, Yuuki," she jumped as she heard Kaname's drawl by her shoulder. She flushed and looked back to him. Her nose brushed his. The shrieks grew louder. "But I'm afraid I don't share." She blushed violently at the possessive gleam in his eyes. She supposed it should have scared her, but this was Kaname. She knew no matter how possessive he got, no matter how angry, he would never hurt her. He would rather hurt himself first.

"I was kidding," she whispered. She kept her eyes determinedly on his. "As if I would ever want anyone else…" His eyes softened at her declaration, but that little darkness still remained. He straightened.

"Do be careful today, Yuuki. I'm afraid my friends and I have once again made things worse for you," he said in parting. Yuuki watched, almost without control over herself, as Kaname walked away. Her eyes lingered on the slopes of his shoulders and traveled up to trace his neck. Her breathe caught in her chest as the thirst tickled at her throat. She looked away before it flared. She looked over the way and found herself staring into Zero's eyes. Despite the indifferent expression on his face, Yuuki could see his concern. She looked away.

**X**

"Kaname-sama," Seiren whispered as they walked toward the school building, "there is a human girl leaning against that tree." All of the Nobles and he looked over. It was Sayori Wakaba, Yuuki's best friend. Just like Seiren had said, she was leaning against the tree; her arms crossed over her chest and her legs folded at the ankles. She appeared to have been waiting for them. He raised a brow and looked away.

"She's not disturbing us," he said to his Nobles. "So, do not bother her." He added that last part while looking at Aidou. The blonde shrunk back slightly. He had been thinking about going over to her, of course. When he picked on Yuuki during day hours, he always saw that girl standing by her. He knew that if anyone had the answers he wanted, she would the one. Surely, Yuuki talked to her about everything. He decided that he would talk to her later.

Kaname could feel her eyes lingering on him as he walked down the path, but her stare was not malicious but suspicious and curious. He sighed. It was clear Yuuki's behavior had brought up red flags for the girl, but Kaname had no intention of soothing her curiosities. He would leave the option of telling her up to Yuuki. Though…a selfish part of him whispered that if this girl knew then maybe Yuuki wouldn't make him wait much longer. _'No,'_ he discouraged himself. _'She is keeping her end of the deal; I will keep mine. I won't interfere more than necessary…'_

**X**

Yori watched the Night Class walk to the school building. She noticed more this time than she had before. _'Not that I paid much attention to them before,'_ she acknowledged as she studied them. They walked with an abnormal grace; they carried themselves as if nothing in the world could touch them. She blinked. A small part of her was annoyed by that arrogance, but another part of her was in awe that kind of confidence existed. She noticed that they seemed to avoid looking at her, only one was staring unashamedly at her: the blonde Yuuki complained about so much. Aidou. The happy persona he usually adopted was gone; in its place was a look of pure seriousness. His blue eyes met hers. A shiver skittered up her spine, but she didn't look away. For some reason, she couldn't find it in herself too. Her mind whispered that something important was happening between them right now. There was some test here that she needed to pass. Finally, he looked away.

Satisfied she had seen all she was going to see tonight, Yori moved away and walked through the woods back to the Sun dormitory. As she walked, she pondered on what to do. She knew she would never get her answers from just watching them; she didn't want to become a stalker. She was going to have to talk to one of them. Yori knew Kaname Kuran would be her best bet for answers, but something told her that she wouldn't get anything from him.

_'I'll think about it in the morning,'_ she reasoned. ' _I've got a load of homework to do tonight…_ '

**X**

Yori was shocked awake by the sound of someone tapping against her door. She furrowed her brows. ' _Who on earth would be up at this hour?'_ She wondered, _'Moreover, who on earth would come to this dorm room at this hour?'_ She climbed out of bed and walked across the cold floor. She opened the door. Her eyes widened immediately. Hanabusa Aidou stood at her door. Shock froze her in place for a moment, but then…fear immediately took its place. If someone saw him, she would get in trouble too. Before he could ask if he could come in, Yori stepped aside. It took all of her restraint not to boldly jerk him inside. _'Please don't let Yuuki come back early…please don't let Yuuki come back early…'_ She begged as he walked inside. She shut the door gently behind him and turned to him. Her toffee eyes flashed with both anger and desperation. Now that he was inside, she just wanted him to leave. She didn't care if she had to shove him through the window. He didn't need to be here!

"Relax," he attempted to soothe her. Aidou could see her pulse hammering in her neck. He knew why she was so stressed of course. To his knowledge, Sayori Wakaba never put even a toe out of line. She was the standard definition of a good girl. "I just came to talk. I apologize if I woke you." Her eyes narrowed. He knew he didn't sound or even look apologetic. She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for him to talk. "What can you tell me about Yuuki?" He asked as he sat down on Yuuki's bed.

Yori blinked. Her mind turned as she stared at him. She watched him look around her bed. He reached over to open the nightstand drawer; Yori moved and closed it before he could peer inside. Even she had no idea what Yuuki kept in there, but she knew her roommate wouldn't appreciate Aidou's snooping. He glared at her, but he quickly vanished it. Yori realized then that he must really want answers from her. So, despite her nervousness over getting caught with a boy in her room, she planned to use his desperation for answers to her advantage. After all, she had some questions of her own.

"I'll answer your questions if you answer some of mine," she bargained. His eyes narrowed. "We'll go one at a time. You start." She sank down onto her own bed. She crossed her ankles. Aidou pursed his lips, but realized that he had no choice but to agree to her terms. He sighed.

"Where did she come from, before she lived with the Headmaster?" He asked. Yori furrowed her brow.

"I don't know," Aidou's eyes narrowed. Yori held up a hand, "I'm not trying to trick you. I honestly don't know. Up until a few days ago, Yuuki was in the dark about her origin as well."

"Up until a few days ago?" He picked up on her word usage. "You mean, she's starting to remember her past?" Yori nodded. She saw no harm in answering his question since it pertained to the first.

"She said that…there was a block on her memories, but that block was gone now. Whatever that meant…"

"Someone must have sealed her memories," it sounded as Aidou was talking to himself now. Still, Yori listened. She had noticed that Yuuki tended to give herself away when she pondered aloud; she hoped that this boy was the same. "Another Pureblood…" Yori blinked at the strange term.

"Excuse me?" She wondered. Aidou blinked and then cursed loudly in his mind. He had given away something he shouldn't have. She was surely going to ask about that now. "What is a Pureblood?" He chewed his bottom lip. She could see in it his eyes; he was going to try to lie to her. Her eyes narrowed. "Don't lie to me either. I'm being honest with you so I expect the same honesty back. I'm borderline betraying my best friend here. The least you can do is be honest." Aidou blinked; he rolled his jaw. He still needed answer from her; there was still so much he didn't understand. _'I suppose…I'll have to bite the bullet on this one…'_

"A Pureblood," he sighed, "is the strongest of our kind. They have abilities that we could only dream of having…"

"Your kind?" Yori pondered aloud. She hoped that he would extend the same courtesy she did and answer her question, but he didn't. Instead, he returned with a question of his own.

"Did Yuuki mention anything about her memories?" He asked quickly.

"No," Yori gritted her teeth. "What did you mean by _your kind_?" She asked again. Aidou sighed.

"I'll get in a lot of trouble if I answer that…" He tried to appeal to her. She quirked her eyebrows.

"You're going to get in trouble either way," she argued bluntly, "sneaking into the girls' dorm late at night, skipping class…" He flinched. "So, you might as well tell me."

"Vampires," he sighed. Yori blinked. Her lips pulled down in a frown. "I'm serious." He added; Yori stared at him as he stood up and came to her. Gently, he lifted her hand, extended her forefinger, and opened his mouth. Yori jerked her hand back, but it didn't work. His grip on her wrist was strong.

"What are you-" Her affronted question was cut off as something wickedly sharp touched the pad of her finger. Her eyes widened. He ran her finger around the point and up the curve. She swallowed. They weren't fake. She tried to pull her finger away again, but managed to accidently cut it on his fang. Her heart skipped a fearful beat as his eyes glowed red in the darkness. "Aidou-sempai…" She whispered fearfully.

Her blood was sweet; it reminded him of cherries dipped in cream. He closed his eyes and tried to remember that this was not a good thing. Kaname would kill him if he endangered the peace of the Academy. Even the threat of death however wasn't enough to convince Aidou to stop. He lowered her hand from his mouth and heard her sigh of relief.

"Aidou-sempai, I think you should-" Her words cut off in a gasp as he pushed her down onto the bed. Before she could sit up, his body covered hers. He pinned her effectively to the bed with his weight. She tensed immediately; her heart raced out of fear; and an embarrassed blush rose onto her cheeks at the inappropriateness of it all. She blushed harder as she heard Aidou groan. She snapped out of her embarrassment when she felt a tongue run across her neck. She shrieked and shoved at him reflexively. "Get off!" She demanded, but it didn't come out as loudly as she had wanted. Fear, combined with his heaviness, had made her breathless. She pushed against his chest, but her shoves had no effect. He didn't even budge. Her heart froze as she felt the scrap of fangs against her jugular.

Suddenly, Aidou was being pulled off of her. A slim hand pressed against his chest, shoving him violently backward. His body soared back. He collided roughly with the wall above Yuuki's bed and then tumbled down. Her roommate's bed let out a loud, agonized groan as his weight slammed down onto it. Yori stayed where she lie. She was too shocked, too frightened to move. Her chest heaved powerfully as she tried to catch her breath. She was mortified to feel tears prickling at her eyes.

"Aidou-sempai," she looked over when she heard Yuuki's voice. Her heart lodged in her throat at the tone of her voice. "What do you think you are doing?" She demanded; her words were frighteningly cold. She could see the tension in her shoulders and the vicious curl of her fists. _'What?'_ Yori wondered weakly. Yuuki couldn't have done that. She wasn't strong enough to hurl a man twice her size like that. It was physically impossible; yet, Yuuki was the only newcomer to the room. Yori's mind fought to accept and disprove it; she only covered herself further with that cloud of confusion.

Aidou sat up slowly; his heart froze at the aura swirling in the room. A Pureblood stood in the room, but the only people in it were Yori and Yuuki. He looked up into Yuuki's eyes and lost his breathe. The reddish brown tint had been completely swallowed by glowing red.

"You…" He breathed. He couldn't….the pieces wouldn't fit. She narrowed her eyes. A very real shiver of fear stole down his spine. Even if his mind couldn't fit the pieces together, his senses understood clearly. In front of him was a Pureblood, a Pureblood he had angered. He swallowed.

"Did you forget that it's against school regulation to drink the blood of a human?" She took a step forward, "or do I need to remind you?" The clear threat in Yuuki's voice snapped Yori out of her shock induced state.

"Yuuki, don't!" Yori protested as she shot up. She grabbed Yuuki's hand to keep her from advancing on him. Yuuki turned her head and Yori's heart stopped. Red eyes. Glowing red eyes stared down at her from a familiar face. Yori let go. Her entire body was numb.

Yuuki's heart shattered at the look of complete fear on Yori's face. Tears gathered in her eyes, but she refused to let them all. She turned her head back to Aidou, who was still paralyzed on the bed. All of the anger she had felt earlier was gone. Yori's terrified look had syphoned it away. Now all that was left was a bone-deep sadness.

"Leave," she demanded. Aidou scrambled up from the bed. "I will be notifying Kaname of what you've done." Her tone was no longer cold and the aura of a Pureblood seemed to vanish, but he couldn't lie to himself. He knew what he had seen, what he had felt. Yuuki Cross was a Pureblood. Somehow, she was a Pureblood; and she was miraculously letting him go. So, he did the only thing he could think to do: he ran.

Once he was gone, Yuuki turned to Yori. Yori's face was pale white; her eyes were wide and her hands were shaking over her mouth. Yuuki's heart bled, but she forced herself to give her best friend a rueful smile.

"I'll sleep at the Headmaster's house tonight," she attempted to soothe the fear she saw on her friend's face. She gathered up her toiletry bag and her book bag. All the while, Yori watched her. _'What am I doing?_ ' Yori wondered. The thoughts didn't fully register in her mind; it was as if a fog covered her thoughts. ' _This is Yuuki…but…_ ' Glowing red eyes flashed into her mind. She recalled the feel of a tongue running up her neck and the scrap of fangs against her throat. She shivered. ' _But…Yuuki is one of them. Yuuki's a vampire._ ' She watched as Yuuki hoisted her book bag onto her shoulder and walked toward the door. She turned her head and looked over her shoulder. An extremely lonely, sad expression graced Yori's eyes. Her heart skipped a beat. "Goodnight, Yori-chan…"

It sounded like goodbye.

Before Yori could convince her legs to move, Yuuki was gone. Yori ran to the door and looked in the hallway. Yuuki wasn't on the landing or even on the stairs. Her heart tugged. "Yuuki…" She whispered in the darkness. Her eyes stung with tears that spilled over in hot streaks. She turned back toward their room.

She wanted…she wanted to chase after her, to explain. But how could she? She had frozen at a moment when Yuuki needed her steadfast friendship the most. She had let Yuuki down…because in that moment, she hadn't seen her best friend coming to her rescue…she had seen just another monster.


	16. Reconcile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki and Yori reconcile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

Yuuki walked to the Headmaster's house in a daze. She knew that patrols weren't over and that she was leaving Zero with all of the work, but she just…she didn't want to risk running into anyone right now. She probably would slaughter them. Her powers were out of her control. Her emotions were in even more of a disarray. She was angry with Aidou, hurt by Yori, ashamed of her own nature, angry about that which lead to her being angry at Yori for making her feel that way, and then ashamed all over again because she was angry at her. Yori had reacted like any sane human would at seeing a vampire for the first time; she had reacted the exact way Yuuki had all those years ago. _'Had Kaname felt this same pain when I turned him away as a child?'_ She wondered. Her lower lip trembled as she almost lost the war not to cry. Shame overtook her anger. She bowed her head and opened the door to the Headmaster's house. He left it unlocked just in case one of his children came home. She walked up the stairs, into her bedroom, and dropped her duffel bag and her book bag on the floor.

Something dripped onto her hand. She blinked and looked down. She was crying. At some point, she had started crying. Yuuki's lower lip wobbled furiously as she launched herself toward her bed. She folded around her pillow and just cried. She cried for herself; she cried for Yori; she cried for the pain Kaname must have felt all these ten years. She unleashed all of her pent up frustration and heartache. She cried until her throat and stomach ached.

Once all of her tears had subsided, she was ridiculously tired; but, like it was most nights, her body was at war. The vampire half of her overtook the human sensibilities that demanded sleep. She sat up with a quiet sigh and wiped the evidence of her tears away. As she ran a hand through her hair, she recalled the homework the teacher had assigned. It felt like ages ago and Yuuki didn't really feel like doing it right now, but she forced herself to get up out of bed. She bent down and picked up her book bag. She slung it over her shoulder and moved to the desk the Headmaster had pushed in the corner of the room. She set her bag down and opened it up. She dug out all of the books necessary for the homework she had tonight: her math book, her English book, her History book, and her notebooks. In math, she had six problems to work; in English, she had seven things to translate; in History, she just had a chapter to read. She started with her most difficult subject first: math.

The one good thing about really trying on her homework was that it took her mind off of all of the things that had happened. Her mind was completely focused on the task in front of her. She chewed her bottom lip. Doing homework was something new to her. Normally, she would have simply came in and went to sleep. Her grades were average before she became a disciplinary member, but once the Headmaster assigned her that job her grades began the steady slip into the toilet.

She raged, cursed, and threw the eraser across the room, but she managed to complete her math homework in record time. After her math assignment and books were safely tucked away, Yuuki took a much needed—and, in her opinion, deserved—break. She got up from her chair and moved downstairs. It was as she was riffling through the cabinets for her rose tea that she heard the door to the Headmaster's home open. She looked over her shoulder to see Zero. She turned back around and resumed fixing her tea.

"You weren't at the meeting point," he called her out as she filled the kettle with hot water. The statement, coupled with the concern in his voice, brought everything she had pushed away back. The memory of Yori's terrified face flashed back into her mind. She clenched her jaw at the memory.

"Yeah," Yuuki muttered; it wasn't hard for her to sound remorseful. "I'm not any smarter," she laughed, "so, I needed all the time I could get on my homework. I'm sorry to leave you hanging like that." She didn't turn around; she didn't want him to see her face. It was bad enough that she could feel his worried eyes on her back.

Zero searched for the falseness in her statement, in her tone, but he found none. He frowned. She truly was sorry that she had left him to deal with patrols by himself and she truly did need all the time she could get to do her homework. He frowned. Still, something felt wrong. He couldn't quite pinpoint what. There was nothing truly strange about what she had said. The only think strange was that she was staying at the Headmaster's house rather than her own dorm; but she had done it before to keep from waking Yori. He sighed quietly and nodded.

"So, how did patrols go for you?" Yuuki attempted at small talk; there was an ulterior motive to it though. She wanted to know if Zero had smelt Yori's blood, if he knew. She sipped her hot tea as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. She noticed first that at the very mention of patrols his entire body slumped down as if attempting to merge with the chair; he let out a quiet groan of frustration. It was so quiet that, if her senses hadn't expanded, she would have missed the sound. Still, she made no comment and continued to drink her tea. After a few more seconds, Zero opened his eyes and said:

"There is a reason I don't patrol outside, you know," he commented. She knew why he wouldn't, of course. It wasn't just that he was a potentially dangerous vampire; it was also because dealing with the other girls in class stressed him out. "One of the girls I was dealing with scrapped her hands. I startled her, I guess, and she fell from the tree she was trying—rather pathetically—to climb up." Yuuki's lip twitched even as she scolded:

"How mean, Zero!" He just shrugged a shoulder. Yuuki looked down into the deep ruby tea as she asked, "So…are you okay?"

"Yeah," Zero muttered. "I got some from the Headmaster's refrigerator before I left."

"Good," Yuuki whispered. "I'm glad you're alright." She ignored his eyes on her as she drank down the rest of her tea. It scorched her throat, but she ignored that too. "Well," Yuuki said cheerfully as she stood and rinsed her cup out in the sink, "I'll see you tomorrow." She turned back as she said, "Goodnight, Zero." Zero nodded to her as he cupped his chin with his hand. She walked past him and out of the kitchen. When she looked over her shoulder, he was still sitting there. Yuuki shook her head and walked up the stairs. _'He's going to sit there and think all night about what could have happened…'_ She sighed. _'But I'm not going to tell him.'_

Her head bowed as she walked into her room. _'There are so many things I'm keeping from him lately. My thirst, Kaname asking me to be his lover, and now this situation with Yori…'_ She leaned against the door and closed her eyes. A powerful wave of exhaustion swept over her; she stumbled toward her bed and collapsed onto the covers. It took a few seconds of meditative breathing for thoughts to quieten enough to allow sleep, but her sleep was not restful.

**X**

She awoke an hour before her alarm. The nightmares chased her into consciousness; the lingering terror tore a vicious scream of pain from her lips as the images of her best friend's dead body replayed over and over again in her mind. She wrapped her arms around her waist; her eyes bounced around the room, checking. It was empty. There was no body; she could see no blood. She ran her tongue along her lips and flinched. Her eyes widened with horror; she could taste it on her lips. Her stomach rolled. She searched the room once more before a persistent sting made her look down. Her breathing stopped. A deep, tearing bite was on her hand…right on the soft skin between her thumb and forefinger. Yuuki gave a quiet whimper as she felt the pain; blood poured from the wound in thin rivers and stained her bedsheet. She clutched her hand and tried to stop the bleeding as she stood up from bed. She moved quietly and gingerly toward the bathroom; with one hand, she took the first aid kit out from underneath the sink. She rinsed the blood away with warm water. She set about doctoring the wound. As she dapped the cotton ball onto the bite mark, she noticed it starting to shrink together _. 'At least I got it doctored…even though it's not really necessary…vampires don't get infections often…not unless we get shot with a vampire weapon…'_ She capped the antiseptic and set it aside _. 'I'm healing at a faster rate now…it's only by habit that I try to disinfect and bandage my injuries.'_ Yuuki watched with interest as the wound completely closed. Not even a scar was left behind. She put away the first aid kit and moved back toward her room.           

She stood staring at her bedsheets. Her hand must have been bleeding for quite some time before she awoke. Blood was smeared along her pillow and the bedsheet. The path her hand had taken throughout the night was easy to spot. She knew if she were to look underneath the pillow she would see blood under there too. She gave a quiet yawn as she started to strip the bed. Her pillowcase proved her previous assessment correct. She tossed the ruined fabric into the center of the room and set her pillow aside on her desk. Soon, her comforter and bedsheets joined the pile. She examined the mattress underneath, looking to see if any blood had bled through the sheets. A sigh of relief escaped when she realized it hadn't. "Good," she breathed as she turned around and gathered the bed clothes. She walked down the hall and dumped them into the laundry room.

By the time she was finished redressing her bed, her alarm chimed. She reached over and turned it off. She straightened up and stretched her arms high above her head; her back gave a satisfying crack. She lowered her arms with a sigh. "Today is going to suck…" Yuuki muttered honestly as she moved to her closet to pull her uniform out. _'I got such little sleep last night…'_ Her eyes widened as the memories of the night before came back to her.

_"Yuuki, don't!" She heard her best friend cry out as she stepped forward. In that next second, a hand folded around her wrist. Yuuki turned her head, ready to tell Yori to let go. Her startled gasp and the sound of her heart skipping told Yuuki she had forgotten once again; Yuuki had forgot her eyes glowed an eerie red when she was angry; she forgot that Yori didn't know. Yuuki's heart shattered at the look of complete fear on Yori's face. Tears gathered in her eyes, but she refused to let them all. She turned her head back to Aidou, who was still paralyzed on the bed. All of the anger she had felt earlier was gone. Yori's terrified look had syphoned it away. Now all that was left was a bone-deep sadness._

Yuuki held her uniform in her hands numbly. As she stared down at the dark jacket, she debated skipping class. It would not be difficult to slip away; she was certain that Kaname wouldn't truly mind if she spent the day curled up next to him. _'But…he will be disappointed that I'm skipping…and I really need to catch up. To skip right now…when I'm doing so well…could be detrimental._ ' She stared down at the jacket; tears gathered in her eyes. _'How am I going to sit across from Yori-chan and pretend that she wasn't terrified of me? How am I going to sit there and pretend that what happened last night didn't happen…?'_ Her lower lip trembled but the tears didn't fall. She walked across the hardwood and set her uniform on the bed. She shed her nightgown and kicked it across the room before pulling the skirt and stockings up her legs. She strapped Artemis to her thigh and then shrugged on a pale pink undershirt—because honestly these button ups were too thin, almost transparent. She tried not to think about Yori as she dressed.

Instead, she entertained the thought of what would happen if she skipped class and walked to the Night Dorm. Yuuki knew everyone else in the Night Class would be asleep; Kaname probably would be too, but he would still be semi-aware of his surroundings. She would tiptoe up to his room and slipped inside, being careful not to let the door make any noise, and then she would cross the gap between his little living room and the bedroom. She would open his bedroom door and find him rolled over onto his side. His eyes would still be closed, but he would sense her. She would move across the floor and crawl into bed next to him, only now would his eyes open. They would be filled with questions and concerns, but he would voice none. Instead, he would wrap his arm around her waist and pull her close. She would lay her head against his shoulder and tuck her legs between his. Together, they would sleep.

It certainly made the thought of skipping all the more tempting; spend the day in emotional turmoil or spend the day sleeping with Kaname: she knew which one she would always prefer. Somehow, she managed to resist. She reminded herself of why she was paying more attention in class and why she was trying on her homework: it was because of Kaname too. One day, they would start a life together…and she didn't want him always trying to make up for her shortcomings. She wanted to be able to stand with him on an equal footing. She strengthened her jaw and tied the ribbon to her jacket. She grabbed her bag, filled with her finished homework and her books, and moved downstairs.

She decided. She would go to class. She just…wouldn't sit next to Yori like usual. Instead, she would sit across the room in that empty seat near the window. She would give Yori space and let her come to her on her own time. She didn't look at her best friends or anyone really as she moved to that empty seat. Yuuki could feel Yori's and Zero's eyes on her, but she didn't meet them. She sat down in the empty seat and pulled her finished homework out to check over.

**X**

Yori's heart ached as she stared at her best friend's form. She didn't have to wonder what her best friend was doing; she was trying to give her space. Yori looked down at her text book _. 'Stupid Yuuki…'_ She thought mournfully. _'I don't want space. I want you to talk to me like you were. I want to know why you felt you had to keep it from me…to keep everything from me.'_ After the attack, she had stayed awake all night, thinking. Suddenly, all of the strange things about the Night Class made sense. She jumped as the chair beside her—Yuuki's chair—scrapped back. Her heart gave a small hopeful skip, but it was only Zero. The silver headed boy eased himself down into Yuuki's chair.

"Did Yuuki and you have a fight?" He asked immediately. For a moment, she was trapped by the intensity of Zero's eyes. No one else besides Yuuki could see past his shields, but Yori had grown up with men like Zero: his shields have shields. He seems cold and unfeeling, but inside there is this storm of passion. The thought of Zero being _passionate_ in any shape or form made her blush slightly. In his eyes, she could see his concern and his curiosity. Yori's lips fell apart; she wanted to tell him everything. More importantly, she wanted to know if he _knew_. The questions she wanted to hurl at him however wouldn't come out. She couldn't make her lips form the words.

"You could say that," she muttered instead as she turned her eyes away from his. She looked down at the glossy cover of her textbook.

"Must have been something serious," he coaxed in that usual disinterested drawl he had. Yori fought off a smile. _'You aren't fooling me,'_ she thought. _'You're going crazy not knowing what's wrong with Yuuki.'_ That thought made her realize something. _'If he's questioning me, then Yuuki hasn't told him what happened last night…Of course she hasn't. Yuuki wouldn't want his sympathy. She would say that it's something between us…something that we should work out without including anyone else…'_ Yori peeked at Zero from underneath her bangs. His attention wasn't on her, but on Yuuki. _'But he's already involved. Her connection to him and his feelings for her involve him. So…'_

"It's not, not really. I mean…she thinks it's a big deal…but it's really not," Yori said it loud enough so that Yuuki could hear. She smiled slightly when Yuuki's head snapped over to her. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted. Yori kept her eyes on her best friend as she said: "she's still the Yuuki I befriended…no matter what." The blinding smile she got in return made her feel a little better. Zero gave a quiet sigh. She flushed and looked over at him apologetically. She met his eyes again and was immediately pinned in place. Her cheeks burned at the look of understanding and tenderness in his eyes. She knew, of course, that tenderness wasn't meant for her.

"I feel the same way," Zero confessed to her. Her blush worsened as the entire class seemed to pick up on _that._

"EHH?" She heard one of the girls exclaim. "Kiryuu-kun and Wakaba-san?!" Yori slumped her shoulders inward; her face must resemble Zero's tie. Zero, for his part, blinked. She looked away from him and down at the table.

"Is that why Yuuki-chan is sitting all the way over there?" Another girl questioned. Yori kept trying to make herself smaller.

"Oh…how cruel, Zero-kun! To confess your feelings like that with Yuuki-chan in the room!" Another girl scolded him. A vein in Zero's forehead started to twitch.

"So bold, Kiryuu," boy. "To confess in such a public setting." Yori's eyes narrowed as she picked up Yuuki's shoulders shaking.

"I wish I could be as confident as him…" Another boy commented with a forlorn sigh. An ominous aura pulsed from beside her, drawing her attention away from her laughing friend. Her eyes widened at the completely thunderous look on Zero's face.

"Yuuki," Zero barked, "set the record straight here!"

"Sorry! Sorry!" Yuuki laughed finally as she stood up and faced the rest of the class. She adopted a gentle, reassuring smile that made even Zero relax beside her. "I do not mean to be offensive, but I think you all have the wrong idea. Zero was only worried that Yori-chan and I are at odds." Yuuki sounded so diplomatic; it was strange for Yori to hear. She held up her hand as one of the girls opened their mouth, "I mean this as politely as possible, but what Yori-chan and I were fighting about is none of your business."

"So…will you come back to your seat?" Yori pipped up while it was still silent.

"Do you want me too?" Yuuki asked in return. Yori nodded. "Then I will," she agreed as she gathered her book to her side and picked up her book bag. Zero vacated the seat and moved back to his own as Yuuki walked toward her. Just as she sat down, the teacher entered the room.

"You handled that well," Yori commented.

"Are we really okay?" Yuuki asked instead of thanking her. Yori stared into her friend's eyes; she could see no sign of that vicious being she had seen the night before. All she could see was Yuuki, her best friend. Even last night, Yori realized, Yuuki had lurked underneath that vicious vampire intend to ripping Aidou apart.

"Yes," Yori knew it was the truth. "We're okay. I know you'd never hurt me." Yuuki was stopped from answering by the appearance of the teacher. She handed her homework to the teacher who gave it a cursory glance and froze.

"You…actually did your homework…." The teacher's shock was mildly offensive and extremely embarrassing. _'Was I really such a poor student before?'_ Yuuki wondered though she already knew the answer was a resounding yes. The teacher shook his head as he forced himself to move on. He took Yori's homework. As he moved away, Yuuki caught the deep grimace on Kasumi's face. _'It must be hard,'_ she thought, _'to twist like that…'_ Kasumi sat at the front of the class; so in order to see her in the back of the room, he would have to turn around. His unhappy expression deepened when Yuuki met his eyes. She sighed. It seemed that she was going to have problems out of the Class President soon. She could see the wheels turning in his mind. She looked away from him and back to the front of the class as the teacher set down the stacks of homework. "Alright," he called to the class, "today's lesson…"

**X**

Aidou kept waiting for Yuuki to show up and tell Kaname of what he'd done. The anticipation of it was killing him faster than the guilt he felt. He hadn't gone there to hurt or frighten Yori; everything had simply snowballed after she had pricked her finger. A shudder stole down his spine as he recalled Yuuki's dangerous aura and his fear. He still didn't understand how such a thing was possible. He didn't understand how they hadn't sensed it before. He put his elbow on the arm of the couch and propped his chin up with his hand.

_"Up until a few days ago,"_ he recalled Yori saying, _"Yuuki was in the dark about her origin as well." 'Then, I had thought someone had sealed her memories away…another Pureblood. She came to live with the Headmaster ten years ago…so she must have been five. What had she witnessed that made it necessary to seal away her memories…no, not just her memories…her very nature in fact. A seal can be altered to hide more than just memories. The Pureblood that sealed her also turned her human…but why? Who would go to such extremes?'_ Aidou knew the answer to that question, but he didn't think Kaname would ever do that. No, Kaname would have tried to protect her himself; not seal her away and send her to live with someone else _. 'So…her parents then?'_ There were still so many pieces missing from the puzzle. He knew the only person he would get answers from was Yuuki, but he wasn't certain he wanted to confront her just yet. _'How could I demand anything of her after I just potentially ruined her friendship with Yori?_ ' He asked himself.

Screams came from outside. He blinked and looked up to see that, sometime during his thought process, evening had come. The Day Class girls were out of their classes. Aidou swallowed _. 'Which means Yuuki is as well…'_ Aidou stood from the couch and mentally prepared the best he could for his punishment.

Kain stopped on the bottom step and just studied his cousin. The blonde had been acting strange ever since classes had ended last night. Like the rest of the Night Class, he had noticed that Aidou had been missing for their final class; he imagined that the Class President would have confronted him on it yet. _'But…who knows when it comes to Kaname-sama's mind. He'll probably want to have Aidou work up a good panic…maybe he's waiting for Aidou to blurt out what he'd done…'_ Kain stared. Even though Kain speculated all of these things, getting the truth out of Aidou was going to be difficult. Every time Kaname was in the same room as him, Aidou would immediately excuse himself _. 'Which…makes me think he's done something to Yuuki-chan,'_ he added. _'Let's hope, for his sake, Kaname-sama doesn't reach the same conclusion.'_

"Yo," he greeted Aidou finally; he quirked an eyebrow as he jumped, but didn't commented.

"Oh, hey, Akatsuki!" Aidou laughed his reaction off, but it sounded so false.

"You ready?" Kain asked; like most of his questions, there was a double meaning to it.

"As I'll ever be," Aidou sighed heavily.

X

Yori grabbed Yuuki's wrist the moment the bell rang. Yuuki froze and looked over her shoulder at her as Yori told Zero: "I'm borrowing Yuuki for a few minutes. She will join you as soon as we are finished here." Dread pooled into Yuuki's stomach at the tone. She swallowed reflexively and fought off closing her eyes. _'Of course,'_ she thought. _'I knew Yori's acceptance of me was too good to be true…Here comes the part where she tells me to leave her alone…'_ She bit her tongue to keep the tears at bay.

Zero wanted to argue; he wanted to stay and listen to it. Maybe he would find out what the girls were fighting over, but something about the tension in the room told him he didn't need to know. Normally, Zero would ignore those cues, but something in Yuuki's eyes told him to leave. He sighed. "Sure." He agreed; then he turned to Yuuki, "Don't be too late. And I'm taking the inside tonight." He added as an afterthought as he walked away.

Yuuki watched her best friend's back as he walked toward the door leading out of the classroom. Her stomach was twisting tighter and tighter as Yori maneuvered in front of her. Her hand was still locked around her wrist…as if she feared Yuuki would run at the first chance. She wanted to reassure her friend that she wasn't going to disappear if she let go, but she couldn't get her tongue to move. Worry and fear blocked the words before they escaped. A quiet gasp of surprise escaped her as Yori began pulling her toward the door to the classroom. Yuuki followed her silently; her eyes bounced between Yori's caramel colored hair and the hand around her wrist. Though Yuuki plead mentally for her friend to talk, Yori remained silent as she pulled her alone. It stayed that way until they reached their dorm room.

"Sit," Yori demanded, pointing toward Yuuki's bed abruptly. Yuuki immediately sat down and watched as her friend locked the door. _'Is she planning on killing me?'_ Yuuki wondered; she felt inappropriate amusement at the thought. "Explain," Yori demanded quietly. Suddenly all of the questions Yori had been dying to ask came pouring from her lips: "How are you a vam…vampire now? Why do you still look human? Why don't you have fangs like…like Aidou-sempai?"

Yuuki's lips fell apart before an easy smile crossed her lips. "Oh…" She breathed in relief _. 'She's just curious,'_ Yuuki thought warmly. ' _She was waiting for the right moment to ask me her questions…'_ Her previous dread turned to swelling affection for the girl perched at the edge of her bed. Gone was the aloof front Yori put on. She was practically leaned forward in her excitement. Yuuki smothered a laugh as she started to answer her friend's questions.

"To understand the story completely, I suppose we'll have to go back to the beginning. As you know, my first memories were of Kaname rescuing me from a dangerous man," Yori nodded unnecessarily, "but that wasn't a consequence and it didn't happen quite like we lead you to believe. It wasn't just some man but a Level E vampire, but I'll give you a lesson on what that is later. Kaname knew me from before. We were meant to be married when we both reached of age." Yori's mouth fell open. "The night he rescued me was the night my parents were murdered; my father had died fighting off attackers while my mother had died sealing the vampire part of me away." Yuuki could see Yori's lips forming a question, she interrupted, "It is an ability only Pureblood vampires can harness. No other vampire has the ability to turn another being human, but it comes at a great cost. In order to turn another Pureblood human, you must sacrifice your life. My mother did this to keep me safe. Once the seal was firmly in place, my memories of my life previous had been erased. It was Kaname's job to get me to safety, but he was being pursued so he had to put me down."

"Over the winter holidays, my memories started to resurface and I didn't know how to deal with them or how to accept them. To answer your questions: yes, I have always been a vampire. I am simply sealed in human form until Kaname can awaken me. That is also the reason I don't have fangs. Outside, I am human; inside, I am not."

"Um…" Yori brought a hand up to massage her forehead. _'Yuuki was born a vampire; Kaname is her fiancée, not just her lover. But why did her mother go to such extremes to protect her? What threat was so serious that a vampire couldn't handle? Why did Yuuki suddenly remember everything over winter holidays? Does Zero-kun know about it?' The_ thought that followed brought all other thoughts to a grinding halt. Her eyes widened. "I'm not going to become a vampire, right?!" Yuuki blinked at her friend's panicked expression.

"What?" Yuuki's eyes crossed as Yori shoved her finger into her face. She could see the small cut on her fingertip.

"Aidou-sempai bit my finger! Does that mean-" Yuuki bit deep into her tongue to keep from laughing out loud.

"No," she fought to keep the laugh out of her voice. "Only a Pureblood vampire is able to create more vampires."

"And," Yori's eyes fell to the comforter, "which are you?" Yuuki rolled her lips together.

"A Pureblood." Yori's eyes widened at the answer.

"Ah…" She muttered. Yuuki pursed her lips to keep the laughter inside.

"Yeah." She agreed quietly. "It was a shock to me too."


	17. Guilty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki finally tells Kaname about the incident between Aido, Yori, and her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

            Hanabusa Aidou was close to panicking as he realized that Yuuki was not at the class change over. If there was one thing he had found out about Yuuki, she took her responsibilities as Guardian very seriously. So for her to be missing, for her to skip….it only forced home just how badly he had messed up. He was made to feel even more miserable when he caught the quick downward tilt of Kaname’s lips.

            “Idol-sempai!” He heard a girl screech happily. He forced a smile.

            “Hello, ladies! How did you sleep last night? Did anyone dream of me?” He asked with false cheer and humor. Immediately, girls started screaming their answers.

            Kain fought off a sigh as he watched his cousin implement his front. Aidou would act as if nothing was wrong until it exploded in his face. _‘Personally, I think he should just tell Kaname-sama what he did and just get the punishment over with. No use in dragging it out…’_ Kain thought as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. He heard Ruka give a quiet sigh from beside him. His eyes bounced over to her to see her caramel colored eyes focused on a young man who was screeching and waving his arms about like a possessed banshee. Immediately, Kain recognized him as the Class President for the Day Class. He rolled his eyes.

            “How unbecoming,” Ruka muttered. “This is the example he sets for the Day Class?” She sniffed. “Kaname-sama is much better.” Kain bit his tongue to keep from pointing out that Ruka would have thought that even if Kaname wasn’t their Class President. He gave a mental sigh and turned his attention back to the front. The screams of the Day Class girls faded away as they got closer and closer to the class building.

            “Hmm…that girl is missing today,” Aidou flinched when he heard Ichijou’s voice pointing what he had already noticed out. Yori was absent today as well. Kain, of course, noticed; but he knew that he wasn’t the only one that zeroed in on Aidou’s flinch. Kaname’s eyes narrowed. “And come to think of it, I didn’t see Yuuki-sama at the changeover. Do you think something happened between them?” Aidou tried hard to keep the guilt off of his face, but it showed in the way his shoulders slumped.

            “It’s none of our business,” Shiki pointed out to his friend as he munched on a piece of pocky. Rima nodded her agreement beside him.

            _‘How dare she worry Kaname-sama like this,’_ Ruka thought; she knew better than to say it aloud. It would sound like a slander against Yuuki, the woman Kaname had chosen to be his lover. Ruka furrowed her brows. _‘It makes no sense! Why her? She’s human for Christ’s sake! What’s so special about her?’_

            “Stop,” she startled slightly when she heard Kain’s voice. She felt his finger push her eyebrows up. “You’ll get premature wrinkles and then no one will find you attractive.”

            “How rude,” she muttered as she turned her head to the side. Kain grinned.

X

            An hour later found Yuuki on the roof of the Night Class building. The trees that used to block her line of sight seemed to thin and shift underneath her new, improved vision. She could see the small animals hopping and scurrying about the forest floor; she could even hear them. She winced as she realized that wasn’t all she could hear. She could hear the class going on below her: the teacher’s voice, the screech of the chalk on the board, the tapping of a pencil against someone’s desk, the turning of a book page, and the constant tick of a clock’s hands. Beyond the classroom, she could hear the faint snoring coming from the Day Class boy’s dorm. A quiet groan escaped her lips as she dimmed her sense of hearing. _‘No wonder it always seems like Kaname knows everything that going on…He can probably hear it. Well, I get the feeling it’s going to be kind of difficult to look Kaname in the eye now…’_  She couldn’t help but think on all of the things it was possible that he had overheard.

            Her hearing did however pick up something else. The hushed whispers of two young girls as they tried to find to the “perfect picture angle for Kaname-sempai.” Her eyes narrowed before she let out an exasperated sigh. She vaulted over the edge of the roof and bounced from tree to window ledge. She grabbed a branch and swung up. A wicked idea formed in her head.

            These girls always sunk out. She could identify them easily by the short pixie cut hair and the blonde waves. No matter how many times Yuuki had told them that it was dangerous out, they always, always ignored her. She smirked and used the trees as cover. She hopped from branch to branch before dropping down behind them.

            “What do you two think you’re doing?” She asked loudly. A startled scream escaped pixie’s lips. She jumped back so violently that she stepped on the girl behind her. They both went down in a mess of limbs, but the camera was somehow saved. Yuuki knew because the flash of the camera going off in her eyes nearly blinded her. The picture floated down onto the grass. She blinked rapidly to expel the pain as the girls detangled from one another.  

            “How mean to startle us like that, Yuuki-chan!” The blonde whined. Yuuki suppressed a growl. _‘How mean of you to have cameras with such an aggressive flash…’_ she thought, unbearably irritated, as she fought the urge to rub her eyes.

            “It would have been impossible if you ladies had been where you need to be at this hour,” she glared at them both as she said, “ _in your dorms.”_ It was a testament to her new…personality…that they didn’t immediately protest or glare. They bowed their heads.

            “We know we shouldn’t be out at night…”

            “It’s just,” the pixie headed teen looked over her shoulder at the building. Yuuki bit inside her cheek when she realized that the girl’s eyes were lingering on _her_ Kaname. She looked toward the blonde and found that her eyes were also on Kaname. She forcibly shoved away the flush of possessiveness that rushed through her and unlocked her jaw.   

            “Yes, yes,” she waved her hand as if dismissing their affections, “he’s very handsome. All of the Night Class are, but that is no reason for you to break curfew and a few other rules in the process.”

            “R-rules?” The blonde stuttered. She shared a look with her friend. Yuuki had intended to cite some meaningless rule in the handbook, but as she looked at the nervous expressions on their faces she found another “rule” forming in her head.

            “Well, it’s not really a rule. More of a request…,” Yuuki sighed as she locked her hands behind her back. She looked up toward the building. “The Headmaster asked that I not say anything at first because he so hates to stifle creativity, but…I’m afraid their discomfort cannot be ignored any longer.”

            “Who’s?” They asked timidly at the same time. Yuuki turned back to them now. She kept her posture completely relaxed as she pointed a finger toward the class building. It was a simple roll of her wrist and an extending of her index finger.    

            “Why, the Night Class of course,” she pulled her finger back and linked her hand in front of her skirt. “You see, away from school, they are constantly badgered by paparazzi and just random strangers wanting pictures,” she sighed deeply. She looked both girls in turn and saw the same matching expressions of dread and worry. It probably should have stopped her or made her guilty, but she only felt slight amusement and accomplishment as she delivered the final nail in their emotional coffin. “Kaname-sama confessed to me that he had hoped this place would be free of such…oh, what was his word? _Nuisances_.” She did however feel slightly guilty when their eyes filled with tears, but she pushed past it. “He’s quite disappointed actually,” she made her tone as sad as possible as she added that.

            “We’re terribly sorry, Yuuki-chan!” Yuuki blinked as they bowed deeply in front of her.

            “We’ll notify the others right away!” They declared as they straightened. Yuuki stared in surprise as they began to run toward the Sun Dorms.

            “You’ll apologize to Kaname-sama for us, won’t you?!” Yuuki heard as they ran away. _‘Well then…’_ Yuuki thought, slightly surprised, _‘that worked.’_ She looked down at the Polaroid picture the girls had left. _‘But…shouldn’t I feel bad for basically manipulating those girls? I played on their feelings for Kaname to get them to do something I wanted.’_ She knew that it would have bothered her a month ago. Heck, she wouldn’t have even _dreamed_ of doing it a month ago. She pursed her lips. _‘Is this what it means to be a Pureblood?’_ She asked herself. _‘Will I have to be manipulative from this point on? Will I even be able to look at myself in the mirror once the change is done?’_

            _“You will. This won’t-”_ Whatever reassurance that the other half of herself would give was drown out by a familiar deep voice:  

            “I’m afraid I don’t remember that conversation, my dear.” She spun around to see Kaname leaning against a tree. Her heart was guilty of missing a beat as she looked at him. Before she became too lost in his eyes, she registered what he had said. She flushed slightly and scratched her cheek.

            “I’m sorry for bringing you into my lie, Kaname,” Yuuki apologized as she lowered her hand. A breeze kicked up around them. While her skirt and hair danced, his bangs lifted off of his forehead and revealed his narrowed eyes to her. He uncrossed his arms and stepped away from the tree.  

            “Is that all?” He drawled as he walked toward her. For a moment, she was reminded powerfully of a predator approaching his prey. She furrowed her brows. _‘Why does he seem so agitated? Surely, he isn’t mad at me over my manipulation. He manipulates people all the time…Come to think of it, shouldn’t that have just turned me away from him? If he can manipulate those closest to him—people he considers friends—who’s to say he won’t use me?’_ Before she could think more on it, he spoke again. “No apology for making me worry so?” Her lips fell apart at the statement.

            “Um…about that,” she muttered as he closed the medium distance that had been between them. She had to crane her neck to see his eyes now. “Isn’t it part of your job description to worry for me, Kaname?” His mouth fell open slightly at the return. Yuuki gave a small smile and continued with, “but you are right. I am sorry that I worried you.” As she looked up at him, she debated telling him about Aidou now or waiting for later.

            “What happened to delay you?” He asked, referring to her tardiness at change over. Yuuki rolled her lips together and came to a decision.

            “Last night,” she sighed, “Aidou paid a visit to Yori.” Kaname’s eyes narrowed slightly at the revelation, but it was clearly something he had expected. “I think…he just went there to talk to her, but…something happened. Somehow, he cut her finger. When I walked into the room, he had her pressed down onto the bed and was looming over her—about to bite her.” The memory flashed to the forefront of her mind. A small shiver rippled down her spine at the fear she had seen on her best friend’s face. “I handled it, but…Yori saw me.” Yuuki raised a hand to the skin underneath her eyes. Kaname immediately understood…if her friend had seen her, then Aidou had as well. He frowned slightly. He would have to make certain that the blonde kept Yuuki’s true state a secret. “She…didn’t take it well. So, I left the dorm room and stayed at the Chairman’s for the night. What delayed me on patrols was Yori. She grabbed me before class ended to set the matters straight.” Yuuki gave a soft smile.

            “I’m glad that knowing what you are didn’t change things with your friend, Yuuki.” Kaname said honestly. “I will punish Aidou accordingly.” Yuuki pursed her lips.

            “Don’t be too hard on him, Kaname,” she suggested. “He actually made it easier. I had been wondering how I would tell Yori goodbye while keeping her in the dark…Now, I won’t have too.” She flicked her eyes back to him and said, “Besides, I frightened him badly. I’m afraid I lost control somewhat…Any more terror and he could go into cardiac arrest or something.”

            “Your concern for him is noted, dear girl,” Kaname reassured as he touched her cheek. “But do not concern yourself too much. It is very difficult to give a vampire a heart attack.”

            “I’m sure you could achieve it,” Yuuki returned. He chuckled as he traced his thumb along her cheek before he let his hand fall away from her cheek.

            “I need to get back to class now,” Kaname dismissed himself before he leaned down toward her. Yuuki tilted her chin up and their lips met gently. He smiled softly against her lips before he relaxed his mouth into the kiss. He pulled away reluctantly and stepped back. Yuuki sank back down onto her heels and smiled.

            “Have a nice lesson,” she wished. Kaname nodded; they kept their eyes on one another as he walked backward into the cover of the trees. Once she could see him no longer, she returned to her patrols.

            As Kaname walked to the building of instruction, he thought on his confrontation with Aidou. He would wait until their lessons were over, but still he needed to figure out a punishment that would fit the crime. Since his biting of Yori had not been fatal and an accident, he would not punish him as severely as he did the other Noble. He was still thinking on it as he walked back into his classroom. None of the Nobles commented on his sudden disappearance and reappearance; there was no smart comment from the teacher as he came in. His station as a Pureblood protected him from such disrespect. The teacher continued the lesson as if he had not been interrupted.

            Kaname eased himself into his seat in the back of the classroom and made a show of paying attention as he shifted through all of the unusual punishments he could implement on the blonde vampire.

            Despite the calm on the Pureblood’s face, Aidou still couldn’t help the tension that flooded him. He just knew that Yuuki had told him now. He swallowed down the lump of fear that had rose into his throat and tried to focus on the teacher. Beside him, he was aware of Kain sigh. He could hear the question his cousin did not ask hanging in the air: _what did you do?_  Aidou ignored it and focused on copying down unneeded notes.

            He dreaded the end of classes.

X

            “Aidou,” Kaname addressed him when they were in the confines of their dorm. The vampire in question tensed and turned to face him. Kaname was aware of Ruka and Kain stopping on the stairs, but he paid them no mind. He would not rush them away if they wanted to hear what it was Aidou had done. “What part of leave the girl alone did you not understand?” The blonde bowed his head. “Did you not think me serious?” Kaname waited for Aidou’s explanations, but when he got none, he gave a menacing chuckle. “I am not asking these questions rhetorically, Hanabusa. I expect answers.”

            “I did not go there with the intention of hurting her, Kaname-sama. I was curious about Yuuki-sama and I knew I wouldn’t get the answers I needed from her. Everything was going fine until she cut her finger…”

            “And how did she do that, Aidou?”

            “I…It was my fault, Kaname-sama. I let her feel my fang,” he ran a tongue over the fang in question, “and it must have surprised her because she jerked back…and cut her finger open. And then I guess I just lost control after that.” He finally looked up at Kaname. “I am glad that Yuuki-sama was there to stop me.” The Pureblood nodded, accepting the statement as truth. “If she had not, I would have killed Yori-chan.”

            “No,” Kaname disagreed, “you would not have.” He did not explain and Aidou did not ask how he knew that. “Despite your clear grievances, you still broke three of the school’s rules and blatantly disregarded my wishes. You will still be punished, Aidou.”

            “I understand, Kaname-sama.” Aidou did not argue. He simply bowed his head again and waited for news of what his punishment would be.

            “You will be Ruka’s servant for an entire week.” His jaw dropped to the floor. His eyes widened with horror. Kaname fought an amused smile as he caught Ruka’s reaction on the stairs: her face paled for a second before it brightened. Her eyes sparked with a manic gleam. “All of the things she tells you, you must do without complaint…Treat her as if she were me for if she tells me that you have disrespected her or back talked her in any way, I will make the punishment even more severe.” He continued on. “Your punishment will begin in the morning. As of now, we all night sleep.”

            “Yes, Kaname-sama,” Aidou murmured.

            “Thank you, Kaname-sama,” Ruka called from the stairs. “Goodnight!”

            “Goodnight, Ruka,” Kaname dismissed himself as he started up the stairs to his bedroom. Aidou gave a small sigh and walked to the stairs. Kain leaned against the railing, waiting for him to reach him.  

            “At least,” Kain said as his cousin fell into step beside him, “he didn’t hit you.” Aidou looked over at him with a look that was equally loathing for his punishment and fear of the morning.  

            “I almost wish he had,” Aidou grumbled. Kain’s lips twitched.

            “You will be fine,” he attempted to reassure his cousin, but even he did not believe it. Aidou did not comment, but the look he gave him spoke: “ _Yeah, right.”_    

            Ruka was practically skipping up the steps in front of them. If it hadn’t been for her upbringing as a lady, she would be. She was delighted that Kaname had made her part of Aidou’s punishment. She would enjoy torturing the annoying blonde.

            Kaname, in the confines of his bedroom, allowed himself to feel the amusement he had beat back so strongly before. He gave a quiet, honest chuckle as he recalled Ruka’s and Aidou’s faces _. ‘Perhaps,’_ he thought in hindsight, _‘giving Aidou to Ruka was not an ‘easy’ punishment after all.’_


	18. Once A Hunter, Always A Hunter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero puzzles over his conflicting emotions toward Yuuki's true nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

             Zero followed closely behind Yuuki as they walked down the hall. He was vaguely paying attention to what she was saying—something about their duties today and whether or not he wanted to take the inside or outside; but he couldn’t focus. Her scent was wafting toward him due to the vents. He swallowed, but kept his eyes firmly away from her.

             It wasn’t hunger that caused him to shy away from eye contact with her. Well, it was…but he wasn’t thirsty at the moment. No, his hunger was entirely different. As repulsive as it was to him, he could smell the change her body was undergoing now. Her usually sweet and appealing scent had somehow become even more potent. A tang of spice filled the air around her that the vampire in him recognized immediately: _superior power_.

             He knew that it would confuse any noble that took the time to pay close attention to her scent. If they simply took it at face value, it would be assumed that she was a powerful level E. The very thought made him balk. Her life would only become more dangerous…as if having him as a parasite wasn’t deadly enough. Her enemies would grow. If the Hunter’s Association ever found out, she would become priority number one; hunters from all over would have her on their list. She would never be able to rest.

             Fear punched him hard in the stomach. He found himself reaching for her; his hand inches away from her back.

             “Zero!” Yuuki snapped; he jerked his hand back as if burned. She swung in front of him. Almost immediately their eyes sought one another’s. “Listen to me!” It was immediately as if she had hypnotized him, he suddenly couldn’t think of anything else but the words she would speak. His ears seemed to tune into her frequency especially. “I think you need to take the inside again tonight. I don’t think the girls will be so much of a problem anymore, but there’s still a chance…” Yuuki trailed off, noticing finally his intense attention on her being. She furrowed her brows. “What’s wrong with you?”

             Zero realized what was happening and tensed completely. _Yuuki had controlled him._  The moment she had demanded his attention and filled her voice with that unfamiliar authority, Zero had been helpless. Outrage and just plain rage swelled up within him at the realization. His emotions broke her hold over him, but he didn’t allow himself to feel accomplished. He knew if it had been Kaname or any other experienced Pureblood, he would have to bend to their will possibly for the rest of his life. The realization only increased his anger.

             That poisonous whisper returned. It told him that he had been right in the beginning. He was nothing but a puppet to her. Once she fully realized her ability, she would forget all about him and skip away into the sunset with her precious Kuran. She would become just like Kuran: manipulating the world as she saw fit and treating them all like pawns on a chess board. His fist balled up at his side to hide the shaking of his hands.  

             “Zero?” Yuuki reached for him. She could practically feel the anger pulsing off of him; unwillingly, her eyes filled with tears. Just as her hand neared his forearm, he jerked away from her. Yuuki paled as he leveled her with a chilling glare before he briskly walked away from her. “Zero!” Yuuki called after him. She began to chase after him, but then…it clicked. What she had done to make him so angry…Her eyes filled with earnest, sorrowful tears.

             She had accidentally manipulated Zero in a moment of frustration. She had been so annoyed that—once again—he was tuning her out; when she had stepped in front of him, she had only meant to remind him that she was there. She didn’t think she would…that she could… _She had_ _forced_ _Zero to listen to her_. She had forced him _to bow_ to her whims. She could feel her lower lip tremble. To keep the shaking from growing worse, she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down hard. _‘That’s…that’s unforgivable…Strong, unbend-able Zero…and I made him bend to me.’_ Every cell in her body screamed that it was a heinous crime. _‘No wonder he’s so angry…Zero doesn’t bow to anyone. Not pain, not his own creator…and I…I forced him to.’_ She bit deeper into her bottom lip, drawing a little bead of blood. ‘ _I...I have to apologize. I have to find him.’_

            With that thought in mind, Yuuki shot down the halls after him.

X

            Zero stomped forward. Logically, he knew that Yuuki was still new to her abilities; she hadn’t meant to force him to do anything. Right now, however, he couldn’t see through the haze that had fallen over his common sense. All he knew was that Yuuki had used her abilities to make him to do what she wanted him to do. She had acted as a Pureblood; in that moment, he had seen Kuran in her eyes and it had repulsed him.

            He had been so lost in his thoughts that he had missed the slight sound of someone approaching him from behind. A weight collided with his back and slender arms wrapped around him. He didn’t have to question who had him. Yuuki’s scent surrounded him.

            “I’m sorry!” She shouted before he could react. “I didn’t meant to! I didn’t even realize I was doing anything!” He could hear the tears clotting her voice. His anger faded immediately. Zero’s eyes slid closed for a moment. He hated this weakness for her, but at the same time he reveled in it. Gently, he unwound her arms from around him so that he could turn around to face her. She let go of him easily, but her hands don’t fall down to her side. Instead, she covers her face to hide her shining eyes.

            He didn’t tell her it was okay; instead, he simply said, “I know.”

            “I…I still have a lot to learn,” Yuuki told him before she lowered her hands. Her eyes pleaded with him beautifully as she said, “But, please know I would never intentionally hurt you.”

            “Yuuki,” Zero sighed. He hated that he couldn’t stay angry with her when she looked at him with such sadness. He reached forward and placed a hand up top her head. “As if you could,” he teased as he ruffled her hair. Yuuki stared up at him, hiding a sad smile within herself.

            They both knew the devastating truth. All they seemed to be doing these past few months is hurting one another. Yuuki knew she would only hurt him more in the past few months to come, but she couldn’t bring herself to create distance. He wouldn’t let her put that distance between them anyway. She forced a smile onto her lips as they walked, without saying a word, to the front gate of the Night Class dormitory.

            What could be said after something like this? Melancholy hung in the air around them like a heavy blanket. The consequences of her slip hadn’t been resolved. Zero still felt the burn from it, but he had forgiven her. Yuuki just couldn’t forgive herself.   

X

            Aidou waited by Ruka’s door with all-encompassing dread. His love-sick cousin stood beside him quietly. Aidou suppressed a snort as a thought came to him: _‘I’m replacing Kain as her slave for the day.’_ In a few seconds, however, he realized the error of that thought. Kaname had clearly expressed that his punishment would last an entire week…Maybe longer if Aidou somehow displeased him between now and then. He swallowed. _‘I had better be on my best behavior. I don’t need another week of following around this she-devil.’_

            Thinking of Kaname typically made Aidou either delirious with happiness or fearful; but today, it made him think of another person all together. Yuuki Cross. Kaname’s punishment had not distracted him from what he had seen, what he had felt. The power that had surrounded her in the moment after she pulled him off of her friend had been immense—equal to that of a Pureblood.

            “Hanabusa,” Kain spoke from beside him. Aidou hummed. “There is something about your statement last night that bothers me.” Aidou was now giving his cousin his full attention. “When vampires like us feed, our focus is expanded to more than just our meal…All of our other senses open up so that we aren’t diverted. So, how did Yuuki Cross get the jump on you?” Aidou hid a flinch.

            Typically, he would be honest with his cousin; but, in this case, he had to think of a lie. He was certain that Kaname didn’t want anyone knowing that Yuuki held such power…that she was a Pureblood. The very thought still confused him. It was entirely possible that she had been sealed away; but seals like that didn’t just weaken normally. A shudder passed down his spine. _‘Yuuki would have be an incredibly powerful Pureblood to break through the seal.’_   Somehow that thought made him more nervous than being Ruka’s slave for a day.

            “Hanabusa?” Kain called his attention.

            “She was trained by the most dangerous Vampire Hunter around, Kain. You don’t think he taught her a few tricks?” Aidou prayed that Kain would let it go.

            “Maybe so,” Kain murmured, looking away from him. Aidou could sense that his cousin was about to say more, but he was interrupted by Ruka opening her door.

            “Okay! Let’s get this day started,” Ruka announced. Aidou swallowed at the maniac gleam in her eyes. He followed her down the stairs tensely; his amused cousin trailing just behind them. “Aidou, I have your first task of the day.”

            “Joy,” Aidou muttered underneath his breathe. Ruka ignored him. She stopped at the front door where all of the other Night Class students were gathered. She turned on her heel and shoved her books into his chest. “You are to carry my books.” A vein in Aidou’s head started to tick.

            “You’ve got perfectly good arms, don’t you? But then again, they may be tired from all that excessive pampering you do in the mornings,” the words slipped out of Aidou’s lips naturally. The gleam in Ruka’s eyes became brighter.

            “Rima,” the redhead easily came over to Ruka’s side. An expectant look lit her blue eyes. Ruka plucked her books from her hands and tossed them on top of hers. “You’ll be carrying those too.” Ruka looked at him and tilted her head to the side. “No…just that doesn’t seem fitting enough. After all, you disrespected me…Maybe I should tell Kaname that you are going against his wishes. After all, he said you weren’t to back talk me.”

            “No!” Aidou gasped out. All he could think of were more sessions like this. All he could see was her forcing him to do more ridiculous, demeaning things. The horror he felt at the thought overrode his pride. “I’ll do anything! Just don’t tell him!” Ruka’s responding smirk was positively evil.

            “Anything?” Aidou nodded warily. Ruka raised her hand and snapped her fingers as she said, “Girls of the Night Class, lay your books on top of mine and Rima’s. Aidou will carry them today. He clearly needs a lesson in gentlemanly behavior.” The girls filed forward one by one, each making the load in Aidou’s hands heavier. By the time the girls were finished, Aidou was swallowed completely by the tower of text books. “And you had better not drop a single one,” Ruka told him threateningly. Wisely, Aidou kept silent.

            It was now that Kaname came down the stairs. He only quirked an eyebrow at seeing Aidou burdened with so many books; then, he smirked in amusement.

            “Impressive punishment, Ruka,” he complimented her. He missed the way Ruka lit up at the friendly praise, but Kain did not. He sighed. “Come now, everyone. The gates are about to open,” Kaname alerted them all as he opened the door to the Night Class Dormitory and stepped outside. The others followed suit; Aidou moved more slowly with his mountain of books. He couldn’t drop one, under any circumstances. He did not want more than a week of this torture.  

X

            Yuuki stood loosely in front of her line. It still amazed her how the girls surrounded her seemed to have developed a respect for her personal space. A small part of her was proud that she inspired the same emotions as Zero; but another part of her was saddened. She had never meant to inspire fear; that wasn’t the kind of person she was.

            _‘How can you say you know yourself anymore?’_ The thought rose. Yuuki closed her eyes. _‘I can’t…’_ She knew the answer. _‘So much has changed…Is this something I will have to relearn? Who I am?’_   For years upon years, Yuuki had wondered where she came from, if it would make any difference to know. Now that she knew those answers, she didn’t know what to do with them. Of course, at the time she had been asking these questions, she had thought she was just an average human. Finding out she was a Pureblood had not been anywhere in her mind.

            Yuuki almost missed the conversations with her other half. She was surprisingly reassuring. Certainly, she would have had some encouraging words for her at this moment.  

            The gate opening and the screams in her ear distracted her from her depressing musings. She looked up to see the line of Night Class members. She blinked. Books wobbled back and forth in the hands of an unsteady Aidou, who was being tripped up deliberately by Rima and Shiki. Shiki’s foot connected with Aidou’s ankle lightly; still, the top heavy Aidou stumbled forward. A strange, panicked cry escaped his lips as he struggled to right himself without dropping a single book. Yuuki didn’t bother holding back her laugh at the sound. Aidou’s eyes snapped over to her and narrowed into a glare. Yuuki brought her hand over her lips to hide her clear laughter. Though she could tell Aidou was sufficiently annoyed that she was getting amusement out of his plight, he adverted his eyes and did nothing. She lowered her hand from over her mouth. All amusement drained out of her at his clear lack of spirit. She sighed.

            She didn’t know whether his change in temperament was because of the Yori incident or because of her new status as Kaname’s lover. Her cheeks heated slightly at the word. Her attention was pulled away from her thoughts by the girls’ whispering in her ears.

            _“Kaname-sempai is coming this way!”_

_“Eeee!! I wonder what he wants?!”_

_“Isn’t it obvious? He wants to talk to Yuuki.”_ Yuuki didn’t miss the bitterness in the last girl’s tone. She simply ignored it and stared at Kaname’s approaching figure. He smiled when he saw he had her attention. Yuuki’s heart gave a small skip at the sight. She returned his smile.

            “Yuuki,” he greeted her warmly, “I trust your day has gone well.” Yuuki’s smile faltered as his words brought up the memory of what had happened earlier. Kaname did not miss the shadow that passed over her eyes. “Oh. I am sorry that it has not. Forgive me for reminding you of something unpleasant.” His formal apology made her smile slightly. Suddenly, his eyes filled with meaning as he leaned forward, “it seems I still have much to learn.”

            Yuuki knew immediately what he meant. Though to the eavesdroppers it sounded like yet another part of his apology, but Yuuki understood he meant their first meeting would be tonight. Not many would have been able to draw such a conclusion; but Yuuki had been raised with Kaname—both as a vampire child and as a human. He understood her moods, her shifts in emotions, better than most. His final statement had been unnecessary; and Kaname did not do unnecessary statements.

            She smiled and nodded her understanding. He smiled and moved to draw back away from her. Her brows furrowed slightly as she saw that familiar gleam enter his eyes. Before she could move or even think to stop him, he kissed her cheek—dangerously close to the corner of her mouth. Squeals and screams erupted behind her and behind Zero. Kaname drew back with a slight smirk. Yuuki narrowed her eyes as he walked away from her; his smile was still firmly in place. He was not bothered by her ire in the least. She puffed her blushing cheeks. Her enhanced hearing picked up his chuckle.

            “Heyy! Cross! What was that?!” One brave girl stepped from Zero’s line and ignored the leveling glare he sent in her direction. One finger jabbed accusingly toward Yuuki.

            Yuuki turned her eyes to her. The girl seemed to freeze immediately. It was as if she had been pinned in place by a predator. _‘Indeed,’_ Yuuki acknowledged, _‘she has been.’_ Curiously enough, Yuuki’s regret at this fact was absent. Later, she would grieve over this; but not for long. After all, she wouldn’t miss being bullied by these petty, jealous girls.

            “Obviously, it was a kiss to the cheek,” she drawled, unforgiving in her sarcasm. “Surely, you were paying attention since you so boldly stepped past Zero to demand an answer.” The girl immediately became aware that she had stepped over the line Zero had established at the start. She paled even further. Her eyes snapped toward Zero, who was standing close to her now. The girl had no way of knowing that he was readying to intervene should this unstable version of his best friend do something; all she saw was his closeness.

            “I’m sorry!” She squealed at Zero. Her friends grabbed her by the shoulders and jerked her back behind the line. Still, Zero’s stance did not relax. He stared with concerned lavender eyes. What the human senses did not pick up, his could register well. The churning, frustrated aura swirling around Yuuki belied the danger the girls were in. It only told him what he already knew. Yuuki did not have a handle on her powers. She was dangerous as she was. He swallowed. His hand crept slowly toward his gun as the hunter in him awoke.

            Yuuki noticed his hand creeping toward his hostler. Her eyes widened. Hurt flashed through her eyes for a moment; before the emotion was quickly wiped clean from her now narrowed eyes.

            “All of you, go back to your dorm,” Yuuki demanded coolly of them. This time no one argued with her demand.  The area quickly cleared out. Before the last one had left, Yuuki was already walking away from him.

            Zero dropped his hand away from his gun as if the very metal burned him. He stared, almost numbly at Yuuki’s retreating back. The reality of what he had done sank in now that no humans were near. _‘I almost pulled my gun on **Yuuki**.’ _ His stomach rolled with the realization. Bile rose to his throat. He forced it back with a grimace. His hands shook as he brought them through his hair. _‘I pulled my gun on Yuuki, the girl who always believed in me…who has always defended me, stood up for me…and I even entertained the idea of shooting her…’_

            The hunter in him whispered that he had no idea the humans in the area were safe. Yuuki was out of control then. She could have seriously hurt one of the girls they swore to protect—even if it had been an accident.

            _‘Why am I not chasing after her?’_ He wondered to himself. He stared down at his feet as if they were alien. ‘ _She doesn’t want me too.’_ He knew that. _‘She is too angry right now. Too violate. But isn’t that all of the reason I should go after her? What happens if a human antagonizes her right now? What will she do?’_

            Later, he would be ashamed that it was that thought that got him to move and not his worry for her emotional state. He had hurt her deeply, but it was his fear that she would hurt someone that made him move.

            Once a hunter, always a hunter.

            It sickened him, but he couldn’t turn it off…and he never would. 


	19. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki, shocked and hurt by Zero's actions, hastens the inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

            Once Yuuki was far enough away from Zero and far enough away from the school—in a little sectioned off part of the woods, she allowed herself a few minutes to break down. Her unease and heartbreak at what had just happened overwhelmed her. She sank to her knees. She could feel the water seeping through the knees of her thigh high socks, but she wasn’t truly registering it. Excluding the raging headache, her body was completely numb. In this safe place, she was free to let go of her tenuous control. Tree after tree fell in their devastating wake, but still she didn’t move. Splinters of wood rained down in the clearing. The ground around her cracked along the surface. Trees further down the way groaned and moaned at the wind that tore through the clearing.

             And she sat at the eye of the storm.

X

             It was just as Zero was walking into the building that he felt it. His eyes widened as his knees threatened to buckle underneath the weight of the dominating force that had erupted from the forest. Overwhelming noise of trees splitting and uprooting filled the quiet school yard. Immediately, shouts of surprise came from the buildings around him; Zero could see a few students pressing against the glass of the dorms.

             He knew that he should have stayed to control the stream of students trying to get out of the building to see what was wrong, but he couldn’t stand there. This heavy force was Yuuki. His mind was at war with itself. On one hand, he was worried about her mental and emotional state; on the other, he was concerned for the students they were supposed to be protecting.

 _‘What will happen if she can’t reign in her abilities? What if this devastation reaches the school? How can I get to her? Will she even listen to me when I do?’_ He wondered as he ran for the forest line. Another thought lashed into him harder than the stray winds he was encountering as he moved forward: _‘How can I stop her?’_

 _‘Stop her?’_ He questioned himself with horror. _‘Stop her?! This is Yuuki!’_ Yuuki’s face flashed through his mind. The memory of her smiles warmed his heart; her care for him—her kind touch, her warm laugh, the way she never gave up on him—stayed at the front of his mind now. _‘How could I have ever seen her as a threat? She was always in my corner, cheering me on, and believing in me. How could I have turned my back on her when she needed an anchor?’_ He ignored the hunter side of him and doubled his efforts to reach her, but the winds stopped him at every turn.

             This time, he didn’t mind the pain. 

X

             Kaname’s hand halted in his note taking as he felt was every noble in the classroom would be feeling soon. The oppressive weight of raw, unrestrained might that could only come from a Pureblood. He would be out of the room before they could fully register its location. The nobles and the teacher were left staring at rustled notebook pages and an empty seat while Kaname was already three stories down and out of the building.

             A weaker vampire would have been shoved back by the powerful winds Yuuki was creating, but Kaname easily cut through the winds with his own force. Kiryuu was not having such an easy time. It was only Kaname’s blood still churning inside of Zero that allowed him to still stand at the tree line. Kaname hardly sparred the boy a glance as he walked through the winds.

             As he moved through the moaning and groaning forest, he was assessing her power level. The winds were increasing the closer he got to her; the damage to the trees becoming more severe. He was both pleasantly surprised and concerned to find that walking forward was becoming a little more difficult the further he went ahead. Kaname released more of his own energy and continued on.

             After two more fluctuations, Kaname saw her. His heart shattered at the sight she made. _‘Just what happened to you, my dear girl?’_

X

              _She vaguely registered the movement of his hand, but her attention was elsewhere. She could feel her powers pushing against her mind, insisting that they be released. It was taking all of her attention, all of her will to hold them back. **‘I’m growing more out of control,’** Yuuki was quick to realize. **‘My nightly meditation isn’t enough anymore…’**_ _Her eyes sought her anchor in this moment: Zero. She didn’t want to hurt him. She didn’t want to hurt any of these girls really; but she wanted protect Zero even more. Her eyes landed on him and her heart froze in her chest._

_The hand that she had seen move was creeping underneath his jacket. She could just see the hostler of his gun peeking through the fabric._

_He was reaching for his vampire weapon._

Her heart seemed to freeze all over again at the memory. Shivers ripped through her frame; a tree was tore up from its roots. She bent over, clutching her stomach. Pain ripped through her unlike anything she had ever known. It was above the hunger; it was above a broken bone or any cut—no matter the instrument. A moan of complete pain slipped from her lips as she bent forward even further. Her head pressed into the leaves.

            She knew, almost immediately, that she had pushed her limit. Her show of anger…her out of control lashing—had depleted her and more than likely rushed her transformation even more. A whimper of complete fear threatened to escape her lips. She pressed her hands to her mouth and tried to focus on breathing…on calming down.

            But the sounds… God, the sounds of the forest and surrounding school filled her eyes; the smells overwhelmed her. She closed her eyes tightly to block one of her enhanced senses. She couldn’t handle it all. More trees fell.

            “Yuuki,” her head snapped up at her name. Four tree tops exploded from their trunks and tumbled down to the forest floor. Kaname stood among the falling shards. His dark eyes were filled with sympathy and worry. The only sound that filled the area now was that of her rapid breathing and his even ones. Kaname started his way toward her. Her wild powers lashed out around him, but he was completely nonplussed. He knelt down on the ground in front of her. He reached for her and thread his fingers through hers. She felt his aura wrap around her, cocooning her with his warmth.

            Yuuki couldn’t tear her eyes away from his. The sheer intensity in his gaze held her. Her heart was torn between racing at his closeness and calming at the safety she felt around him. He was so close to her that all she could focus on was him. Everything in the area was blocked out. His lips were parted; she could feel his breathes on her lips. Unconsciously, she started to mirror his steady, even breathes.   

            Slowly, her rage and pain began to retreat into nothing but a dull ache. Slowly, she straightened. Kaname stayed quiet as she took in the damage around her. _‘How long have I been out here?’_ She wondered numbly. More than nine trees were laid out in front of her—completely broken in half or torn from their very roots. Some trees, Yuuki realized, had been completely disintegrated. Saw dust covered the leaves in places. Further down the forest, trees were titled and bare of their leaves. She flushed with both embarrassment and horror. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

            “Don’t apologize, darling girl,” he replied softly as he stroked her hand with his thumb. “They will grow back.”

            “What about…” She trailed off as she saw him. Zero stood at the edge of her crudely made clearing. He looked entirely windswept and out of breathe. Blood welled up around a number of cuts and his cheek was turning black. Concern flushed through her before the memory of what happened between them surged forth. She dropped her eyes to the forest floor. “Shouldn’t you be patrolling in my absence, Zero?” Yuuki asked, suddenly fascinated with Kaname’s hands on hers. For a moment, she heard nothing.

            “I…was worried about you,” Zero replied finally. Yuuki smiled slightly, but it lacked its usual happiness. No, this smile was sad and sent a shard of ice through Zero’s heart. She didn’t look at him.

           “Thank you for your concern, but I will be alright,” her reply was formal. Somehow that hurt more than the distance in her smile. Zero couldn’t form a response. He couldn’t…focus on anything but the distance that spanned between them. He rolled his lips together and sought for a different point to focus on. He cursed when he found Kaname’s form. Severe, curious scarlet eyes were staring between Yuuki and him. Zero looked away and spun on his heel. Shame and self-hatred filled him as he walked toward the main buildings.

           His thoughts were poisonous _. ‘Of course Yuuki is fine now. Her precious Kaname-sama is with her.’_ Those thoughts drifted into heart felt sorrow. _‘He will keep her stable, be her anchor…without hurting her as I did.’_ Sickness churned in his stomach as he wondered what would have happened had that look in her eyes not stayed in his hand. Would he have really pulled his gun on _Yuuki_? Aimed it at her head as if she were a rabid vampire aiming to kill his charges? He knew that he would never have been able to pull the trigger, but it was bad enough that he even pointed his gun. 

X

            Kaname turned his eyes back to Yuuki as Zero walked away. Her eyes were still locked on their hands. He gave them a gentle squeeze. She looked back up at him. He captured her eyes easily. He wanted to know just what it was Zero had done to hurt his dear girl so deeply, but he did not wish to upset her again. “Do you feel well enough to return to my dorm and begin our lessons?” He asked instead.

            “Yes,” Yuuki agreed without a second thought. She needed something to distract her from that incident. Kaname rewarded her with a small smile and helped her stand with him. Suddenly, she became slightly meek and looked up at him through her lashes. His heart gave a quiet skip at the sight. “Can…Can you do what you did last time, onii-sama?” She asked quietly. He didn’t have to ask what she meant. Her tired form told him all he needed to know. He smiled endearingly. She kept her eyes on him as he leaned down toward her.

            “Of course,” he whispered before his lips touched her in a brief, gentle kiss. Her eyes closed at the soft kiss before she felt wind kick up around her. She opened her eyes in time to see her love become his familiar. The bats surrounded her as they had before; she let her eyes slide closed as he whisked her away from the destroyed clearing.

X

            Kaname landed in his dorm easily, holding his lover in his arms. He was met only by Seiren. He quietly nodded to her and whispered, “Go to the forest and tend to it, Seiren. If you encounter the others, tell them I do not wish to be disturbed.” She did not truly understand his orders, but she did as he asked. It was not her place to ask why. She would know when she arrived why her actions were necessary. She disappeared, leaving Kaname with his resting love. He could sense that she wasn’t asleep; she was simply resting.

            He had no problem carrying her to his rooms. He stared down at her as he moved. Love swelled in his heart at the sight of her resting, peaceful face. He couldn’t help but think that this would not have been possible a few weeks ago. His little love would have bristled at his notion of carrying her; she would have blushed, stuttered, and fought to get free of his arms. That ancient sadness filled his heart at the distance that had been between them. His eyes widened when hers opened. She looked up at him curiously.

            “What is it?” He asked.

            “What were you thinking just now to put such a sad look on your face?” She returned. “Was it of me?”

            “Yes,” Kaname admitted as he looked away from her, “but no. You are not the same girl you were.”

            “Do you miss her?” Yuuki asked, not looking away from him. A gentle smile graced Kaname’s lips and his eyes flicked back down to her.

           “Yuuki is my Yuuki, no matter her form,” he told her. “I cannot miss her when she is in my arms like this.”

           “So evasive, Kaname,” Yuuki muttered, shaking her head. She pushed herself up in his arms slightly, changing position. He didn’t have to stop, but he did anyway. Something about her words made it impossible for him to keep moving. She draped her arms around his shoulders and looked into his eyes so he could see her sincerity. “My ignorance of weeks ago is gone now. I won’t pull away from you any longer.” His eyes bore into her at that statement. Yuuki felt her heart begin to race, but she ignored it in favor of getting the words that she always wanted to say out. “You always have meant so much to me, but I did not know how to show you. My humanity stopped me. You were leagues away from me and I could never touch you. After all, how could I? You had made your differences to my kind clear.” Kaname could not argue with her. His most deliberate act to establish that distance haunted him. “You pushed me away, Kaname, with a very deliberate move.” His eyes widened at her statement. “Feeding from Ruka mere inches from where you had laid me…Were you so thirsty that you could not wait? No…You had better control than that. You could have waited until I was gone to take advantage of her feelings for you. Instead, you made certain I would see you.”

           “You forced my hand, Yuuki,” Kaname whispered, recalling his feelings from that moment. “Like a little sheep walking into the wolves’ den, ignorant of the danger.”

           “I wasn’t ignorant, but I digress. It is no use arguing over a point made long ago, but you must understand where that Yuuki stood. You had made it clear that you were different. All she saw was your magnificence and found herself lacking. I have no such delusions. Onii-sama is my fiancée. We were meant to be together.” Kaname zoned in now on her wordage. He furrowed his brow. Suddenly, he understood what was happening.

           “Imōto,” he realized. The girl he was speaking to now was not the one he had held in the clearing. This was the sleeping half of his love. He didn’t understand how she was at the forefront. It had taken him a moment to notice because their speech patterns had mingled: the refined teachings of his parents were merged with the free vocabulary of their old hunter friend. 

            “Clever onii-sama,” she breathed with a grin. “So you have noticed? I’ll admit that it took you a little longer than I thought it would…but then again, I cannot blame you. She and I are so close now…I am surprised that I am even capable of overtaking her now…” Suddenly, her tired eyes became urgent. “You must hasten our change. We do not have long now. Our display in the forest shortened us to mere days.”

            “Will she know?”

            “Of course she will be aware the moment I return to her my shrinking place in her mind, but she will try to put it off and ignore it,” the vampire pouted. His heart melted as it always did when Yuuki made such a face. “You can’t let her. Force the change upon her if you have too.” His heart ached at the thought of forcing his fangs into her neck and ending her human life. Yuuki reached up and touched his cheek softly. “I am sorry that I have to ask it.”

            “Yuuki would not be Yuuki if she were not stubborn,” Kaname brushed off her apology. Yuuki gave him a sad smile and closed her eyes again. He understood that to mean his imōto was gone for the moment. Yuuki opened her eyes with a grimace, likely being told the news. She let out a quiet sigh and tightened her arms around his neck for a moment before she realized her position. A slight blush stole across her face; she leaned back slightly so that she could look in his eyes.

           “She told you,” it was a statement, not a question. Kaname nodded.

           “You are aware of the things she does?”

           “Now I am. I probably would not have been a few weeks ago…but we are so close now…”

           “So she said,” Kaname muttered.

           “Everything she said was true, Kaname. Only she is a little bitter over the Ruka thing. I think…I think,” her cheeks flushed, “I think I wanted to be the only person you fed from.” She focused on a place over his shoulder. Her hand idly raised to touch the side of her neck where Zero’s bite had been many times before. She was unaware of glowing eyes fixated on her neck; he traced alongside her finger as it moved down the pulse point of her neck. “Zero said that my blood cried out for your fangs. I knew, on some level, that he was right. But it felt very intrusive. I knew that I wished you were the one feeding from me e-” Her words left her in a quiet exclamation as Kaname jarred her up higher and pushed her against the wall. Her legs were splayed loosely around his hips to avoid them being crushed between the wall and his body. His hand cradled the back of her head to shield it. Before she had settled, his lips were slanted over hers. His lips pressed heavily against hers; his kiss was dominating and passionate. It stole her breathe as he worshiped and punished her lips at the same time. He pulled away. She opened her eyes slowly; she stared—curious and dazed. He pressed his forehead to hers. It was now that she noticed how his eyes glowed scarlet.

            “How cruel you are to tempt me so, Yuuki,” he whispered, want made his voice hoarse. Yuuki felt remorseful in this moment; the words danced on the tip of her tongue— _do it, change me now_ —but she swallowed them back. “When I want nothing more…”

 _“Someday, Kaname-sama’s lips will gently brush your neck and his fangs will sink slowly into you…If you heard the sound of Kaname-sama taking in your blood, you’d be in ecstasy…”_ A quiet whimper escaped her lips as Aidou’s words filtered back into her mind. An ache—one she had only felt in that moment back then—spread through her body. Her mind was not so young that she did not realize it for what it was: _desire_.

           “Kaname,” she breathed. His glowing eyes met hers. He had heard the sound of her whimper; he could sense the changes in her body; his knees threatened to buckle at the sheer need in her voice. Her eyes…god, her eyes were his undoing. They burned with fire and swam with pleading. How could he resist? He found himself leaning forward. A small sound escaped the back of his throat as she tilted her head to the side for him.

            This was not like before. She knew most of the things he kept from her; there was no trace of fear in her scent. Only true desire that bordered on pain. His breathe began to leave him quicker. His restraint was fraying faster.

           “Tell me,” he whispered as he trailed his nose along her neck. “Tell me that you want this. Tell me that if I wake you right now, you will not resent me in the morning.”

          “I won’t,” she promised breathlessly. She pulled him closer to her; her hands gripped his jacket as if afraid he would move. “I won’t resent you, Kaname.” Speaking was a little difficult with the way his lips were tracing up and down her neck, placing little teasing kisses. His tongue darted out occasionally to taste her skin. She was reduced to a trembling mess in his arms, but she still managed to speak her truths, “I’m so tired of it all…pretending to be something I’m not. Please…Kaname, let me return to the life I had with you. Please, I want this. I want-” Her breathe left her in a quiet moan as his fangs sank into her neck. “ _This_ ,” she breathed.

           It was just as Aidou had promised. As her blood hit his tongue, he let out a moan of his own that set her body alight. She shivered and clutched him closer. God, the sound…the feeling…she felt as if she were going to come apart in his arms as he drank from her. Suddenly, he stopped. A quiet whimper escaped her at the loss of him, but she was quickly distracted by the wall in her mind crumbling. Disorientation filled her for a moment as more memories—things she hadn’t had access to—flooded her mind. She saw something approaching her mouth through the blurriness in her vision; it was his bloodied wrist. She blinked. Had he cut himself?

          Before she could ponder on his injury, the thirst she had grown accustomed to raged at her throat more violently than it had before. She gasped and immediately caved to it. She felt Kaname’s body shudder against her as her lips closed over his wrist. She was only able to drink a few sips of his blood before her eyes grew impossibly heavy. She gave him a warm smile before she slipped willingly into the sleep that would complete her change. When she awoke, she would truly be a vampire.

          Kaname cradled her in his arms; gently, he moved away from the wall with her. He continued down the hallway he had originally intended to go down. He laid her down gently on his bed. He sat down beside her and stared at her face. His heart was racing at this new development.

          Yuuki…Yuuki was his again. Really his. When she would awake, she would know everything that the fragile wall kept from her. He licked his lip. He wanted to lay down beside her, but he could sense someone rushing toward the dorms. He knew who it was.

          None of his nobles would be dumb enough to interrupt. So, that left only Kiryuu. Kaname reached down and stroked her cheek gently. He traced the slope of her soft cheek and caressed her bottom lip softly. He couldn’t help but wish she were awake already.

          Kiryuu was almost at the door already. He could feel from Zero’s aura that his intent was a violent one. Kaname stood and walked down the stairs so that he could meet him before the reckless boy damaged his door.  

          That being stated, Kaname opened the door before Zero could even think to kick it in.

          “How dare you!” Zero roared. Kaname easily dodged his punch with a quiet tsk.

         “I was under the impression she had informed you of her Pureblood status, Kiryuu,” Kaname said as he dodged yet another sloppy swipe. “What did you think would happen? Did you believe she would live out the rest of her days as a human despite knowing she wasn’t one?” He paused his words with easy steps to the side to dodge Zero. “Did you think she would be happy with that life?” The silent _‘with you’_ echoed in the space around them. Zero snarled and lunged for him again. Kaname squared his shoulders and readied himself. He took the hit that Zero delivered to his shoulder and spun him around. He slammed him roughly into the door by his throat. Kaname frowned at Zero’s defiant and angry expression. “Or…” He speculated lowly, “are you under the impression that she did not want this?” Zero stared at him with such loathing that Kaname immediately knew he had found one of the reasons Zero was so angry. It wasn’t because Zero thought Yuuki didn’t want it; it was because he knew she did. He just couldn’t accept that she did. Kaname gave a mental sigh. _‘It appears I will have to force him to see…’_ Kaname’s eyes glowed abruptly.

 _“I’m so tired of it all…pretending to be something I’m not. Please…Kaname, let me return to the life I had with you. Please, I want this. I want-” Her breathe left her in a quiet moan as he sank his fangs into her neck. **“This,”** she breathed as he savored the first drop of her blood. _ He forced his cherished memory into Zero’s mind. His body heated as he recalled the sound she had made with perfect clarity. His body gave a small, unnoticed shudder.

         Zero tensed at the intrusion. His enemy faded from view as grief threatened to swallow him. Yuuki….Yuuki truly had asked him for it. Hell, she had practically begged him for it. A shiver of disgust rippled down his spine at the ecstasy he felt in Kaname’s memories; but he couldn’t really blame Kaname for that. Zero had felt it when Yuuki gifted him with her blood…but it had been tainted by the longing for Kaname that he tasted. Her love for the vampire in front of him was always there…with every feeding. The longing always seemed to grow. He bit into the inside of his lip and clenched his jaw.

         Kaname was watching him closely, waiting for him to try and attack. Defeat and rage fought for dominance on his face. A rush of pity rippled through him unexpectedly. He stepped back and released him back to his feet. Despite the sudden bout of sympathy Kaname felt, he did not relax. He stood back and waited for the young man to process it all. While Kaname waited, he studied his rival. If things had been different, Kaname knew he could be in his shoes. Yuuki didn’t have to choose him. She could have just as easily chosen Zero. If Kaname was being honest, he knew she still could; but he had complete faith that she wouldn’t.   

         Zero had known that Yuuki would never choose him from the start…so he simply did not pursue her. Instead, he watched her with longing and let his feelings fester. Now…now he was feeling the sting from his infection. His throat burned with the thirst that Kaname’s little showing had awaken; but he refused to let it rise to show in his eyes. Zero let his eyes return to Kaname’s own rust colored ones. Eyes…that were so like Yuuki’s. Cold stole over him immediately at the realization.

        “Who is Yuuki to you?” Zero demanded. He could see it more clearly now. That cold, sad look Yuuki had given him just before she disappeared into the forest and then again later…he knew why it had felt so familiar. Kaname’s eyes.

       “Her fiancée,” Kaname didn’t mince words. Zero flinched, but still shook his head. “And her brother.” Disgust was painted clearly on Zero’s face at that. Kaname smiled coldly. “We are beasts, Zero. It is not an uncommon thing in Pureblood lineage.” 

       Zero gave a quick nod; and then, without looking at Kaname, he turned and walked out of the dormitory. After all, what kind of reaction could he give in return? This was too much for him to process. After the day he had, he didn’t know if he even wanted to try. 

       Kaname rolled his jaw and closed the door behind him. He didn’t bother locking it. The nobles would be out of class soon. He would have to explain why the smell of another Kuran Pureblood filled the air; he would have to tell those that surrounded him about Yuuki and demand their silence. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

       This would not be fun…but he found that he couldn’t wait for the later on in the night when Yuuki would awake. He had waited so long; his patience could last a few hours more.


	20. These Bloodstained Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki falls into the memories she couldn't access before and discovers a horrifying secret about her life with her parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino.

_Yuuki held her little teddy bear close to her side as she crept up the stairs toward her parents’ bedroom. The heel of her little hand scrubbed at her eye as she approached the door. It wasn’t just sleep she was clearing from them, but the evidence of her tears too. She pushed it open to find her father leaning in close to her mother’s neck; glowing red eyes lit the room. In her haste to find comfort, she had forgotten what time it was. Mother and father would not like to be interrupted now; though she knew they would gladly comfort her. Still, Onii-sama had described the pain of thirst to her…something she was too young at this time to comprehend. Her lower lip wobbled. She didn’t want to interrupt them, but the nightmare had been so bad this time. She needed reassurance…and there was only one person left she could go too. But…Onii-sama had been in such a downcast mood lately. His smile were dimmer when they turned to her; his eyes constantly sad even when she smiled so brightly for him. What if he didn’t want to see her?_

_Yuuki shook her head to banish the ridiculous thought. Onii-sama always wanted to see her; he constantly said so. Kaname-onii-sama was many things, but a liar was not one of them. She padded silently away from her parents’ room and down the hall. She pushed open his door to find him already awake, reading yet another thick book. He looked toward her the moment the door opened._

_“Yuuki,” he called her name warmly in greeting as he set the book aside. She almost didn’t want to say anything. He was looking at her like he had before. Yuuki’s bottom lip shook anew as she recalled her nightmare. “Yuuki?” Concern tinted his voice now. She wanted to reassure her brother, but the memory of her nightmare had consumed her. Those glowing mismatched eyes peering at her from the mirror, his lips glistening with blood, and an evil laugh bubbling from his lips. Her eyes welled with tears. She found herself in his arms before the first tear could fall._

_“Onii-sama,” she wailed into his shoulder. “Don’t let him get me!”_

_“Don’t let who get you, darling girl?” Kaname whispered as he tried desperately to comfort her. She could feel his fingers running through her hair; she could feel his hand running up and down her back; and it only served to calm her little._

_“Uncle!” Yuuki sobbed. Immediately, Kaname jerked as if she had struck him.  His entire body seemed to tense around hers. Yuuki shook harder at the change she felt in her brother. A slight whimper threatened to escape her lips. His arms tightened around her._

_"How do you know of him, Yuuki?” Kaname asked her softly; his gentle question was at odds with the tension in his frame, but Yuuki answered anyway. She had to get this out of her. Maybe if she told someone that nasty man would leave her alone._

_“He told me so!” Yuuki sniffled. “He sneaks into my brain at night and tells me scary stories.” She gave a quiet squeak as his arms tightened further around her._

_“That vile man won’t lay a hand on you,” her Onii-sama promised. Yuuki could hear the truth in his voice and curled into his arms even further. She wasn’t frightened by the dangerous intent in his voice. This was her Onii-sama. He would protect her; he would do as he promised._

_She was safe. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck; and buried her nose into the crook of his neck. “Can I stay with you tonight, Onii-sama?”_

_“Of course, Yuuki,” Kaname agreed immediately._

                Yuuki drifted in and out of memories. Most were happy and peaceful, but there were ones—like the fading memory—that were filled with passing fear. She shifted in her sleep. Her hands and legs slid restlessly over the comforter as she tried to adjust to the changes her body was going under. Her clothes felt unbearably scratchy; as if the usual cotton had been replaced with wool.

                _“That pathetic excuse of your father stopped me before I could fulfill my goal,” she heard him purr. Yuuki wanted to scream and rage that her father wasn’t pathetic, but her fear of the man kept her voice mute. He was sitting so close to her on her bed in that familiar position her dad used when he read to her: one leg stretched out, the other bent toward his chest to brace his book. His arm was heavy over her shoulders. Instead of being comforting like her father’s, her Uncle’s arm was like a vice. She knew from experience that if she so much as wiggled away from him, he would pull her closer and tighten his grip. “He ripped me away from her and those betrayers called our parents sent me away. It was my right to feed from my beloved. Her blood belonged to me…” His mismatched eyes slid over to her; a frightening smile curved his lips. “You will understand when you are older. I will not let you remain ignorant. Do not worry, child.” Yuuki flinched in her sleep as his hand reached for her cheek. Scary…Uncle was frightening. Where was Onii-sama? She wanted her Onii-sama! He had promised! Yuuki peered at the hand approaching her in fear and dread. She whimpered as his palm brushed her cheek._

_“Yuuki?” She could hear her brother’s voice answering the sound of her distress. She felt the warmth of Kaname’s hand on the cheek not chilled by her Uncle’s touch. She couldn’t help but brighten. Her eyes lit up and a bright smile curved her lips. Her Uncle’s hand became heavier on her small cheek; she cried out quietly as his nails dug into the soft curve underneath her eye. His eyes glowed red with his rage. His lips snarled upward._

_“My darling nephew…” His tone practically dripped with his distaste and something else that Yuuki couldn’t identify. It was almost as if he used the term nephew mockingly. “How he always interferes…” He ripped his hand away from her cheek, leaving a stinging in its place. Yuuki whimpered even as her Uncle’s angry face faded from her vision._

_She blinked blurry, tear-filled eyes open to see her beloved Onii-sama. Those tears she had suppressed so well in her dream rushed down her cheeks. Kaname’s eyes became even more saddened. She reached for his hand that was still on his cheek and laid her hand over his. She smiled as brightly as she could, considering the tears dampening her cheeks. “Onii-sama,” she breathed happily, hoping that she could convey her relief._

_“More nightmares, beloved?” Kaname inquired softly. Yuuki latched onto the word. Yes, that was all it was. A nightmare. Yuuki nodded._

_“Will you distract me, Onii-sama?” She asked quietly. Kaname smiled warmly. Yuuki sat up and scooted over to make room for him. He sat on her bed beside her. For a moment, she feared he would take up the position Uncle had; but instead, he scooted back and laid down. Arms opening for her. She smiled widely and immediately launched into them._

_“Have I ever told you about the time father and I traveled to the mountains?” Yuuki shook her head and let herself sink into the sound of her brother speaking._

                Vaguely, she was aware of Kaname’s voice reaching her through the haze of resurfacing memories. “You will awaken soon, darling,” Kaname promised her as he slid her shoes off of her feet. For the moment, the confusing passing from one memory to the next had stopped. She was only aware of that familiar ache in her throat and of the weird feeling of her thigh-high socks creeping down her thigh. In normal circumstances, she would have blushed at the very thought of Kaname undressing her; but she was trapped in her own mind—only half aware of his actions. She knew Kaname would never overstep his boundaries.

                She hoped his promise still remained as true as they had when they were children. She so wanted to rest her eyes on his face again. Yes, she had seen him mere minutes ago…but she wanted to look at him through the eyes of her complete self. The human and vampire were finally in harmony; and she couldn’t wait to see him.

                But for now…the memories called again…

X

                Kaname removed as much clothing from his beloved girl as he felt appropriate. Her Day Class uniform jacket was draped over the back of his desk chair; her thigh-high socks were folded and placed on the chair; her shoes were on the floor underneath the chair. She was still in her button up shirt and skirt; Artemis no doubt still in her thigh hostler. He eased down onto the bed beside her again.

                He didn’t know why, but he had expected some sort of drastic change almost. Yuuki was still Yuuki. Her face did not change under her reawakening. Nothing about her features were altered. He smiled at his own silliness. “Yuuki is Yuuki no matter the form,” he whispered as he ran a finger down her soft cheek. His heart warmed as she leaned into his touch.

                “Kaname-sama,” he heard the monotone voice of Seiren call from behind the door. “I have done as you asked.” Kaname stood and walked to the door. He could tell by the woman’s eyes that she was curious, but she would not ask.

                “Thank you, Seiren,” Kaname meant it honestly. Many of the other nobles would have blushed and stammered, but Seiren only stared up at him—awaiting her next order. “I am certain you are tired, but I’m afraid I must ask one last favor of you.” She tilted her head; her eyes lit with expectation. “If it makes you uncomfortable, please do not feel ashamed to say no…but I must ask that you dress Yuuki in one of your nightgowns.” Seiren didn’t lean around him to see the girl in question.

                “Any particular color?” She asked instead. Kaname felt his lips twitch in response to the question.

                “No, Seiren. I have no special requirements. Just that she is comfortable.” And with those last few words, Seiren disappeared down the hall. Seconds later, he heard her voice from behind him:

                “Please step outside.”

                “Of course,” Kaname answered with a small grin as he closed the door behind him. He stood in the hall; his amused smirk still in place.

X

                Yuuki was slightly aware of a new set of hands touching her, but she wasn’t afraid or uncomfortable. The touch was not malicious, but careful and…caring. The fabric that had so irritated her skin was lifted from her. She felt her body being moved and positioned as it needed to be so that said clothes could come off, but she didn’t make a sound of protest. That infernal itch was gone. Suddenly, something silky and smooth slid over her body. She shivered and let out a pleasant sigh. Before her back was even fully against the bed again, she found herself alone with the memories.

                _“Why haven’t you told mother and father about your nightmares?” Kaname asked one morning while they sat by themselves. Kaname sat on the couch, reading his book; and Yuuki was curled up beside him, rearranged her dolly’s hair into a small braid._

_“They get so cranky whenever we come in during their alone time,” Yuuki answered in a way only an innocent child could. “Besides,” she whispered quieter; her braiding of the doll’s hair becoming slower, “he told me that they would not believe me…” She didn’t have to elaborate on who the he was. Kaname was the only one who knew of her nightmares._

_“Yuuki.” She turned her attention away from her doll at the tone of her brother’s voice. Her lower lip wobbled again at the pain and worry she heard in his voice. Gently, Kaname took her doll and pulled Yuuki into the shelter of his arms. Yuuki blinked; she couldn’t see his face at all. “You must not believe anything that man tells you.”_

_“Okay, Onii-sama,” she whispered into his shoulder. It was easy for her to promise him things when he held her like this. Every cell in her body screamed that she was safe. Kaname would protect her. Their scary Uncle seemed light years away from this place. She snuggled into his arms and stayed there even as he returned to his book. Maybe if she stayed in his lap like this, that man wouldn’t come back._

                These memories, these nightmares were familiar. They had followed her, Yuuki realized, into her human life. So many times in the past she had woken up screaming and needing that safety and comfort; only then, she hadn’t been able to find it. The Headmaster hadn’t been able to sooth her fears; and even when Zero came, she found his comfort lacking. His promises of protection did nothing to ease her racing heart. When the Headmaster trusted them with weapons, she had taken her protection into her own hands. For years, she had been sleeping with the collapsed Artemis underneath her pillow—never knowing exactly why she felt she needed it.

                Now that she knew why, her fear felt a little more tamed. That monster of her dreams had a name and a fully formed face. It was her Uncle. She couldn’t shake the sense of foreboding however. Somehow, these memories filtering into her mind were going to get worse.

_Her secret wasn’t kept for very long. The trauma her nightmares caused was made apparent when her father tried to read to her. He had gotten into that familiar position: back against the headboard, one knee bent and the other straight, an arm ready to drape around his daughter’s shoulders. Yuuki had found herself frozen at the edge of the bed, unable to go to him. Despite the gentle eyes of her father, all she saw was Uncle. She had never noticed before just how similar they were. The realization made her start to shake._

_“Yuuki?” Her father called worriedly. “What is it?” Horror filled her as she saw a flicker of red and blue eyes in the picture frame above her bed. Yuuki’s eyes widened further in horror as she realized it had been real. **Her nightmares were real**. _

_She screamed._

_The sound was so bloodcurdling that it brought her mother and brother down from upstairs. Her father was frozen on the bed, looking as if he had been slapped. His face was white; his eyes impossibly wide. Yuuki stared at him as if he were the devil himself come to drag her to hell._

_“Yuuki!” She was aware of Kaname’s hands on her face. He was down on one knee in front of her; his eyes level with hers. “What is it?!” She was vaguely aware of her mother screaming at her father, demanding to know what he had done; and the quiet, confused, and deeply wounded response._

_“They were real, Onii-sama!” She cried desperately. “The nightmares weren’t nightmares at all!”_

_“How do you know?” Kaname asked gently yet firmly. Yuuki shook her head rapidly; her eyes kept darting to where her father sat. The scent hadn’t had time to fade; Yuuki had been determined to stay in her brother’s room since that night. But the scent wouldn’t be there if it had been just a nightmare. She didn’t know how to say that; so, she just pointed sharply toward her bed. Her father was already moving toward his wife. Kaname roamed over to her bed and looked around._

_Yuuki knew the exact moment he caught Uncle’s scent. His eyes widened then filled with rage. A growl unlike anything her brother had let loose before filled the room._

_“Rido has been here,” Kaname growled to her parents. Her mother gave a gasp; and suddenly, Yuuki found herself in her mother’s arms. She didn’t have a problem with that. She curled up into her chest and peaked through her hair at her father. Her father’s eyes became like stones; all of the softness she was used to see had been hardened. His mouth pulled down in an angry frown. Yuuki closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see their expressions; she just wanted things to go back to how they were before her Uncle started appearing to her._

X

                The minute Seiren left the room, Kaname slipped inside. Being away from his dear girl right now seemed inconvincible. He walked to the edge of his bed and sank down on top of it. He smoothed the silk of her nightgown as he watched her. His heart tugged as he noticed the slight fearful expression on her face. Her full lips were pulled down into a frown. Her hands clutched as the skirt of her nightgown tightly. He reached forward and touched her cheek gently.

                “What memory bothers you?” He asked her quietly. He knew personally that there were many memories capable of putting that expression on her face. The happy life she had lived with Juri and Haruka Kuran lasted only five years and three months. He had been stupid, cocky. He had been certain that Rido would not try anything. He would not dare appearing in their home, especially after _that_ incident. He dropped his hand from her cheek and curled it into a fist at the side of her head. Kaname had been wrong. “Now more than ever, I wish he had never been born,” Kaname whispered. “It was horrendous enough for you to have to live through such terror as a child…but now I have forced you to remember that fear.”

_“Tell me,” he whispered as he trailed his nose along her neck. Her scent was so intoxicating to him. He had denied himself so long…it was a miracle that he was able to force the words from his lips. But he couldn’t…he wouldn’t sink his fangs into his dear girl without her whole consent. “Tell me that you want this.” He was aware that he was begging, but he didn’t care. Never before had anything felt so important. “Tell me that if I wake you right now, you will not resent me in the morning.”_

_“I won’t,” she promised breathlessly. He felt her hands grip his jacket; nails digging into the fabric as she pulled him as close as she could. As if she were afraid he would run away. He smirked slightly against her neck. As if he wanted to go anywhere. Still, he rewarded her silliness with ghost-like kisses along the column of her neck. They were as much for him as they were for her. He couldn’t resist letting his tongue sneak between his lips to join. “I won’t resent you, Kaname,” she promised him brokenly, as if she couldn’t find the air she needed. He tried not to preen with male pride at the way she trembled in his arms. “I’m so tired of it all…pretending to be something I’m not,” he closed his eyes at hearing her words. His hands tightened around her. “Please…Kaname, let me return to the life I had with you.” Oh, god…she was begging him. How that sounded… “Please, I want this.” His fangs extended from his mouth. He pressed one more kiss to the column of her neck before opening his mouth wide. “I want-” He let his fangs sink into her throat. **“This,”** she breathed. _

                Kaname swallowed at the memory; his throat had gone dry. He knew that his own saliva could not clench his sudden thirst. “Will you still feel that way once you are whole, Yuuki?” He asked her unconscious form. He knew it would be silly to wait for an answer. He pushed away from her sleeping form. Though he loathed to leave her, he knew it would be wise.

                Ten years, he had starved himself of her blood. Just those few swallows were not enough to soothe the beast inside of him. He would never forgive himself if he took advantage of her as vulnerable as she was right now.

                Blood tablets would have to do.

X

                Kaien Cross leaned against his desk, staring down at the picture of his beloved friends. He could sense the change in the air just as his vampire students could. A new Pureblood had arrived on the premise. He was not stupid. He knew what had happened: Kaname had reawakened the vampire. His heart stung viciously with the revelation. Though it wasn’t like he hadn’t expected it. Honestly, he was surprised Kaname…and Yuuki had waited this long. It had been nearly a month since Yuuki informed him that her memories were returning; that very same night, he had witnessed Kaname’s and Yuuki’s kiss on the front step. He had thought then that they wouldn’t be able to wait those two months that she talked about. Still, he supposed it was admirable of them to make it past a month.

                He set down the picture frame and bowed his head slightly. Yuuki would leave him now; the truth he had tried to ignore all throughout raising her was now upon him.

                _Kaien stood at the door to his living room, watching as Kaname and Yuuki interacted with one another. She looked up at him so adoringly, so innocently that the old vampire hunter’s heart threatened to break. The girl adored him, despite not knowing the truth. He clenched his hand around his hot cup of tea. He could see that one day, maybe not for many years, but one day, Yuuki would want to go with Kaname. In any form or fashion, she would want to be with him. There would never be anyone else she held so close to her heart. In a way, things were just as they would have been. The thought sent a sharp stab through his heart as the most glaring difference presented itself._

_If Haruka and Juri were still alive, Kaien would not have this view. Yuuki would have never came to live with him. He would have more likely met the girl in passing…maybe once or twice a year. The same goes with the young boy that sat beside her. He would not have known the boy in front of him until the time came for him to attend the Academy—if he even would have from the start. Kaien was not ignorant to Kaname’s true identity; it was simply easy to ignore in moments like these. He looked at Yuuki as if he were truly young again—fascinated by everything she did or said. Kaien turned his eyes to his honey-sweetened tea just to keep from looking at the picture they made._

_One day, Kaname would take her away. There was no doubt in his mind about that…and Kaien knew that he wouldn’t stop him. Even if he had the power, how could he get in the way of something like this?_

               Kaien sighed deeply as took a sip of his too hot, too sweet tea. It scorched his sternum on the way down to his stomach, but he didn’t mind it—anything to banish the numbness that had fallen over him.

X

                Zero leaned against the door of his dormitory room. He was aware of how hard he was breathing, how desperate he felt for air. He was ashamed to say that his vomit rested in the trashcan a few feet away. He could still hear Kaname in his mind.

                _“Her fiancée,”_ as if those words had not been bad enough, _“and her brother.”_ The thought made him feel ill again. All along, Yuuki had been in love with her _brother_. Zero gave a dead chuckle. His competition had been Yuuki’s own brother. How fucked up was that? He fell against the door, aware that he was laughing like a maniac. He brought his hand over his lips in an attempt to muffle the sound. He thumped his head back against his door and stared up at the ceiling.

                It made him feel even lower to know that Yuuki _had known_ , near the end…Yuuki had clearly known…and she had chosen Kaname anyway. Zero closed his eyes; his laughter had finally died down as a sobering thought entered his mind. _‘Not that Yuuki had even known there was a competition going on.’_

                _‘Yuuki,’_ just to think her name sent pain through him. _‘Yuuki.’_ Her pout over one thing or another. _‘Yuuki.’_ Her smile that she reserved just for him. _‘Yuuki.’_ Those big rust colored eyes staring up at him pleadingly for one thing or another. _‘Yuuki.’_ Everything about her flashed through his mind.

                Just as he landed on that cherished and cursed memory of his—the first time Yuuki allowed him to feed from her—he felt it. There was a squirming inside of him. Zero gave a shudder and then a shout as his stomach felt as if it turned in on itself. He could see Yuuki’s face flashing behind his eyes. Every feeding she had ever allowed…and then, Kuran. He shuddered and curled into a ball at the door. Not thirty minutes after his shout had died down, he heard a timid knock at his door. The Dorm President’s voice called through the solid wood:

                “Kiryuu? Are you alright, man? Do I need to get the nurse?”

                Zero clutched at his sides as he looked up to reply. It was now that he caught sight of his bright crimson eyes. The pain in stomach seemed to have overwhelmed his thirst for the moment. He swallowed.

                “Just…get the Headmaster,” Zero croaked out through his convulsing throat. For a moment, all he heard was a steady heartbeat outside his door. Zero suppressed further sounds, but still a ragged groan ripped from his lips as his throat burned sharply. 

                “Alright, just hang on,” the Dorm President called; he sounded thoroughly shaken by the noise. Zero could only nod against his knees and pray that the stupid man would get here soon. And bring back up. He didn’t know…he didn’t know how much longer he could hold onto his sanity.

                _‘What is this?’_ He panted. _‘What have they done to me?’_


End file.
